Your “WOOOOOO! GAME 7!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Two days until the Draft.

  • The Seahawks, as predicted once they signed Russell to all that money, have traded Frank Clark.
    • To the Chiefs, for a 2019 First round pick, a swap of 2019 Thirds, and a 2020 Second. 
      • For the Chiefs, I guess they saw their window closing, and seemingly overpaying means Andy Reid thought it was the drive-thru window.
      • For the Seahawks, given that they had only four picks this year, it seems like a pretty good deal for a guy they could no longer afford.
    • Clark then signed a five-year, $105 million contract, with $63 million guaranteed.
      • On his way out the door, he took a few shots at an organization that drafted him despite his reputation for taking shots at women.
        • “Seattle had used me for everything I had for them already.”
        • “When you’re playing in Seattle it’s not common that they plan to have players around for the long run. It’s obvious.”
        • “I wanted to be somewhere where I’m wanted, where I’m appreciated.”
      • Or, to put it another way,

  • The reason for the trade, Russell Wilson, spent today gifting his offensive linemen Amazon stock.
    • Thirteen linemen X $12,000 in shares = $156,000.
      • In comparison, he makes $17 million this year, and another $140 million through 2023.
    • Proving he’s either a nice guy or always on-brand, he followed that up by saying:
      • “You sacrifice your physical and mental well-being to protect me, which in turn allows me to provide and care for my family. This does not go unnoticed and it is never forgotten. You have invested in my life, [so] this is my investment into yours.”
  • Robbie Gould wants the fuck out of San Francisco.
    • He has all-but demanded a trade, and is now threatening to not report to training camp.
      • His wife & family stayed in Chicago after he was cut in 2016, while he played for the Giants (2016) and the Niners (2017-18)
    • He was franchise tagged for 2019, at $4.971 million.
  • Jonathan Stewart signed a one-day contract to retire as a member of the Panthers.
    • He played 11 seasons – 10 with the Panthers & last year (mostly on IR) with the Giants.
    • He retires the Panthers all-time leader with 7,318 rushing yards and 51 touchdowns.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: GAME 7 BAY-BAY  
    • Maple Leafs at Bruins – 7:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
    • Golden Knights at Sharks – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Magic at Raptors – 7:00PM | TSN / NBATV
    • Nets at 76ers – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Spurs at Nuggets – 9:30PM | TSN5 / NBATV
    • Thunder at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Giants at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
      • Kevin Pillar’s return after his trade to the Giants.
    • Dodgers at Cubs – 8:05PM | MLBN
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

We’re thiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to actual NFL content. Mr. Scott?

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, I picked the wrong night to skip sports and watch a new Korean show.

Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Bully!

Dunstan

So, we’re all staying up for the big Lacrosse draft tonight, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

Hey, there’s a lot of intrigue. Do you draft by position if you’re weak at the rapist position, or just take the biggest douche available?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Chiefs will trade for their abusers if they are not available at 30, pal!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, sorry….. I crossed sport abusers.

Unsurprised

Wealthiest goes first, followed by whitest on the WASP phrenology charts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Ugh. Mondays.

WCS

Whheeeewwww.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I saw “Gamer Gummies” at 7-Eleven which advertise being “energy-drink flavored.” I don’t know if I should be relieved or annoyed they just taste like less flavorful gummy whatevers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

GODDAMN DAME!

Go ahead and hurt ’em.

GODDAMN!

Senor Weaselo

Somehow Russell Westbrook is even angrier as a result.

yeah right

That was a hell of a shot and a hell of a game.

yeah right

Follow up with sounds of angry fracking over the greater Oklahoma viewing audience.

Unsurprised

They should frack Oklahomans.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Right in the furry nuts.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The Padres win. That’s good!
They beat the Mariners. That’s bad.
The Mariners are in first place. That’s good!
…..you have to go to work tomorrow. That’s bad.

yeah right

Planning a boots on the ground Seattle style in August.

Sign up now!

Seats are going fast!

Unsurprised

I could probably drive up for that.

WCS

I’m going to be such a fun professor tomorrow/today. Early classes, I’ll still be mostly drunk, so I’ll be fun and entertaining. Afternoon, the hangover kicks in, so I’ll just put on a movie for them to watch and write a report about.

/begins looking at videos that are relevant to this week’s topic, fracking
//finds Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s, “The Gang Hits the Slopes.”
///Me: Close enough
////drinks more, watches more hockey

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I would take a DFOU course taught by Professor WCS. The degree would be worth at least as much as one from University of Phoenix.

Unsurprised

You can always have a liquid lunch to prevent the hangover.

WCS

Everyone tells me they I don’t act different when I’m drinking gin…
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Haha! Eat shit Clay Bennett!

WCS

All this does is reaffirm my utter loathing for online FPS gaming.

WCS

Regardless of how this game ends, it will still be the 17th highlight reel shown on SportsCenter, behind ten NBA playoff blowouts, four segments about the NFL Draft (two of which will be about the Cowboys), and three on baseball. Even then, it will be about 15 seconds long.

Mr. Ayo

They got #5 and #2 on the top 10. But otherwise were largely ignored.

Dunstan

STOP THE INSANITY!

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo

Oh, I got another one.

THIS JOE PAVELSKI I CALL HIM ADAM BANKS BECAUSE HIS TEAM WAS SUCKING UNTIL HE GOT HIT AND THEN THEY SCORED A BUNCH OF GOALS.

Mr. Ayo

C’mon Free Hockey!

Mr. Ayo

Someone needs to go punch Pavelski in the face during this intermission for good luck.

Senor Weaselo

I haven’t seen a game turn on a dime like this since every game of Mario Party ever. Or Monopoly. Or Risk when trading in all your cards.

WCS

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WCS

BANANACAKES ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

Mr. Ayo

YOU GET A GOAL, YOU GET A GOAL, YOU GET A GOAL!