Alas, no Lesser Footy (outside the minor league/GAMBLOR realm). Doggone international breaks make my arse chafe. But we have a reasonably decent September slate to keep one sane-ish.
Cincinnati (+16) at Theeeee Ohio State (Noon, ABC)
As much as we would all like to see JV WKRP do a thing…I wouldn’t bet on this being competitive after Q1. But Redshirt will no doubt keep us updated.
Syracuse (+2) at Maryland (Noon, ESPN)
The Orange might be the 2nd best side in the ACC. Though that might be damning with faint praise, I still think they’re better than B1G cannon fooder like the Turtles.
West By God Virginia (+13.5) at Missouri (Noon, ESPN2)
Another spread I don’t get. Yes, Fuckers du Cousins looked pretty anemic Week 1, but they didn’t lose to fucking Wyoming (though my GAMBLOR balance appreciated it). Also, this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoWc6WRHKEE
Texas A&M (+17.5) at Clemson (3:30, ABC)
Yes, sadly, Son de Clem is indeed that good. Even I can’t talk myself into betting Bonfire Cult here. Depressing.
Nebraska (-4) at Colorado (3:30, Fox)
Ah, the memories of the old Bill McCartney “crips v. bloods” game. Go watch that 30 FOAR 30 if ya haven’t already.
Illinois (-20.5) at UConn (3:30, CBSSN)
No respect for the Fightin’ Horatios, I tells ya!!
San Diego State (+7.5) at UCLA (4:15, PAC-12)
Chip Kelly is failing so hard in Westwood, it’s hard not to masturbate to it. Aztecs are always a tough out.
BYU (+3.5) at Tennessee (7:00, ESPN)
Prior to Week 1, this looked like a pretty good matchup. Now, Team Big Love gets to feel the vengeance of a Vols squadron that’s mighty embarrassed. Seriously, Georgia Fucking State??
LSU (-6.5) at Texas (7:30, ABC)
Look, I hate Steer Fuckers South as much as anyone. But last weekend showed us that no non-Alabama SEC PAWWWWLLLLL side out to be laying points on the road to a legitimate opponent.
Arkansas (+6.5) at Ole Miss (7:30, SECN)
I will end up watching lots of Pig Sooey/Johnny Reb. FOAR REASONS (see banner pic).
Cal (+13.5) at Washington (10:30, FS1)
Nap strategically, they’s two interesting tweaker matchups. The Golden Shower Bears are always a weird team, and UW is replacing lots of talent. At home, they should still pull it out (PHRASING!).
Stanford (line pending) at Southern Cal (10:30, ESPN)
This was more intriguing before Troi Boiz’ QB done had his leg tore off, but it’s highly likely they have another dude MOAR capable than whatever shitmonkey the Trees trot out. Plus, quality pervert times.
Army has no chance in OT with that offence, right?
You mean Michigan has no chance in OT with that offence, right?
going back to watching NC State’s 3rd team run up the middle
Told you. it was too far.
closer than expected after that poopy snap
Does the kicker get promoted if he makes it?
His discharge papers are currently being processed for disrespecting the Troops.
Code Red tonight for that kicker
HA! Army kicker’s notable accomplishment: has never kicked a field goal.
There’s always a first time!
He’s gonna miss.
by the length of 2 or 3 school buses
unfortunately, think their FG range is “extra point”
Blair Walsh isn’t even watching.
I’ve never said this before. “C’mon Army!”
Army is doing it!
bogged down in some shithole ?
Well, Ann Arbor…
Maryland’s 4th string (assuming) white running back (named Jake Funk) just went 80 yards on 3 plays.
1) Really good name, especially for a cracker.
b) Syracuse might not be good.
Is Syracuse not playing zone? Even booger picking coach wouldn’t give up a 60 burger.
Carmelo still has 3 years’ eligibility left, just saying.
Army’s D is great at penetrating.
MOAD
LOL Lesser Harbs (is he still at Meeechigan?)
Short answer. No.
well, LOL at who-the-fuck-ever
Harbs is the current coach. I’m saying he’s done now.
I do too many drugs sometimes.
Unpossible.
OSU-Cin announcers just laying in to Antonio Brown. “Diva wide receivers don’t win super bowls. Antonio Brown isn’t worth the trouble.” Not even trying to sugar coat it. Then they just caaaaaasually mention that Mike Mayock is an old colleague and friend of theirs.
Like when NC State (rightly and belatedly) fired Mark Gottfried. All his ESPN buddies shit all over the Wolven Sort.
Wasn’t Santonio Holmes kind of a diva?
Well one of the announcers is Dan Orlovsky, so he probably doesn’t think that catch is very impressive, closeness-to-the-out-of-bounds-line-wise.
“He didn’t even get a foot out before he caught the ball.”
“Lavert Hill,” French for “The green fields of France.”
Me: “I don’t feel like running today. Tell you what, I’ll give you $20 to run for me.”
Son: “Nope.”
Me: “You know, you get your laziness from your mother’s side of the family.”
Son: “Wha…”
Btw, I ended up going running, thinking I’ll just put in 20 minutes and that’ll be it. Lo and behold the legs felt great and I shaved 6 minutes off my best time for the specific route that I ran. This is why you should always force yourself to exercise when you don’t want to.
I am currently in an argument with the Dr. Mrs. because the “service engine soon” light in her car came on and I am arguing that it is probably because the car is literally at the exact mileage for the next scheduled oil change. She is not satisfied with this explanation.
But you’re right. #StaySingle my friends.
I make every fuckup under the sun. But NO WAY will I ever get married again.
