Check out the smashed-into-the-windshield-several-times visage of Blake Jarwin. The toothfull grin that indicates that the keys shaken by the photographer please him. The too-small, beady eyes that have no doubt silently observed more than one grandmother undressing at bedtime. The throat devoid of an Adam’s Apple. The sloughing forehead that indicates him thinking, “I hate that Mr. Purrsident Trump! He ain’t bombed a single Guata-mawcallit Caravan yet, like’n he promised!”. Why do I call attention to him? He’s got himself the ‘Questionable’ status after not practicing all week. He showed what a weapon he could be after scoring three TD’s vs. the Giants and the Evangelicals are a bit worried because you know how much they love their ‘Revelations’. [Snickers to self-also, Milky Way’s to self]
TO THE GAME!
Wr Cole Beasley is in the same boat injury-wise but as everyone’s cliche-dar goes off, yeah, he’s going to ‘gut it out’ like the hero puppy he is. “Gut it out” also just happens to be the title of my evisceration-centric autobiography.
Worrying Trend: In their last four games DAK!’s QBR rating has been 4th best in the league. Goff? Before the bye week he was ranked 4th-in the last 4 tilts he’s ranked 25th. Probably has something to do with Kupp’s ACL snapping and Josh Reynolds not doing nearly enough to fill the void despite single coverage.
Just Plain Silliness: The Cowboys D is being called The Hot Boyz? Way to embrace the homo-erotic undercurrent running thru your sport, fellas.
Rams Other Wideouts: They go by the name of Woods and Cooks. That’s also the name of the YouTube channel I head to when I want to watch animal-skinning vids.
Gentlemen, place your bets. You too, commentariat.
Ok dak you can vulture Zeke now
just hurry up and score a TD Dak
Talib had to take a stab at it
PUSH OFF, SON!
Thank God for my cast iron liver.
I should pick up drinking again. What could possibly go wrong?
That push out of the end zone is probably a penalty.
Great play by that linebacker
y’all fuckers just can’t finish
What the fuck was that catch attempt?
OPI judging from the look on Cooper’s face
Or, you know, not.
More like Bigton
MOVE IT DAK!
That was some shit option defense there.
cmon Big finish goddammit.
That’s really all I’m hoping for here. Make it interesting at the end.
If they run it up the middle I am going to fly to Dallas and murder Garrett as he steps off the plane.
OK then.
/cancels flight
I have hope….am also Catholic
(no personal offense Spur, I like the image if I’m being honest….but I gotta take it down…tWBS)
((sorry))
Whoa. I didn’t know those were allowed.
They’re not.
(I know)
wow, sorry…picked the wrong gif
no, don’t be sorry!
I disagree.
I’ll be the judge of thos…I mean that.
Not the wrong gif. Just the wrong text formatting.
In case it was lost to the winds of Incognito browsing.
h
ttps://i.pinimg.com/originals/4f/c6/d1/4fc6d12890886cbf6f31f190685c0236.gif
Timeouts are for losers, apparently
Whoa, that was a generous spot.
The Coliseum is the best looking stadium in the NFL. Opened in 1923.
Was that when the Christians were playing the Lions?
NO FUCKING HELMETS!
Does Jason Garrett survive to next season?
Give Chris the job, please.
He won’t survive supper
He’s getting an extension of all things.
He better not. They need to clear the entire coaching staff out, (HC and both coordinators), and get someone new in there. They will never get past this level with Garrett and Co. in charge.
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000001009789/article/cowboys-planning-extension-for-jason-garrett-after-season
Jesus Christ.
My only hope now is that Ian Rapoport is an idiot, which is not an unfounded hope.
I feel better that I wasn’t the only one who saw the obvious hold on Charlton.
Which would, of course, have completely negated Dak’s shitty play in the 1st half.
whole lot of holding on the replay. let’s see some calls for Dallas.
I really need to get around to watching Unbreakable. Split is the only other movie from this franchise, right?
I enjoyed Unbreakable and was unaware of Split until Glass promos came out
I was aware of it, but thought it was just a straight up serial killer with split personality. The trailers kind of fuck up any surprise.
Oh yeah, both movies are completely fucking spoiled by the trailer for Glass.
Yeah.
I really liked Unbreakable. It’s one of my favourites. It’s very slow though so a lot of people found it boring.
I heard a lot of the same for the new Blade Runner, but I really liked it.
The New Blade Runner was 45 minutes too long and needed 100% less Jared Leto
What doesn’t?
Unfortunately Glass hasn’t been getting great reviews.
I think they’ve answered the bell.
yeah well…….Fuck the PATS!
I’m reasonably confident that KC will do just that.
Joe Buck waiting until the Rams have doubled up the Cowboys with 7 minutes left in the game to tell us that McVay is a good coach.
Careful of that limb there, Joe, you’re out there pretty far.
/Hope it ends for Joe the same way ‘A Separate Peace’ does.
Deep cut of a shitty book.
Risky play works:
“Smart, good head coach.”
Risky play fails:
“Not a good call.”
Whoa
oh yes
She ain’t perfect, but she’s perfect.
Unlike Christina Hendricks, Vica Kerekes actually shows off the goods.
/Frantically googles “Vica Kerekes”
You’re going to want to use Bing for that.
She is absolutely stunning.
That guy eye fucking her because he knows that’s as close as he’ll ever get.
Pretty sure that’s what we’re all doing here.
Predictions for NFC CHampionship regardless of tomorrow’s winner:
CHONKDOWN 2!
come on Dallas die fighting. Score right away.
/Dak throws pick-six
//other Dak is shot by Imperial Walker
My nephew in law is a ‘Boys fan. I think I need to call him.
Hell yeah. Mocking Cowboys fans is awesome. Gonna call my nephew shortly.
“Mom…Uncle SonOfSpam is drunk again”
Mr. Anderson weaving through the Matrix.
Is he praying or eating?
Eating, praying, maybe loving?
That’s sounds like the worst Journey reunion ever.
‘Siri, find curling coverage for me.”
FATDOWN 2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Playing for the MFing win. Atta boy.
They Rammed it
Game.
Shoulda taken the delay penalty, kicked the FG, and gone up two scores.
I think they’re happier with this outcome.
Absolutely.
Or given it to Anderson on 4th and goal from the 1.
Chickenshit cockgobblers.
wasted timeouts may come back to haunt the Rammit’s
or not.
What’s the point there? If they jump offsides you’re still at the 1 with 4th down.
Again, if Troy thinks it’s a bad idea, it’s the right call
Ballsy by the bomber.
Nope never mind!
You guys all talking about what you’re imbibing makes me melancholy. Thank goodness for the weed.
She seems nice.
Hey, kids! IT’S LAETITIA CASTA!
How many hookers will Ol’DubbleJ kill and dump from his private jet on the way back to Texas tonight?
All of them?
ALL THE HOOKERS
Fewer than Craig James.
Gonna say like seven to twelve.
in LA it is spelled aspiring actresses
Not when they’re dead
Money drive by LA
give it to Gurley!
/keep that fatass off the field.
Microsoft Theater?
Didn’t it used to be the Nokia, or is that a different venue?