Bow down to your new goddess, and new Democratic frontrunner for the nomination.
Well, that was a fair result for the Americans. Even as a Canadian who wanted them to lose, you couldn’t deny that the US team was a buzzsaw. Now all that awaits is Dekker from the Dutch team complaining that the tournament officials are corrupt & that the whole thing is rigged for the Americans.
In case you didn’t see it, Bleacher Report tweeted (since deleted) a picture of them attempting to place the women’s team among the pantheon of American icons.
It’s immediately terrible because there’s no Dream Team, but there is Iron Man. Also, it only includes 2/3 of the actual women’s team, and of the 50 people included behind them more than half are men and/or fictional.
NICE JORB!
Tonight’s sports:
- Fútbol:
- MLS Soccer:
- New York City FC vs. Portland Timbers – 6:30PM | FS1
- CONCACAF Gold Cup Soccer 2019:
- Mexico vs. U.S. – 9:00PM | FS1 / UNI / TSN
- MLS Soccer:
- NBA Summer League Basketball:
- Cavaliers vs. Bulls – 7:30PM | ESPN
- Suns vs. Knicks – 9:30PM | ESPN
- Grizzlies vs. Clippers – 11:30PM | TSN2
- Calgary Stampede:
- Rangeland Derby – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
OH GOD! We’re at that point in the summer when there isn’t even baseball on evening TV. Help us football – you’re our only hope!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwdCrJ2brJA
Why is the banner photo a picture of David Bowie?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f16Fw_K45s
I slept all day and I have to work all night in my home studio (for a Netflix show about drag queens) but you know what I’m gonna do first? I’m bringing a New York strip steak up to room temperature and then I’m going to sear it in my 1920 Griswold 9-inch cast iron skillet (that’s old iron, composed mainly of hematite ore) and then finish it in a 425°F oven. Then I’ll remove it and tent it; while it’s resting, I’ll fry up two eggs in my “eggs only” 8-inch Zwilling non-stick pan, in butter. Oh, and the steak will be cooked with diced onions, mushrooms, and peppers.
This is one of those posts that requires a follow-up
si
And diced tomatoes, I forgot those.
Man that’s gay.
It’s super gay.
This is always a special moment: finally catch up with one of your true friends from high school, what like 40 years later and his first shared Facebook post mentions christianity and communion.
Oh God dammit!
This is why Facebook sucks.
Does he like Christianity or does he hate it?
Also, was that “communion” or “communism”?
I caught up with my old college roommate after 20+ years. He was a total hound with the women and now he has two daughters under 13.
I laughed myself into a hernia.
Balls and tWBS tonight:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohDB5gbtaEQ
hehehehehe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k30XeJNAbt4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOAzJFd4KDA
There’s some dumb motherfuckers just destroying chicken fried steak on the cooking channel and it’s a little sad.
It ain’t that hoard peoples.
Worcester MA public access channel, (it’s between all the sports channels for some reason and it is hilarious), is showing a tummy tuck paid promotion show and it’s clear that the before and after pictures are just someone telling the model to stand up straight and suck it in while taking both photos within 4 minutes of each other.
Same swim suit?
Oh far, far worse.
Damn.
The fact that we made chili relleno should have been a clue.
A clue, you say?
/Door flies open
VASTLY underrated movie
Can confirm
There’s quite a few homo-sexuals in that cast as well, which is very good. They love that theatre shit.
That’s bullshit.
?w=807
I haven’t seen a more manly movie since ‘Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert‘
More accurate:
No shit.
By the way, this thread sucks.
Now them’s fightin words
jesus, gotta take some pretty drastic steps to find out who’s still awake.
I’m awake! I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck’s going on. I actually slept all day, and I highly recommend it.
Yeah, up yours, Springfield!
Still here and I’ve got garlic breath and sticky fingers.
Michael Bradley proving once again that being Bob Bradley’s son is the gift that keeps on giving.
Me, posting right now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN9CjAfo5n0
Man down in the box for Mexico and I literally just yelled “They shoot horses don’t they!?”
“A decidedly pro-Mexican crowd here…”
So Stephen Miller didn’t make it?
Dope. ESPN will air the first NSWL game next week. Portland Thorn v Orlando Pride. Here in Portland at noon PST.
Oh man. Providence Park is going to be fucking wild.
Is the Orlando Pride a gay team? I have no idea what NSWL is.
?itemid=13125842
National Women’s Soccer League. The WNBA of the MLS only better than the men. But yeah the Pride is named for that.
/starts internet campaign for a team named “The Straights”
//argues vociferously that it be located in Boston
///dips
Are you serious? A womens’ soccer team is named for being gay? This pride shit is getting out of hand.
The fuck?
The fuck what? The team being gay or me pointing it out?
“This pride shit is getting out of hand.”
Seriously? Look, if I’m missing the sarcasm let me know. I’ve had a couple and reading through the pissing match below may have thrown me.
It was both. I only go for the comedy; I have no beliefs whatsoever. However, this pride shit is getting out of hand. Being a homosexual is nothing to be proud of, any more than I should be proud for being normal. Also you’re drunk. But then again, I just woke up. Do you see the light, grasshopper? Did you ever watch Kung Fu? I don’t think I would have watched it if the Chinaman had been played by a gook. David Carradine choked to death while jerking off.
I have lost all perspective on this thread so I’ll just…
(also you will hear me open another beer from deep within the shrubbery)
Hey it’s all about the funny. You’re being very sensitive.
You’re calling me sensitive when you got upset about the gays getting, out of all pro sports, TWO*teams named for them!?
