Your “That There’s Slim Pickings” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

Thank goodness they staggered the two games on offer, huh? And the featured game is between two teams that the majority of football fans would like to have fired into the sun. But let’s think about that for a second. Why would we do that to the good old sun? It was your fault you got burned that day-you forgot to re-apply the sunscreen. And the sun is a job creator. It was the one that originally determined when the tides came in. It gave that task to the moon as soon as it graduated from college. Now look at how the moon is thriving! The sun is a good friend.

TO THE GAMES!

Jags/Titans:

Poor Jacksonville is gonna get bulldozed as though it were a shantytown somewhere in Africa. The head bulldozer goes by the name of Derrick Henry and he has some experience. The Jags give up the most yards per rush in the league and allowed two rb’s (Williams and Mack) to gain 100+ against them last time out. This one is gonna hurt.

Cowboys/Pats:

One has to wonder how New England is going to score, what with both Sanu and Dorsett both out and the running game being the shambles that it is. Even if wonky-kneed Cooper is ineffective Dallas still has Gallup and Zeke and DAK! out there making plays. I just get the feeling that the Pats are going to be exposed today as GrumbleLord begs everyone to not look behind the curtain.

There ya go. Make some words.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

There we go.

tomsellecksmoustache

One hell of a phantom call there on the Cowboys.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That was a bullshit call, mos def.

Brocky

I’m going to hate watch titans and jaguars just to spite the nfl

Spur

Too cold and wet for Garrett to clap. This is good.

King Hippo

Pollard is a really good player

tomsellecksmoustache

That Kay Santa was too sexy. They must be spending a lot on the Hallmark network this season.

Spur

ok Dak comment image

Spur

Yeah baby, dream sack

Petronel

Brady avoiding the traveling call

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gotta give him credit for keeping his pivot foot.

King Hippo

LET’S GO NON-GENDERED COWPERSONS

/yes, despite Spur

Spur

in spite of Spur?

Spur

Whose off tomorrow or the rest of the week?

King Hippo

My career is ded, does that count??

Viva La Tabula Raza

Good job on getting your daughter started early on the road to obesity, diabetes, and Bear Fandom, ice-cream-cone buying Bears Fan Mom.

Brocky

Hey……………….

remembers bears fan grandpa is now missing a leg

.. that’s accurate

LemonJello

Jaguras D does a good! What can Foles do with this?

King Hippo

We’ll get to hear los of Dan Fouts, too. KILL ME NOW

Fronkenshteen

Ah, I like Fouts. He sounds like the kind of guy who’ll hold the steering wheel while you do your line.

Viva La Tabula Raza

He sounds kinda like a bit of a meathead, but one who wouldn’t drive you away from the bar. Also, I liked him back when he was active duty with Bolts.

litre_cola

Good afternoon Shanklor.

Viva La Tabula Raza

DOINK!

Spur

DOINK!

Petronel

BONNNGGGGGG

Gratliff

DOINK

Spur

Running Dak. good. that will pay off later

King Hippo

We achieved #MaximumTractorcito on that 3rd y uno

litre_cola

Weather here looks nicer than in Boston.

Viva La Tabula Raza

72 and sunny here in South Texas, like very much.

LemonJello

This Tanner Hill guy on the Tits…seems cromulent, when did he enter the league?

tomsellecksmoustache

I’ve always hated these Cowboy uniforms with the blue sleeves.

Spur

Get it Zeke. I dont care if your legs fall off today. RUN HARD

(Dallas has Pollard as a backup)

Spur

BS call on Pats? that’s going to haunt the Boys later today.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is there any chance this misty rainy stuff in Foxboro might turn to snow? I would be much moar interested.

LemonJello

A hard, driving sleet would be much moar painful for all participants

theeWeeBabySeamus

That would be totally acceptable.

entropy

Let me know when it starts raining fire, I’ll sit right up and pay more attention.

Redshirt

YES! TWO GAME LEAD FOR THE #1 SEED!

LemonJello

Draft position?

Mistborn Impossible

Writing an erotic fan fiction about the bud platinum knight cucking out on the hot queen. They really connected that night when the king went to the wrong tower. PM me if you know any publishers.

Fronkenshteen

Jeff E.
c/o William Barr
Rikers Island
New York, NY
10027

Burn after reading

/deploys smoke grenade at own feet
//runs blindly into door jamb
///passes out

ballsofsteelandfury

http://Www.doorfliesopen.com

Always taking reader submissions!

Redshirt

I don’t get to hatewatch Cowboys-Patriots?!

EDIT: Nevermind. Wrong network.

Spur

I’ll keep you updated

Spur

Time to break Brady’s collarbone

litre_cola

I can get behind this.

Gratliff

Would 4 SB wins in 5 years be the new record? We can’t risk that sort of reality.

Gratliff

Whoops, 4 in 6 years. Forgot about Denver-Carolina because my brain loves me enough to protect me from it

tomsellecksmoustache

Stillers did 4 in 6 back in the ’70s. But thank God for Denver-Carolina and Cam refusing to dive on a loose ball.

Spur

Erin Andrews is wearing a burka

King Hippo

inshallah!

tomsellecksmoustache

Bold choice in Boston.

Spur

Let’s do this.

Gratliff

Some darkest timeline redzone incoming

King Hippo

just AFC South + P*ts!

litre_cola

Coupe Grey as well mes amis.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is that available on a satellite channel? I don’t see it on CBSSN or NBCSN or FS1.

litre_cola

Espn2 apparently

Viva La Tabula Raza

Oh, it’s on later, thought it was on now…

Redshirt

BLEERGH almost declared holy war on SHANK’LOR.

litre_cola

Flagarooo?

King Hippo

BLEERGH gives Payton a stroke?

Gratliff

slye’d right

Spur

comment image

King Hippo

Need a high-scoring Jaguras/Tits match. I am sooooooo fucked.

Old School Zero

I’m gonna

just a test
test out this spoiler thing
for a minute, at least until I
also a test
get a UTI because I
masturbate too much

Viva La Tabula Raza

Seems to work.

Petronel

That’s game

Spur

Two types of teams give the Pats issues

Running QBs . Lamar, Russ, Mahomes, Kap, Cam, Allen, even punkass Rodgers. Kellen Moore has to have designed runs . Just the threat Dak might run will help

No huddle offense. Dont let the Pats bring in fresh players. Donks, Jags (16-17), Steelers, and the Nacho Led Jets did it. the game is 6-3 at half but the Pats D is exhausted by the 4th quarter. A TD led wins it.

Gratliff

Dallas hasn’t beaten any teams that deserve to be in the NFL yet, so I see no reason to expect that to change now

Gratliff

Was that a pitch where the RB wasn’t looking for it? Goddamn what the fuck

Gratliff

Weren’t the Lions like 3-1-1? Goddamn

rockingdog

found a funny:
I love every little thing about my wife. I love her velvety shell, her nougaty middle, her caramel/peanut layer…

Wait, that’s Snickers. I love Snickers.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

N’Keal Harry ftw

Now, what movie should I watch instead of this bullshit?

Don T

Yea Tractorcito wooo!
/already buzzed
//still on 1st drink

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