Your “Sayonara Suckers” Sunday Evening Open Thread

Well, this is my last post for a bit, as I have hit my #content quota for the year, so the powers that be have ceased forcing my production,

and thus I will be “intermittent” for the next three weeks.

Next week, I will be visiting the (checks thesaurus) “Beautiful” state of (checks atlas) Ohio, valued for its industrious people, Midwest values, and – primarily – every four years for its available Electoral College votes. A friend of mine, who is a Cleveland Indians fan, has just survived Stage-2 colon & lung cancer, via 24 low-dose chemo treatments. I figured we’d celebrate by going to see his favourite team play baseball in their home stadium. I got us the planes on points, and since I’m not with WineWife motels are the preferred option. Plus, I managed to line up a week where every Indians affiliate is playing in Ohio:

  • Dayton (Reds) – not Indians, but his last name is “Dragan” so it works.
  • Columbus (Indians)
  • Akron (Indians)
  • Mahoning Valley (Indians)
  • Lake County (Indians)

And it all wraps up with a night game on August 3rd & a day game August 4th in downtown Cleveland.

What I didn’t plan on was that I forgot it was Hall of Fame Week in Canton, so rental cars are hard to come by, and so the price spiked 100%. Also, it might be hard to go visit said shrine, since “Hall of Fame Week” involves:

  • August 1:
    • Autograph session – Hall of Fame
    • Hall of Fame Game – Denver vs. Atlanta
  • August 2:
    • Gold Jacket Photo Op
    • Enshrinees’ Gold Jacket Dinner
  • August 3:
    • Enshrinement Ceremony – 7:00PM
  • August 4:
    • Concert for Legends – 8:00PM
      • with headliner Imagine Dragons!

We fly out at 6:30PM on August 5th, so we might blast down early that day to give the place a looksee.

I’m back for a few days, which includes filing my 2019 Falcons preview,

Spoiler alert.

before I’m off again, this time taking my mother on a nice trip.

I won’t be back on a continual basis until August 19th. Until then, our stellar coterie of authors will shock & delight you, and don’t forget that we’ve got a return to (pre-season) game night Open Threads.

See You On The Other Side (Of Vacation)

Miss ya/


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Yankees at Red Sox – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • Track and Field:
    • U.S. Outdoor Championships Day 4 – 8:00PM | NBC
    • Pan American Games 2019: Day 5 in Lima, Peru – 8:00PM | ESPNU

Boy, there’s really nothing on.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Senor Weaselo

After the burgers, Senorita’s friend came over and we’re making cookies. At 1 AM. As one does.

ballsofsteelandfury

Male or female?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cookies don’t have gender, Balls.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I would not eat cookies with gender balls.

Oh wait, never mind.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mass shooting in Gilroy.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

2 dead, right? Just another day in America.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

3 plus the shooter.

blaxabbath

The new US standard for mass should be five minimum.

yeah right

We just watched the Geelong vs Sydney game and it went over famously. Got a weekly Aussie rules watch party going over here.

ballsofsteelandfury

Nice!

blaxabbath

With our USPS Welcome Packet! coupons, I got a $10 off + free delivery from DoorDash. I am aware of their little stunt with the tips and so I ask all you the question: how do you handle tipping in this unique situation, short of giving the guy cash at the door?

yeah right

You tip on the app and they walk away. But cash always rules the day.

Brick Meathook

I never “pre-tip.” There’s no incentive for good delivery service. Deliver my pizza quickly and correctly and I’m a generous cash tipper at the door. Some places have a delivery fee (that doesn’t go to the driver) and I’ve sometimes negotiated to have that waived.

Mr. Ayo

We need an Injury Beat. I didn’t know RGIII is already down.

blaxabbath

Don’t feel bad, I didn’t even know he was still in the league.

Horatio Cornblower

Watching “Dirty Water TV” on NESN right now, which is basically if ‘The Bachelorette’ gave free advertising to local bars while the hosts got shit-faced on shitty drinks and tried to get morons to have sex with them.

Which I’m very much OK with.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It says they go to the “hottest clubs in New England” which is nonsense because everybody already knows that no nightclub will ever be hotter than Station.

Col. Duke LaCross

Woof.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Too soon?

Horatio Cornblower

I have a 5 pm doctor deposition tomorrow, which means I’m looking at working until 10, which in turn means I’ll be sleeping in tomorrow. So, contestant #3, COME ON DOWN!!!
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This is an Imperial IPA clocking in at 8.1 ABV. Here are some incredibly pretentious reviews. My take? I’ve had better, especially from Treehouse. Has a prefumey taste to it. That’s not a compliment. Still gonna finish it though. I’m not a savage.

Mr. Ayo

I was expecting a Mojito inspired beer.

Horatio Cornblower

I have some self-respect, sir.

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t wait for the Yankees to announce they’ve acquired Trevor Bauer, right after he threw a temper tantrum and a ball over the CF field fence, prompting Tito Francona to ask “What the fuck is wrong with you” while taking him out. Just gonna be awesome.

Redshirt

https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/indians-trevor-bauer-heaves-ball-over-outfield-wall-in-mound-tantrum-after-being-pulled-from-dismal-outing/

My favorite part was his teammate five feet to his right recoiling because he was afraid he would be hit with the ball.

Mr. Ayo

#BFIB material, IMO

King Hippo

liek we says if’n he white, he be alright!!

yeah right

In his next contract drones are not optional.

Unsurprised

RIP to a real one.

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Unsurprised

The wide shots are great because they give a good impression of how far he had to build up speed for that hit.
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Horatio Cornblower

I can’t tell who Taylor hit because he knocked the name off the back of his uniform.

