Your Sexy Soccer Saturday Early Morning Open Thread

Due to Halloween happening on Thursday this week and our talented writers regaling you with their spooky tales, I did not do a Thirsty Thursday soccer preview post this week. As luck has it, though, King Hippo was unavailable to do this morning’s soccer post, so here we are. I will combine the two and we’ll take it from there.

Before I begin, I want to give credit for all the hot lady soccer fan pictures to the Fútbol Babes Twitter account. Those folks do the Lord’s Work and deserve a follow from you.

***

EPL Tipping Pool Standings

PlaceTipperRound TipsRound MarginTotal TipsTotal Margin
1Son Of Spam625312
2BALLS415211
3Mr. Ayo625113
4Litre_cola715116
5Reverend Mayhem525116
6nomonkeyfun715117
7KBS52624814
8Joliet Jake Delhomme514815
9Game Time Decision304713
10Fronkenshteen604717
11Wakezilla614720
12bk109504616
13Yeah Right514220
14Spur524222
15Maestro304115
16Don T303816
17King Hippo313818
18Herodotus503316
19Sharkbait303321
20BFC303115
21Horatio302914
22Blax302927

There was quite a bit of movement all over the ladder with Son of Spam taking over the pool lead. Congratulations to Litre_cola and nomonkeyfun, who got top scores this week with 7 correct tips!

***

Weekend Schedule

I’m being told that Canadian viewers only need to sign up for DAZN and they can get all the coverage of all the world’s fútbol leagues in one place.

***

In the US, NBC holds the rights to the EPL, so you’ll be able to see games on their networks and the NBC Sports Gold package. Here are the games on tap this weekend (all times Pacific and home teams always listed first):

Friday, November 1, 2019

No game scheduled

Saturday, November 2, 2019

5:30 AM – AFC Bournemouth v Manchester United

8:00 AM – Arsenal v Wolverhampton Wanderers

8:00 AM – Aston Villa v Liverpool

8:00 AM – Brighton & Hove Albion v Norwich City

8:00 AM – Manchester City v Southampton

8:00 AM – Sheffield United v Burnley

8:00 AM – West Ham United v Newcastle United

10:30 AM – Watford v Chelsea

Sunday, November 3, 2019

6:00 AM – Crystal Palace v Leicester City

8:30 AM – Everton v Tottenham Hotspur

Monday, November 4, 2019

No game scheduled

***

In the US and Canada, BeIn Sports is the rights-holder for La Liga, so you can find all the games there. Here is this week’s schedule (all times Pacific and home teams always listed first):

Friday, November 1, 2019

No game scheduled

Saturday, November 2, 2019

5:00 AM – Espanyol v Valencia

8:00 AM – Levante v Barcelona

10:30 AM – Sevilla v Atlético Madrid

1:00 PM – Real Madrid v Real Betis

Sunday, November 3, 2019

3:00 AM – Real Valladolid v Mallorca

5:00 AM – Villarreal v Athletic Bilbao

7:00 AM – Osasuna v Deportivo Alavés

9:30 AM – Celta de Vigo v Getafe

9:30 AM – Leganés v Éibar

12:00 Noon – Granada v Real Sociedad

Monday, November 4, 2019

No game scheduled

***

Liga MX games are aired in the United States on TUDN, and the varied Univision networks. Fox Sports Deportes also has selected games (all times Pacific and home teams always listed first):

Friday, November 1, 2019

6:00 PM – Puebla 1 v Pumas UNAM 1

8:00 PM – Atlas 1 v Atlético San Luis 2

Saturday, November 2, 2019

4:00 PM – Querétaro v Tigres UANL

6:00 PM – América v Santos Laguna

6:00 PM – Monterrey v Veracruz

8:00 PM – Necaxa v Pachuca

Sunday, November 3, 2019

10:00 AM – Toluca v Guadalajara

5:00 PM – Juárez v Tijuana

6:00 PM – León v Morelia

***

In the United States, Fox Sports has the rights to the Bundesliga, so you can find games on the Fox Sports networks. Here is the weekend schedule (you know the drill..):

