Back when I was a wee lil Balls, one of the first songs I learned in English was this one:
The second was probably this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwZyZr8Wg5U
Even though I was a wee lil Steelers fan back then, I really liked the Houston Oilers and Earl Campbell and Dan Pastorini. Those were some great teams.
At the same time, probably to spite me or to be the opposite of me, my brother was a Cowboys fan. He had a Roger Staubach action figure and everything.
So, our loyalties within the Great State of Texas were divided. Much like many families in Texas, I assume. Yes, some are Cowboys families and others are Houston families, but I’m betting a 40 oz steak that asshole brothers pulled for the other team just to spite someone.
Oh, those were the days!
Nowadays, the Oilers are technically in Nashville, the Cowboys suck balls, Houston is more known for the 500, and the word “Texans” is being forced to apply to some imaginary team placed in Houston.
Also this:
Without further ado, TO THE GAME:
The Cowboys still have not given Dak anyone to throw to and poor Dez is still sitting at home wondering why he’s being blackballed even though he never kneeled for the anthem.
The Houston franchise has a great QB in Watson and… that’s about it. Their defense is… improving. It’s almost like the two teams are mirror images of each other.
I KNOW no one in The Great State Of Texas likes this state of affairs.
The game is in apparently NOT in Dallas, so the ladies in attendance will have a bit more less makeup and bigger frizzier hair. Nothing else separates these teams.
If you’re wanting to place a bet, you might as well decide on which classic film you prefer and bet accordingly:
Enjoy the game!
Unless you want to watch the Doyers take on the Braves and really I wouldn’t blame you. At least you could avoid Collinsworth…
Or, you could do like me and continue watching the Psych marathon on the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries channel. One of the Despereaux episodes is on!
you have to wear a cowboy hat or cowboy boots everyday. Which one you choose?
Well, the hat is easier to put on and take off…
A revolver in my mouth.
Hat. A smart man protects his feet.
For how long?
every day for life
Just left a bar that had a bunch of non-football types minding their own business and one dipshit in a Zeke jersey hooting and hollering every time a Cowboy touched the ball, so now I’m even more invested in watching Dak collapse.
Everything’s bigger in Texas, even the assholes!
It’s the daily calorie intake.
Blergh
Quiet night tonight
check Watson for a concussion.
Not until they make Collinsworth sit the game out for clearly being permanently concussed
HOLY SHIT FULL CONTACT BOWLING SHOULD BE A THING!!!!!!
(bonus if they do it in bikinis)
LMFAO. I can’t stop laughing at this.
To her credit, the “defender” was not offsides. She did wait until the other girl started her wind up.
or a broken rib
Shiner Bock! My kind of lady
So many good girls in one photo
They probably wouldn’t be able to tell anyway.
He went to Clemson.
THIS DESHAUN WATSON, I CALL ALEXIS TEXAS BECAUSE HE’S A TEXAN TAKING LOTS OF SHOTS TO THE FACE
I’m so glad I didn’t bet on this game.
DAK!’s World, party time, excellent!
The last time Tavon Austin was a threat was the last time Bill O’Brien was considered a QB whisperer.
Nothing worse than jumping for a target and missing
DESPEREAUX EPISODE!!
Don’t be all jelly that RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! won even MOAR hearts and minds today.
Holy fuck, I think I’m about ready to explode after all that turkey dinner.
And in the morning, I get stuffing & gravy for breakfast, followed by a slice of pecan pie. FUCK YEAH.
THIS. IS. AMERICA.
Heil Blergh!
Nice break for Dallas.
Injury already? Wasn’t the only play this half a touchback?
Lost both shoes on the play.
Gravity?
+idiocy = fun gif
Evening. I see I picked the right time to turn the game on. . .
Pretty insane Leafs-Hawks game going on right now, 3 goals in the last 2 minutes, 2 from Kane to tie it at 6.
A Brownsian final score of 7-6 Leafs in OT.
HAIL CANADIA’s TEAM!!
That took about 17 different twists.
All I know is that guy in green is totally not gay.
Halftime.
SPLOOOSH.
Dallas Defense hanging tough. Jaylon is a beast.
Nothing brings out my inner Grouchy Old Football Person than seeing teams pass on 4th and inches.
Can get +351 on non-gendered Cowpersons. That seems pretty good value.
Give it a minute and it’ll jump to +400
Orrrrrr…maybe not.
hee hee
Anybody here listen to the Poscast with Joe Posnanski and Michael Schur? The last episode discussed how insane it is that the NFL still uses the chain gang to determine first downs. It’d be about as accurate to use a magic eight-ball.
That the same Michael Schur from Parks and Rec?
Yep. And of Fire Joe Morgan. They talk more baseball than football, but it’s pretty fun.
They should just make the yellow line officiial. It’s probably close enough.
“Is Roger Goodell a national disgrace?”
Ooooopsie. I see someone paid attention on “tip drill” day.
See, you really need that yard, send DAK DAK DAK DAK!, not Zeke.
Good thing Houston is as poorly coached as Dallas or this game would be over already.
Look, Tiger Woods just won a tournament. I think he’s put all that behind him now.
She seems like a good conversationalist. I’d love to talk to her.
Still trying to figure out why Verizon thinks having as its pitchman the most annoying guy on TV is a good thing
“Works for us!”
—Chevy ad campaign guys
ha, beat me to it
Thomas Middleditch is really funny in Silicon Valley. Thomas Middleditch makes me want to help him shave his half-beard off with a chainsaw in Verizon.
Yeah, I’m only judging the commercial personality. I only watched one or two episodes of Silicon Valley.
Sort of like how Justin Long is fine in things like Dodgeball, but punchably smug in those “I’m a Mac/I’m a PC” ads.
they need to find the right product for the Satanist, I guess
They are so big now I don’t think they give a shit.
Also, aren’t he coaches responsible for coaching the players to execute their schemes? I mean, hard to blame a player for being put in a position you never bothered to try and prepare him for.
oh, shit can you imagine Watson on Dallas?
Watson has a death wish.
[Walks into kitchen with the full intent to start making pasta for dinner]
Roommate Commander: Hey, I’m making pasta for dinner. Want some?
Hee hee….Pugs with hands.
They’d take over the world if they had opposable thumbs.
how are suppose to make the receiver drop the pass?
didn’t even hit him in or with the head! Just no longer can try to knock the ball away, I guess.
and really was BULLSHIT
TIME FOAR CONTROVERSIAL FRAG!!
“Those are some big men in that family, but you know what they’re afraid of?”
“Mama Pam?”
“I was gonna say heart disease but that works too.”
They didn’t mention that lady that went to work for Exxon-Mobil did so at 70% of the salary that a similarly-qualified male would earn.
But at least she has little hope career advancement no matter what.
But they’ll throw her a nice baby shower and keep the sexist remarks to a dull rumble!
Blax – u shud call in and demand to see Rosen’s weiner, say Birdcano nation has a rite 2 noe whether he’s cut out FOAR teh job
No #FAKEJEWS
this guy gets it imo g-dbless