The parking lot was full of cars, but everyone was already inside. We were late.
It was her company Christmas party and I really didn’t want to go, but a good boyfriend does what a good boyfriend does and the reason we were late was because we’d gotten a little frisky during the dressing up process.
As it was, we had basically half-assed the dressing job as I didn’t have my tie on and she still needed to fix her scarf/top ensemble. As we parked in a spot between the cars, I looked around.
There wasn’t a creature stirring, not even a mouse.
Balls: Hey, I don’t think your top is on right.
Her: What are you talking about?
With one swift move, I had undone the knot in her tied-up top revealing her Victoria’s Secret bra.
“Woops! My bad”, I said with devilish delight.
She gave me a look that told me I was a naughty boy but that she approved.
“I’m sure that was just an accident.”
“Completely”, I whispered as I pulled one breast out from its constraint.
“Hi! Haven’t seen you in a while!”
“It was literally 30 minutes ago!”
“Was it?”
I proceeded to put her nipple in my mouth. It was erect.
Out of the blue, a voice yelled out, “TO THE GAME!!”
***
The Vikings try to stake their claim to the last Wild Card spot in the NFC tonight as they visit the likely top Wild Card team in the Pacific Northwest, the Seattle Seahawks.
A Seahawk victory will all but clinch the final Wild Card spot for them and will leave a big pack of rabid dogs chasing that last Wild Card spot.
Should the Vikings win…., well, we might as well talk about me having a threesome with Betty and Veronica from Riverdale.
Enjoy the game!
Getting home to tWLS’ house tonight was interesting because this happened right around the corner, and police had literally every street but one blocked off from traffic. Finally got home and signed on to find out the details. Stolen car, crashed big time, 18 yr old kid dead, 3 others critical in the hospital. Just pointless tragedy.
Why does the world have to suck so hard?
https://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2018/12/10/reisterstown-crash-teen-dead-others-injured/
Goddamn!
Yep.
And I have to admit, once I found out the details of what happened, I felt like a real jerk for bitching about the traffic issues which delayed us getting home.
I think Dwyane Wade is wearing a pair of wallabies on the court.
I’m ready for baseball. I really, really hope we don’t make the playoffs because that’s just another loss.
Fuck it I’m focusing on Oscar season! And the Bulls and the under.
Pay me again!
I see nothing of value was missed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBZK0qzDhPA
That game was horrible.
The Chargers are REALLY in this thing.
Wonderful things always seem to happen to Carroll at the Clink. He is a criminal scumbag.
Hope junior gets indicted tomorrow.
All the disconnected synapses are popping and fizzing. SAD is shit.
Let’s see what happens on Thursday. That will determine whether the Chargers are for real or just taking advantage of a weak AFC.
I found it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=6EmqsEHl3P8
They’ll be throwing fish around the streets of Seattle tonight, folks.
Lady BFC just asked me if the milk was still ok if the sell by date was 12/7. I said yes. So she brought it over to me. I said, ” what, do you want me to smell it?” Apparently the answer was yes. I did and told her it was still good. She just stood there looking at me. And only then did I realize she wanted me to sip it to make sure before she poured some for herself. True love, ladies and gentlemen.
If men are not Guinea pigs for women, then what the hell are we?
Sperm donors.
Same here, but I just chugged it in protest. Finished it. It was bad, but did I let on? No. Just spent the next workday on the toilet. WORTH IT.
Judith, celebrated during Hanukkah.
The Assyrians were invading the Near East, and the town of Bethulia was besieged by the cruel General Holofernes. If the town fell, the whole country would follow.
With the town stricken by famine, the Elders were going to surrender if they were not rescued within a few days. Judith, a young widow, told them to take responsibility for their community. She then, accompanied only by her maid, went to the enemy camp.
Holofernes was smitten, and invited her to a banquet. She got him very drunk, and when they were alone in his tent, she took the General’s sword and decapitated him.
With the enemy forces now thrown into confusion, she urged her people to launch a surprise attack. They were victorious. Judith’s courage saved her people.
Happy Hanukkah!
Looking just at the QBs’ stats, you’d never guess NanoBubbles would be the one with a 2 score lead.
72 passing yards? That’s Bollo-esque.
