2018 Quotables – Week 5 (Results)

blaxabbath -
20

NFL UK action kicks off this Sunday. We’re also into Spooktober and, assuming Fox didn’t bust him out last week, I assume we’ll start seeing the return of the robot with the jack-o-lantern head this weekend.

All just gimmicks, of course, to distract you from the on-field product.

Another good distraction? Quotables. As always, great performances all around. You all keep on producing these results content for free and I’m sure many of you are going to see this free exposure really pay off! Afterall, [YouTube Sensation] didn’t become [YouTube Sensation] overnight — though I’m sure you already know [his/her] story.

And with that, I’ve reached the word limit DTZM warned me to get back to meeting so below are your Week 5 Results!

“I WILL HUG HIM AND PET HIM AND SQUEEZE HIM AND CALL HIM JUJUBE.” -Petronel
“I’ve got three years invested in Brett Hundley, two years invested in Joe Callahan, the quarterback room is exactly where it needs to be, okay?” -BrettFavresColonoscopy
“This is why the NFL doesn’t like black QBs. They’re afraid they might have to fine a white man for hitting a black one.” -nomonkeyfun
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like… tears in rain. Time to die.” -ArmedandHammered
“Finally, the NFL has replaced Tim Tebow as their kneeling Christian.” -Enrico Pallazzo
“’I’m not one to object to a man falling to the ground in front of a pair of feet, but…not like this, Blake. Not like this.’ – Rex Ryan” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“During the bye week, the spell holding together Fitzmagic slowly began to weaken, revealing him to be an unholy combination of Dalton and Tannehill.” -Downfield Matriculator
“I haven’t seen this many Chiefs play ‘Hot Potato’ since that last multi-jurisdictional officer involved shooting!” -LemonJello

 

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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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clint greasewood

h

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS BFC, I CALL HIM THE 2018 CHICAGO BEARS OF QUOTABLES BECAUSE HE’S OFF TO AN INEXPLICABLE HOT START AND WILL INVARIABLY SHIT THE BED SOMETIME VERY SOON

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King Hippo

all of y’all doubters of The Prophecy just sicken me.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Downfield Matriculator

As a long time mostly lurker/occasional commenter here (and at KSK before), I am unreasonably proud of the recognition — easily my signature accomplishment this week (month?).

Thanks, all, and keep up the excellent dick jokery

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blaxabbath

Hard to lose when you’re making cracks about the Fitzpatrick cycle of success.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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King Hippo

Spooktober?? How about a no ofence ,, smh

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LemonJello

/Bill Parcells looks over the top of his newspaper
“Oh, Spook? I misheard you.”

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nomonkeyfun

Uh oh. Peter Thiel might be coming to sue Internet Dad soon.

https://deadspin.com/1829709453

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blaxabbath

TROY says the Giants are just playing out the season at this point.

August called, it wants it’d obvious facts back.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Welcome to the party, Downfield Matriculator! Beers are in the fridge.

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yeah right

As long as you’re in there grab one for me too.

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LemonJello

Since you’re making a trip, can you get one for me?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yes. Me want two beers.”

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LemonJello

Is it speak like THE BEN day in the clubhouse?

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Downfield Matriculator

Thanks, sounds like maybe we’ll need a keg based on the responses (and past history)

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blaxabbath

– Brett Kavanaugh, planning for a quiet evening of yelling by himself

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Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure that’s his pumpkin in the feature image

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