It shouldn’t be this way. We should be happy. The Browns look like a very watchable, exciting team this year. The Cardinals are conducting an experiment with a dynamic rookie that may take the league’s obsession with the passing game to new heights. Equally interesting is what the Ravens have planned for LAMAR! The Chiefs caught lightning in a bottle and the team is an offensive juggernaut and must-watch TV. I was honestly looking forward to this year…
And then the fucking Pats signed fucking Antonio fucking Brown. With Edelman, Thomas and Gordon, they’ve now got the most talented wideout crew in the league. So now we’re going to see a shit-ton of goddamn wr screens. (I don’t know why this isn’t illegal) So many it’s going to make our eyes bleed. And this is going to further slow fucking Tom Brady’s decline as a qb. Fuck. Another year of running the table in the AFC East against those hapless franchises. And of course the Pats get yet another fucking cakewalk to their conference’s title game. And no matter who they face they’ll inevitably get some help via one or two dicey calls from their teammates on the reffing crew.
And as legit fans of the sport (and our numbers are dwindling-wonder why) we’ve no choice but to watch it all unfold as though it were foretold. And the league loves this! They eat this shit sandwich up and ask for seconds, and thirds. Whatever. TO THE GAME!
Steelers/Patriots:
Go fuck yourself, NFL and the Pats. The fucking End.
Matt Vasgersian: No one does the hit-and-run play anymore
Yankees: (who have done this literally all year) /run the hit-and-run play
Vasgersian: WRITE THAT DOWN
Me: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck Youuuuuuuuuuuu
He sucks so much
Date night, revisited.
Hate it when Cthulhu shows up without calling.
That’s about right. If anyone wants me, I’ll be in the kitchen, eating trash cake and chain smoking.
https://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2019/09/08/early-mutiny-in-miami/
AB may be ushering in a new era of player empowerment (to be swiftly and mercilessly crushed in the next CBA.)
I had forgotten how cursed the comments of that site are.
Dammit Spur, that was for your eyes only!
Dammit Spur, that was for your eyes only!
Welp…..
OK, wait. Wait.
What’s going on back there?
Twice the opportunity. Don’t ask questions.
I’m gonna guess a fucked up panoramic photo
Legally, that sign can no longer be posted outside of the coaches’ offices in Oakland.
That’s just what a guy with a dinosaur would say.
Yeah, but Crazy stuck his dick in her.
I started McDonald over DeSean Jackson in my flex position
DeSean Jackson looks better than I remembered.
Katelyn Byrd
/turns over to football game
Oh good, Collinsworth is still doing his dumb shit aw shucks routine
//turns off TV
///drives a stake through the TV just to make sure
That explains my prostate pain anyway.
You had one job, nu-center
Giraffes are kinda rude.
Fuck you. No, fuck you. No no, fuck youuuuuu.
The fuck was that?
Never thought that was a good fishing spot.
Some of y’all might have wondered how many times better the P*ts are than the Yinzers, even without AB.
Turns out, the answer is 11.
2/10 Looks like she would stab me.
She was on a show with Denis Leary, (surprise! he plays a burned out drunk), so yeah, absolutely.
WORTH IT!
12/10 Looks like she would stab me.
That’s one way to shave.
REAL MEN IRON THEIR DICKS!
WAS THAT A QUEEF OR A FART??
Does that really matter at this point?
Good point.
.
That’s not DAK DAK DAK
Dak won’t rape you in a bathroom.
Either literally or metaphorically
It’s really funny how Ben’s ugly ham mug breaks up the otherwise pleasant thread of pictures here.
Oh, Yanet …
Kelly Clarkson could take on a blocker
Shit. I’m all out of “That’s my fetish!” gifs.
Ah, nothng like starting my fantasy day out with 70 points from Mahomes and Watkins and then getting literally less than half that from everyone else.
In fairness to our Oriole and Tiger fans, the Yankees owe Jacoby Ellsbury $26 million for the next two years, (operating under the very safe assumption that they’ll buy him out in 2021), and I’m almost certain he died two years ago.
Hey, he rehabbed inside so you know he’s close!
/The Thairo Estrada got shot and still got off the IL before Ellsbury joke is my favorite
This game is some of the most brutal BDSM porn I have watched in a while.
Lucky. I’m way behind on my catalog.
I’m surprised Troy didn’t dive at Mahomes knees
Don’t forget The Forty-Four-Year-Old Steve DeBerg
8-year old Buddy was at that game! He looked old as fuck.
https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/199810250nyj.htm
— Trent Green
WCS: “I’m not used to watching both of my teams get blown out on the same weekend.”
Wifey: “Get ready.”
She is spot on. Again.
Pegging going to be the third blowout for you this weekend
/checks score
Antonio Brown ISN’T playing tonight, you say? Why even play out the rest of the season? Hieronymous Bosch already painted that tryptic.
Nerd
Ok, time for the Brady decapitation
Hmmm….should I play as Germany, Greece, Korea, or China?
CHINA IS ASSHOE
Germany for the Tanks.
Greece. Nobody expects the rear attack.
This is funny.
It’s all Greek to Balls.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-J3G-YyVJwmw/UR5VotQxp1I/AAAAAAAAAq0/_u2S7qsryh8/s1600/just-the-tip.gif
+15 Cultural (excuse)
Depends on what flavor of world domination you’re going for.
North or South Korea?
Best Korea obviously (I have no idea how that became a thing).