Yup, and he was 10/20 with 1 pick
that D/ST score could flip the result of the 3/6 playoff match in my money league. If Cook or Diggs scores
/nope, loses by 1 point (and some fraction)
https://www.shinesty.com/products/white-horse-boxer?utm_term=&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=g-au-shopping-nb-swim&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIq4m69_SW3wIVjq9kCh2vOQnOEAEYASABEgLDU_D_BwE
No need to shop further for Hippo.
Did Cousins fuck one of these announcers wives or daughters? They really seem to fucking despise him.
don’t make me sympathize with those chucklefucks
*cucklefucks.
Look at that vigil. They should bury that guy right there.
Well shit I was thinking having the Packers and Vikings coming up was going to be a challenge for the Bears but now lol
I think we all saw that coming.
Are we talking about the Hulkkakke again?
Not sure. After one quarter the rods in my eyes or something burned out and now I only see shades of gray. And the Seahawks are still too bright to stare at.
– Christy Canyon talking to Peter North
Yay
That’s a fitting conclusion.
Thr funny thing is that they called a foul and then took it back.
I maintain that he jumped and then used the backs of his teammates to guide his path to the other side.
That was absolutely 100% a penalty.
The ghost of Blair past is strong with this team.
What is a catch? What is a tackle?
That’s the NFL for you.
Kurt Warner is weirdly obsessed with the fact that bobby Wagner had help with leaping on the blocked field goal
The radio broadcasts are cool except for when they bring out Brady at halftime.
And in the pregame. It’s insane.
I love how Booger is all, “I TOLD YOU ASSHOLES I WAS RIGHT!”
Yeah, those three points would really make a difference
That’s the best part. He don’t care!
Well huh. There you go
DIRECTOR: Okay kid, when she hands you the money, look excited.
[priest knowingly nods head]
Tessatore’s ogling of Wilson’s better half is starting to get Musbergarian.
In his defense…she fine.
She only twisted her ankle a little, so yeah, she’s fine.
Well, he used his legs. That’s how that happened.
But why is he so fast? We go to the studio and Jimmy The Greek,…
Mr. Winkles is gonna spill some blood tomorrow.
I’M THE SOLE SURVIVOR
“Operation Time?” That might be the first time I’ve ever heard that term.
WUT??
YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP
PRETTY SNEAKY, SIS!
That inc*st porn weirds me out. All the same actors in every one.
You know, from everything I’ve heard, I may have to actually watch “Teen Titans Go! To the Movies”. (hangs head in shame)
Just don’t masturbate to it and you’ll be fine.
I think that is just too much of a limitation.
Hey, I’m may be a repressed, closeted, racist, bigot jerk, but I got standards
I’d just say don’t get any on the seats; that’s just rude.
I’m not convinced the hate on teen titans go isnt just the most absurd hate circlekjerk from a group of nerds in the history of nerdy cirlce jerks
Most hate campaigns against pop culture things are such.
Its because they wanted the show to come back but it came back like that.
Its like you guys what Obama to return to save the country as President, but he comes back in a variety TV show.
Honestly at this point I’d rather just miss the playoffs than sneak in and get totally obliterated by all the teams that actually deserve to be there.
I’m pretty sure he’s saying START
I take the safety here.
Yardage is more important than the -2
Is 6-2 a scorigami?
Nope. 6-1 would be, but that’s impossible in this game now. 6-4 would do it!
Okay, can someone finally please explain to me what the fuck a scorigami is?
A final score that has never happened before.
???? How do you know it’s never happened?
Cause some wobsite told us so.
That’s a really underwhelming answer. I thought it was because the score folded up into 666 or 69 or something, or you could factor it down into a prime number. Gosh.
https://nflscorigami.com/
Nerds have figured it out. There’s like a website with a table and everything.
This game would find a way.
Booger was right.
Nah, giving the other side the ball on own 1 is high-leverage anyway. You don’t make 1 yard in 3 tries, you ain’t winning regardless.
4 is ok tho
Whoo! Shutout!
Minny turnover in 3…2….1….
A turnover on downs is a kind of turnover!
Not exactly what I had in mind, but, same result.
I would totally buy that cat.
To put him down?
He’s always doing that.
“You stupid cat.”
“Your momma ain’t even a pussy.”
“You so neutered they call you Neville Chamberlain!”
etc., etc.
CmonSeattle, do that thing where you dont suck at life!
Now, an insurmountable lead.
Okay, now Seattle is just running up the score.
Wow. Referees have so much faith in receivers having a 15′ Vertical Jump.