Friday, November 1, 2019

12:30 PM – Hoffenheim 3 v Paderborn 0

Saturday, November 2, 2019

7:30 AM – Borussia Dortmund v Wolfsburg

7:30 AM – RB Leipzig v Mainz 05

7:30 AM – Bayer Leverkusen v Borussia Mönchengladbach

7:30 AM – Eintracht Frankfurt v Bayern Münich

7:30 AM – Werder Bremen v Freiburg

10:30 AM – Union Berlin v Hertha BSC

Sunday, November 3, 2019

6:30 AM – Fortuna Düsseldorf v Köln

9:00 AM – Augsburg v Schalke 04

Monday, November 4, 2019

No game scheduled

***


BeIn Sports is the rights-holder for Ligue 1. Luckily, BeIn Sports has like 8 channels through their BeIn Sports Connect app, so you can see most of the games live:

Friday, November 1, 2019

12:45 PM – Dijon 2 v PSG 1

Saturday, November 2, 2019

9:30 AM – Olympique Marseille v Lille

12 Noon – Nîmes v Rennes

12 Noon – Metz v Montpellier

12 Noon – Toulouse v Olympique Lyonnais

12 Noon – Angers SCO v Strasbourg

12 Noon – Amiens SC v Brest

Sunday, November 3, 2019

6:00 AM – Bordeaux v Nantes

8:00 AM – Nice v Reims

12 Noon – Saint Étienne v Monaco

***

ESPN has the rights to Serie A. All games are available on the ESPN+ package:

Friday, November 1, 2019

No game scheduled

Saturday, November 2, 2019

7:00 AM – Roma v Napoli

10:00 AM – Bologna v Inter

12:45 PM – Torino v Juventus

Sunday, November 3, 2019

3:30 AM – Atalanta v Cagliari

6:00 AM – Genoa v Udinese

6:00 AM – Hellas Verona v Brescia

6:00 AM – Lecce v Sassuolo

9:00 AM – Fiorentina v Parma

11:45 AM – Milan v Lazio

Monday, November 4, 2019

11:45 AM – SPAL v Sampdoria

***

As I like to say on the AFL Beat:

DON’T FORGET TO PUT THE FOOTY TIPS IN!

Le fin

Enjoy the weekend!

(134/69)

***

Litre_Cola’s Obscure Footy Club that Hippo probably bets on.

After a week hiatus due to a runaway drunk weekend we are back. WELCOME TO HELL. 

Today we are looking at Galatasaray S. K. from the European side of Istanbul. When 1st introduced to the European game I was made aware of these lunatics as I saw highlights of them taking on their arch rivals Fenerbahçe. 

Founded in 1905 by students at Galatasaray High School they have become the giants of Turkey.  From Wikipedia “According to researcher Cem Atabeyoğlu, Galatasaray took its name from one of its first matches. In that match, Galatasaray won 2–0 over a local Greek club and the spectators called them “Galata Sarayı efendileri” (English: “Gentlemen of Galata Palace”), and, after this incident, they adopted that name and started to call their club “Galata Sarayı”. In 1905, during the era of the Ottoman Empire, there were no laws for associations so the club could not be registered officially, but, after the 1912 Law of Association, the club registered legally.Since there weren’t any other Turkish teams, Galatasaray joined the Istanbul League that was consisting of English and Greek teams in the season of 1905–1906. With their first championship title they won in 1908–1909, they heralded the beginning of Turkish football history

Gala always seems to be the Turkish representative in the Champions League and has a huge advantage playing at home as their stadium Türk Telekom Stadı. It holds 52 thousand lunatics who just love fighting, flares and destroying their own stadium in battles. In 1999-2000 they completed the rare quadruple by winning the UEFA Cup (Europa League), Turkish Cup, Turkish League, and UEFA Super Cup (I don’t know what that is). 

