JV NFL Saturday – Finally Meaning MOAR

Dunno if you were with us last weekend, but it was pretty dire from an entertainment perspective.  And Lesser Footy is on another interminable international break.  Thank fuck the footy g-ds have blessed us with some tasty matchups this 12 October.

Oklahoma (-10.5) v. Texas @ Cotton Bowl, Dallas, TX (Noon, Fox)

Ah the good old Red River SHOOTOUT, where one can’t possibly ever set the o/u high enough.  Unless Hippo tries to bet it, which he ain’t.  Winner takes yuuuuuuuge lead in the Big Twaaaaalve race, and the spot for bitching about Notre Fucking Dame getting in the playoff ahead of ’em.  Boomer Sooner.

Mississippi State (-6.5) at Tennessee (Noon, SECN)

Man alive, my long ded granddaddy (that’s the nicest person I ever met, not the raycess one) would have hated to see his beloved Vols laid this low, where one watches much like how one watches a gruesome traffic accident.

Alabama (-17) at Texas A&M (3:30, CBS)

Finally, a team that MIGHT make Roll Damn Tide at least have to try.  But I still don’t expect much in terms of breaking a sweat.  The likes of Jimbo Fisher ain’t gonna beat Nick Saban, especially when he has lesser talent on hand.

Michigan State (+10.5) at Wisconsin (3:30, BTN)

God, I can’t even remember how long it has been since I previewed a BTN game.  The league generally sucks and/or is uncompetitive, but gets outsized teevee coverage.  Sparty has been iffy so far, but this seems like the kind of matchup that they win, and fall back into anonymity afterward.

Washington State (-1.0) at Arizona State (3:30, PAC-12)

0-2 Wazzu is favoured in the desert, against a ranked opponent.  Look, everybody knows Herm Edwards is eventually reverting to the mean.  Sooner rather than later.  Plus, I thought they avoided daytime games in AZ, due to not wanting folks to die out there?

Texas Tech (+11.0) at Baylor (4:00, FS1)

This line is ridiculous, unless BayBay really started to pay-pay again.  Heavily.  Or there was a massacre on the Guns Up!! campus.  I try not to watch the news that much.

Iowa State (-10.0) at West By God Virginia (4:00, ESPN)

Again, that spread.  On the road?  No.  Just no.  Maybe WCS will get happy daytime whiskey for a change?

Ole Miss (+12.5) at Missouri (7:00, ESPN2)

One of those quasi-random matchups that I have a funny feeling will entertain.  My track record ain’t great in this genre (as in most).

Florida (+13.5) at LSU (8:00, ESPN)

Finally, the good stuff.  I really like contests like this, under the lights in an insane place, with strength against strength.  In this instance, you are talking about LSU’s prolific passing game against Florida’s lockdown pass defense.  Methinks people are still lending too much weight to how bad UF looked in their opener, but it seems like every game with Miami turns into a mutual diarrhea fest.  This team can play, in that fundamentally sound Dan Mullen way.

Utah (-15.0) at Oregon State (8:00, PAC-12)

Will Team Secular Big Love be a little hard on the (Niiiiiiiiiice) Beavers?  Vegas sure thinks so.  I think I disagree.

Wyoming (+3.5) at San Diego State (10:30, CBSSN)

Coming down off the swamp-based sugar high, there is this little Mountain West tweaker matchup.  These teams both REALLY want to run, and control time of possession.  Each has a Power-5 scalp to their resume, so I think it merits one’s attention.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Horatio Cornblower

Evening post up, folks.

Redshirt

Wow! Alabama has a punter?!

LemonJello

They grab whichever soccer player is nearest the bus when they leave for the game.

Redshirt

BLEERGH is really raining down His Fury upon JV Houston.

Redshirt

comment image

Redshirt

Per ESPN 47th-string Color Commentator, a Quarterback running directly out-of-bounds with his foot going down out of bounds can be knocked 10 yards out-of-bounds and into the kicker’s net because he was still technically “in bounds”.

Redshirt

Now he got his helmet knocked off. I guess this thing policed itself.

LemonJello

Is the ref for Clemson/FSU an albino?

LemonJello

Spent the afternoon sampling beers from the greater Fredericksburg, VA craft brewers and now I’m watching Son of Clem re-enact the Seminole War. HOW THE FUCK WE DOIN’, MEN?

Redshirt

Ohio State isn’t playing. I’m busy trying to find the purpose of today in the bottom of a pint of ice cream.

ArmedandHammered

Was the Center of the Universe Brewery there? That’s the place my son works for.

LemonJello

They were. I’ve had several of their offerings, not a bad one in the bunch.

ArmedandHammered

Well, if there was a 6 ft 4 in tall, very hefty young man with a full beard, it was probably my son.

ballsofsteelandfury

@Yeah Right: There’s an Al Michaels YUUUGE difference between the effect of milk consumption and beef consumption on climate change. One cow can provide a LOT of milk per lifetime. It can only provide a relatively small amount of beef per lifetime. Hence the need for more cattle.

Keep drinking the milk and stop eating steaks if you’re that concerned about the issue.

Redshirt

A veggie burger isn’t that bad. Besides, if we ever travel to Mars or beyond, they’re not gonna to be loading cows into the pantry.

theeWeeBabySeamus

‘Member back when Florida State was good at teh footballing?

LemonJello

Pepperidge Farm ‘members…

theeWeeBabySeamus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyfriipc61A

– University of Georgia Bulldogs

yeah right

Off to the movies. Going to see Joker to brighten up my day.

Wakezilla

Great movie!

Here’s my problem with most of the critics…

Many critics: “I’m a life long Joker fan and I like him having a multiple choice life. However, I hated the Joker movie because it’s dark, too violent and he has a multiple choice life.”

Makes you want to bang your head on a table for how stupid that take is

Redshirt

My take:

“Its hyper-violent and he’s too psychotic!” – Critics

Its THE JOKER! What did you expect?! That’s like complaining that sex scenes in Adult Movies are getting in the way of the plot.”

Horatio Cornblower

“They didn’t even show the toppings on the pizza that was accidentally delivered to the sorority house!”

yeah right

I most humbly decline to concur, good sir.

ArmedandHammered

No, no, the density of smugness could cause a smugness singularity that might actually rival the smugness density of New England, causing instability in the space time continuum Dr. Who could not repair.

Redshirt

I respectfully disagree. Besides, we already had a NYM/NYY World Series. That’s enough.

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t give a shit who wins the NL; I’d just like the see the Yanks somehow get past Houston.

scotchnaut

“Alabama is merching down the field.”

-Crimson Tide Marketing Team

scotchnaut

“Georgia? No longer on our mind.”

-Playoff Committee

Horatio Cornblower

Here come a miss

Horatio Cornblower

Nailed it!
-Blair Walsh
-Also me, jinxing kickers

Horatio Cornblower

I did not.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, there’s the replay. Gotta say it looked more like he was praising Jeebus, who, in the QB’s mind anyway, is white as a sheet.

Redshirt

I thought he was signaling three because its a field goal.

Horatio Cornblower

“Antonio Brown hopes to return to the NFL”

And the Titanic hoped to make it to New York.

Unsurprised

He committed sexual assault. It’s not like he knelt during our stupid national anthem in a ceremony paid for by the DOD.

Redshirt

…and I hope to know the touch of a woman.