It shouldn’t be this way. We should be happy. The Browns look like a very watchable, exciting team this year. The Cardinals are conducting an experiment with a dynamic rookie that may take the league’s obsession with the passing game to new heights. Equally interesting is what the Ravens have planned for LAMAR! The Chiefs caught lightning in a bottle and the team is an offensive juggernaut and must-watch TV. I was honestly looking forward to this year…
And then the fucking Pats signed fucking Antonio fucking Brown. With Edelman, Thomas and Gordon, they’ve now got the most talented wideout crew in the league. So now we’re going to see a shit-ton of goddamn wr screens. (I don’t know why this isn’t illegal) So many it’s going to make our eyes bleed. And this is going to further slow fucking Tom Brady’s decline as a qb. Fuck. Another year of running the table in the AFC East against those hapless franchises. And of course the Pats get yet another fucking cakewalk to their conference’s title game. And no matter who they face they’ll inevitably get some help via one or two dicey calls from their teammates on the reffing crew.
And as legit fans of the sport (and our numbers are dwindling-wonder why) we’ve no choice but to watch it all unfold as though it were foretold. And the league loves this! They eat this shit sandwich up and ask for seconds, and thirds. Whatever. TO THE GAME!
Steelers/Patriots:
Go fuck yourself, NFL and the Pats. The fucking End.
We are looking into the 19-0 abyss, y’all
Okay, I got a mean spirited game:
name a pornstar who sucks less literal dick than the amount ofmetaphorical dick collinsworth sucks when he covers a patriots game:
Sinn Sage
… I mean, who?
Yup, that’s a winner.
Every pornstar.
Ha! I just need to name a male heterosexual pornstar and I win!
… … … do they even have names?
once had a fun game of circle of death, the card drinking game, where the category was in fact male pornstars, it was a mixed group playing, but I think we named the following:
1. John Holmes
2. Ron Jeremy
3. Evan Stone
4. Tommy Gun
5. James Deen
6. Mick Blue (who apparently has very distinctive tattos, or at least that’s what they claimed.
seventh person couldn’t name one, had to drink!
Big Dick Blaque
Here’s a big caboose at Washington Union Station today, the kind you boys like. Know what else? She had big tits that were definitely on display in a low cut top and those twins were real. How real and on display? Look at the girl to the right and her face says it all. I would have gotten more shots but I was trying to photograph locomotives and other railroad infrastructure.
Well, you’ve done an admirable job documenting one of the finest cabooses on the rails that man has seen. I bet those things fire out strawberry sorbet instead of shit.
The woman checking her out just switched teams….. she’s not even a free agent.
What’s her name?
I bet if you zoom in enough her instagram handle is printed on there.
Never heard that euphemism for it….
Look. I just finished jerking off. That’s too much work at the moment. Just help a guy out.
She was in my rail car but I didn’t see her until we got off the train. She was causing a panic among the railroad workers who were definitely NOT paying attention to their jobs involving 50,000 volts.
You’re doing the lord’s work sir.
Joker is one of those movies I’m gonna have to wait 5 years to watch because it’s too surrounded by bullshit to properly enjoy/hate
I don’t know if it was always the case, but a ton of people seem to only be able to interpret film/TV/literature as protagonist = hero and we’re all worse off because of it.
Impressive that this Medvedev guy is playing so well even after losing the Prime Ministership to Putin like 10 years ago.
I think i hate the Steelers more then i hate the Pats.
You’re a Cowboys fan. You don’t get to judge anyone.
We all do things we’re not always proud of
As a Steelers fan, I know that I have no room to complain, but I want to die.
I prefer the suffering. At least it makes me feel something.
There is no let down from suffering.
You are one of the few Steelers fans that doesn’t get a response of “I want you to die, too” from me.
Agreed. I just want you to suffer another decade of the ’80s and ’90s.
If multiple AFC championship games are suffering, then I’ll take it over what Tomlin has given us. He’s Marvin Lewis (not because he’s black, jesus) with a competent QB.
We all need to hear it, sadly most of the Pittsburgh metro area can’t read and won’t take the needed dose of humility.
One foot outside Allegheny County:
WELCOME TO TRUMPISTAN YOU BEST BE WHITE
“If there are still monkeys………?”
I hate these teams. At least with WVU, I know they’ll shit out of their dicks at some point.
Did that motherfucker just dive at somebody’s knees like 20 yards down field?
Only Superbowl MVP to get suspended for PEDs in the same season!
that reminds me, I got a fitbit for christmas, still haven’t gotten around to properly syncing it.
I miss simpler times
Who yelled Wakanda Forever while I was out of the room? That sort of personality is how you end up an ex-Patriot.
Bennett
Bennet. Too good to be gotten rid of just yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-tRErs5UcI
New England just did the impossible. They got me to root FOR the Steelers!
I usually don’t cum from just one gif, but DAMN.
If no one’s going to make a “swinging a wood” joke, then just log off right now.
Coors took some shit for that beer in the shower commercial since it appears to endorse alcoholism, but I think they should just lean in it.
Coors Light: The beer of breakfast
Coors Light: The beer of making the horrible pain of the world slightly less oppressive
Coors Light: The beer for passing out and missing your own wedding
Coors Light: The beer of forgetting to pick up your kids from after school sports because they have the Uber app just order one they can take you home stop yelling at me
Coors Light – the only beer you can afford anymore because you get drunk in the morning.
Coors Light: the beer of what’s left.
I posted this below, but it seems more appropriate posting it below your comment.
“for some reason Coors Light bra-taking-off chick made me feel a little tingly.”
