So, against my better judgement, I tied one on last night after the family left. After all, I was already part-way there, so why not finish the job right?
A good time? Of course. Worth it? Debatable. At least there are no visible bruises or scars, and to the best of my knowledge no reputations were further maligned. But boy, was I shaky whilst taking stock & trying to brush my teeth.
It’s been about a decade since I tied one on to the point that people considered an intervention.
Of course, I answer to a woman who is used to this occasional behaviour, and since I wasn’t going on about life or ex-girlfriends, she seemed quite willing to leave me on the couch.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- no game scheduled; Gary Butthole though a 3:00PM start was a better idea
- NBA:
- 76ers at Raptors – 7:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet
- MLB:
- Brewers at Cubs – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- MLS Soccer:
- D.C. United vs. Sporting KC – 7:00PM | FS1 / TSN2
- NCAA:
- College Lacrosse: Johns Hopkins at Notre Dame – 8:00PM | ESPNU
I’m totally doing it again,
just not anytime soon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpmDAu_47OE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxwZcOMcaIc
All you people talking about fleshlights made me question my spelling. But then I realized that it’s all your fault.
/googles fleshlight
WTF IS THAT THING???? Oh wait.
//totally does not place order as far as you know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRxbaxYqRwc
Yeah, well Farmers did see this one.
So close
2 rooms harbor view. Fixer upper. Some slight dragon damage. Willing to negotiate.
Prime King’s Landing neighborhood.
Near schools.
Ample parking.
Food: Eat original bacon-inspired dishes from local greats like Wynkoop Brewing Company, Tap Fourteen Uptown, Steuben’s, Flying Pig Bacon Co., Burnt End BBQ, and, Tilford’s Wood Fired Pizza.
Brews: Drink over 100 craft beers from breweries such as Odell Brewing Co., Twisted Pine Brewing Co., Holidaily Brewing Co., Crazy Mountain Brewery, and Strange Craft.
That’s right; it’s the Denver Bacon and Beer Classic
All you need in one stop.
What in the hell did I just watch?
Is it possible to love a show and hate every character on it?
Yes
I want to say … every series I’ve watched since moving here? So Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Archer, The Americans, GoT, Westworld, Counterpart, The Leftovers, American Gods, Taboo, Brockmire, True Detective, uh …
It’s easy to just say the only characters I don’t hate are Richard Splett from Veep, Mary Berry from The Great British Baking Show, and oddly enough, almost everyone on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I don’t really watch much TV. I also haven’t watched Barry since I’m waiting to binge it after season 2 ends in two weeks.
More people are killed annually by vending machines than by wolves
MANY more.
Is that a threat?
I’m dead.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Are all y’all motherfuckers tucked in early with aforementioned mothers tonight?
I’m just now d/l tonight’s GoT while playing NHL 19 on Xbox. I will add to these spoilers/opinions when I get done watching it.
I’m here. I’m just boring.
I was hoping for “Sic balls!” but this is also great.
What’s this about God’s Fleshlight?
I said the same and just figured we switched to sponsored #content like adam and eve dot com
Yeah, I saw and tipped my Fleshlight to you
What came out of i……. never mind.
Even Jim Morrison was a fan of the Shockers!
TRIPLE TRIPLE TRIPLE!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAK5blgfKWM
SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvSKrgZTiOk
FIRED FIRED FIRED!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBX0XuDLEIs
Automatic +1 for any and all Doors references.
I started writing that email I mentioned in Sunday Gravy. It is super long and now I’m trying to edit it down into something coherent.
It’s five pages, 2,900 words, long. I wasn’t even done. I just put it away for GoT. I am wordy.
Oh, the weirdest part is that this is a positive email. I’ve just been in a real funk whenever I sit down to write it because I’m weird.
2900 words is Sunday Gravy appropriate.
In this case, it’s at least 2,000 words too long.
Honest to God, you have to be inhuman trash to be on the same side of any argument as John Bolton and Elliot Motherfucking Abrams. They are demons.
Absolutely vicious fight on FS1 right now if you like boxing.
And if you don’t like boxing, it’s still on.
Cracked open another beer and I am going full in on Games of Throne twitter.
My client meeting tomorrow morning is going to be hellacious.
Lame-ass basics
Drinking this, if’n you care.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Holy fuck.
Chip off the old block that Dany is.
This needs more plus ones.
Agreed. Very well-played.
I read that headline as “God’s Fleshlight” and was afraid to read tonight’s post because that really was not a good way to refer to the “Virgin” Mary.
Guess I was late to the cockparty
Holy shit. I’m not sure how GoT can get any worse this season, but I am sure as shit tuning in next week to find out!
Ned Stark comes back with a scar on his neck and complaining about a headache? Sure, what the hell!
Dany realizes the error of her ways and hangs herself? I mean, they ripped off the bit in the Bible about the pale horse, so why not the Aaron Hernandez biography while they’re at it?
