Your “Return Of The King” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Zeke is some pissed at Jerry Jones, after he found out his team’s owner made a “Zeke Who?” crack when asked about the starting RBs against the Rams last Saturday.
    • He did clarify his remarks later in the game, but with negotiations stalled, it’s just more kindling on an already smouldering fire of employee discontent.
  • Josh Gordon returned to the Patriots today.
    • He can practice with the team, but is not eligible to play against Carolina this Thursday, as stated in his terms of reinstatement.
  • Antonio Brown finally showed up to Raiders camp, again.
    • He is still expected to file another grievance, so he can continue to wear his old helmet.
    • There were rumours of the Raiders using the PUP list to sit him the whole season, which would remove the guarantees from his contract, if he chose to sit out regular season games.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • 49ers at Broncos – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
      • It’s Game 2/3 of the preseason for these teams, so don’t expect much.
  • MLB:
    • Tigers at Astros – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
  • Little League World Series:
    • U.S. elimination game – 8:00PM | ESPN2
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • For those of you that love the wrasslin’ but hate the network shilling, you’ll be pleased to know that Todd Chrisley (of “Chrisley Knows Best”) & his wife have been arrested for tax evasion.

Thanks to everyone who covered while I was looking after Mom last week. I’m back & looking forward to spending the regular season with you all – including RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lady BFC and I finally watched Sorry to Bother You. Holy shit.

WhyEaglesWhy

That’s pretty much what I said when I saw it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I spent the day at Universal Studios. It’s not easy to have a good time in a place like that when you become aware that the people surrounding you are the ones that made Big Bang Theory into a hit.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

This is the alternate location of the October Los Angeles DFO conference and expo:

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Unsurprised

OH THE HUMANITY!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Let’s see Handsome Jimmy G hug Elite Joe Flacco. It’s practically a gay porno movie.

litre_cola

I see you have lit up the Buddy signal. I await his presence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Best 69 in the league.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t think the 49er are going to do very well this year, but Jimmy is going to lead the league in

    handsome!
WCS

Behind only Koach Kliff. The NFC West leads the league in pretty!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

John Lynch is the hunky-ist GM.

King Hippo

that’s a Wolven Sort making that sack. Hope he makes the squadron.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Jimmy looked worse than Lock.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Jimmy Savile strikes again

King Hippo

Von Miller, the rare athlete interview that I enjoy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s see how he does under pressure:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA4xvRkZYjs

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That seems like a bad idea. Just saying.

Unsurprised

I’d still put my money on the drag car to fly before the Corsair

WCS

“Or the coolest idea ever!”

— the driver

Brick Meathook

Don “Big Daddy” Garlits

King Hippo

#1 for the Tomsulas, gonna need a new leg

theeWeeBabySeamus

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

My back is fucked up. To the heating pad!

King Hippo

Tomsulas have a better 3rd string than us. DOOM!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I told my mom tonight I was going to the shelter tomorrow to adopt a dog and three cats.
Her response?

The hell you are!!!!!

We landed on one dog and one cat. I’ll add more cats later.

Mr. Ayo

Wait, three (3) cats? How single are you?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have you never read anything I’ve written?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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King Hippo

even I find that excessive. And I am completely subservient to the two cats I got.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly, the three cat part was just to fuck with Mom.

I’m getting a dog. And maybe one cat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s a lot of pussy. One way or the other. Good job man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hippo; look at the bright side: with all this new coaching they fixed Garret (B)holds. He looks really good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

….. at holding still.

King Hippo

yeah, I read something in The Athletic that said he was vastly improved

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not really.

King Hippo

Stepping back from my being a rampant asshole – probably would be ideal for kid’s development to go on IR. He’s not playable in any capacity until next year, and I would rather not lose Rypien (the ideal cost-controlled backup)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

?itok=amOdd6G7!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You know that won’t happen right?

I guess they could call naked boots twenty times in a row.

King Hippo

I typed this when he was favouring his wrist (watching with sound off)

King Hippo

oh God, the hilarity. Decisionmaking JUST LIKE QuarterPax

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

WCS – what’s going on with Dirt Stillers? They having a union work stoppage or sommet?

WCS

Half the good players are hurt, and the pitching staff forgot how to pitch.

King Hippo

Drew Fucking Lock now has the yips taking center snaps, apparently. That doesn’t seem like a problem for an allegedly professional quartered back.

WCS

He’s going to suck.

King Hippo

Our Equine Lord and Saviour keeps drafting the same prototype over and over, wonders why the results don’t change.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Predetermined “analysis” is the best “analysis.”

King Hippo

Moose, u noe I am as pigheaded as I is stoopid. BE NICE

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

New Zealand is a made-up place. “Kiwis”??? Oh come on now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

Don’t believe it.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I thought you’d like microfilm. Welp, flat earth videos it is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Jesus, he’s a fucking rookie, who’s four different offense in college where basically high school offenses. If he gets coached up very well, he’s still a year off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, pigheaded it is. You ain’t stoopid.

King Hippo

forgot that DONKS WOO were playing

/well, scrimmaging

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Installing basic offense?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The PUP list isn’t nearly as cute as the name implies.

Col. Duke LaCross

I’ve got YR’s shrimp boil packs in the oven right now! Churched it up with a chopped Anaheim out of my garden. We’ll see how she goes!

Col. Duke LaCross

We got a winner!

Yeah Right, I will follow you into hell you magnificent sonofabitch!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sweeet!

Well, savory, but you know what I meant.

yeah right

Thank you sir. I’m still leading the charge though!

Unsurprised

If you didn’t sit on your balls, your day was probably better than this poor fucker.

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Redshirt

Either that or he has an enormous Schwanzstck.

Unsurprised

No, he sat on his balls.

rockingdog

found a funny:
One thing I’ve probably got in common with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a pretty poor credit history

Porky Prime

Jerrah’s using the increasingly prevalent “I was joking” approach to public insults. Trump didn’t invent the practice, but damned if hasn’t used it so much that it’s now instantly detectable as insincere and sinister no matter who decides to go down that road.

Redshirt

Wait a minute? The Chrisleys are real?! I don’t know how to respond to that.

Unsurprised

Real life is sicker than anything fiction can produce.

Game Time Decision

Glad to see Josh Gordon is back, but I hope that he’s got a handle on all the non-football stuff even if he never plays another down

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Seeing as how he’d be playing downs for the Patriots, I completely agree with this sentiment.

Porky Prime

Dreamboat’s putting Josh on his classic 2009 “Flipper” health regimen.

Super effective, though the baby dolphin puree is a bit chewy. Luckily, it doesn’t go in through the mouth. The colon is the gateway to health, Josh!