Dontcha love ready-made excuses? I myself have used, “The water was really cold”, “Uh, sorry. I guess I drank too much”, “The dog ate my computer”, “It was like that when I got here”, “I didn’t know where the plunger was” and many, many others. Hey, let’s take a wander over to…
Fallout:
-After tossing the oblong thingy for 444 yards yesterday, certain squawkers are making the case that DAK! is an MVP candidate. These ramblings are almost exclusively located in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.
-Truth Biscuit has been diagnosed as having a hip pointer but that prolonged talk Nagy had with him on the sideline reeks of, “You’re sucking really hard right now so I’m going to pull you because we might do better with a career backup. Please try not to suck this hard next time you’re under center”. Hey, speaking of speculation and hips…
-According to sports news snippets all over the internet, Tua had successful surgery on his…you know. (has anyone ever had an unsuccessful surgery, ever? I mean aside from Meg Ryan) Those in the speculating game have tossed out their obligatory “HOW DOES THIS AFFECT THE DRAFT SIX MONTHS FROM NOW?”
-Is there a crack in the armour? The Pats run game is a shambles, the tight end spot is a wasteland and Brady’s passer rating under pressure is a miserable 48.5. Much like those footballs back then, Dreamboat must feel deflated when he contemplates those numbers.
-That Falcons D that was as easy to score on as your mom after three beers? They’ve been replaced by a solid unit (a preference of your mom’s, btw) that has surrendered a mere 12 points in the last two games. Huh.
TO THE GAME!
Chiefs/Chargers:
The Chargers are the ‘home’ team here in the same way that L.A. is their ‘home’ in that it is such in name only. They practiced up at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs to get ready for this game. You can pretty much count on Rivers float-ceptioning a few this evening because he is who he is. A wise OC would give rb Gordon the rock 25+ times against K.C.’s 31st-ranked run D. That would slow down the game and give ex-San Diego its only real chance at a W.
What are your tried and true excuses?
Oh, boy. I just realized the post-game interviews might end up being hilarious.
Technically not lucha libre
Meanwhile, me
Fuck’s sake. Didn’t Boomer die yet?
#NotOKBoomer
He’ll die with the Ok, Boomer meme.
Hopefully.
Ivanka’s quote from this weekend?
Peyton! Brady! It’s a charisma-fest!
I totally forgot, but as an aside, Dolemite Is My Name is really good.
I also finished Bret Easton Ellis’s nonfiction book, White. Also very good.
And now for the Genesis Halftime show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPNa3b_6pNs
Matron Saint is extra kissable at altitude.
Think I speak FOAR us all, we are much happier with Big Black Richard inside our game thread
HUZZAH!!!
Agreed. It’s always better with a big black Dick inside.
Wait, let me rephrase that.
WE ALL FLOAT UP HERE
Halftime questions for self:
1. Should I cook dinner yet?
2. Edited for content (might have something to do with masturbating).
3. Should I take a nap?
4. Should I go ahead and get drunk?
5. Wait, what the fuck was I trying to figure out?
1. After the game
2. Jerk off instead
3. You can’t drink while napping
4. Duh
5. There you are!
Dinner, drink, masturbate, nap
FLAGS FOR THE FLAG GOD
Had he caught that, I doubt they even get the kicking team on el pitch
The NFL seems extra stupid in the thin air
The nice thing about the altitude at this game is that Rivers’ passes are extra floaty in the thin air.
How far can PGA guys drive a ball here? 400 yards?
Notah Begaye trained at 1 mile up in Albuquerque. So add … 20%? 25%?
Kelce please
Is that the feral kid from Mad Max 2?
One of H.I. McDonough’s boss’ horrible kids. Pictured here moments before said boss, Glen, yells “HIT THE DIRT, BOY!” and fires a handful of M&Ms at him. Raising Arizona is so goddamn good.
Live from new delhi
Coming Soon to L.A.
Kolin Kaepernick has big hair.
That is all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZklwTGZ
(Locker room) Cancer…………and my name is Rivers.
Ok, I’m clearly out of practice on posting Youtube videos here…..
Welcome back!
teammates at NC State hated him too
You on The Mobile?
Nope.
Sooooo…you’re just sitting still?
It’s this indo, man. That couchlock struggle is real!
How’s it hanging?
An interview with Manning and Brady would only be salvaged by a crazed Dan Marino stabbing them both wearing isotoner gloves
Finally, a legal defense fund I can believe in
ANOTHER injury. Boy, I hope they have decent narcotic painkillers in this country.
Secure mirror
Her nickname is now Molly and that’s final.
That would be an interesting premises liability case if she were a little slower
Liability waivers a mile long
Only people that would be happy to have Bezos be their boss are part of the redacted organization
Moar booze? All the booze!
EVERY BOOZE
Is Viva or Balls around? How much for a black market liver in Mexico?
Hong Kong protesters have cratered the market
You buying or selling?
Asking foar a friend.
I told you, no more hamster organs!
NOT EVEN THE PENIS???? COME ON MAN!!!!!!!
ESPECIALLY not the penis. Mr. Trump was VERY upset with the results…
Why, Melania was quick to say she finally felt something the last time.
2007?
