Celebrity Super Bowl Picks: Tomi Lahren

Many news organizations and pop culture websites report Super Bowl picks from today’s hottest celebrities. Here at DoorFliesOpen, we decided to request picks from horrible people instead. Hatemongering attention whore Timmi Latrine answered the call and submitted this poorly-worded screed for our amusement. This is entirely unedited and in her own words. Or not. YOU DECIDE.

This will be a Shock to limpristed liberals, but I just found out the Super Bowl is going to be played this weekend. All the SNOWFLAKES in the Liberal Media don’t talk about the game, because there so TRIGGERED by Patriots, which is just a word to honor Good Americans, like how we say Spanish to refer to Good Mexicans. Alot of people say to me “Hey Tami, why should anyone watch the game?” and I’m glad for the question because we can talk about REAL ISSUES.

The Super Bowl is played in Atlanta every year because of Tradition, like how they honor Heros from the Civil War with statues. The Liberal Indoctornaters at colleges always try to ERASE HISTORY by taking down the heros statues, but Real America stands Strong and makes sure we Learn history by keeping statues in parks and street corners. As a result, Atlanta get’s chosen for the Super Bowl.

Also, the Patriots have Tom Brady, and he has proved his TRUE COLORS by having a MAGA hat in his dressing room cubby. He’s not afraid to Embrace the Things that america stands for! And his wife is hot and there for a Good emigrant! All the beta cucks out their could take a lesson on How to Be a Man from brady! Plus he loves his children that live with him and isn’t Afraid to show it, however long it takes.

Alot of people say to me Hey Tammi, why don’t we have a wall along are southern Boarder yet? Well, and this has nothing to do with football so I’ll keep it to just a few words in stead of alot of words, the President Has been playing Chest instead of Checkers. In just 3 weeks, or about 30 days, He will announce an even Bigger wall then you thought, payed for completely by the money we will save from Mexicans not eating our School lunches. And Miss Pullosi can just go along or get Impeached. Then we all get to see just how Safe we all are when no one is rapeing us from Over the Boarder.

Finally, lastly in conclusion, I want too address the Elephant in the room. A user of Twitter called me a “vapid cunt” and I was hoping to clear this up. I have NEVER EVER one tried any replacement smoke products, vaping or not. So once again, the Fake News Media gets a Detail wrong about a Right-Thinking woman of sprayed on color. And If speaking my mind makes me a Strong Cunt, then tell the World I AM PROUDLY A CUNT.

The Patriots and Tom Brady and God and Trump will win the Super bowl by at least 5 furlongs. MAGA!

SonOfSpam has often derided other cultures, mainly yogurt. His work has often been described as "not there" and "imaginary." He currently lives with several other people, at least until they find out.
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BrettFavresColonoscopyViva La Tabula RazaCuntlerLow Commander of the Super Soldierswalkingthedog Recent comment authors
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This is so believable that it’s eerie.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, Tom Lehrer has totally lost his shit.


Needs more elipisis’s … and Keapernick bashing IMO… pple forget that lol rofl… …



GO PAT’s!1! Bill Bilerchik .. is #1 fottball coach and heel make america grate again!!1

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Plus he loves his children that live with him and isn’t Afraid to show it, however long it takes.

+1 forced kiss on the lips


Tomi and Tommy from Quinzee is the couple that should livestream the Superb Owl from the Pats side.

King Hippo

/standing ovation


This implies that she read something before writing, which we all know isn’t true.


I refuse to believe Tammy could ever write something this coherent.


I gotta admit, Terri Laundromat makes some pretty good points.