Hell, why? Due to the lunatics that reside there on match day. The largest firm is UltrAslan which was founded in 2001. Their arch rivals on the Asian side is Fener and those derbies are insane. If you like watching battles the definitely go down that rabbit hole on Youtube. Their rivals on the European side of Istanbul is Beskitas and it is just as heated because they have had a bunch of money dumped into them recently. Beskitas has no problem with LGBTQ people which is a rarity in Turkey so my 2 gay buddies support them, therefore so do I. MY friends would leave Scotland and head back to Turkey and not be able to be together for longer than say, dinner. They were fucking married. Crazy fans? To the video!

Chills. This is support. 


Thus far this year they are not performing like the ultras would like. and through 9 games they are currently in 7th with something called Alanyaspor in 1st. The club has plenty of Turks but as always the Turkish League has guys who are bit long in the tooth and other European castoffs like Ryan Babel, Steven Nzonzi, Falcao, Jean Michael Seri (on loan from Mighty Whitey) and Ryan Donk. In the how the hell did you get here file we have Norwegian Martin Linnes.

Fulham plays Hull City. The Canadian Championship 2nd leg is today. A BOTG will follow. Go Cavs, we are down 1-0 and the league is plotting against us.

BONUS!

Here is your reminder to put in your tips for the NFL Tipping Pool and for the DFO Eliminator Challenge. Links are below:

Tipping Pool: https://mobile.footytips.com.au/competitions/?ff=ladders&competitionId=575837

Eliminator Challenge: http://fantasy.espn.com/nfl-eliminator-challenge/2019/en/group?groupID=56874

After Week Eight, there are STILL 6 Commentists left in the Eliminator Challenge. In addition, WhyEaglesWhy chose the 49ers on Thursday night, so he’s already locked in to survive another week.

The Final Six remain: Blister Pig, WhyEaglesWhy, Mr. Ayo, Spur, Col. Duke LaCrosse, and BeerGuyRob. Good luck!

As for the NFL Tipping Pool, here are the standings:

PTipperRound TipsRound MarginTotal TipsTotal Margin
1Son Of Spam1397972
2Litre_cola13778109
3Reverend Mayhem1207768
4King Hippo1217684
5Yeah Right1077382
6Game Time Decision10107389
7BALLS1347296
8Maestro101071103
9Don T121071104
10The King in Yellow1337071
11Fronkenshteen11147091
12Sharkbait10107095
13Why Eagles Why1366973

There was a lot of movement in the bottom of the ladder. Congratulations to the five tippers that got 13 out of 15 games correct! That’s pretty good. Please remember that you get a 2 point bonus for picking all games correctly, so you can catch up quick!

As I mentioned above,

DON’T FORGET TO PUT THE FOOTY TIPS IN!

***

Hippo’s JV Footy Fixture Preview!

NC State (+7.5) at Wake Forest (Noon, ESPN)

Winston-Salem (a town full of grumpy old white assholes) is where Wolven dreams historically go to die.  But this year, it’s the Deacs who have dreams, and NC State who is hoping to go .500.  Will that turn the tables on history?  Fuck and no.

Michigan (-22) at Maryland (Noon, ABC) 

The early window is ridiculously weak, and those who don’t live in North Cakalaky should likely stick with Lesser Footy (this is JV NFL, for those new to our nomenclature).  Still don’t believe in Lesser Harbs, and they will be overconfident coming off their pasting of Notre Dame.  But ain’t nobody Fear the Turtle in football season, except for those that don’t want to take their impending dump in public.

Georgia (-6) v. Florida (3:30, CBS)

Huzzah, it’s The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party time, and both sides are quite good for a (recent) change.  Winner stays alive in the playoff conversation, until Roll Damn Tide or LSU kicks their teeth in, come December.

