Sa Sa Sa Saturday Night Open Thread

Howdy, folks! It’s your Friendly Neighborhood Balls here, filling in for TequilaHomieRoberto while he’s off doing… something.

First things first. Here are your sports options for the evening (all times Pacific):

  • 8:10 PM – Collingwood Magpies v Gold Coast Suns, Watch AFL app
  • 10:20 PM – Carlton Blues v West Coast Eagles, Watch AFL app
  • 11:40 PM – Brisbane Lions v Western Bulldogs, Watch AFL app

What? You think there are other sports?

Fiiiiiiine. Lemme see…

  • 3:00 PM – Querétaro v Cruz Azul, TUDN USA, UniMás
  • 5:00 PM – América v Tijuana, TUDN USA, Univision
  • 7:00 PM – Monterrey v León, Fox Sports 2, Fox Deportes
  • 7:00 PM – Necaxa v Veracruz, TUDN USA,

I hope you’re happy now.

Now, normally our good friend MezcalNiñoMiguelÁngelRamírezSanchez shares some fun tidbit in these here intros to set the mood and get the conversation going.

What do you think good ole Balls is gonna do?

I’m so predictable, aren’t I?

Actually, not so fast, my friends! While I do enjoy the gif above, I do have a brain and I do have some important things to talk about!

That girl would be perfect if her hair was blonde.

No, seriously, we all have our preferences. Some people like butts. Others like boobs. Others like legs. Hippo likes shoulders. Rex likes feet. Some people like hair colours. Some like certain hair styles.

It’s actually quite beautiful and amazing that there is really something for everyone and every single one of us can be considered attractive to some poor deranged person on this planet.

I pass by some rough streets on my way in to work. There are usually a gaggle (is that the official term?) of hookers working the streets at the time I pass by around 6 AM.

None of them are what I would consider my cup of tea. My work buddy called me once as we were passing through the gauntlet and asked me if we should bring hookers or donuts to the meeting that morning. I replied, “We’re SOL cause I think the hookers ate all the donuts!”

However, they still have customers!

Seriously, there is a fucking traffic jam on those streets at 6 AM from all the potential customers checking out the wares!

So, as I’ve said in these pages before, we should take a moment to realize that beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder and be thankful for that.

God knows my penis is thankful someone besides me is goodly enough to play with it.

Please discuss in the comments your likes and preferences. I’m sure we can all learn something and maybe, just maybe, we can discover something new and exciting that we didn’t know existed.

(90/69)

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
ballsofsteelandfury

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theeWeeBabySeamusUnsurprisedBrick MeathookWCSballsofsteelandfury Recent comment authors
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I bought a MAD MAGAZINE today! First time since I was a kid! It’s the October 2019 issue, and it was just sitting there on the magazine rack down at Ralphs, so I bought it. It’s not too bad either, although MAD was always a bit corny, I even thought so when I was a kid, but I always loved the artwork and draftsmanship, particularly the parodies drawn by Mort Drucker and Jack Davis. There’s a Tarantino parody here very much in that style, plus a few reprints from classic issues as well (the fold-in is from 1967). I heard very recently that they were no longer going to print MAD anymore so this might be the last one. It cost $5.99, and I told the 18-year-old cashier that I bought a one year subscription when I was twelve for $7.00 and his head exploded.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was thinking about taking a cruise.
Whaddya think?
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WCS

This was live footage of you.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nah. Seamus has more hair.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s true, I do. I need a haircut.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

KITTEH!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Big Kitteh.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He just wants a big hug!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not judging. I’d have tried to jump through the glass at her too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Too bad she’s so quick.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

She’s got panties full of poop, I would surmise based on the available evidence.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Soft kitteh

theeWeeBabySeamus

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

Fun fact: Andrea True was a porn star.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wait, wait wait….ah shit….
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

At least she cleared the dock. More or less.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If you know who this is, you are a horrible human being.
Just like me.
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And Balls.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Dammit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, I knew you would know.
freaking pervert.

yeah right

James on Wednesday!

