AFL Beat 2019 Round 17

This week,

Nice hair!
Must feel nice, huh?
And, yeah, I feel ya. At least you live on the Gold Coast!

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Round 17 Recaps and Highlights

We are back and the games this week were quite exciting with a few close finishes and a couple of surprises. Let’s get right to it.

This week, the first game had a Grand Final rematch with the Collingwood Magpies heading west to take on the West Coast Eagles in Optus Stadium in Perth.

The game was close in the first half with the Eagles only slightly ahead at Half Time. The third quarter allowed the Eagles to extend their lead for a bit, but the Pies were still within reach. In the fourth, the Pies came back and got the game even. It came down to the last two minutes:

What a game! Worthy of the two Grand Finalists from last year. Here are the full game highlights:

West Coast Eagles 77 Collingwood Magpies 78

The proper Friday Night game had the Carlton Blues visiting Sydney to take on the Swans. Remember what I’ve been saying all year about Sydney playing better on the road than at home?

Well, the Blues played well, the Swans not so much and the Blues were able to grab their fourth win of the year!

Here are the full-game highlights:

Sydney Swans 62 Carlton Blues 69 (NICE!)

Later, the Hawthorn Hawks hosted the Fremantle Dockers at the MCG and it was over from the start. Well, that’s not exactly fair.

The Dockers did stage a bit of a comeback in the second quarter, but the damage had been done and the lead was too much to overcome. By the third quarter, the Hawks were in full command and never looked back.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Hawthorn Hawks 84 Fremantle Dockers 53

Even later on Friday night, the Essendon Bombers and the North Melbourne Demons played one of the games of the season. If it felt like a finals game, it’s because a lot was at stake. The winner would get into the Eight while the loser dropped way down on the ladder.

North started out very hot, scoring four out of the first five goals of the game. The Bombers, however, rallied and took the lead late in the first. The game then became what they call in Australia an “arm-wrestle” with both teams fighting hard.

In the second half, it was Essendon that built a large lead only for the Roos to come bouncing back late in the fourth. In the end, it came down to the last two minutes:

Here are the highlights:

Essendon Bombers 86 North Melbourne Kangaroos 81

The first of the two late late Friday night games had the Adelaide Crows visiting the Gold Coast to take in the sun and take on the Suns.

Remember last week when I said the Richmond Tigers got an early vacation by routing the Suns? The same thing happened to the Adelaide Crows.

The game wasn’t close and the Suns, again, are a mess after a promising start.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Gold Coast Suns 56 Adelaide Crows 151

The last game of the night had my Geelong Cats hosting the St. Kilda Saints. By a twist of fate (and probably my intestines), I was up early on Saturday morning and managed to catch the end of this one.

As was expected, the Cats were able to hold off the Saints, holding them to only 57 points in a comfortable win.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Geelong Cats 84 St. Kilda Saints 57

The first North American Saturday Night game was a beauty: Richmond hosting GWS.

Unfortunately for Giants fans, the game started to unravel almost from the beginning. Stephen Coniglio suffered a knee injury and was out almost from the start.

Credit to the Giants, they did not give up and actually lowered the deficit in the second and third quarters. However, it was too much to ask for and they finally succumbed in the final quarter.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Richmond Tigers 94 GWS Giants 67

The second of the Saturday night games had the Western Bulldogs hosting the Melbourne Demons at Marvel Stadium.

The Doggies have quietly been making a run at the Eight and kept the momentum going with an important win against the reeling Demons. Watch out, GWS, the Doggies are coming for your finals spot!

Here are the full-game highlights:

Western Bulldogs 74 Melbourne Demons 66

The last game of the Round was another opportunity for the Brisbane Lions to show that they are for real and should be a force to reckon with come finals time.

They traveled to Adelaide to take on the Power and, similarly to last week, they aced their test with flying colours! It was a big win in Adelaide against a Port team that is frustratingly consistently inconsistent.

Now, the Lions are solidly in the Top Four with a very good shot at getting a Top Two spot and getting a home final with the Double Chance.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Port Adelaide Power 49 Brisbane Lions 97

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

1Geelong Cats133052141.0
2Collingwood Magpies115044117.2
3Brisbane Lions115044114.8
4West Coast Eagles115044113.3
5Richmond Tigers106040104.9
6GWS Giants97036121.1
7Adelaide Crows97036112.8
8Essendon Bombers97036102.4
9Port Adelaide Power88032105.6
10Western Bulldogs8803294.8
11Hawthorn Hawks79028100.1
12North Melbourne Kangaroos7902899.5
13Fremantle Dockers7902896.0
14Sydney Swans61002495.3
15St. Kilda Saints61002480.0
16Melbourne Demons51102080.3
17Carlton Blues41201683.1
18Gold Coast Suns31301264.1

Here is the Balls Graph:

Download (PDF, 252KB)

We finally have some separation in the ladder. Unless the teams from 11th position down get on a roll, their season is likely over.

