Your “I Need This One Bad, Mate!” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

Just over the horizon I can see the fantasy playoffs looming and those of you at 5-6 better get your collective shit together sooner rather than later. Perhaps you should take a flyer or two on some high upsiders, I mean what you’ve been doing so far hasn’t exactly worked has it? Just a thought…

TO THE GAMES!

Bucs/Falcons:

Tampa has given up an average of 3.5 scores thru the air over the last four weeks. They’ve had all year to fix this and nothing has been done. I don’t get it. Rb Brian Hill went busto last week and will likely do the same again vs. a Bucs squad that is stout against the run. Atlanta’s D has shown signs of turning it around lately but I think Evans and Godwin are going to remind them of some hard truths today.

Broncos/Bills:

Let’s get these youngsters the frickin’ ball, shall we? Both Singletary and Lindsay have distanced themselves from their backfield competition using their their lively legs. Let them run, damnit! It’s a small sample size but qb Allen seems to trust te Fant these last two weeks and that fantasy position is a wasteland. You could-and probably will-do worse than him.

Giants/Bears:

Hopefully Daniel Jones used the bye to get more comfortable with the O, increase his pocket awareness and solve his fumbling issues. Perhaps he even suggested to his dull as a 10-year-old knife OC some plays like RPO’s, jet sweeps, swing passes and pitch-outs. You know, the kinds of things that would allow the team’s most dynamic player to operate in a bit of space. Ah, whose kidding who, none of these things happened.

Steelers/Bengals:

Juju and Conner are out and this game has a dismal 38 over/under. It’s got ‘ugly’ written all over it. Rook qb Finley’s on-going troubles mean that Mixon will get all kinds of carries straight into the teeth of Pitt’s stellar interior D that consists of Heyward, Tuitt, Alualu and McCullers. Put cotton-eyed Joe down for 20 carries for 62 yards.

Fins/Browns:

All of the yakkers on the Sirius fantasy football channel are guaranteeing that OBJ will go off this week so you should probably fade him. I’ll bet his opposite number Davante Parker has the better numbers by the end of regulation.

Panthers/Saints:

Wr Chark is the sexy upside play here but Kyle Allen’s security blanket is D.J. Moore. He’s the one getting 35(!) targets over the last three weeks. Is Cup of McCaffrey on a roll? In his last 20 games he’s racked up 30+ points nine times. So, ‘yes’.

Raiders/Jets:

Guess who has been QB5 over the last two weeks? Yeah, it’s our own Unfrozen Caveman. I picked him up when I saw his cupcake, down-the-stretch sked but I didn’t have the balls to play him. Maybe you do?

Seahawks/Eagles:

Philly follows the Bucs lead in that they’re strong vs. the run but their secondary is a “Must Fly” zone. That means that a quality DFS stack is Wilson/Metcalf/Gordon. On t’udder side, you must think that the Eagles will be playing from behind but their receiving corps is a dropsy, non-handsy load of garbage. Ertz has been gold on first down so maybe the sneaky play here is Goedart? Did I spell it right? It’s early.

Lions/Potato Skins:

Rb Peterson’s toe owie caused him to miss practice but he figures he’s good to go today. That point is a bit moot because he’s ceding carries to Guice who is infinitely more explosive with the rock. I wouldn’t watch this one for quality qb play.

Let ‘er rip below.

 

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Spur

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King Hippo

HOLY CATS, RUSSELL!!

Spur

Cry Eagles Cry

Spur

Am slowly coming to love the rollercoaster ride that is the Bills offense

entropy

I suppose if you give Gase a solid 12 games to warm up each year, he could be a decent coach.

King Hippo

WEAR IS UR GOD NOW DAKOTA JEEBUS??

Spur

Sitting in the Whitehouse committing open corruption. But hey “stick it to the Libs!” right?

Gratliff

The first 5 fans to enter the stadium that are now playing at the receiver position don’t give me a lot of hope against the Chawx

litre_cola

If they are from Jersey they are gritty!

Spur

B ring back Alligator arms Aghalor

litre_cola

I feel his injury is like Trubiskys….

Spur

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Spur

Oh look another Ohio State quarterback with padded stats and really isn’t a quarterback.

Brick Meathook

REPENT!
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King Hippo

FUCK YOU DOLPHIN!!

Spur

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Spur

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entropy

David Carr was just saved from having his sternum launched out through his spine.

King Hippo

Recall I recommended Murray (PRESENT!) yesterday

Spur

Go Ospreys!

Redshirt

Oh, I get the Admonishing Referee, who announces penalties in a tone like the guilty party has shamed his family for his generation and the two generations to follow.

entropy

And right when I was going to compliment William’s for a competent defense, they give up 16.

litre_cola

Never trust anyone named Jaeden.