YMMV. I think it depends on how much alcohol it has cumulatively filtered in one’s life. Since mine has processed enough alcohol to float a battleship, it’s pretty worthless.
Man I hope McFarland mentions the Honey Badger a couple hundred more times. Though maybe I expect too much from a grown man who refers to himself as “Booger.”
Moco McFarland is my name false identity name
Ok, no shit. Your username might be my favourite in like evar.
I’ll have you know that ‘Booger’ is a family name…
His cousin Loogie has it worse.
He seems to be doing okay as a voice actor
Williams ded
No worries. We got Shady. I need Shady to get 200 yards and 3 TDs, so this works out.
Blame the turf even though it’s first field goal missed in so long
https://images.app.goo.gl/j3dwJ3Lz98Jr7Ykg8
el gato?? LOS GATOS!!!
Hey, there we go.
Thanks foar the pussy assist.
I’m like Magic that way, without the AIDS
dude, you ought put that on your bidness cards!
Sonofabitch. I gotta go to desktop now to fix this.
Fuck you stupid phone.
I replied with the right gif but it’s in moderations.
Surprise cameo by the Cutlers?
Floatastic Voyage
Rivers: RED…RED…WE’RE GOOD
Everyone else: Eh…..
So…Ramen Noodles vendors?? NOW I SEEN TODOS DE LOS THINGS
con lemon. tasty when you’re drunk
plus, IMAGINE the markup! NFL gon’ be all over that
32 cents at food lion.
si, es verdad!
/I bought for my kids until they found the super-spicy ones at the Korean grocery
Funny story about Naito in the corner there. He does a taunt where he holds his eye open, because when he was touring Mexico, fans used to do that to him to mock him for being Japanese. When he started growing in popularity, he started doing it as a shot at the fans because it turns out Mexicans can be horrible racists too!
Tranquilo. Assenayo.
And it always seemed extra stupid (the taunt, that is) since, of all the guys on the New Japan roster, Naito has some of the roundest, widest eyes of anybody (including the non-Japanese). Now, LIJ is bigger than the original Ingobernables, so seems like he had the last laugh.
Well, Andrade is blowing up, but most won’t know him as La Sombra. For a while on NXT, he was coming to the ring in the mask, but it didn’t last long. Him and Rush still do the Los fist before their matches too, I believe. Not a lot of Ingobernables merch that isn’t LIJ out there though. I’ll have to rely on my Perros Del Mal shirt I got for my Pentagon costume last year for hipster cred.
Yep, most of the merch is LIJ these days, but I do hope that perhaps, now that Naito has made LIJ huge, maybe NJ could bring over the original Ingobernables someday, either as part of a “Naito is torn between his old buds and LIJ” angle or in some other capacity. (Naito’s Twitter feed is still largely in Spanish, so still much love for la raza from him.) I’d wear the hell out of an original Ingobernables shirt if I could find one in my size for not-ridiculous money.
But, now that the Time Bomb is back, my wrestling-merch funds are gonna be tied up for a while. 🙂
https://www.mandatory.com/wrestlezone/news/884919-daryl-takahashi-says-hed-embarrass-kenny-omega-in-the-ring-comments-on-bad-luck-fales-attack-what-2017-holds-for-lij
Mexican and Hispanic racism overall is quite something
Bad year to be an American with 20 kids in Mexico
Bad year to be an American with a conscience
Notice how that story went away. I called BS on the 1st report. No way the cartels would kill those people unless the family was up to something.
The Mormon characters in James Ellroy’s Underworld USA trilogy were a bunch of criminals.
Indeed. The cartels don’t fuck with Americans unless it’s business.
Badger del Honey!!
Is Booger hoping to be named godfather to one of the Rivers’ spawn with all this lavish praise he’s heaping on King Laserface?
Mike Williams, still ass.
But you were uhsposed to say it in Mexican.
Phil Rivers still ass ass ass ass.
/there’s an echo in here
Ass
There we go. Balls has been summoned.
We all noe about el superioridad de los asses Mexicanos
Just like any time any one goes down on River’s wife.
“Huh? What’s that?” -Philip Rivers
One more and you’ll summon Balls
Donde esta Pelotas? I wanna know which LigaMX fanbases most resemble Chefs/Clips
Hey, it’s a punt inside the 10. What could go wrong? Oh right. Thanks other guy on my team whose name I don’t know.
(watching Avengers: Age of Ultron because I make poor life choices)
Since Force is Mass times Acceleration, if Quicksilver punched Captain America while running at hyperspeed, shouldn’t that have vaporized Cap’s head?
Yes.
Flash once punched another speedster halfway across North America.
y los grinos say soccer is low-scoring ay yi yi
Gooooooooooooaaaallllllll!!!!!
Will be presenting the rest of my comments in the form of Mexico’s most sacred art form
Livestream on my phone appears to be a minute or two behind whichever way y’all are watching.
FAT GUY PICKERCEPTION!!
/pronounced Mexican
//sorry EL HOMBRE GUAPO PICKERCEPTION!!
I forgot the accent. I was too excite.
BE MOAR SENSITAVO, POR FAVOR
EL GORDO, but GUAPO isn’t extraneous
Fat guy pickerception!!!!!!