Balls On Your… Michelada

Sharkbait’s Friday Cocktail series is one of my favourite recurring posts on this site. In last week’s installment, Moose brought up a brilliant idea, which I think Sharky will explore in an upcoming post. Namely, the idea was to explore a drink and all the different variations that can be done with it.

That led me to think about all the different variations that can be done to a Michelada. For those of you that don’t know, a Michelada is a Mexican cocktail in which beer is the primary ingredient. Like the Bloody Mary, the main ingredient is about all that anyone can agree on. There are limitless variations that can be done to make a “Michelada”.

I’m going to leave the actual mixing of the cocktail from scratch to Sharkbait.

In this post, I want to focus on the different varieties of Micheladas or “Chelada” drinks you can buy at your local 7-Eleven, grocery store, or liquor store, depending on where you live.

Hey, I’m the guy that made Cincinnati chili by buying the can online. You’re not getting Yeah Right’s from-scratch gourmet food or Sharkbait’s from-scratch craft cocktails from me.

Before I begin the taste test, let’s dive into a bit of history of the “Michelada”.

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History of the Michelada

Per Wikipedia, there are two origin stories to the drink. The least interesting one relies on a portmanteu (ain’t I fancy!) of three words: “mi”, “chela”, and “helada”. Together, “mi chela helada” means “my cold beer”. Chela being Mexican slang for beer. That one makes logical sense, but doesn’t ring true to me. There are many slang words for beer in México and “chela” is one that was/is pretty popular in a specific region of the country, not the entire country.

The second mentions a man named Michel Ésper, who was a fan of a soccer team in San Luis Potosí, located northwest of México City. In the 1960s, he would go to the games and, instead of ordering a beer from a bottle, he would ask the bartender to pour it into a glass usually used for lemonade and have the bartender add lime juice, salt, ice, and a straw. They started calling it “Michel’s lemonade”. Since the word for lemonade in spanish is “limonada” and because Mexicans colloquially shorten phrases to make one word, in spanish this became “Michelada”.

That origin story rings truer to me.

As bartenders are wont to do, they experimented and added different chili powders, spices, and mixers to make their “own” version of the Michelada. I’m sure one intrepid distributor looking to increase sales suggested to a bartender to include Clamato in the drink and it proved to be popular. This is probably why you have a clam juice drink combined with beer.

Yet, it works.

The list of ingredients added to make a Michelada are almost endless. You have Worcestershire sauce, Salsa Maggi, Tabasco, soy sauce, chile piquin, chamoy, tomato juice, Clamato, chile peppers, orange juice, shrimp juice, mango juice, and many others that are added in different versions of the drink.

Today, I’m only going to focus on the commercially-available pre-made drinks you buy in a can. Please note that these are all usually sold in Tall Boy cans (24 or 25 fluid ounces), not regular 12 oz portions.

The Competitors

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Modelo cheladas

There are three cheladas made by Grupo Modelo, which is a Mexican subsidiary of AB/InBev that also brews and bottles the Modelo, Corona, Victoria, Pacífico, Montejo, León, and Barrilito brands. They all use as their base the Modelo Especial, which is an American Pilsner style beer. They come in three versions:

  • Limón y Sal – which is closest to Michel’s original cocktail
  • Chelada – with tomato juice, lime, and salt
  • Tamarido Picante – which takes the regular Chelada and adds tamarind and chipotles.

I’ve had them all and I enjoy them all. Each is a different experience. The Limón y Sal is definitely saltier and tartier than most beers, but that’s the point. The tomato in the regular Chelada gives a nice contrast from the tartness of the lime and the saltiness that comes with the added salt. To me, it balances that combination perfectly so that it produces an extremely drinkable cocktail. Let’s put it this way: You can drink this baby all day.

The Tamarindo Picante adds the two elements of sweet and spicy to the mix. It really depends on what you want in a cocktail as to whether you will like this drink or not. Some people can’t stand sugary drinks. Others don’t want a drink to be spicy. I find that this one provides a hint of each without overdoing it on both counts. The spiciness and sweetness certainly do not overpower the drink although they are definitely present.

Verdict: Modelo have hit a home run with these formulas. I’d say to try the Chelada version first and then the others for comparison.

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Estrella Jalisco cheladas

Estrella Jalisco is another Grupo Modelo product, owned by AB/InBev. It was originally a regional beer served and distributed only in the Mexican state of Jalisco, whose capital is Guadalajara, Mexico’s second-most-famous city. The Estrella Jalisco versions come in Mango Michelada and Spicy Piña Michelada flavours and they come in both Tall Boy and regular-sized cans.

Interestingly, neither is brewed in Mexico. The can says “inspired by” and it notes that the beer is actually brewed by Golden Road Brewing right in Rikki Tikki Deadly’s backyard. It seems they have mimicked the recipe for Estrella Jalisco pilsner and have used the Estrella Jalisco name to market it. The Spicy Piña version uses pineapple juice (obviously) and adds Clamato Picante, which adds the spice. Now, right off the bat I’m going to tell you that I am not a big fan of clams. My dad loves linguini with clams but I can’t stand it. He thinks I’m weird. I probably am.