Kansas State (-5.5) at Kansas (3:30, FS1)

The purveyors of last week’s Big Twaaaaalve upsets square off, for bragging rights in that empty, garbage dump of a state.  They did at least refuse to elect aspiring Nazi Kris Kobach Governor, to be fair.

Miami (+3) at Florida State (3:30, ABC)

Remember when this rivalry was meaningful?  HINT – such highlights are exclusively in standard definition.  Winner probably sneaks into the Weedeater Bowl or some such shit.

Utah (-3) at Washington (4:00, Fox)

Now THIS is some solid football right here.  Team Secular Big Love lurks on the edges of playoff consideration, but I find it almost impossible to imagine someone emerging from the PAC-whatever with only 1 loss.  Classic “defense v. offense” battle, with the Huskies boasting an NFL-calibre QB…and fuckall else.

SMU (+6) at Memphis (7:30, ABC)

The Pony Express has returned to national cromulence, giving me hope that NC State could do the same in hoops (cue the laugh track).  Winner likely gets the “short bus” New Year’s Six bowl invite.

Oregon (-4.5) at Southern Cal (8:00, Fox)

The left coast is at least giving us some plausibly ok matchups today.  But I don’t buy Quack Attack QB Justin Herbert as an NFL prospect, nor do I think much of the Troi Boiz.  But if you can’t take a late nap, these are around.

BYU (+3) at Utah State (10:00, ESPN2)

Batten down the hatches, it’s Romney against Romney!  We always like to highlight at least one late night “tweaker” fixture, as Hippo doesn’t look down on y’all smackheads nor Godless PST dwellers.  Original Recipe Team Big Love has been up and down all year like the stock market (I guess, I don’t follow the stock market – ah am a liberal and don’t understand moneys), while Team Secular Big Love State has a really intriguing NFL QB prospect in Jordan Love.  Plus, one assumes MOAR black guys.

Enjoy the games, everyone!

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Horatio Cornblower

Being a TE at Florida has to be the lowest bar for success at any D-1 school: “Look, just don’t kill anyone, or at least keep it under 3, and you won’t be the worst Florida TE of all time.”

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Florida trying to run the clock out

Horatio Cornblower

I’l watch almost anything with Walton Goggins in it, but a CBS sit-com is a just a bridge too goddamn far.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

I would if it Was a remake of the Golden Girls with Goggins as Dorothy

herodotus450
herodotus450

Walton Goggins: (Blows up bridge). “Your move.”

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Dorothy’s dental dam blows up: ‘ your move’

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Worst Trask performance on screen so far since the last Fantastic Four movie

Horatio Cornblower

“Quick slant” Search term for Balls repeatedly requested by one B. Parcells.

tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

Every time I’m reminded that Fromme is still at Georgia it reminds me of the feel I always had about Gerry McNamara. It seemed like that guy was a guard a Syracuse for a decade and the NCAA never looked into it.

Horatio Cornblower

The NCAA didn’t look into a lot of things at Syracuse over the decades.

Horatio Cornblower

“This could go both ways”

Balls search term

WCS

2nd and 34? JV NFL BLITZ!

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Sure we’ll see worse tommorow with Jets v dolphins

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Ends in a negative point tie

WCS

Loser is relegated to the XFL circa 2001.

tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

Holy shit Florida, feels like I’m watching Rutgers play.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Don’t jump!

tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

I have no concern for either team, but a 19-yard sack on first down is some Jameis Winston shit.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Rodrigo Blankenship is a very MXC name

herodotus450
herodotus450

Loser of Georgia-Florida gets kicked out of the Union, right?

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Since Trump is declaring residency here I hope it’s is Fl for once

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Wonder if Trask throws a int will CBS play a Less Than Jake song

Gratliff

I don’t think I’ve ever hated anything as much as the last 5 minutes of The Strain S3.