Oh wow, they changed England around with the new version, going with that on an Island Plates map
Post Brexit?
Korea and China for easy tech and Medieval range attack bonuses
Aaron Rodgers is not gay! They legally don’t allow gays to touch the Lombardi Trophy!
Then again I was on sherm in Canton and tried to stick the thing up my ass… oh well, I was able to make a mold of Warren Moon’s hand and use it for things
You can always tell the exact moment when Buddy’s amyl nitrate kicks in.
I’m almost out of fentanyl punch!
Just in case you were worried about your team’s salary cap, the Detroit Tigers, who are dead last in the entire majors, owe Miguel Cabrera $180 million through 2025.
It’s really sad to see how much he’s declined
I assume this guy can hit, pitch and field?
Sort of, not at all, and barely,
Total bargain.
At this point he can’t do any of those things but there’s not a chance in hell he’s going to retire.
I’ll do everything in my power to set my sons up to be MLB players.
I tried. Fucking kid insisted on being right-handed.
Who will then buy half of Detroit
Anyone but Dan Gilbert
The Orioles are giggling….but only a little.
Hang on while I look up Chris Davis’s contract…
Grrrrrrrrrrr
The Orioles owe Davis $69 million through 2022.
Nice.
Yup. And stupid fucker can’t learn to wait and go the other way against the shift.
It’s really pissing me off.
I think it’s not so much patience that Davis has a problem with, but with teams “testing” his patience*, if you know what I mean.**
*blood
**steroids. I mean steroids
Could be. But it’s more that he’s just stupid.
You give me $69 million to play shitty baseball for three years and I’ll CTE myself against the windows of the short bus all day long.
LMFAO
/Bobby Bonilla lights his third cigar of the night
//Bobby Bonilla orders his third bottle of Hennessy of the evening
That’s the greatest player contract ever. Don’t the Mets owe him about a million a year until like 2030?
2035
This gets funnier every year. Dude was retired when I started watching based ball.
Lol nice story https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/27078321/happy-bobby-bonilla-day-why-mets-pay-119m-every-july-1 messed up tag
Glad to contribute.
Holy shit. The Braves are still paying Bruce Sutter and will be through next year!
I was listening on the radio during the drive home. I’m not gonna watch the end of this, Civ 6 here I come!
Kevin Harlan’s voice gets me turgid! More like Westwood Seven!
I’ve already listened to more football on Westwood one this year than watched from all sources. I suspect it’s going to be that sort of season, what with prime time being early as all hell on the west coast
I just listen because he gets me harder than a tungsten encrusted diamond!
Already there Glorious Nippon will not let me down like the Dolphins
Why am I still watching this?
#MondayAvoidance
— myself during ever WVU game in any sport
— myself after walking in on my parents 5 minutes ago
Holy shit.
A nice rack is a nice rack no matter where it’s attached.
Go on …
Daddy taught me a lot in those few moments.
Evergreen
Clearly CTE-‘ed color commentator Tunch Ilken just said, “Holdin’ them to three is a big deal! We can still get this!”
If by, “Loss,” he is correct.
Tunch Ilken? Who’s the play by play, Mike Uhnstinkx?
A guy I follow on Twitter is doing a bit where he threatens to kill people who are already dead and he’s still getting rule violation notices lol
say hi to Snow for us!
To be fair, they could be zombies.
It’s ok to lose if you maim Brady.
15 minutes for redemption.
I went to Bed Bath & Beyond yesterday to get travel supplies and I was assaulted with pictures of Brett Favre:
This one’s weird because it’s like a mirror image:
This might be Favre, not sure:
I didn’t look in the douche aisle but his face might be there too.
He’s just having fun out there, throwing around the Summer’s Eve mesquite flavor
Imma go shop somewhere else I think.
I’ve got an extra small for her.
Wait, did I say that out loud?
The beard trimmer is great as long as you don’t want more than an inch.
What’s with the “Lincoln” call, Brady?
Guess it’s just down the road from Omaha, anyway…
North Platte! North Platte! Hut!
I was about to bitch at Belichick for not giving Sony Michel a chance, but now I realize he had 9 carried and did fuck-all, so I really can’t blame Bill for sitting his worthless ass.
Joe Biden candles also come with an unwanted hug for an underage relative
I have passed five kidney stones in my life, three without ER help. I’ll take that over this. At least it’s not a playoff game. Yet.
At least as a Steelers fan you could detach early from this one. Meanwhile the Bears remained within one score for an entire game so you could never justify turning it off even when it felt like they had no chance.
I can not fathom why this exists or who would want it
What does Joe Biden smell like?
I’m thinking Vanilla mixed with body odor.
Vicks and Ben-Gay.
Book it.
With some hints of Polident
NEW CAR SMELL
Dementia
Did someone say Trudeau?
GO FOR IT YOU FUCKING LOSERS.
Dad?
Pennywise?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Gt_mz34-Fo
FUCK OFF JUJU BEE
“Brett Gardner’s got some snapper in him…”
And some Turinabol, some Winstrol, some Andro…”
Good week to be lame, my league allowed me to bench my QB and Kicker to assume higher week one waiver priority so losing is in baby
My team overachieved so far. And I’m still gonna lose.
But I still have hope in my kicker and defense.
Yes, I am laughing.
Right there with you. My opponent is going to put up 170 against me, with DeSean Jackson’s 31+ sitting on the bench.
If the Stillers would put Connor back in I might be alive.