Now, given that, I do not mind clams in my foods or in my drinks as long as they are part of the dish/drink, complement it, and are not the dominant flavours. I have the same relationship with mushrooms. Put them on a pizza where they have an opportunity to mix with the other ingredients and I’m fine. A dish based primarily on mushrooms? No thanks.

As such, I will tell you that the Clamato Picante is VERY noticeable in this drink. So is the pineapple. When you combine the two, you get a sweet and really spicy clam taste and I had enough of that with my last girlfriend thankyouverymuch.

As for the Mango version, the clam juice is gone, which is a good thing, but they’ve more than made up for it with a shit-ton of mango juice. Now, I will readily admit that I have a sweet tooth. I love pies and ice cream and cakes and pastries and cookies. This drink was too fucking sweet. I wanted to brush my teeth afterwards.

Verdict: I would suggest you stay away from these two choices. Their origin smacks of some marketing genius’ idea of how to cash in on the “michelada craze” and the products taste of it.

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Bud Light cheladas
Budweiser cheladas

You may have already started to notice a trend and see that Micheladas are usually made with American pilsner-type beers. There is a reason for that. With all the different flavours present, you don’t really want to use a beer that will overpower everything else. If anything, you want a beer-like liquid in which you can add all kinds of ingredients without worrying about ruining the beer.

Enter Bud and Bud Light.

Seems like a natural marriage, right? In practice, however, the results are not as good as the theory. Each variety comes in regular and Spicy variants with the Bud Light version adding one with extra lime and another one with mango flavour.

Instead of tackling them one by one let me just state that I think they made a big mistake by adding Clamato to all of them. Yes, I know it’s a Big Beer thing and synergy and all that shit, but Clamato is an OPTION, not a requirement!

In fact, Bud Light is actually the perfect beer for a michelada. It’s cheap, it’s watered down, and it won’t take away from the other ingredients. Make me a Bud Light chelada with tomato juice, lime, and salt and I’m a happy guy. Actually, I encourage all of you to make your own! Get a can of tomato juice from the store, a sixer of Bud Light, and some fresh limes and go to town. I guarantee you it will taste better than all of the Bud Light pre-made cheladas combined.

The short version:

  • The Mango version is too sweet and the clam is too overpowering when the drink warms up.
  • The Bud versions are just higher calorie versions of the Bud Light varieties. Stick to the lighter ones.
  • All of the Bud Light versions are passable, but the Clamato is too strong in the mix. Yes, I understand that there is no other flavour there to offset it, but that’s why I think adding tomato juice would help.

Verdict: Leave it to Corporate America to take a wonderful idea and fuck up the execution. Then again, they don’t care as long as the profits are rolling in…

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Sol chelada

Now it seems like someone listened to me in the above paragraph because the Sol chelada is exactly what I wish the Bud Light cheladas would be. They include the clam juice, but they also add tomato juice to balance out the flavours. That makes all the difference in the world.

Sol is one of the brands of Cervecería Cuautehmoc, from central México. It is part of the MillerCoors family in the United States. It is an easy-drinking lager which was first brewed in México in 1899. They also make this version:

which I think is another step closer to Michel’s original vision.

Verdict: While I have not had the plain plain limón y sal version, I HAVE had the original version and it is delicious. The clam is more muted and the flavours complement each other well. I would recommend you pick one up if you find it in the store.

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Finally, we get to the Tecate micheladas. Tecate is brewed in the Baja California town of the same name and is also part of the Cervecería Cuautehmoc family. They brew two versions: the original and the “Diablo” which means “devil” in Spanish and is supposed to be spicy.

Truth be told, Señor Weaselo would scoff heartily at this claim as I was easily able to drink it and I found it really wasn’t too spicy at all. In fact, it was very delicious! The Diablo comes with tomato juice which helps to calm down the heat from the chilies. The regular version does not contain tomato juice, just spices, which I think in a weird way makes it more spicy than the Diablo version.

Maybe my palate is all fucked up. I don’t know.

Neither version contains clam juice, which I definitely appreciate.

Verdict: These two are good solid choices, although hard to find. If you see them in the local store, pick one up. You will not be disappointed.

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Overall verdict:

My favourites are Modelo Chelada, Tecate Diablo, and Sol Chelada. The Bud Light varieties will do in a pinch if you don’t mind the taste of clams in your beer cocktail.

In conclusion, the Michelada is a beer cocktail of contrasts.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Unsurprised

The perfect accompaniment:

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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(Finally! It worked)

WCS

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Sharkbait

I do plan on trying Moose’s suggestion. I just need to decide which cocktail I want to break down and experiment with.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe a vodka one, or at least one that is does not have sweet added, so as to reduce hangover potential. A couple of friends and I did this with B-52s once and the next days was atrocious.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If it was a brilliant idea it is not mine, I just restated someone else’s.

SonOfSpam

you get a sweet and really spicy clam taste and I had enough of that with my last girlfriend thankyouverymuch

Enjoyed this way more than I should have.

And your final sentence is the proper way to end a post.

Salud!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You just leave the glazed doughnut-esque on your face and go into work.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tomato juice is trash

Game Time Decision

read this just after 9 am my time and wanted to start drinking these. well done

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Excellent write-up. Also, I never expected an article on DFO to mention “clam” this many times and have only one double entendre. Your self-control is admirable