Dany is visited by three ghosts, all of whom are Joran Mormont begging her to let him out of the past, present, and future friend zones? I am all in at this point fuckers; do your absolute worst.
Jon puts together an army of wererabbits who can multiply faster than the Dothraki apparently did after all but 7 of them disappeared in that charge into the army of the undead? FUCKING GO FOR IT YOU ASSHOLES!!!!
It’s like the Trump of tv show seasons. There’s no depth of insanity you can come up with that also doesn’t seem very likely to happen.
Let the hate flow through you.
Nice use of the Trial theme from season 6 finale
45 minutes of war criming seems excessive
“You fucking pansy.”
— Dick Cheney
Ain’t no spot for you in the Bolton advisory circle.
If anyone thinks there’s no physicality in today’s NBA, they should watch Game 7 between the hardcourt Argos and Hardcourt Eagles. I haven’t seen that many fouls not get called since the famous Looney Tunes/Mon-Stars game back in ’96.
/1980’s Big East knocks player into next state and stares off into the distance looking innocent.
Thank Cthulhu the Raptors won – now the Toronto sports media have another week worth of Toronto sports story to lead with.
Better that than constant Tavares injury updates as the head story or speculation of Erik Karlsson signing with the Leafs
C L E G A N E B O W L
The Qyburn scene made me laugh like a maniac though.
Is it Game Of Thrones time yet?
Is that dragon o’clock or killin time?
KILLIN’ TIIIIIME
Fuck core character traits, amirite
“My nephew won’t fuck me so I’mma kill thousands of innocents with fire to get off, I guess.”
Perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy.
Between Kawhi Leonard and dragonfire, I’m not sure there’s ever been a more dramatic Sunday.
So… that was a finish…
— Mr. Hands
Unfuckingbelievable.
Now balanced from the double doink missed FG
Seriously, I guess DOINK was bored during the NFL offseason.
Bolts are out, remember he’s a big Stamkos fan?
As all things must be.
Just saw this.
QUADRUPLE HAPPY DOINK
Looking like this week’s worth of “Here’s what sucked about this episode of GoT” posts will be even better than last weeks.
I have no strong opinion about GoT and no interest in watching the show, but I’m rooting for a terrible finale just to see the takes.
There were some leaks a while back which outlined the rest the season, and they are hilariously bad. And now it seems like they are all coming true. Soap operas have more coherent and believable plots. Spanish soap operas that you only watch through subtitles which have been translated through 14 other languages to get to english.
I’m pretty sure D&D wrote this season to fuck with HBO, the fans, and the world
Yeah, I think when HBO told them they were pulling the plug D&D made a suicide pact with the devil to come up with the worst ever ending for a series.
The Toronto Kawhi Leonards pull it off
ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball broadcasts are terrible because its producer assume everyone watching thinks baseball is boring and insists upon packing the broadcast with bullshit to compensate.
All the “let’s be serious for a moment about Venezuela” segment was awful and despite being overtly political won’t be considered as such by the masses of “buhhh I don’t wanna have politics in muh sports” crowd because it catered to every preconception they hold.
Wait what’s wrong with Fernando?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQsjAbZDx-4
Folks, Fernando is good and ESPN agrees
I am not well-informed about Venezuela. Is there actually any faction worth rooting for?
Yes, the people.
Well what have the people ever done for ‘Murica?
Well, they gave us former Cincinnati Reds Co-Captain Dave Concepcionm
Like any aspect of international politics, it’s complicated but whatever the American take is isn’t the whole story and you’ll be hard pressed to find anything else on any major news outlets to refute it.
Depends. Are you a fan of hyperinflation or a fan of oil?
Trick Question! Those are both the same side! I think!
I LOVE OIL
Flores said.
About a guy arrested three (3) times just this year. The NFL continues to deliver.
That, by math, is more than one or two!
Kawhi Leonard is the only reason this series didn’t end in 4 games
I am rooting for Philadelphia to win, because it will be funny to see the Raptors flame out of the playoffs yet again. It would also be funny if the 76ers were then swept by the Bucks, who were in turn swept by the Warriors.
“All right, time for the second half.”
a.) me, getting ready to watch 76ers-Raptors.
b.) Andy Reid, thirty seconds after his pizza has arrived.
You mean after his second pizza arrived.
I got that brunch with Hitler, I can’t miss that.
Age is a bitch. The more I really need booze to cloud my problems up, the more it hurts to even get a buzz.
I’m trying to be all “silver linings” about it and find other ways to deal with said problems.
Pot. It’s going to be pot.
If I’ve managed to cut myself off from the outside world for about a week, pot is great. If not, some less-than-pleasant thoughts always seem to creep up on me if I get too high.
That would be a Jesburger.
Hope every mother in the Commentistry and (mothers and wifes thereof) has had a great Mother’s Day. Thanks for putting up with us.
Larry Miller’s routine is one of the best ever.