Your “Tripping? I’ll Show You Some Real Tripping!” Monday Night Football Open Thread

I’m the last guy to advocate for the Cowboys in any way whatsoever but two tripping penalties in one game? NFL refs are so far up the Pats ass that they can spell doodenum, dawadenum, dawdnum, doudenum properly on the first try. Let’s go to…

Fallout:

-The Bengals have had enough of rook qb Ryan Finley’s less than average shenanigans and have opted to return to Andy Dalton’s average shenanigans. Neither one of these fellas will be under center week 1 of the 2020 season.

-The running back equivalent of ‘dirty clothes stuffed in a garbage bag at the laundromat’, Kelen Ballage, is still the starter for the Fins. He’s approaching Adrian Murrell levels of awfulness. “Who’s Adrian Murell?”, you might ask? My reply would be, “Exactly”.

-I mean, it’s finally over for Jason Garrett at the end of this year, right? The Cowburps have all kinds of talent on both sides of the ball and yet are sitting at 6-5. Jerrah’s post-game comments centered around the word ‘frustrating’. He only said it about a dozen times or so.

-In “Maybe If He’d Shown Us This We Wouldn’t Be Tanking” news, Ryan Tannehill is on an 11/3 TD/Int tear along with three rushing scores. And them Titans are 4-1 and have as much momentum going forward as a 240 pound (ah, I’m taking the over here) Derrick Henry with a ten yard running start.

TO THE GAME!

Ravens/Rams:

As far as front offices/GM’s are concerned, the vast majority of praise/derision is focused around the draft. But sometimes, identifying a problem and acting to solve that problem in a meaningful way occurs. That’s the case with both these teams. Both identified that the missing piece for the defense was a cb. Most times this issue would be ‘solved’ by the elevation of a practice squad scrub or a free agent signing but that’s not the case here. Since the respective trades for Jalen Ramsey (L.A.) and Marcus Peters (Baltimore) just before week seven, these squadoos are 1 and 2 in scoring defense. Now, will the Rams D be able to handle LAMAR! and the bitchin’ running game that averages more yards per game than any team since Walter Payton’s ’77 Bears? I dunno.

Let’s watch and find out.

Please Login to comment
80 Comment threads
126 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
29 Comment authors
Rikki-Tikki-DeadlyJerBear50UnsurprisedWCSTheRevanchist Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It seems like someone on Reddit found nomonkeyfun’s comment particularly funny.
comment image

WCS

Great on Brandon Brooks for highlighting what a panic attack can do. I’ve had five in my lifetime, and, they really are torture. I mean, I understand staying at the Hanoi Hotel incurred pain. Dealing with psychological reconstruction is on another planet. To go through that, Donald Trump thinks you’re loser.

I’ve had five panic attacks, and passed five kidney stones. I’ll take the kidney stone every time. Panic attacks make you feel like you are dying, and, everything else cannot help you. That is the definition of helplessness. No one can help you, nothing at all. It’s bad.

Again, good on Brooks.

JerBear50
JerBear50

I finally broke down and went to a shrink last year. The meds have helped immensely. Unfortunately kinda fucked my career, but at least things are better in my head. Sort of.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

God Fucking Damn It.

I’ve basically focused all of my non-job hunting time and work to preventing that exact sort of stigmatizing and discrimination. I know it goes on, and I know people here who’ve suffered from it, but this really sucks. Statistics indicate that 1 in 5 people do or will suffer from acute or chronic mental illness, with depression and anxiety being by far the two most common. It is significantly higher when anonymously self-reported in professional workplaces like attorneys and doctors along with the corresponding increases in substance use that either accompanies it because all three are linked or as a form of self-medicating or both. If this sounds familiar, it’s because DFO and KSK before it were basically living examples of this phenomenon. And so the idea that people are going to treat others like shit over medical issues is infuriating. It happens for plenty of physical disabilities, so I’m not going to act like this is unique, but instead say that this is why people doing so is so wrongheaded and harmful to the entire workplace and community.

It’s great that Brooks is sharing his experience, but we’re not fucking show ponies and we shouldn’t have to justify our existence, our health, and our experiences just so people might back the fuck off.

