JV New Year’s Eve Open Thread

So much not-that-bad-if-they-try action!

Virginia Tech (+5.5) v. JV Cincinnati, Military Industrial Complex Bowl (Annapolis, MD – Noon, ESPN)

I moneyline bet the Castrated Turkeys, as this is a de facto home contest, and they are fairly well-coached.  This will be at the half when this posts, so y’all may already be mocking this.

JV Pittsburgh (+4) v. Stanford, Sun God Ra Bowl (El Paso, TX – 2:00, CBS)

I guess we should also dedicate this to Beto O’Rourke?  Anyway, Pitt is utter shite (they gave U*NC their lone conference win), and Stanford tends to blow the fuck out lesser foes.  I bet this when Stanford was still -2.5, huzzah!

Michigan State (+1) v. Oregon, Karen Gillan’s Vagina Bowl (Santa Clara, CA – 3:00, Fox)

I knew as soon as I bet the Quackers that it was dumb to bet against Sparty.  But what’s done is done, and who knows, Oh-ray-GAWNE can still light up the scoreboard.  Enjoy this:

Oklahoma State (+9) v. Missouri, Weird Office Libertarian Bowl (Memphis, TN – 3:45, ESPN)

When I am this confused as to how high a line is, usually I stay away from it.  As with this.   Drew Lock is shite, but BDSM State is a frequent no-show side this season.

Northwestern (+7) v. Utah, Florida Gulf Coast University Bowl (San Diego, CA – 7:00, FS1)

Get it?  Could also insert a Spanoi joke here.  I love me some Team Secular Big Love, but that’s a lot of points to give against a side that typically keeps the score down.  But the Mildcats are the B1G version of Pitt, so…

NC State (+7.5) v. Texas A&M, Gator or Gator-Bait Bowl (Sacksonville, FL – 7:30, ESPN)

I also ML bet my Shitty Wolves, even though playing without budget-caliber Randy Moss, aka Kelvin Harmon.  Ryan Finley is still playing, with lots to prove.  Plus, Dave Doeren is soooooooo much better a coach than TAMU moneybags Jimbo Fisher.  Bet on coaches in JV exhibitions.  Here is my favourite version of my favourite wolven song:

 

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

…Remember this. Throughout the ages some things NEVER get better and NEVER change. You have Walls and you have Wheels. It was ALWAYS that way and it will ALWAYS be that way! Please explain to the Democrats that there can NEVER be a replacement for a good old fashioned WALL!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 1, 2019

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The President has hit the sauce early.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Damn right!!”

-André Maginot

JustStopDude

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