Spur
Spur

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bonk!!!!
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Spur
Spur

Rubber head is a side effect of steroid use

Gratliff

Velasquez looked real good in his first match, though he wrestled the whole thing in a mask which was unexpected and a bit fanboyish. Was odd that they had him doing more athletic flippy moves to start instead of just pretend MMA, but it was a good start.
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Gratliff

He did not look as good at Scarlett Bordeaux did, though.
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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I would totally Bordeaux that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Would totally wrestle her. If she pins me, I win.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s not even totally dark out.

Spur
Spur

There’s a white nationalists joke here but I’m too lazy to figure it out

Spur
Spur

theeWeeBabySeamus

King Hippo

Time to give up on el beisbol and queue up this “Euphoria” show

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Hope you don’t have a daughter.

King Hippo

only three of them. Don’t worry, I harbour no illusions already.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

OMG.

Spur
Spur

yeah right

That’s real good.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Can’t span two woods. 2/9 would not tag team.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The splash is what makes me laugh.
Gravity sucks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

The 2019 Baltimore Orioles in gif form.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, we’re not as bad as Detroit anymore.

WCS

The Orioles, or the city in general?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gimme a sec to think on that…..

Spur
Spur

WCS

BREAKING NEWS: Moving sucks

Spur
Spur

Bite the bullet and hire movers.

WCS

We did. Boxing everything sucks.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Have you heard the Good News about a cleansing fire?

King Hippo

ain’t nuthin’ holier!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Insurance is a wonderful thing.

King Hippo

I plan to die exactly where I currently reside

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Wait, I always paid extra for that.

King Hippo

#BFIB falling out of first. I feel like we is letting AMERICA down. Sorry, y’all.

yeah right

Keep trending!

Spur
Spur

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Why can’t I just go to the office, do my job, and have a fucking hobby that consumes my downtime like everyone else so I don’t have to acknowledge that the rest of the world exists?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This should be the catalyst for just obsessively starving myself and working out nonstop to hit that 200 pound goal.

yeah right

Dude I can make a smoothie that will clear your soul.

I aint lyin’.

yeah right

You need to cook for yourself.
Seriously.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I do that. And I’ve cut way back on snacking.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

NUT!! I mean, OUT!

Spur
Spur

Gratliff

Cain Velasquez debut up next. If he so much as does a proper headlock, Vince McMahon is going to send him a billion dollars to come lose to Brock Lesnar.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And a convivial day in April to you too!!!!!!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Oh, Francis!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think Bandhu is still in the trunk.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

At least his remains were there for a bit.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is the first SFW gif I’ve seen of the new big titty HBO wonder, Sydney Sweeney from Euphoria.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

yowza

King Hippo

oh snap, may have to check that show out

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

For science

h

ttps://giant.gfycat.com/SpiffyPersonalEider.mp4

King Hippo

I like science!!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Submitted for your approval:
1971: Don McLean writes and performs “American Pie,” containing the lyric:

Cause the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield

1982: Stanford-Cal, the Big Game, the band is on the field!
The halftime show of that game? A tribute to Richie Valens and The Big Bopper.
The leader of the California band? Don McLean, in cognito, tripping on Palo Alto’s finest psylocybin.
The quarteredback for Stanford? Bob Dylan in a John Elway mask.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

Mick Jagger gets a strange green fungal infection.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The Baltimore Orioles won tonight.

37 wins baby!!!!!! The push to 50 continues.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

WTF. They’re out of first place now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

37-73
How’s that for symmetry?
Are we good or what?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I have to go with the option of “what”.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

“Not good”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who’s on first?

(nobody)

yeah right

So 1330 bucks later I’ve got a new TV! AND a new PC. The PC is so fucking strange. I bought it strictly because I use it to write. And there was so much porn.
So much porn.

I spent about 500 bucks for a digital typewriter.
It’s what I’m used to.
The TV is the bright shiny balls.
It will be delivered on Tuesday.

New tv!

