- Lesser Footy May Day – How Many tWBS’s Shall There Be? – May 23, 2020
- Most Glorious Return and Regerts FOAR 2028-29 – May 2, 2020
- Slight Emergence Into Reality – Saturday Open Thread – April 25, 2020
I have no overriding theme this week, as work beat mah cracker brains to a pulp this week. Here are some fixtures:
TCU at West By God Virginia (Noon, FS1)
Nobody does “letdown performance after emotional win” quite like Fuckers du Cousins. Then again, Bloodeyes actually lost to goddamned Kansas. As did Kris Kobach (snort).
Ohio State at Michigan State (Noon, Fox)
Stick with me here – Sparty wins today, then we can hope for tOSU to beat Meeeechigan at home to ensure we get a fun team in the playoffs. Okies, Fuckers du Cousins, Wazzu – somebody other than watching the B1G champ lose by 40 to Roll Damn Tide. Otherwise, one can always make side bets on which coach might have a heart attack on the touchline first.
South Carolina at Florida (Noon, ESPN)
Just fuck everything about Florida, straight in all its various and sundry fuckholes.
Mississippi State at Alabama (3:30, CBS)
Cowbells are ranked 16th, so one can imagine this as a first round matchup in a proper playoff system! There Will Be Blood.
Oklahoma State at Oklahoma (3:30, ABC)
Why the hell is the Bedlam Game being played so early? I could see this being a trap for the Okies against their BDSM-friendly cousins, but I just can’t get myself over the line to bet on same.
Washington State at Colorado (3:30, ESPN)
This could easily be a trap game for the Cougars, if the Buffs only weren’t so awful. It still might be. Because I can’t have nice things, and I really want Mike Leach to win out, FFS.
Baylor at Iowa State (3:30, FS1)
Here because I have #HAILGAMBLOR on BayBay, both ATS and ML. Fuck you, you have a problem.
Oregon at Utah (5:30, PAC-12)
Middling PAC-12 action! Sign me up, yo.
Auburn at Georgia (7:00, ESPN)
Be warned, Aubie feels good after itself after watching TAMU Jimbo theyselves down the stretch last week. This is one of those very strange rivalry fixtures, too. One that involves odd-coloured ties and blazers.
Clemson at Boston College (8:00, ABC)
Win one for the masturbatory memories of cheerleader Molly McGrath!!
Cal at USC (10:30, ESPN)
Golden Shower Bears damned near got Wazzu again last week. Will they similarly cause headaches for Troi Boiz in our tweaker fixture? MAYBE!