*The second, of course, being the Calgary Flames
I didn’t get upset. I just thought it was faggy, that’s all. Don’t forget the Cowboys and the Rams.
It’s the not bankrupt women’s soccer league. There’s a not bankrupt hockey one too!
Leaving an Arriola uncovered like that should be illegal.
“Damn, Arriola was so close!”
– me, after my first visit to a strip club
Alex Morgan is nice.
/would corner kick that
Raucous crowd chants, beers thrown on the field, what kind of shit-hole country is this game being played in?
Is it a Little League game in eastern CT?
https://twitter.com/skenigsberg/status/1147923363169480706?s=20
Couldn’t have happened to a better network.
Drew is stealing jobs from our hardworking Mexicans.
https://www.gq.com/story/drews-fancy-underwear-odyssey
Lots and lots of REEL MURIKAN PATROITS angry TEH GAY won the country a world championship.
Good.
Don T’s tweet gif from below:
Wait..I thought it was Pence that got balls in his face a lot.
That’s IRL. This is satire.
Sorry. Can’t really tell the difference any more.
Is there a better excuse for America not being good at soccer than, “well, we have to give the rest of the world something to beat us at”?
Yeah, just soccer. Not happiness, height, life expectancy, overall health and well being, per capita income, and all the other things that the U.S. is actually shit at.
“The only thing holding us back on height are all those tiny illegal immigrants!”
-Probably a direct quote from Twitter
Frankly, if this is Mexico’s idea of defense, then I’m not sure they should have anything do to with the wall.
Once again I’m going to recommend watching NWSL whenever ESPN starts airing their games.
CONCACAF, eh? More like, TooLongAnAcronymCACAF amirit?
Canadians
Offer
Nationalized
Care;
Also
Crappy
At
Football
This checks out.
Comically,
Only
Non-Advanced
Cultures
Actually
Care
About
Futbol
Alright, final game of the day. Hippo haz Mexico?
Always wanted to see these guys live. They used to play the El Rey in LA regularly, but it never timed out right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59bLUwYONEI
It appears Balls and I scared everyone off, LOL.
Relax, we’ll be fine. Start commenting again please.
I miss Venice and Santa Monica.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MW6E_TNgCsY
True story….I’ve met Art Alexakis twice. Pretty cool guy.
When you deal heroin, you meet interesting people.
Balls never scared me off, even that time out behind the Arby’s dumpster, when I was not expecting a pair that big on someone with tits like that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC5FdFlUcl0
Maybe I should focus on younger women. I already burned all my compliments for those my age, badly. My last interaction ended with “You have beautiful skin. Who’s your embalmer?”
LOL. Funeral Directors get all dat ass.
Hopefully Balls won’t find that offensive to Funeral Directors.
Or corpses.
This checks out
LOL
“You have beautiful skin. Who’s your embalmer?”
Is banner worthy, even if I may have heard some standup use a similar joke, who knows, still banner worthy.
It’s a good thing Hope Solo isn’t still on the team. If she went to the White (raycess btw) House she’d probably get into a fist fight with trump, they’d end up sleeping together in the Lincoln Bedroom in between the chicken nugget and apple pie courses, and then she’d be his running mate in 2020.
High chemistry potential with 45
found a funny:
Eeyore is a horribly depressed donkey, but he doesn’t give up. He truly is an ass that won’t quit.
Megan is easily my new deity.
Checks out:
For some reason, “Ghostbusters” is on AMC right now.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…..
Sigourney Weaver is not an attractive woman, not a good actress, and should immediately be placed in a prison camp.
Weaver was great on Baby Mama as the butt of ageist jokes.
“Your eggs are from the ‘40s”
???
Did they show her penis?
Dude, that’s not cool.
Seriously? It’s not like I just said it to her.
We’re all losing our sense of humour around here.
Myself included, I suppose.
I apologize.
No wait…. YOU bring up anal sex at every opportunity. And yet you’re going to call me out for saying THAT?
You don’t think calling a woman ugly and saying she has a penis is bad?
You do remember the types of jokes we make on this site, yes?
I don’t know what your problem with me is lately, but I would respectfully ask that you get over it. And really fast. Please?
It’s cool; it was a strapon.
That is most likely a sign of a man who is intimidated by strong women. A man who needs a weak woman to make them feel masculine. Not in every case of course, but in a majority, there’s definitely something there.
I really hope you meant that as a joke.
To each their own I suppose; she was great and attractive as Ripley.
This needs to be in the Smithsonian.
https://mobile.twitter.com/didymus/status/1147904666811949056
That is fucking glorious.
In sum, someone who replies “?” to a request for a date probably means
YOU CAME OUT TOO STRONG
On the bright side, I don’t have to shave tomorrow AM. And a drink is being had.
LOL
Mah game needs work. still gotta find the sweet spot between “Hey baby” self-assurance and drooling obsequiousness.
LMFAO
Wait, so that’s NOT a “Yes, bring lube”?
Well maybe I misread the DTF nuance of “?”. There’s a heart there fer Chrissakes! WHERE’S THE FILTH!!1!1!1
After the anal, of course.
Like I said above….dot dot dot….
I want to meet the pink haired Lezbion.
I bet I could turn her.
.. To try out for”Grease”!
Chris Davis got not just one, but TWO hits today!!!!!
Raising his average to .189.
That $17 Million per year isn’t looking so stupid now, huh?
Orioles lose 6-1 in Toronto.
And… the Harry Potter kids? Very cool.
That looks like… Kobe Bryant? Makes sense, a rich guy who buys his way out of legal trouble and everyone conveniently forgets about it.
viva el Mexico!!