King Hippo

This checks out! – Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL

Redshirt

…and Joe Mixon pulls a Thurman Thomas and loses his helmet and missing the first play. Great.

entropy

God fuck Adam Gase.

King Hippo

Sheeeeit, even I got some standards! – G-d

King Hippo

I got mah Chubb on FOAR this Hippo/Rev Derby WOO!!!

Fronkenshteen

GODDAMMIT CATCH THE FUCKIN BALL YOU MOTHERLESS FUCK!!!

/sorry, just warming up

litre_cola

Ummm that is the Eagles chant this year.

Redshirt
Brick Meathook

This is one of the greatest scenes in motion picture history. When it comes to chewing the scenery, George C. Scott puts Al Pacino to shame. (In this scene, Scott is probably channeling his rage-filled desire to kill director Paul Shrader)

Gratliff

Eagles should win 4 of their last 5. I think today’s game determines if they go to the playoffs. That means it’s time for Russ to break some passing records.

Redshirt

This is a twist. The Bengals get to be the team facing the Steelers missing several players due to injury and suspension thanks to a dirty team they played last week instead of being the dirty team who caused those players are out/in timeout.

Fronkenshteen

Still starting Benny Snell

Redshirt

And once again, in honor of Cincinnati, Ohio, CBS opens with the flag of the Commonwealth of Kentucky waving over the Ohio River.

entropy

To be fair, the best parts of Cincinnati are in Kentucky.

(The airport is in Kentucky, right?)

Redshirt

International Airport is. Municipal Airport isn’t.

entropy

That’s the one I flew into years back. Friend of mine welcomed me with the local version of a Philly Cheesesteak. I was…. displeased, we’ll say. It was an oblong hamburger on a hoagie roll.

Redshirt

It its was LaRosa’s, that’s not a Philly Cheesesteak. Its a Steak Hoagie with Pizza Sauce and Provolone Cheese. Its a nice if you want Pizza Sauce but not a whole pizza, but its definitely not a cheesesteak. Not damn near greasy enough.

herodotus450

Commonwealth

Common, wealth? What’re you, a commie?

entropy

What’s up, kids?

King Hippo

Not Ole’s stock at United, that’s fo sho.

entropy

(Nods knowingly, while understanding nothing of what was said)

TheRevanchist

When you expect Evans to do well, he craps then bed. I just can’t trust he will do well ever again. Never drafting the dude until he plays for the Pats one day down the road.

Bears offensive yards prediction: 37 total.

Rooting for the Fins. Only because watching the Browns lose if more fun than watching my team win.

Redshirt

Agreed. I need the Fins to win to help the Bengals lock up the #1 pick. Plus, the more the Preseason Uncrowned Champions can lose, the better.

King Hippo

I have ML bets on BOTH LOLfins and Bungles, so…

Redshirt

Aw, Hippo! Why do you keep betting on the Bengals?

herodotus450

Eat more vegetables, eh?
/Smothers them in bacon and cheese.

yeah right

Ok. More than one word. For leftover prime rib; cube the meat and set aside. Parboil one to two peeled russet potatoes. Mince one medium onion and one red bell pepper. Finely mince 1 clove of garlic. Get yourself an orange wedge too. In a large skillet over medium heat add in 2 tablespoons of oil. Then add in the minced onion and peppers, let cook for about 5 minutes. Next toss in your meat, potatoes and garlic, season with salt, pepper, and a sprinkling of dried thyme. Press a lid, plate or other flat object directly on to the hash and give it a press.
7 minutes undisturbed.
Flip the hash over, give it a squeeze of orange juice, place the lid, plate whatever back on the hash. 7 more minutes undisturbed.
Remove from pan. Serve with 2-3 sunnyside up eggs and a couple of pieces of toast. If served after 12 Pm serve with

yeah right

Beer.

Spur

Wentz is not progressing. He’s had the same coaching staff so cant blame that. He has no flow with any of his receivers. Even worse he’s gotten out of truly dumb throws/decisions. He’s not going to learn why he shouldn’t do that since “it worked last time”. He still plays like a rookie.

Contrast that to Lamar or Dak. They have both grown and learned from their mistakes. They both have a connection with multiple receivers on their team.

Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

At least now I know why my underpants don’t fit anymore.
And are a little slobbery.

Redshirt

Prince Andrew has done the impossible. Edward VIII had to quit being king because he put his wife before his duty and his family, was at best was sympathetic towards to the Nazis and at worst wanted the Nazis to overthrow his brother and reinstate him as King, and if The Crown was any indication, was completely selfish towards everyone except his wife.

