I’m giving Scotchy the night off. The man works hard, and shouldn’t be forced to labour under the aspersion there is meaning to the first preseason games of the year. Thus, this thread will serve a dual purpose of entertaining & preparing for the evening contests.
NFL Nuggets:
- It’s worse than they thought: Nick Bosa will sit out the whole preseason due to his ankle injury.
- It’s a high-ankle sprain, which comes on the heels of his hamstring injury, which followed the “core muscle” injury that cost him most of tOSU’s season.
- Laughably, GM John Lynch forced through his teeth that, “[w]e don’t feel he is injury prone. […] Yesterday he had a big human being fall on his leg while he was engaged with someone else.”
- Apparently seeming full of riches, the Browns have traded Duke Johnson to the Texans.
- In exchange, the Browns get a guaranteed 4th-round pick in 202, which becomes a third-rounder if Johnson plays in ten games.
- This has to gall the Benson family: The Saints have had to join the NFL in opposing the fan petition to sue the NFL & force Roger Goodell to be deposed.
- Quoting ESPN, “[i]n a Wednesday-night filing with Louisiana’s Supreme Court, the Saints said allowing the lawsuit to proceed would “open the door to countless legal claims” that would overburden courts, the league and its teams.
- The ultimate goal is to have it dismissed before it proceeds to pre-trial, and Roger Goodell is forced to answer questions under oath about NFL operations.
- The only reason it has gotten further than any other case is because of the guy who filed it.
- Again from ESPN: “The lawsuit crafted by Saints fan and attorney Tony LeMon is put together in such a way to avoid having it taken over by a federal court, in part by keeping the damages sought low. The lawsuit alleges fraud by NFL officials.”
- Quoting ESPN, “[i]n a Wednesday-night filing with Louisiana’s Supreme Court, the Saints said allowing the lawsuit to proceed would “open the door to countless legal claims” that would overburden courts, the league and its teams.
Oh, and this guy had something to say:
5am. 5 days a week. For 3 years. Still Ready. pic.twitter.com/AGczejA1rM
— Colin Kaepernick (@Kaepernick7) August 7, 2019
- If all the GMs ignore it now, it’ll be easier for them to ignore it in October.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL Preseason: the picture serves as game analysis
- Jets vs. Giants – 7:00PM | NFL Network
- Watch Eli sip juice on the sidelines while Dukey Duke tries to not look like a bust.
- LA Galaxy’s tenants vs. Cardinals – 10:00PM | NFL Network
- Watch Philip on the sideline contemplate his eighth kid while the False Prophet of Arizona gets his first pro snaps.
- Jets vs. Giants – 7:00PM | NFL Network
- CFL:
- Stampeders vs. Blue Bombers – 8:30PM | TSN / ESPN+
- Beisbol:
- MLB:
- Yankees at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Little League World Series Regional Semi-finals:
- Washington D.C. vs. New York – 7:00PM | ESPN
- Northern California vs. Hawaii – 9:00PM | ESPN
- MLB:
- WNBA Basketball:
- Phoenix Mercury at Los Angeles Sparks – 10:00PM | ESPN2
- Fisticuffs:
- Professional Fighters League: PFL 6 in Atlantic City, N.J. – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
That’s it for me this week. I’ll be back in aboot 10 days. Have a swell time!
It’s like everyone went sleep at the same time, 8:00 PM Pacific.
I hope you’re not all in the same room.
Bullseye!
Or rather, ball girl’s eye!
HOX!!!
found a funny:
What’s the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle.
Howdy. I got to meet Brocky tonight as the Bears hosted the Panthers in something resembling football. Pretty sure he’s not a serial killer, so I’ll call that a win.
He traded me an Unown and I’m not dead!
/Still the only one I have
Sweet!
Well, I just reject your hypothesis.
Pretty sure is like mostly dead
This is my favorite 2:00 song that uses President Kennedy as the lead vocalist.
I could make a whole movie out of this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwPnJXXX5Ic
?Patient . . . in tribulation!?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH5n1yRFy_E
I would expect that answer to anything I said.
That’s certainly an option. However, and hear me out here, what if we instead went with Yes?
This is where my “do you NOT want to have sex with me” semantics enter the game. The ol Wabbit Season/Duck Season.
Elisha Cuthbert makes me think unclean thoughts.
If you told me 20 years ago I’d be sitting on my back porch off a personal putting green watching on a TV with insane resolution at my own minibar with a Playstation and a fridge of beers that no one’s touching, I would assume at some point I won the lottery.
We’re all a pretty good mix of spoiled and fucked, aren’t we?
Yessir, the lows are indeed low, but the occasional high makes it worth it. Most days, anyway.
/raises a beer
I have no idea how I made it home alive from one of the most amazing concerts ever so I’ll cosign.
Life man.
Cheers to you my brother.
Nice catch by Ricky Seals-Crofts.
I think he ran a Diamond
Curl route.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm5iK_tNWAg
Fuck football.
How the fuck y’all doin’?
I’ve never played Fuck Football, but I’d be happy to watch the Lingerie Football League try it.
It is like Ultimate Surrender but with balls.
What did I do?
They have male wres……. I mean, what are you talking about?
Go lose ten pounds and I’ll think about it.
C’mon, man. At least 15. SOOOOO-EEEEEEE!!!!!
Over with a business proposition? Oh yes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsHiG-43Fzg
One of the co-founders of the Village People died.
I await your punchlines.
well he’s going 2 hell at least he;s used to flaming imo godbless
Fleet week will never forget.
Soon he’ll be IN THE GRAVE-Y
Now he’s gonna stay at the C-E-M-E-T-A-R-Y
First the Village People die and then Rosie Ruiz dies and yet Gale Sayers is still alive.
“Does the President appoint his successor? Asking for a friend.” Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-Closet)
Who’s his replacement? The butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?
If it was the cop, he was shot in the backside
If it was the cowboy, he rode too long in the back country
If it was the construction worker, he fell off a thick beam
If it was the Indian, he was torn open by bears
If it was the sailor, he drowned under a load of seamen
If it was the soldier, he was blown away by a flame thrower
Mulch-o, Mulch-o, mannnn…
I hope Buddy is taking this loss in stride.
By that I mean having lots of poppers and sex.
I’ll put my cock ring at half-mast.
Kyler looks okayler.
Kyler Looks Skyler – The Arizona Republic
he fucked Ted??
garbage time counts in FF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Epj84QVw2rc
I like David Johnson in PPR this season
The ref is Shawn Hochuli, the Ivanka of refs.
“If he wasn’t my son, I would probably be calling roughing the passer on him myself.”
Winslow was penalized for roughing the pud.