Gratliff

5 minutes into S4, I’m ready to retract that statement

Gratliff

holy shit did this ever go off the rails

King Hippo

Hippo warned ya…

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Yeah thought about watching last season hoping it would be better but just left it at naaa. Kid is like Coral squared

Gratliff

I hate him for all the reasons, intended and otherwise

Horatio Cornblower

I stopped watching The Walking Dead after Season 2, but I came back just to watch Coral die.

That’s when you know you’ve created the worst character imaginable.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Kicker for Georgia glasses
comment image/revision/latest?cb=20181223231601

BC Dick

Hot damn, spaceballs has come up twice in one week. We’re bringing it back! It’s finally happening!

Senor Weaselo

POTENTIAL BATTLEBOTS BEAT UPDATE POST: So the Russian guy who bought the MegaBots bot on eBay for $170K had no intention of paying (once again, a cromulent metaphor to the U.S. today), so it’s back on eBay.

Paul Ventimiglia (builder of Bite Force) is threatening to buy it if it’s absurdly cheap (currently available for the low low price of just over $2000, plus S&H).

scotchnaut

V Tech up on the Scissor Lift Sisters!

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Shitty Comcast remote that takes two clicks to go to last channel.

scotchnaut

Big City guy is gonna keep the small town sawmill open! A dozen non-union jobs have been saved for at least a year! Truly a Christmas Miracle Whip!

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

3rd down either side of the ball and Gators going to fuck up

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I converted all of this week’s quotables for the newcomers to share.
comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
WCS

comment image

Gratliff

Suppose I should’ve used my “Darby Failin” comment from Twitter.
comment image

WCS

Good to see Dabo Dabo! DABO! (that’s Clemson for you newbies) really challenging themselves today, taking on noted powerhouse Wofford.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

With a name like that I have to assume their star player is Air Bud, Golden Receiver.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Washington trying to make a counterpoint to Tyler Huntley and Utah

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Been making Hurricanes recently and now im

https://images.app.goo.gl/7uw1aP6FwtjxShH26

King Hippo

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

comment image

WCS

Seeing that soccer banner, this is obvious:

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Walked 15 miles this morning, I feel like I got caught in a bathroom stall with Ben Roethlisberger.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Gave up on the next 485 miles in your tribute to the Proclaimers

bk109
bk109

Or the Hooters?

Dunstan
Dunstan

Nice deep cut there. You Zig-Zaged that one.

scotchnaut

I’m not gonna lie-I love French’s mustard. I’m willing to overlook the fact that they collaborated with the Nazis’ German mostrich. They didn’t have a choice.

King Hippo

#JustFollowingOrdersSMH

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Got to have to spicier, just saw some random Twitter trends about horseradish being underrated and it got me thinking of mustard and horseradish combos

Senor Weaselo

Boar’s Head makes a really good white wine horseradish mustard. It clears shit out.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Mmm see if I can get Publix to put it on the next Chicken Tender sub. They gave a Chipotle Gouda cheese that has a good kick

King Hippo

Rooting FOAR Florida Men, because I think they give Bama a better game than UGA would.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Plus, Gainesville, home of Tom Petty and most of the Heartbreakers.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

BRICK’S CANADA REPORT

Here’s a dyslexic Vietnamese restaurant in Montreal which commemorates one of the U.S. Army’s greatest victories over enemy women and children in its long and illustrious history:

comment image

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Massacre your hunger

WCS

I’m laughing an inappropriate amount at this.

King Hippo

feed you long time

scotchnaut

“Go for it!”

-Cilliam Walley

Dunstan
Dunstan

No, no. They’re inviting British sailors to “come in, limey!”

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Shoulda called it “Tet.”

scotchnaut

Guy: “My wife passed away.”

Girl: “That mustabin tough.”