The battle for the last few spots in the Eight is still being waged, only with fewer teams. I still expect it to go down to the last game of the season.


Footy Tipping Contest

Here is where we are after Round Seventeen:

Total TipsTotal Margin
2Son Of Spam51593457
5BC Dick53584571
6Why Eagles Why8182430
7Dolph Ucker6182444
8Yeah Right51378640
9Game Time Decision41377499
11Joliet Jake Delhomme41572566

Congratulations to Why Eagles Why, who got our high score of the week with an almost perfect 8 and one off the margin!

Overall, we’ve gotten a little bit of movement with Why Eagles Why carrying that momentum to leapfrog Dolph Ucker and Yeah Right also edging Game Time Decision for 8th place.

Still a lot of games left and anything can happen!



AFL Round 18

Here is the schedule for this week (all times Pacific):

Friday, July 19, 2019

2:50 AM (Late Thursday Night!) – Adelaide Crows v Essendon Bombers at Adelaide Oval

The Bombers were able to knock off the Roos, but now they face a team in the Eight on the road. Can they pass this test?

8:45 PM – Richmond Tigers v Port Adelaide Power at the MCG

The Power have gone Win Loss Win Loss for the past eight games. They lost last week…

9:10 PM – Carlton Blues v Gold Coast Suns at Marvel Stadium

This game will decide which team gets the Wooden Spoon this year.

11:35 PM – GWS Giants v Collingwood Magpies at Giants Stadium

The season is slowly unraveling for the Giants. They MUST win this game, but their injury list is long.

Saturday, July 20, 2019

2:25 AM – Brisbane Lions v North Melbourne Kangaroos at The Gabba

The plucky Lions are all the way up to third in the ladder. They must win this game at home to prove they are for real and to keep alive any shot at a top two finish.

3:10 AM – Fremantle Dockers v Sydney Swans at Optus Stadium

The Dockers are reeling and must win this at home to stay within reach of the Eight.

8:10 PM – Geelong Cats v Hawthorn Hawks at the MCG

Technically a home game for the Cats, but the Hawks call the MCG home, so not so much. Should be a good game, though.

10:20 PM – Melbourne Demons v West Coast Eagles at TIO Traeger Park in Alice Springs

Technically a home game for the Demons although Alice Springs is roughly the same distance from Melbourne as it is from Perth.

11:40 PM – St. Kilda Saints v Western Bulldogs at Marvel Stadium

The Doggies also call Marvel Stadium home. Are we sensing a pattern?


That’s all for this week! There are only six games left in the Home and Away season. Every game is crucial. Time to tune in!

See you next week!




International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.

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UnsurprisedLow Commander of the Super SoldiersRikki-Tikki-DeadlyMoose -The End Is Well NighGame Time Decision Recent comment authors
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I guess Twitter has nothing better to do today, which is good because Twitter could stand to go back to fighting over QB ratings and shit.

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I think we all need to be flogged for not making more jokes about how Andy Reid set an NFL record for the fastest time in the three cone drill.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh


It was 600 miles because that was the nearest town.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“What time do we get paid today?”
“Paychecks go out at the end of next week.”
“Oh. So, uh, what time do they lock up around here then?”


I have never, in my life, seen a product that was more obviously designed with one single customer in mind.
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I want whatever they were smoking when they decided this needed to exist.


I mean it seems obvious that one (the sandwich) follows the other (what they were smoking), right?


The chicken part looks good, anyway.

Game Time Decision

From the same kitchen team that brought the “Double Down”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Next; let’s triple down.

King Adolf Frederick of Sweden was a famous glutton and died after consuming an enormous final meal in 1771. The occasion was Shrove Tuesday (or Mardi Gras), the last big feast before the austerity of Lent. The 60-year-old monarch put away a meal of lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, kippers, and champagne—so far, so normal—but then he decided to finish off with the traditional Swedish dessert of semla, a cream-filled bun, served in a bowl of milk. However, Adolf Frederick did not stop at one or even two buns—he ate 14 cream-filled buns. It comes as no great surprise to learn he ended up with terrible indigestion and possibly food poisoning, which ultimately killed him.


[pours out a sip of gravy in respect for the deceased]

– Andy Reid


“Yes, is this the state police? I’d like to report a crime that I just witnessed.”

– Indiana resident


I wonder if cream filling oozed out if you squeezed his corpse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Game Time Decision

yeah right, next time you edge me, can you bring some lube? I’m all chaffed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The chaffing is for the BSDM part.


Great, I’m rooting for another 9-7 team that chokes under pressure


The Fighting Hernandezes?