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

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Spur
Spur

4k?

yeah right

Oh you betcha!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I hope this becomes a trend.

Gratliff

La Parka showing up at TripleMania is actually written into Mexico’s constitution
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Gratliff

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Gratliff

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Gratliff

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herodotus450
herodotus450

“El Paso? Who fuckin’ cares about a shooting in Mexico?”
-Don T. (the other one)

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

No Google, I do NOT want to see the stats or highlights of the Mariners game tonight.

Asshole.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

Watching the Dirty Dozen, which reminds me of my dad and is fucking awesome. However, just for giggles I did a little research and learned that Lee Marvin was only 43 when this movie was made. I’m 44. Not sure how to feel about this.

yeah right

I’ll bet you’re a big Lee Marvin fan!

Gratliff

I see the usual people are insisting we refuse to give the shooter the satisfaction of being identified

Shooter has ties to Trump: let us whisper his name into this envelope and then lock it away in the forever box

Shooter has ties to Islam: I'M SORRY AM I SHOUTING RIGHT NOW IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M SHOUTING BUT I'M JUST REALLY EXCITED

— the mustache thread guy (@dagotron) August 4, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

I’d be kinda bummed to get killed by Tejano McLovin

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Was it Nino Hamburguesa?

Gratliff

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

He looks guilty.

Gratliff

Did not realize the President was a fellow kommentist. Good evening, sir!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Bring on the motherfucking apocalypse already. Humanity is a lost cause.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

I’m sorry for everyone who died in El Paso. Wal-Mart is offering a free holster for all the family and friends of the deceased.

Ian Scott McCormick

Battling a summer cold and took the family to some park in Jersey. Then after a 2 mile walk, a few hours at a playground and a bunch of other things. I get roped into paddle boating because they look like swans. And my daughter has been on her worst behavior for the whole day. I deserve anal tonight. From one of the really good call girls.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Make sure she lubes up the strap-on before she sticks it in you.

Ian Scott McCormick

What are you, my mom?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

What happens if you sneeze while getting pegged?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Don’t tell me you’re at Echo Lake Park

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

I am so very happy you typed that final sentence.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Stella Stevens is the same age as my mom. This photo was taken the year I was born. Hot dang!
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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Any pics of your mom for comparison?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Looks like you won the gene pool. Congrats!

Gratliff

Gonna do the dumb thing and watch AAA’s TripleMania tonight. There will undoubtedly be lots of extremely good wrestling mixed in with an equal amount of extremely bad wrestling, as all lucha libre events guarantee. Of note, though, Cain Velasquez’s pro wrestling debut.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

HOLY SHIT

Blue Demon Jr. VS Dr. Wagner Jr.
Texano Jr.
Myzteziz Jr.
Mocha Cota Jr.
Carta Brava Jr.

and . . .

Villano III Jr.

plus . .

Fabi Apache
Maximo Mamba
Chik Tormenta
Nino Hamburguesa
Australian Suicide
Matt Jackson

and of course . . .

PIMPINELA ESCARLATA

This poster represents every fake name I will ever need for the rest of my life.

Gratliff

Dr. Wagner Jr has a son who goes by El Hijo De Dr Wagner Jr. Lucha is wonderfully goofy sometimes.

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

OMG

Don T

Chastity is a very important quality for a lady.*

* whom I’ll never date.

Don T

The new PR Governor and First Lady
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Don T

‘Cause he’s getting divorced, see?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’ll bet he has the soft clammy handshake of a wealthy man who does no labor and uses lots of hand lotion.

Ian Scott McCormick

FWIW my ring is on the other hand. Not sure which side they prefer in PR though.

Wakezilla

Fought off the Hobo, asserted my dominance over two Latinos wearing wife beaters and got the 2nd picnic table like a champ. In-laws stupidity aside, Toddlerzilla’s birthday party was a success. It’s 5pm. I’ve been at Riley Park since 9 am. The party is over, I’m going home and I’m drinking and if I’m not drinking, I’ll be sleeping because that was a long fucking day.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’M KING OF THE PARK!

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

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