Guy: “Yah.”*

*actual dialogue from “A Nostalgic Christmas”

Dunstan
Dunstan

You just don’t recognize brilliantly efficient screenwriting when you see it! In just a few lines, we establish that the guy (1) has been married before, so he’s a Good Guy and not afraid of commitment; (2) his marriage ended through a tragic death, not through any fault of his, so he’s available but still a Good Guy; and (3) he’s just sensitive enough to admit feeling pain, but macho and gruff enough to not talk about it at length.

It’s like Hack Writing 101.

scotchnaut

Show us where on the script where the writer touched you, Dunstan.

Dunstan
Dunstan

In my heart. Right in the heart.

scotchnaut

[hugs Dunstan]

“I’m here for you. I always will be.”

Dunstan
Dunstan

*sniff*
Could you… could you just say “it’s not your fault” over and over again?

scotchnaut

I mean, I could, but I think you bear a fair amount of the responsibility.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, I mean, we don’t want to lie to you.

Dunstan
Dunstan

Fine. I’ll just keep listening to the first half of Margaritaville over and over again. Like every Saturday afternoon.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

his marriage ended through a tragic death, not through any fault of his, so he’s available but still a Good Guy;

We don’t know that. He could have had her in a cage in the basement and forgotten to feed her.

Dunstan
Dunstan

Well, if he forgot, then it’s not intentional and he’s still a good guy, right? I mean, we’ve all done that.

Horatio Cornblower

He could be Belgian.

King Hippo

GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL, Commintern FC!!

scotchnaut

Female Protagonist is wearing a cherry-red dress. I believe this is Christmas code for “presenting”.

bk109
bk109

Wake us when they reach the implied missionary boning / tasteful dimly lit dry-humping sesh (if the show wants to be “risque”).
Edit: FULLY CLOTHED dry humping sesh

scotchnaut

[watches a toothless, alcoholic Jackeen bang his mother face-to-face instead of doggy-style]

“It’s a Christmas miracle!”

-bk109

bk109
bk109

Uh, no.. A Christmas Miracle is to catch Die Hard and Die Hard 2 on broadcast telly COMMERCIAL-Free with the kiddos…. (commercial-free)

scotchnaut

You say crisps, I say potato chips. Let’s call the whole thing off.

Senor Weaselo

Commando and Die Hard, since the idea for Commando 2 ended up becoming Die Hard

bk109
bk109

Eh, Didn’t like Commando all that much to be honest. If I’m substituting Die Hard 2 with something from Arnie’s catalogue, then by Jebus – I’m going with True Lies…

Edit: Also, I find it fucking hilarious that the first guy that portrayed John McClane was Frank Sinatra (and pretty sure his contract with the studio gave him first crack at Die Hard, but he wisely passed on it as he was too old for the role 😀 )
Edit2: Sorta portrayed John McClane – http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/03/frank-sinatra-originally-offered-leading-role-die-hard/

scotchnaut

Frank realized that, at his age, if he couldn’t make it in Die Hard, he couldn’t make it anywhere.

Senor Weaselo

Commando is my favorite Arnold movie, because there’s so many one-liners.

bk109
bk109

Lame one-liners… If you’re gonna go the Arnie one-liner route – PREDATOR

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t the point that they’re lame one-liners?

bk109
bk109

Sorta, but Predator finds the golden ratio of lame and corny to make them actually fun… stray a little in either direction and you end up with the cringe-fest that was Mr. Freeze’s lines from that abortion of a Batman movie…

BC Dick

Predator is right in that sweet spot. The arm wrestle hand shake with appolo creed is pure gold cinema. No to mention sexual tyrannosaurs.

BC Dick

How hot is Rae Dawn Chong though? In commando. I haven’t seen her recently.

Senor Weaselo

I would’ve thought the Christmas miracle would have been not the most vanilla position for a change.

Dunstan
Dunstan

Is she starting to realize that her fancy high-status job in the big city doesn’t make her as happy as she would be bearing babies for this humble blue-collar small-town man with a heart of gold?