Unsurprised

The guy who got hit couldn’t tell you either.

Unsurprised

I wish I were this dude.

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nomonkeyfun

You want to be a grown man with a bunch of boys trying to make you go down?

Horatio Cornblower

Somewhere Jerry Sandusky just got 3rd degree burns on both ears.

blaxabbath

I’m not saying the bulk of the GOP just got an erection by this comment. But that’s mostly because I don’t know if those old pervs can still get it up.

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Horatio Cornblower

Watching ‘Field of Dreams’ because the combination of the Yankees and the ESPN announcer have me following the game on my phone. My hot take is that Ray was dead the whole time, and he’s the one who’s in heaven.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My take on the plot:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe that is more because of Costner.

Redshirt

He was really the best actor for the role. They needed a neutral actor that could allow the story to play out for the audience and not become the story.

Field of Dreams: Condensed Version
“Hey, a voice is telling me to plow over my crops and risk making my family homeless, Why not?!”
“Go kidnap a writer? Okay, Voice.”
“Let’s go harass a dead doctor about his missing his life’s dream? Sure!”
“Wait, he’s okay with it? Oh look, its you at a younger age. Who cares, he’s dead.”
“Oh no, my daughter’s dying. Oh, good. Ghost Doc is back to save the kid and go to heaven.”
“The writer’s going to Heaven to interview a bunch of dead ballplayers but I’m not? Whatever.”
“Hey look, its my Dead Dad! Time to make a bunch of grown up men cry about their dads.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s definitely neutral (really shitty). The movie, for me anyway, was terrible. Of course it made buck.

Horatio Cornblower

Costner was great in “Bull Durham”. Which fits my patented theory that every actor, no matter how bad, has one great movie that they can cling to like grim death to justify every future role.

nomonkeyfun

You mispelled “The Big Chill”.

Horatio Cornblower

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Horatio Cornblower

Fair.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t think it was tough enough, though.

Senor Weaselo

I made burgers and Senorita Weaselo didn’t have to take someone else to the hospital this week!
/She had to take the dog she’s been dogsitting to the hospital, poor thing had a stroke. She’s up and walking and may come home tomorrow

Horatio Cornblower

“She’s up and walking and may come home tomorrow”

Good for Senorita! Hey, how’s the dog?

LemonJello

Dammit!
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Horatio Cornblower

Not sure about this one…
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Horatio Cornblower

Yep, that’s a Pina Colada flavored beer all right.

I have three more. Who wants ’em.

LemonJello

Don’t send them to Don T. Hasn’t he suffered enough?

Don T

/sighs
Indeed

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Fuck it. Beer’s beer.

King Hippo

ewwwwwww

/nice jerb on ur nails tho

Horatio Cornblower

Oh those aren’t mine.
/shoves cellar door closed with foot

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sure, suuuuure.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is there a name for that feeling when you still have work to do on Sunday and you cannot bring yourself to do it?

Horatio Cornblower

I call it ‘Sunday’

LemonJello

Funnily enough, I call it “work.”

King Hippo

I spend all weekend dreading what lurks in my briefcase, then about 90 minutes late Sunday afternoon half-assing all I can, then telling myself I will get up at 6 and start early on Monday.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Ray Lewis got credit for that tackle.

LemonJello

Ryan Shazier felt that hit in his toes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BOOOOOM!

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King Hippo

One has to think God was reviewing BeerCancerFriend’s file, and was all like holy fuck, this guy’s a lifelong Indians fan? Christ, I have to do at least SOMETHING about the cancer, I guess.

Redshirt

Based on that theory, I’m Vandal Savage.

yeah right

Enjoy the vacation. Don’t think there’s anyone on the planet that earned it more.

LemonJello

Ohio? Hope your vaccinations are up to date.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Get your ass back here. We’re all tired of covering for you already.

Just kidding (mostly). Be Safe.

rockingdog

Ummmmmm cool?comment image

Unsurprised

Depression comes in a box now.

Unsurprised

What’s really fucked up is how easily I have killed boxes of Cheez-Its and also that it takes a bottle of cheap wine to get me drunk so there’s a part of me that would legit use this product if my dignity weren’t greater than my self-hatred.

Unsurprised

I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t ever drink again, to be honest. Overeating is just something I have to live with, but there’s nothing good coming from how I drink.

nomonkeyfun

“Bad shit happens when I drink.”

-nomonkeyfun’s mantra
It can suck sometimes, but I find it better for me, and those around me that I don’t drink.

rockingdog

found a funny:
are YOU doing too much?

is there too much you WANT to do?

are you worried you have to start saying NO to things?

worry no longer.

introducing: Doing Several Things, Poorly™

Redshirt

I may be out of shape. I went hiking and got winded going down a flight of stairs.

LemonJello

Point of Parliamentary Procedure: What’s the exchange rate on Canadian DFO content to American DFO content? Are we sure MeadMateMack really reached his quota?

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WCS

Great to see that your friend is better. Enjoy the trip.

Redshirt

Waitaminutewaitaminutewaitaminutewaitaminute. You’re vacationing to Ohio?

nomonkeyfun

So, your friend isn’t Ilhan Omar?

ballsofsteelandfury

Enjoy the vacation!

herodotus450

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Redshirt

Shoes? When did Beerguyrob become the Pope?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS GUY BEERGUYROB I CALL HIM A BIG TOE BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH YOU’LL MISS HIM UNTIL HE’S GONE

Unsurprised

/Andy Reid sweats nervously