JerBear50
JerBear50

I waited so long because I knew getting on any kind of psych med would basically end my career. They won’t fire me, but I’ll never get to the position I’ve been working towards. And the civilian jobs I’ve been working the last 20 years were just a stepping stone to get there, but they don’t pay shit and I’ll basically never be able to retire. So I’m going back to school for nursing. But like I said, at least my head is at least in a better place now. Clinical depression and anxiety are a lot easier to deal with when you don’t just try to drink it away. I mean, you should definitely try to drink it away, but adding in a fuck-ton of zoloft, buspar, seroquil, and klonopin works well in conjunction with said drinking.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That sucks that you’ve had the door shut like that. It’s not fair and it’s not particularly justifiable IMNSFHO. It is cool that you’re going to be a nurse though. We need more and we need more engaged in these kinds of discussions.

JerBear50
JerBear50

It mostly just pisses me off that I’ve got nothing to show for 20 years. My goal was to become a street cop, and actually to try and be a decent one. Honestly I’ve been less and less enamored with it because of the way shits been going the last decade, but it was what I always wanted to do. Now I can do something (eventually- lot of school to go) where I actually help people without having that feeling of often being on the wrong side, or at least being seen as such by default. Not many leftists in this line of work as you can imagine.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Actually, one of the theories behind the hurried visit to Walter Reid was that Diaper Don had a panic attack and the symptoms had them concerned it was heart-related.

TheRevanchist

I was hoping for the 3 for 3 wins, but one of the leagues i lost by .26 points. Less than a point. That fucking Baltimore kicker couldn’t just miss one extra point. Fucker.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Lamar Jackson shaking hands with the Rams defense after the game pic.twitter.com/9r6p12HWxg

— Tommyvlo (@tommyvlo) November 26, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh, JFC. “Vick” is trending on Twitter. Get me the fuck out of here.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Wait. People were saying Lamar should’ve been a receiver? Fuck. I thought black QBs didn’t have to put up with that shit anymore.

WCS

How many Crimson Tide fans loves a minority quarterback, until he gets uppity, and has the audacity to receive compensation?

JerBear50
JerBear50

There was already some cunty piece on Yahoo on how Vick’s crimes are being whitewashed by the NFL. Because apparently going to jail and appearing to show honest repentance is the same as a cover-up basically.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Jail and penance isn’t enough. He needs to be jobless, homeless, and exiled not just from the community but from all of humanity. And yet these are the same people who … Ugh. Ugh. People suck.

JerBear50
JerBear50

I hate what he did, but he’s done his time. Let him live his goddamn life already.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

What….the….fuck…did….I just…..watch….

My Browns will never SNIFF the fucking AFC North title.

I THOUGHT WE HAD A RULES COMMITTEE TO PREVENT SHIT LIKE THIS!

I hate this game. I fucking hate everything. God hates the Browns….it’s not fair…

WCS

He does hate the Browns, but, He loathes the Lions and Bills more.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

The bills have at least tasted a Superbowl…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You spelled “tainted” wrong.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, I haven’t seen a Baltimore beatdown…
Fuck, I would like to make a clever reference to some Homicide Life on the Street scene, but it’s been 20 years since that show went off the air.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The two AA lady detectives got their asses whipped by a suspect when they confronted him in his own doorway.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

As a random aside, Melissa Leo was the only good actor in Olympus Has Fallen and she should’ve been the President in the sequels instead of Plywood in London and Freckles in Angel.

Also, fellow Homicide actor Clark Johnson directed OHF. I wonder why he didn’t do the sequels.

JerBear50
JerBear50

She was fantastic in Treme too.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Obligatory:
Lamar sez:

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Every time I drink one of these damned Vesper martinis, I want to have a second one. And I typically fill the void by having a beer instead, which leaves me feeling better the next day but I’d probably be best off just showing some damned restraint in the first place.

Mistborn Impossible
Mistborn Impossible

A Vespa martini, you say?
comment image

JerBear50
JerBear50

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

This game =
comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

So I read somewhere that due to all kinds of trade sleight of hand in the mid-90s, Belichick got fired when the Browns moved to BMore, and with that trade Belichick made, the Ravens were able to draft Ray Lewis.
Just think, Belichick could have drafted a murderer 20 years earlier than he eventually did. Man, history is funny.
comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

A neighbor just called me to say hi since we haven’t seen each other since mid-October. That was nice. I need to return the favor to some people.

I’m also about to make banana bread if anyone’s hungry.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I have Apple TV and Disney+ offers I could redeem, but I’m already about the cut the cord on Netflix for lack of use. So I’m not champing at the bit to sign up for anything new. Also, fuck Disney for not offering Futurama when it already has the entire Fox library at its disposal.

