Slim Pickins Lesser Footy Open Thread

Welcome back, though the FA Cup semis (nae exactly raging, MOAR LIEK a quarter-chubb, just enough to make you glad you wore jeans).

As such, ALL the Prem action on Saturday is in the 10:00 window (Daylight Savings Times are back in alignment).  Palace and Newcastle are the featured match (NBCSN), while you get the similarly meh Leicester/Huddersfield (ded) and Cherries/Burnley (could still die) on NBC Gold.  Anyway, the Cherries often play entertaining matches.  Give it a spin.

Sunday Funday only has one offering, but it is quality.  Suddenly flying Everton host the up-and-down Arsenal crew (9:00, NBCSN).  You could say it is a Hippo/Horatio Derby of sorts, which will have to do until #BFIB face the Bombers in the World Series.  Yeah, I am semi-predicting this, wanna fight about it?  Anyway, this should be a highly entertaining match, something I wouldn’t have said a month ago.  Confidence is a fickle thing in sport, but the Toffees have it, Goodison is finally roaring more than moaning…but the Gooners also need this in the crowded race for Champions League spots.  Yes, deffo worth setting one’s alarm.

As to the FA Cup, it is perhaps the easiest leg of Man City’s desired quadruple (League Cup already done and dusted).  Hopefully, stupid fucking Saints will take a point off the Shite Friday night, and make leg 3 an easier road.  City take on Brighton & Hove at 12:30 on Saturday (ESPN+), and I expect to see the Mancs locked and loaded.  No upset bet potential, I’m afraid.  Wolves and Moose Hornets are the Sunday offering (11:00, ESPN+), and that’s an absolute coinflip.  Should be fun.

Unless the Mancs win out in FA Cup play, the race for 7th is irrelevant.  The Cup winner would take the final Europa place, leaving no more room at the inn.  Not really sure such an early start of the season would really favour Wolves or Everton (the most likely 7th finishers), but it’s still a goal for the players.

Elsewhere in Europe, Juve draw AC Milan as Saturday’ best (11:50, ESPN+), and Inter v. Atalanta (I hear yew callllllin’) also seems pretty interesting in Serie A (11:55 Sun, ESPN News).  Our Young Boys try to swallow up Thun at Wankdorf (10:00 Sun) though one can only guess at their motivation.

Wait, that leaves out an absolutely titanic Nazi clash, with 1st position Borussia Dortmund visiting 2nd place Bayern (12:30, Fox).  That’s right, a rare Big Fox sighting, with the winner almost surely winning the Bundesliga.  Don’t miss it.

Lastly, Barca host Atleti, in a powerhouse La Liga clash (2:30, BeIn).  I will let my more knowledgeable Lesser Footy brethren weigh in on that one.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

New thread is open and ready for busy-ness!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

I have to figure out how to keep the kids distracted while I watch the Final Four in the bedroom. Wifey and her sister went to a concert, so I’m solo tonight.

HELLO BOURBON

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Have some mayo with it!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Sponsored by Big Mayo.

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THANKS!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Inside the Chieftain’s Hatch

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“I’m a little bit racist, I’m a little bit bitey.”

-The Donny and Marie Show’s intro song in one of Rick’s universes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

White Mormons racist? GTFO!

*Non-white mormons are unicorns.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, but volume wise; a small portion. Also Samoans do not do well in Utah unless they play football.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Girls are shooting from beyond the 3 point line at the State Farm Championships! How are the later-round winners going to jack off their boyfriends tonight if their arms are sore? This is a perfect example of white men in power not thinking things all the way through. smgdh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Hey! Reds are scoring runs again!

scotchnaut

Preview to one of tonight’s games-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X62ulMaJRg

Gratliff

Mania weekend continues unimpeded
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Redshirt

I’m debating turning my WWE Network account back on to watch it. I want to watch Kofi and Becky win, but I’m afraid I’ll be validating this years horribly shitting WM-build.

Gratliff

I subscribed to three different streaming services for exactly one month because this is the closest approximation of a sports weekend that I have between the Flyers being eliminated and September.

Gratliff

Also, last night’s Takeover may have been the best NXT show they’ve ever put on. Just insanely good everything. There should be a way to identify it as the only reason you’re subbing in the first place

Gratliff

Just made the mistake of searching that hashtag for more gifs and sweet baby jesus fuck the Q zombies are terrifying

Redshirt

The grill is on! I repeat: the backyard grill is on! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

yeah right

Whatcha gonna grill?

Redshirt

Hamburgers and Turkeyburgers.

scotchnaut

Tater Tots or Fries on the side?

/giggles maniacally

litre_cola

I really wish turkeys would just be themselves instead of trying to be burgers and bacon.

scotchnaut

The grill is not a drill? In what way?

scotchnaut

Went for what ended up to be a 9k run this morning. Right now I’m not sure whether my left knee is arthritic or just ‘fuck this jogging shit-ritic’.

scotchnaut

mirror spirit animals…

Redshirt

I’m the opposite. My knees are fine, but my body has no core strength or running endurance. I run for about 1/2 mile and then my body just goes “Nope! I’m done!”

scotchnaut

If I’m not mistaken, you’ve just started, right?

