Your “Your Ink Is In My Briefs” Friday Evening Open Thread



An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.

I’ve been rather busy and stressed and, yes pissed off, over the past couple of months.  Allow me to explain.

When I filed for divorce from my ex-wife, now more than six years ago, I prepared and filed the documents myself.  And also when I prepared my will a few years ago, and also my late grandfather’s will as well a few years ago.  He’s ded now.  I didn’t get anything.

But seriously….sort of…

I’m not a lawyer but I play one on TV.  Well at least while sitting next to the TV usually.


A few months ago during the summer, we had a family get together during which several of my cheapskate family members somehow learned of this and asked me to help them with their legal stuff.  Which loosely interpreted means “We don’t want to pay a real attorney and also we’re not gonna pay you”.  How did they learn of it you might ask?


One divorce.  Three wills.  Zero Billable hours for tWBS.

(there was also talk of taxes, but I ain’t doing that shit….I ducked the IRS successfully for years now and I’m not stopping now)

((yes, that is a joke))


Meh, what else do I have to do?  So I said yes against my better judgement, to draw up these documents.  And I began asking them how they wanted things structured, etc.  Boy did that go wrong in a hurry.

One draft after another.  Always changing their minds about certain things, then changing them back.  I’ve never been closer to a murder/suicide moment in my life.  And some of the things they wanted to change, I honestly wasn’t qualified to know if they were technically legal.  Fortunately a friend of the family is an estate attorney in town.  He graciously allowed me to access his law library pro bono.  But he did laugh at me more than once for taking this on.  Can’t say I blame him.

So I finally get all these documents finished after about one and a half months.  Which all things considered I thought was pretty good considering what a dumbass I am to begin with.

But I did still have to coordinate timing so the subjects can sign the documents, they can be witnessed and notarized, and then filed in the courthouse.  And besides being general idiots, they live in three different counties.  (Translation:  Three different courthouses) ….  But still, I’ve agreed to do this and I’m going to get it done.  So I go to print the documents, after which I’ll make the necessary phone calls to coordinate the timing of the court filings.

The documents print out….

(wait for it)

….in very light pink ink.

My black cartridge was ded.  The color isn’t far behind.  And I’m supposed to meet one of these folks at the courthouse later that afternoon.  And there’s no way in hell I’m going to try to file legal documents at the clerk of court printed in light pink ink.  So off to the store I go.

So now, not only am I not getting paid, I’m spending my own money for these assdicks.  But I hit the store and buy a new HP 61 two pack (Black and Color) and come home and install it.  Then try to print again.  While the pages are printing I figure I’ll go eat lunch.  And I did.  New England style Clam Chowder and a grilled cheese.  ‘Twas good.

About a half hour later, I go back upstairs to organize the different documents.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy from here on now and…..  AAH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

The black cartridge was defective.  It had spewed black ink all over every page, and even a little bit onto the desk.

But in for a penny, in for a pound.  What choice do I have now?  Back to the store I go.

To their credit, they did exchange for a new set of cartridges FOC, even though I didn’t actually bring the color one back.  So now I can print twice the number of pretty colorful pictures I guess.

Sadly, to me at least, they didn’t laugh when I asked them to come clean my desk off.  I guess they didn’t think it was funny.  I did though.  And I did also have to buy a new ream of paper.

The last of the court filings was completed earlier this week.  I’m free.  But let me tell you something.

You lawyerly types have a very tough job.  When I was drafting briefs for myself years ago, it was simple.  But dealing with other people and their stupidity?  You have my respect.  But at least you get paid for it.  I hope.

But at least I know my printer cartridges work now.  I think.

/checks printer

Yep we’re good.

I now return myself to my normal life of being a lazy asshole who drinks too much and watches too much TV.

/falls asleep

A Very Random Thing

This video was sent to me earlier today by someone whose name is totally NOT Brocky ….as far as you know.  We both thought it was funny.  So even though it doesn’t fit the theme, I’m still forwarding it to you sickos.  As Brocky pointed out to me, pay attention to the dog and his wanting the sandwich.  If you can.  But I bet you can’t!!!!!

Sports To Add Color To Your Night 2Nite


  • Washington @ St. Louis – 8:00pmEDT – TV: TBS


  • Anaheim @ Columbus – 7:00pmEDT – TV: NHLN

Full Schedule


  • Utah @ New Orleans – 8:00pmEDT – TV: NBATV

Full Schedule

College Football

  • (20)Virginia @ Miami(FL) – 8:00pmEDT – TV: ESPN
  • ColorAdo State @ New Mexico – 8:00pmEDT – TV: CBSSN
  • ColorAdo @ (13)Oregon – 10:00pmEDT – TV: FS1

College Hockey

  • Air Force @ Notre Dame – 7:00pmEDT – TV: NBCSN

Sexy Ink

Yep, in case you hadn’t figured it out yet, this was all heading towards sexy girls with tattoos the whole time.

Now, full disclosure, I am not a huge fan of tattoos.  I have no ink personally and don’t expect I ever will.  But I don’t judge.  If that’s what you want, that be you.

A girl with a small bit of ink on the ankle or wrist?  Maybe the hip.  Or even the shoulder area.  I can deal with that.  But when it gets overdone, then it becomes….  Well …. overdone.

And I know that’s only my own opinion.  I also know some of you disagree.  Which is totally cool.  We’re all different.  And this week’s theme is for you weird freaks who like that shit.


As I said above….

To each his or her own.  But if I have to spend hours reading and interpreting and listening to the explanations for why you’ve done this to yourself, I’m gonna lose interest no matter how attractive you might otherwise be.  Just me.


OK, perhaps I misspoke earlier.  At least this guy has principles.  Though I seriously doubt he eats at Subway particularly often.  I also kinda wonder what’s on the other side we can’t see.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Love ya’s.

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Approaching Smacked City:


Australia was indeed the winning strategy

Senor Weaselo

“You missed out on the will.” -Gianni Schicchi

yeah right

DFO Request Line: Our next caller is from Carslbad-ish and he requests a song from these guys…

And he had this fucked up friend who shot lightning bolts out of his ass.

Col. Duke LaCross