Mistborn Impossible
Mistborn Impossible

Futurama is too edgy for the company that made movies like Song of the South

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

I made banana bread last week and it was kind of meh. But then I made French toast with it, and it was a whole lotta good

JerBear50
JerBear50

Leftovers make for really good bread pudding too.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

If I’m a Ravens fan, I’m feeling pretty confident and happy right about now. But since I’m a Patriots fan, I think I hear the Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny finally warming up in the 42-year-old background.

Fronkenshteen

[chews holes in own goddamn lips in effort to remain silent]

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Can I offer you some chapstick?
comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“No thanks, but I’ll take a Slim Jim, if you’ve got one.” – Andy R.

Game Time Decision

Wow. Nooice catch

Game Time Decision

RGIII sighting

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

/KNEE COLLAPSES

Gratliff

Oh shit. Are they getting Lamar the record?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Gratliff

That sidearm is unfair. Pats are going to 100% beat them in the AFC championship in the most boring game ever seen.

WCS

…until the Superb Owl where, somehow, the Panthers make it.

Mistborn Impossible
Mistborn Impossible

I apparently fell asleep right after kickoff and just woke up. Did I miss anything while I was out?

Gratliff

Lamar took Goff out behind the stadium and no one’s seen ol’ Jared ever since

LemonJello
LemonJello

Ingram with a respectable El Tractorcito impression tonight.

jjfozz

Goddamn, the last time I saw a beatdown in LA like this was when I was watching Colors.

WCS

I would have said, “When I was watching Rodney King footage.”

litre_cola

Or Lt Winslow in a parking lot.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s where my head went.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Obviously you are not talking about that Jets-Bills game a while back.” – colorblind NFL fans

Fronkenshteen

Goddamn insurance commercials…

Gratliff

Just do a running clock. there’s no reason to do this to the Rams.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Given how they shat the bed during the Super Bowl, they deserve the worst

blaxabbath

Re: CIN

How bad do you have to be as a rookie QB to get benched back for the veteran this late in a completely lost season? I mean, they aren’t going to try the “we’re saving him from getting shell shocked” nonsense right?

Who’s tanking next year? TEN? I predict this Bengals kid and Rosen both end dueling for the starter job there next season.

WCS

Friggin’ kids, and their lack of Arrested Development knowledge…

Someone made a reference to putting a lot of vegetables in a pond, someone else remarked that would make a free stew, I mention Carl Weathers and get confused looks. Fucking Philistines.

jjfozz

I was way into AR, and then lost the passion. Gotta pick it up. Since Man in the High Castle has completely lost me.

Gratliff

Unfortunately, he’s in the Mandalorian now, so that’s all the youths will know him for
comment image

jjfozz

Third episode of the Mandalorian was fucking EPIC

Gratliff

I have yet to watch. I even got a year of it through Verizon and it’s just sitting there. I’m taking two weeks off for Christmas. That’s what I’ll most likely be doing instead of spending it with the family.

Dunstan
Dunstan

What odds will Vegas give me on JJ firing Garrett mid-game on Thursday?

Game Time Decision

How uncouth of you to even suggest such a thing

jjfozz

Obviously, Mr. Dunstan, your plebian comments cannot begin to even surmise what happens in the intricate doings of our class. We are never “fired”, as you say. We graciously step down from a situation that does not warrant the questioning of our talents, gene pool, and standing.

Dunstan
Dunstan

GARRETT, YOU GIT YOUR FANCY PRINCETON ASS BACK IN THE FILM ROOM AND WHIP ME UP A WINNIN’ GAME PLAN, OR ELSE I’LL FIRE YOU LIKE A GODDAMN ROMAN CANDLE ON THE FOURTH OF JU-LY!

Gratliff

comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Jason Garrett is quietly made the CIA station chief in Caracas for his “genius”

jjfozz

My dad came over tonight to watch the game. A good deal since the Goldbergs episode I watched last nigth was about “Cats and the Cradle”. God I hate that song. Hits so close to home…

LemonJello
LemonJello

Thinking of changing my FF team name to “Turn Your Head and Goff” WHAT SAY YEW?

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Love it.

jjfozz

I whole heartedly approve

Game Time Decision

Ok Lamar, enough passing, let’s try a hand off for the next TD. I can’t have tWBS beat me in FF

litre_cola

I think I broke the record for shittiness this week in that league this week.

Game Time Decision

Lol. Either tWBS or I has the match up loss this week, where we would have been every one else

Gratliff

This is some big dick swagger right here. However, I noticed that Lamar’s neck is insanely fucking thick and I can’t get over it.
comment image