Does the Doctor have an alternate theory?
Ehm, you can get yourself an OBD-2 reader from Amazon, lol. They’re literally a couple of bucks and are invaluable for preventative maintenance (and error ID). I personally have one in each car I own, lol, and I iz one happy camper 😀
I already did that at Autozone yesterday. We tried to read it three separate times and it wouldn’t give a code. The cashier was like “Check engine soon light? Your mechanic probably set it to trip for an oil change or something.” She witnessed the whole thing, and emerged saying “that guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
That’s the thing, lol – if it doesn’t show an error immediately (errors are retained until they’ve been cleared even if it’s been resolved), then it’s just the service interval coming up. I’ve had that happen to me on basically every car I’ve own, lol (in fact I had it on the RS7 last week, but I reset it after replacing the oil). You can easily check by googling the interval reset procedure for your car, lol.
I miss Brady Hoke. ‘Member that time he killed his QB?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1mIcYz-DM8
Army up? Oh my.
They just threw an interception at the 5, instead of scoring a touchdown to go up 21-7.
Should have called in the Air Force for that throw.
Some teams just can’t stand success.
All downhill since they put up that “Mission Accomplished” banner at halftime.
Did anyone wander over to their fantasy site and pick up Tyrell Williams?
Announcer: “Can Syracuse get the stop?”
Me: “That is an excellent question.”
“Can Syracuse get A stop?”
Just stop…. He’s already dead!
Wait, Oakland made 300k out of this AB deal?
It was all just an elaborate tax evasion plan
No wonder Trump begged for a franchise
“Wait, these guys get 300+ Million every year for just existing? And then they made a rule prohibiting themselves from spending that much paying their players? Who do I have to bribe to get in on that.”
Actually possible, lol. Apparently the 1mil signing bonus was tied to his attendance of practices, so when you figure the fine money into it and… well.. hiliarity ensues
Michigan let Army throw +10 yard pass on them.
the army… throw a forward pass… Mate, you should probably switch to coffee now, ’cause you’re hallucinating 😀
Sillycuse taking a pounding.
Damn Maryland.
Hit the over at the start of the second half…
Btw, is there anywhere in the rulebook specifically spelled out that one’s pass rush can’t be using exoskeleton suits donated by Boston Dynamics in lieu of the more normal pads? Just asking for a friend 😉
No CTE here, no sir.
Problem with the CTE narrative is that CBSSports and PFT have run quick jaunts through his “colourful” past, where the leitmotif’s always been “Yah, he’s been an asshole since day 1″… Doesn’t hurt to have himself checked at this point, tho. If for nothing else, to raise his capital a bit, because I am just not seeing people lining up to sign him for the money he thinks he’s entitled to… If anything, the price that Oakland paid to trade for him is a good gauge on how many potential suitors he may have, lol
This Brown saga reminds me of the time Frank Thomas left the White Sox after 15 years. A very candid team rep. said, “Thank god he’s finally gone. You’ve no idea how bad it was behind the scenes.” If memory serves there was a non-stop parade of agents, consultants and family members walking into various team official’s offices complaining about things as petty as another teammate getting positive press in the paper.
Did Hippo get in on this HOT Army +22.5 action?
NOPE. But I DID place a bet on lower level French side AS Poissy, because it reads like Ass Pussy
You’re only human. How could you possibly resist?
Thing is, the Cuse qb has okay numbers but the D sucks balls.
That tremor in the Force you all just felt. That was me. Sorry about that.
Damn that was hell of a fart…
Forces pulling from the center of the earth again?
Wow… What an offensive game by MD… They should be proud…. Wait… It’s only the second half… What the fuck?!?!
Dame, who did Maryland sacrifice to gain these skills ?
We’ve replaced Michigan with Iraq’s Imperial Guard, let’s see if anyone notices….
BWHAHAHAHAHHA!
ppl forget last year’s Madden cover:
Not really, no, lol. The title song was about as horrid as well with the delightfully ironic refrain of
Please, somebody stop me
Stop me, stop me
Oh, somebody stop me
And Lord if i’m doing it wrong then please stop me
… Guess what, sunshine, you stopped yerself 😀
Jesus Christ… The Terps are still scoring…
Looks like there is a Sikh Army candidate. Nice.
Shitty Wolves had to switch to all off-tackle runs, because QB can’t throw against Western Goddamned Carolina
What 1-team league is MOAR 1-team-ish? ACC or B1G??
Hey, there are other teams in the big 10 besides Maryland.
Well, now that Ohio State has this game in hand, I’m going to watch some porn.
(switches to Michigan losing to Army)
Fuck Urban Meyer.
I really don’t want to.
Oh, good. UC’s QB just broke his shoulder and now are sending a Freshman against Ohio State.
BUSH PUSH
Ohio State puffing their chests while they beat up on subpar teams, cupcakes if you will.
Yeah who do they think they are, Tennessee?
Cupcake Wars!
Yup, this ones over.
Thought experiment…. How far back would we have to go back in time, with the best current college team…say Bama… And play against that year’s superbowl winner, and the college Boys win?
They play NFL rules, but the college kids have their training gear, and their coaches….
Today Alabama slaughters the 72 Dolphins right? Like not even close. Or am I crazy?
Plus, most of that 72 Dolphins team is dead.
I mean we got atime machine. We are taking the Alabama team back in time…
Cool. Do you think Huey Lewis has one more hit in him?
I hear oxy is a new drug…
I just want the Alabama Hurricanes to play the ’85 Bears or the ’70s Steel Curtain.
Army will run left, up the middle or right here. – Magic