Dontcha love ready-made excuses? I myself have used, “The water was really cold”, “Uh, sorry. I guess I drank too much”, “The dog ate my computer”, “It was like that when I got here”, “I didn’t know where the plunger was” and many, many others. Hey, let’s take a wander over to…
Fallout:
-After tossing the oblong thingy for 444 yards yesterday, certain squawkers are making the case that DAK! is an MVP candidate. These ramblings are almost exclusively located in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.
-Truth Biscuit has been diagnosed as having a hip pointer but that prolonged talk Nagy had with him on the sideline reeks of, “You’re sucking really hard right now so I’m going to pull you because we might do better with a career backup. Please try not to suck this hard next time you’re under center”. Hey, speaking of speculation and hips…
-According to sports news snippets all over the internet, Tua had successful surgery on his…you know. (has anyone ever had an unsuccessful surgery, ever? I mean aside from Meg Ryan) Those in the speculating game have tossed out their obligatory “HOW DOES THIS AFFECT THE DRAFT SIX MONTHS FROM NOW?”
-Is there a crack in the armour? The Pats run game is a shambles, the tight end spot is a wasteland and Brady’s passer rating under pressure is a miserable 48.5. Much like those footballs back then, Dreamboat must feel deflated when he contemplates those numbers.
-That Falcons D that was as easy to score on as your mom after three beers? They’ve been replaced by a solid unit (a preference of your mom’s, btw) that has surrendered a mere 12 points in the last two games. Huh.
TO THE GAME!
Chiefs/Chargers:
The Chargers are the ‘home’ team here in the same way that L.A. is their ‘home’ in that it is such in name only. They practiced up at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs to get ready for this game. You can pretty much count on Rivers float-ceptioning a few this evening because he is who he is. A wise OC would give rb Gordon the rock 25+ times against K.C.’s 31st-ranked run D. That would slow down the game and give ex-San Diego its only real chance at a W.
What are your tried and true excuses?
Dios me Rios.
Hahahaha
numero quatro!!!
Another one
Bloodhound hit 628mph today
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
I think that replay shows definitively why he has so many children.
This may be my favorite comment of all time. It is just sublime.
Surprised Williams was considered to have made that catch since his shirt was untucked at the time.
Hunter Henry has 69 receiving yards. Someone wake scotchy!
And Gronk!!!
WTF. Los Rios esta muy funny.
This is going to end up as a big wet fart.
Edit: Goddam delay.
Edit again: Bet they still fuck this up.
Mike Williams just bailed Rivers’s ass out.
¡Que Beuno!
Madre de Dios!
Rivers needs to approach the closing seconds of games with the same precision and intensity he approaches the closing days of Tiffany’s fertile periods.
yeah, I sure would love playing OL for Laserface
GO FOR IT OF COURSE
¡Rivers 2 minute drill alert!
he somehow seems to be going even slower
I really need to make some yellow water. I would appreciate him hurrying this up.
Everyone on Mexico City impregnated in a 30 mile radius
I call this game Mahomes revenge because the chargers can’t stop his runs
Why are they letting these slow children play on the same field as Mahomes?
Isn’t this some United Way/Special Olympics charity matchup of some kind?
It’s part of the NFL’s outreach to disabled people and/or remaining Chargers fans.
“Chargers fans” Do those words go together?
“I can’t imagine what Chargers fans are thinking right now,”
Chargers…fans?
When the levee breaks the Rivers overthrows
What is Spanish for “Laserface”?
cara de láser
Puta
“Hydranto de fuego de spermatozoa.”
Two years of spanish entirely so I could laugh at this one joke which honestly I could probably have put together without the two years
I never took any Spanish, but do have some Italian (quasi lo stesso/casi igual) and have been speaking non-grammatical Tex-Mex to undocumented workers for 45 years. It’s really pretty intuitive.
¡cambio repentino!
Arriba!
How will Phillip’s fuck this up? There are so many possible ways!!!
Edit: That wasn’t very unusual, not much variance from the mean.
Welp. There go McCoys ribs. It’s time.
/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/2000?cb=20161112120531
¡tiempo de flotación!
https://thehardtimes.net/harddrive/nostalgic-bill-gates-visits-garage-where-he-first-had-idea-to-be-born-rich/
Can absolutely deny what Dak Prescott is doing
37-10
I did when someone tried to trade me him for Aaron Jones
Yeah below
Float the deep ones, laser the screens. CLASSIC RIVERS
¡La Chancla!
Still better than any throw by Rivers.
That’s better than any throw this weekend!
Fake. It’s CG. Sorry boys.
Don’t make me bring out the Kelce gif again
Well then you shouldn’t have filmed it.
Really disappointed in the lack of people throwing bags of piss at the Spanos family.
Oh, the game’s in Mexico? Well, even more so.
Oh, you think bags of piss are your ally, but you merely adopted the piss. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man; by then, it was nothing to me but blinding! The excrement betrays you, because they belong to me.
Dean Spanos
Goddamn. Is there a limit as to what we can fit in the banner? Asking for Dean Spanos up there.
No images. Otherwise, the limit’s been pretty open
Drederick Tatum might be my favoUrite minor Simpsons character.
“Conditions were…irrevocable.”
yo quiero donde los bastardized espanol will change our internet ads?
I haven’t seen anything for Boys Towns or donkey shows in Piedras Negras or Ciudad Acuna. So far, anyway.
¡flotación!
Haven’t seen a bailout in Mexico like that since 1995
Nope
More like Walter Mattheiu with those hands
OK bitches, time for Baby Jail. If someone stabs someone on the field, text me. Otherwise, OUT
Philip Rivers apparently didn’t get the memo about it being a bad time to go to mexico when you have a large family
The Chargers and Broncos switched fax machines
Still tracking my KelcePOINTS, despite the win being certainamente. Because I’m an asshole, you see.
¡VIVA!
I guess given the NFL geography tonight, it’s appropriate to re-post this even at such short remove.
Man, Tebow really let himself go . . .
And switched hands! He’s so lucky for his god given talent.
#blessed
Acordian > mariachi > regular MNF theme song
Where’s Sergio Dipp?
He really should be the honorary sideline reporter esta noche.
Slow Poke Rodregez, he carry a gun.
MS-13 obvs!!
They’re Salvadorans
exaactly y we NEED WALL
These are Salvadoreanite gang thugs:
Apparently the thin air makes tackling hard
Williams el otra para seis!
KICK THE FUCKING BALL IN THE AIR
OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE I MADE LADYBUGS!
BLEERGH!
Feasting south of the border
Can’t remember how to do it in html and not going to look it up
[upside down exclamation point] BLEERGH!
¡BLEERGH!
¡VIVA!
Domo arigato, goziemasu. It’s definitely more effective that way.