Redshirt

Started after a decent layaway. Had a rather nasty case of plantar fasciitis that keep me off the track and on the coach for a season or two. Before that and 20 pounds ago, I could jog a 5K in about 35-40 minutes. Not great, but something.

scotchnaut

I played basketball all thru high school and beyond but when I first started running to get back into shape (mid-30’s) it was fucking hell until someone told me to focus on breathing rather than the running. It all came together after that.

Redshirt

For me its my running pace. I’m trying to go too hard too fast. Its like I’m trying to learn how to drive stick, but I’m trying to shift from 1st to 4th.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sooooo….when UVa and Texas Tech both win later tonight, and I win the DFO Bracket Pool….what’s my prize?
Just not getting my ass kicked by everyone? I can live with that.

litre_cola

I read that as licked.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We can negotiate.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ok, boys, the real game has started. I trust everyone is watching Barça-Atleti…

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s the freaking Padres, man.
(no offense, LCSS)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Here have a duck. I sneaked up on this lazy shithead yesterday in my back yard. I wish I’d gotten a shot of his “Oh Shit!!!!!!!!!!” reaction when he woke up and took off. It was humourus.
Well, he might not agree with that, but I thought it was.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t you hate it when your phone autocorrects to duck?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I actually have a story about that, but I shouldn’t tell it.
Yeah, I shouldn’t tell it. Meh fuck it….

About two and a half years ago, someone who you may or may not know….

Told me by text msg, she wanted me to stick my duck in her pussy.

I laughed for like a month.

Autocorrect is the bestest.

scotchnaut

“Mmmmm. I love duck breast so much!”

-excerpt from the recent bio, “Kenneth Pinyan, The Early Years”

scotchnaut

That cross by The Broom was exceptional. Wow!

scotchnaut

You should hit him up for some betting advice. Because he knows all the angles! Get it?

/I killed in The Catskills back in the 50’s, I tells ya!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m watching lacrosse….(18)Rutgers @ Johns Hopkins.
Rutgers is 6-4 and ranked #18?
How fucking shitty is lacrosse?

Hopkins up 2-0 btw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

True story Bro….my HS won the state title my senior year.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, there are literally dozens of fans in attendance.
They all look bored.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Welp, I just spent 2 hours walking around a shitty piece of land for sale in Rural Orange Co. NC for no good reason.
But I did stop at the booze store on the way home so at least there’s that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As I pulled up in the driveway after work yesterday it was 69 degrees. I instinctively yelled “NIIIIIIIIICE!”

Got a bit of an odd look from the neighbor who already knows I’m a bit off the cake.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…so you’re saying that Steve Bannon is a fan?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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DOWNLOAD HOT GILF ACTION FREE!!

Horatio Cornblower

Just went to the Jamaican place in Willimantic to get lunch. Standing in line while the woman behind me, also Jamaican, comments in what is most certainly not a whisper that the prices are high. Then her mid-teens daughter comes in and starts the same commentary.

I got my patties and fried chicken and got the fuck outta Dodge.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Theeese is waugh cheeeeper in Jaumacauh, mon.”

*racist

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Horatio attempting to start a conversation while waiting in line (artist’s conception):
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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If she just read Sunday Gravy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

4 nil to Bayern. Jeesus they have an actual challenge for the title and are putting their jack boot on the Dortmund throat.

litre_cola

Just looked it up and Mrs Cola looked at the score and stated “Bet you this isn’t how they saw this going”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Pure class on das gol.

scotchnaut

Okay-I think I just saw this in black and white. Ereck Flowers, the guy that was cut by the Giants and released by the Jaguars, was signed to a [takes deep breath] four million dollar one year contract by the Potato Skins? How is that front office-ably possible?

scotchnaut

Brighton Hove & Albion calling themselves the Ducks these days?

scotchnaut

Anna Merkel’s first election win?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was gonna say Webster Slaughter’s family vacation to Munich, but yours works too.

scotchnaut

Dang! Just missed it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

I’ma few beers in but I’ll give it a shot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If they go to hard Brexit does it all become grey?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, except for Farnborough.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This dish is for drunk and/ or stoned as hell people.

litre_cola

Reporting for duty sir.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, but take that clear jelly stuff of before you microwave it.

yeah right

Not featured on Sunday Gravy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Wish I’d thought of that.” – David Carradine

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

yeah right

Seriously what the fuck with these guys? We started out playing fierce and now we can’t beat fucking Burnley?
Probably lose to fucking Brighton next week for fucks sake.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dry-bummed is what Jim Tomsula calls it when he manages to take refuge in a boxcar during a thunderstorm.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You see because the O-face is angry.

Gratliff

Currently like 15 hours of wresting to catch up on today, which will probably double by the end of the night. Mania week is so good, you guys.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s certainly better than Depression week, I’ll give you that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Yeah, let’s do something that makes us feel good.

litre_cola

At least there is Barca Athleti today

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
litre_cola

There is some good travel shows of people that went there.

Gratliff

Well good news, thanks to the civil war between the people who want to go back to being Soviets and the people who want to go back to being Nazis, there’s a thriving, practically glowing community of Ukrainians currently rebuilding their lives in Chernobyl.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But enough about BrittFarr’s junk…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like time travel would wake people up to the fact that the past was always worse than the present. Even during so-called “golden ages” people were still washing their clothes in piss.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In general perhaps, but it depends on who and where you are at.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That assumes your socioeconomic status stays the same. Of course it could be nice to go from, say, having to give Robert Kraft handjobs to make ends meet to being a king’s concubine or something.