Senor Weaselo

One of my students and I mocked this throughout her lesson. Except the PG version because said student is in 8th grade.

scotchnaut

These movies (in Canada) are featured on The Woman’s Network. You Go “make babies for your man” Girl!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

I’m starting a company called 23andMeToo where you can find out the ancestry of your favorite sex pest from the crime lab samples.

herodotus450
herodotus450

“Congratulations! You share 99% DNA with a lifeform we found on Rob Gronkowski*”
*:We didn’t even do the test, we just know this is true already

King Hippo

If I was a trust fund asshole, I would do nothing but fund Buddy’s flights of fancy like this.

Senor Weaselo

He wouldn’t even have to #sticktosprots!

King Hippo

Big Rom scored to equalize at the shitheel Bologna racist fucks

King Hippo

and converts a stoppage time penalty to win it!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Time to go watch Bob’s Burgers until UGa/UF starts. Gotta clear the DVR anyway, and these early games suuuuuuck.

King Hippo

WE HAVE FLARES!!!

King Hippo

like, 3000 of the fuckers, too

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sounds very not dangerous.

King Hippo

I need to visit East Berlin, holy shit

blaxabbath

I’m gonna start a football league that is nothing but kickoffs.

scotchnaut

Eastern Michigan is in Ypsilanti-which sounds like the home planet of a Kurt Vonnegut character.

Barkerville Trapmouth found himself on Earth for no reason whatsoever and was missing the blue-black colored sideways sunsets that occurred every seven years on Ypsilanti.

blaxabbath

I’ve got Tiny House Nation on as I work on mod podging and storing this puzzle. It’s a very bad show. But my real point is this: Women, not making plans and just being doing everything last-second and without forethought isn’t being “fun” or “free” or “spontaneous”, it’s being a fucking chore.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am very much enjoymenting watching UMd losing 35-0 at home, even if it does have to be to Michigan.
And as I’m typing that we get the turtles with a 97 yd kickoff return foar TD.

WHY CAN’T I HAVE NICE THINGS?????

scotchnaut

The reason? I believe The Divinyls said it best-

King Hippo

I would kill each and every one of you if Kate Abdo squeezed my hand and asked nice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gotta be teh shoulders.

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t be the hips.

scotchnaut

Ahh, the sacrificial soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend has made an appearance in this Hallmark Xmas movie. If he was in Star Trek he’d be wearing a red uniform.

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Ensign Smith, you’ll beam down with us.”

The hell I will!!!!

scotchnaut

It was just a coincidence that he was trying to organize a union. Just like the last guy.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Apparently Berlin is the Cleveland of Germany, because there’s a bunch of garbage on the field and no one cares.

herodotus450
herodotus450

They even have an annoying drum that is somehow allowed to go during play. Sorry Dresden, there’s a new town in town.

King Hippo

GOOD NEWS, Comrades! FS1 is showing our beloved Communist brethren (Union Berlin) in their first-EVAR Bundesliga Derby against Capitalist Pig-Dogs Hertha.

King Hippo

their home crowd’s chanting is fucking awesome.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Big Hertha

scotchnaut

“I have a rich, fulfilling life.”

-He said, while switching back and forth between “The Plan for Christmas” and Buffalo/Eastern Michigan

bk109
bk109

And Arsenal shat the bed again… Goddamn it, I am REALLY missing ol’ Arsene right about now – we still wouldn’t actually win anything of note, but at least we wouldn’t be winning while giving the ILLUSION of being competitive…

King Hippo

You think it was boo-worthy? The abuse was raining down at the final whistle.

bk109
bk109

It was “pack your shit and GTFO” worthy…

King Hippo

trade managers with Everton??

bk109
bk109

Eh, we’re not that desperate .. yet

Horatio Cornblower

I, for one, am a big fan of Unai’s offensive strategy of having 2-3 guys run into the same space and stay there so that one defender can take on all of them while they take turns trying to dribble through each other without tripping over their own dicks.