2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament: First Round, Day 7

Senor Weaselo
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The GAMBLOR Region ends its first round and it has been an adventure. You’ll see what I mean in a couple days when the region results post. Also if you haven’t seen it, It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World is a fantastic, bonkers, and fantastically bonkers movie. Rat Race which is basically a remake isn’t bad, and I actually saw it first, but this is absolutely an insane movie if you haven’t seen it. And yes, it doesn’t have to be all “songs with dance” in this, this isn’t Request Line.

Off to today’s polls!

First Round, GAMBLOR Region

  • 7. “This Hull defense, I call them Mia Khalifa because they are letting lots of men in their backdoor to score.” (66%, 25 Votes)
  • 10. “I haven’t seen an Alonso destroy a Cassel like that since the [C]atholics reconquered Spain from the Moors.” (34%, 13 Votes)

Total Voters: 38

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First Round, GAMBLOR Region

  • 2. “‘…the calming effect Tony[ ]Dungy had on the high-strung quarterback.’—If only he had that calming effect on his high strung son.” (87%, 33 Votes)
  • 15. “I was going to ask what’s wrong with Vikings fans, but they’re Vikings fans. It’s self-explanatory.” (13%, 5 Votes)

Total Voters: 38

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All this and after today we’re halfway done… with the first round. Which, by how math goes, means we’re slightly over a quarter of the way done with the entire tournament. We’ll basically be a round in by the time the actual March Madness starts! And meanwhile St. John’s is finding new and innovative ways to fuck away sweeping Marquette and splitting with Villanova by getting swept by DePaul and Providence, and now trying to avoid getting swept by Xavier! Isn’t that great?

Yeah, maybe I’ll complain about that some other time. Meanwhile my undergrad men’s team was fourth in their conference (D-III), while my grad men’s team finished 7th (D-II) and missed their conference tournament altogether. (The women’s teams did not fare better, which sucks since a couple years ago the grad school women’s team made the D-II Flacco Eight.)

So in addition to today’s polls, this has been your nobody cares tri-state JV hoops footy update! See you tomorrow with… not that.

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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It speaks volumes to the combination of intelligence and depravity of DFO that the first poll is a joke about a porn star’s gaping asshole vs. a deep cut simile citing the Spanish Reconquista.


A seven day round one? What is this, the Benghazi hearings?!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers



This, but unironically.


I forgot to ask–at the very end, will we get to see the bracket with all the authors?


Too bad we couldn’t have the Alonso and Castle joke for Ash Wednesday. That would have made the Catholic contingent feel very guilty and right at home.


Instead of fielding athletic teams, colleges in Div III or II should field amateur porn teams. Imagine how well those Northeast liberal arts colleges would do in the lesbian categories!


I’d volunteer to judge that.

Horatio Cornblower

St. Joseph’s would finally bring glory (holes) back to West Hartford!

Or, uh, so I’ve been told.



Would Ithaca College be banned for using performance enhancing substances?



One of my best friends from HS went to Ithaca. Another went to Cornell. They both flunked out in under a year. I guess now I know why.


My mom teaches at Ithaca!


I’d love to take THATclass.

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Artist’s Conception….?
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King Hippo

the “Seven Sisters” would be like the SEC West, PAAAAAWWWWWWL


Balls, this is a brilliant idea. At least get us a sub genre for our searches.