And I still have to think about which one is worse!

rockingdog

Weekend FUNNY Reading:
Succession/Brooklyn Nine-Nine Crossover Episode
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Sh4NcK7uJCmd0pyVW_xhT0iydcLJlhJl/view

Redshirt

There are times where you wonder why you spend so much money on a streaming service, and then you come across a scene like this that shows your investment was worthwhile. DC’s answer to Edna Mode. And they didn’t even show the fruitcake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mGJfxSH8rM

King Hippo

Team Knifey with a bright start.

Spur
rockingdog

LOL
Gonna tell my kids this was Donovan McNabbcomment image

rockingdog
Spur

What’s up with that report that Garrett is the top candidate for NYG should Dallas dump him? WTF?
If there is any truth to that rumor Double J will buy Garrett a loft right now on 5th Ave.

Horatio Cornblower

The Giants of recent years haven’t been known for stellar management decisions, so I wouldn’t rule it out.

Also, Garret’s a Princeton Man, which will play well with the Maras high-falutin’ society friends.

Spur

Hoping for a big day for Josh Jacobs Jingleheimer Smith

Dunstan

Hey, that’s my name, too!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why is everyone shouting??????

Redshirt

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Spur

Folks

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So Jordan Howard ain’t gonna play today is he? Fuck, with a these bye weeks I need to choose between Auden Tate and NKeal Harry. Going with the latter.

Fronkenshteen

Tate took a head shot last week. Took him off on a stretcher.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Makes him a better player.”

–Vontaze B.

Fronkenshteen

Has Riverboat Ron crapped out?

From @NFLGameDay: #Panthers owner David Tepper will have a decision to make on coach Ron Rivera after the season, and how they play in the final stretch will go a long way to determining that. pic.twitter.com/TGxmMkXoOq

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) November 24, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/sniffs diaper

Yup

blaxabbath

Not his fault. Cam is a talent but he was never going to win a Super Bowl.

blaxabbath

I picked up AD when WAS canned Gruden. He performed that first week and I’ve been afraid to play him since. Dude has been missing practices then going for 129/2 since Rudy Giuliani was still considered an American — but you tell me which week that will be.

Fronkenshteen

And I’m sitting here with my Guice-mobile all revved up and ready to go all a-stompin’ and a-crushin’. Even wearing my crash helmet with the long antennae deelyboppers on it. GET OUT OF THE WAY, OLD MAN

blaxabbath

I also have Chubb/Fournette so, generally, I feel like I’m giving up kin

Brick Meathook

Prayers???

Sounds more like some folks here need to repent and get right with God.

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Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pair of big coyotes in the park today. Glad the dog was on leash; sometimes on Sunday mornings we let her roam freely.

blaxabbath

Sounds like what your park needs is some fracking!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or a road runner

theeWeeBabySeamus

See? You didn’t plan ahead. If you’d have had some of that meat with ya, it would have been an easy out.

bk109
Game Time Decision

I know it’s not, but feel like the do something in fantasy football comment is directed at me. I did pick up Williams from IND and that pissed off tWBS, so must have done something right….lol

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m in an auction keeper league and got outbid by like $25 for Williams. We all started with $100 week one.

Game Time Decision

Damn and that’s $100 for the year. He’s not worth that
And I’m against tWBS this week with the team I took over for you.

herodotus450

Big LOL to the people, some of them our very own, for thinking that Oregon and/or Oklahoma are/were better than osu.

bk109

and a honorary LOL to KingHippo for thinking that Arsenal are less spineless/clueless/inept than they are and they’d taint-punt Emery after yesterday’s clusterfuck 😀

Spur

OSU pads its year on playing Directional Michigan. I’ll enjoy the tears in January when Clemson blows them out.

herodotus450

Fun Fact*: They were supposed to play TCU again this year, but the Hornies backed out so osu scheduled… something in return. Same thing happened last year to Alabammy when Wisconsin backed out. So in conclusion, we can all blame Wisconsin for all our troubles.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s the best thing to do with leftover prime rib? We’ve got a lot of it. I suppose I could feed some of it to the dog in recognition of her very first kill yesterday (a squirrel). But what else?

Don T

Stew
Tacos
Ballast
Burritos
Sandwiches
Catapult fodder

bk109

REVENGE – hide some in the cabin air intake to a less-than-liked neighbour and let the stank do its thang 😀

herodotus450

They never taught me the symbol for “don’t believe the prime rib”
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Game Time Decision

Send some to the first, um, takes of socks to count on them, 6 responders to your comment

Fronkenshteen

Soup!

Gatoraids

French Dip

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Send it to yeahright and see what happens?

Dunstan

Prime rib hash and eggs for breakfast…

Unsurprised

Leftovers?

blaxabbath

HOMEMADE ARBY’S BEEF N CHEDDAR!

yeah right

Only one word.

HASH!

rockingdog
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That was brilliant.

Fronkenshteen

SNL get some of Key & Peele’s writers? Dark.

rockingdog

LOL
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Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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