I’m actually more a purveyor of bad dad jokes. Or shaggy dog jokes:
Two strangers were on a train, and as they passed a farm, one of the men began muttering to himself, his finger darting about, before finally settling on “87.” The other man asked what he meant by 87, and he said “I was counting the head of cattle.”
The second man was incredulous. “We’re going 60 miles an hour, there’s no way-”
But he was cut off by another dairy farm where the man once again pointed his fingers back and forth, taking stock of the holsteins and jerseys.
“102”
“Bull. Shit. Look, dumbass, my brother happens to have a farm just down this track, and as is were, I know exactly how many cows he’s got, so if you’re such a good counter, you tell me exactly how many there are, and I’ll give you…” He rifled through his wallet. “…$320. All I’ve got.”
The man took the bet, and they approached a sprawling pasture. He quickly waved his hands across the window, standing up to make sure that every cow, calf and bull were accounted for. Finally they passed, the man closed his eyes and said “247.”
The second man was dumbstruck. He handed over the money not quite sure he understood. “How? How on earth could you possibly count all those cows as we went this fast?”
“Well, I’m going to come clean. I’ve got a trick. It’s pretty stupid, when you think about it. Do you want to know?”
“I think I have to.”
“Well,” he began to chuckle, “all I do is count their legs and divide by four.”