Coors Light: the beer of “I can’t believe someone left behind half this beer. Welp, it’s still cold…”
Coors Light; The perfect beer for this timeline.
Coots Light was everyone’s choice when I ran track in college for our annual beer mile.
Jeez, Gronk looks like he’s lost half his weight.
Yeah, figure it’ll take him to at least week 12 to cycle back up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMMRQsQOJsQ
Is this the episode where his fat friend’s mom tries to seduce him?
Tries?
Cards postgame show beginning…
You have one job FOX. One job!
“Yes, ONE job. Cause I’m not some lazy immigrant working three of them.” – Fox News
And I’m bored already
Wifey just remarked that drinking Coors Light in the shower makes sense, since adding water won’t make a difference.
Soap would make it better, so agreed.
I replied with exactly the same statement.
I love you, man.
for some reason Coors Light bra-taking-off chick made me feel a little tingly.
US Open final also still going on, fifth set motherfuckers
Is that golf?
“No, borders.” – Fox News
Yeah. Golf is the one with the chicks and the mud and the wailing on each other, right?
“A dramatic tie”
Oh fuck you Mr announcer…
To me, the Patriots are to the NFL as Kobe Bryant was to the NBA. Which as a Lakers fan is a hell of a thing to admit.
This implies the Patriots are all rapists and hopefully on some Epstein flight logs so I like it.
A tie?
Can’t imagine Mike Bidwill won’t meet up with Brett Kavanaugh to rape some children to celebrate this performance.
Fucking fantasy gods making me watch this game.
Putting these consistently good teams on national tv
Good teams that have consistently good players.
Good players that likely are owned by many fantasy teams. ……….
Just like antonio brown’s contract with the Patriots, I’m sure its coincidence
Pats couldn’t get the deal done before the 4 pm deadline yesterday. My fantasy team is very disappointed in how far they’ve fallen.
Rooting for Dreamboat and Harf Harf IR designations
PERFECT game preview. I’m only watching to (i) put off drafting my shitty column; and (ii) cheer for injuries
I NEED MY HIPPO THOUGHTS!
oh, I will write it. #Completionist
Chuh chuh. Take moar pills.
Also, here’s who you should bet on in the 4th level Rwandan aoccer leagu
Wait, did Detroit just strategically take two delay-of-game penalties to force the tie without having to punt?
Well that ended in a sister fucking tie …
I know, but I’d watch that….. well until I finished.
That Sixburgh vs. Sixboro graphic infuriated me
Why, because they didn’t include an entry of “Sexboro”?
That one just gets me RIGHT HERE. Kudos.
This picture makes me want to believe in god again
lol
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Tired: Scorigami
Wired: Surrender Index
I wish they would be more subtle about it and call it L’Index.
Times like these, I am sooooooo glad you are on Twitter for us.
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ BOYS??? WHO’S READY FOR A SEVENTH PATRIOTS SUPER BOWL TITLE? I SURE AS FUCK AM WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WOOOOOO
Since we live in Hellworld now, it’s the only outcome that feels realistic.
Surrender to the misery!
Let’s just cap this timeline with a Trump second term.
A TIE FOR THE TIE GODS
I mean, why shouldn’t I just be a Pats fan? Why fight it anymore?
KAG
ESPN needs to update their stat tracker with a probability percentage for the game ending in a tie.
It would be less than a percent. Too many plays can end OT.
Worst case scenario: Stafford throws an interception leading to a loss.
Best case scenario: he doesn’t, game ends in a tie.
I think this pretty much qualifies as win-win from a standpoint of laughter.
I SOOOOOO hate the P*ts, and they are going to kick the shit out of the Stillers.
On another note:
Ewww. Feet.
Owwww. Feet.
— R. Ryan
tony atlas has entered the chat
These games can end in a tie?
Just turned the tv back on so I can watch the Pats game and the fucking Cards and Lions are still playing!?!? Holy shit!
They’re trying to make the Week One tie a new tradition and we’re all rooting for them.
Amendola must be in on it.
JOAN JETT FUCK YEAH
I’m rooting for a meteor or Bane to show up with a kidnapped scientist.
All my life up till 2001 season, the other teams I hated were dominant and my team sucked ass. For the last 18 years, my team has been dominant. I’m almost tired of it. Almost.
Things have never been the same since Robert Kraft subverted the league by doing 9/11
I thought Trump did 9/11 because he was pissed off about not being able to buy the Bills.
Pete Carroll has the weirdest boner right now
Not a boner anymore. Coincidentally the team shampoo has a weird consistency.
He could never be that organized or not interfere is he delegated it to someone who was that organized.
If Trump was the mastermind of 9/11, those planes would’ve landed safely on the roofs of the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and that field in Pennsylvania.
No, he was pissed off about not being able to pay his bills. But then he discovered just how lucrative it can be to launder money for Russians.
Trump: “You’re going to win so much, you’re going to get tired of winning!”
Patriot Nation: “HA! I didn’t know he had a fahking sense of humor!”
Washington Union Station concourse, 1908:
Washington Union Station concourse and basement, 1953
Washington Union Station concourse and basement and mezzanine, 2019:
PRR GG-1 locomotive 4876 was repaired and put back into service and still exists:
The six P.M. from Penn Station has arrived.
Before we even begin, I apologize for this game.
Praying for an earth-killing meteor.
I call it a Without Warning.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J4pfT2qLb4
The Bud Knight Platinum is going to nail the queen this season, isn’t he?
I mean, wouldn’t you?
Which queen? Because no one is fucking Pence.