Your “One Step Away From An Open Casting Call” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

  • When you see quotes about “bucks stopping with him”, you know without looking someone asked Jerry Jones about his coaches.
    •  “Disappointed is not the word. There’s no question that we were given an opportunity, there were things we could have taken advantage of,” Jones said.
    • It is important to note that of their five losses, four have come against Green Bay (8-3), New Orleans (9-2), Minnesota (8-3) and New England (10-1).
  • In advance of playing the Browns Sunday, Mike Tomlin has decided to keep Devlin Hodges at QB.
    • Probably just to keep Mason Rudolph alive & off the field.
    • I look forward to next week when Hodges is replaced by a guy with an even whiter name.
  • Speaking of white names, the Lions are down to one healthy quarterback — undrafted rookie David Blough — as last week’s starter Jeff Driskel is day-to-day with a sore back.
    • TE Logan Thomas is the emergency backup, as he played QB at Virginia Tech before switching positions.
    • When asked about the team’s interest in free agent Colin Kaepernick, coach Matt Patricia  said again the club attended his workout earlier this month in Georgia, but wouldn’t expand on the team’s interest in him.
      • Detroit had also inquired about veteran Josh Johnson, who the Lions cut in favor of Driskel in September, but Johnson is signed with the XFL and Patricia was “not really sure the details of what happened with that.”

Finally, the Hall of Fame released their list of 25 semi-finalists for the expanded 2020 class.  

  • There are three in their first year of eligibility:
    • safety Troy Polamalu
    • wide receiver Reggie Wayne
    • linebacker Patrick Willis
  • Everyone else listed at their site has been eligible before.
    • Four players – Carl Banks, Fred Taylor, Ricky Watters, and Bryant Young – are veterans whose eligibility recently expired but are included this time due to the expanded nature of the vote.

The NFL’s Centennial Celebration will have a special Centennial Hall of Fame Class that will be comprised of 20 members in 2020. The group will include five Modern-Era players to come from the list announced today in addition to 10 Seniors (a player who has been retired for more than 25 seasons), three Contributors (an individual other than a player or coach) and two Coaches.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Stars at Blackhawks – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Clippers vs. Mavericks – 8:30PM | TSN / NBA TV
    • Wizards at Nuggets – 9:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Football:
      • Western Michigan at Northern Illinois – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Basketball:
      • Central Michigan at DePaul – 8:00PM | FS1
      • Maui Invitational:
        • Dayton vs. Virginia Tech | 8 p.m. | ESPN / TSN3
        • Kansas vs. BYU | 10:30 p.m. | ESPN / TSN3

We are facing a bus strike in Vancouver tomorrow. Standing around & drinking coffee is expected to drop by 15%. Somehow it’s not the worst thing to happen yet this week.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Fronkenshteen

Good morning! Lemme put this little bean in your ear & see if it sprouts: Sunday in Dallas will be a revenge game for Cole Beasley, who is ALREADY scoring touched downs. That is all.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

For some reason I was reminded of this, even though no one I know is going home and even the article is ancient.

https://local.theonion.com/26-year-old-to-see-every-asshole-he-ever-went-to-high-s-1819570411

Fronkenshteen

Here’s a thing which I am about to do. In a non-DFO related money league, I’m benching DeShaun Watson AND Darren Waller this week. My waivers are set and I am going to sleep. When I wake up, I hope to replace them with with the FitzMagic —>Gesicki stack.
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Senor Weaselo

Mother flippers?comment image

WCS

SUCK ON THAT DOOK

litre_cola

Matt Patricia wants to leave his mark. Sign and start Kaep 2 days from now, kneel and watch it burn.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bus Strike?
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Redshirt

This guy was like the anti-Barry Sanders. Sanders would run in circles and avoid contact. Bettis would run though and/or over people like he was a Koopa shell kicked by Mario heading towards a line of Goombas and Spinies. Not to mention that things like exhaustion wasn’t properly explained to him as he would still be running at full power in the 4th Quarter while the defense would be praying for a cramp so they wouldn’t be hit by Bettis anymore.

WCS

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WCS
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Brutal. Love it

Unsurprised

Hiring Belichick’s castoffs didn’t work out? That’s impossible!

WCS

Unpossible!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think Belichick has a device somewhat like that flashy thing in Men In Black that he zaps any departing coaching staff with when no one is looking but before they head for their new job. But instead of making them forget about the weird alien shit they might have observed, the zap makes them forget everything they know about coaching football.

Unsurprised

Or they never learned anything other than what they coached and aren’t competent to promote.

Redshirt

I guess we’ll find out if BLEERGH deems Mason Rudolph being destroyed on the bench as “Unnecessary Roughness” or “Roughing the Passer”.

Brick Meathook

TODAY IN CANADA:

I saw a woman apologize to a door.

scotchnaut

No need to explain why you’ve got a wet spot on your pants.

Brick Meathook

Well then! I won’t.

litre_cola

She will write the door a sorry letter on her next break.

Redshirt

TODAY IN AMERICA:

I saw a man argue at an Automatic Door.

JerBear50

The woman WAS the doctor, you sexist pig.

Fronkenshteen

Re: Vancouver Bus Strike
Why don’t they want to pay overtime? GET THE SEABUSSES UP AND RUNNING, MAN!!!

scotchnaut

“SEABUSSES? BAH GOD, THAT’S MY MUSIC!”

-Sebastian Janikowski, CTE sufferer

JerBear50

Seabusses? Is that a new scientology thing? Like SeaOrgBusses?

Redshirt

Shh! You want us to get sued?!

ballsofsteelandfury

They DO have sea buses!!
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Brick Meathook

I rode on one of those!

ballsofsteelandfury

Me too! Plus, I have their tshirt!

Unsurprised

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scotchnaut

The rain is coming down so hard in the W. Mich/N. Illinois game that it’s almost drowning out the voices of the announcers. I’m not exaggerating.

JerBear50

That sounds like something to rejoice.

scotchnaut

“Uh, we wouldn’t go that far.”

-The Proclaimers

JerBear50

Drowning out the announcers help stave off the haverin’.

Unsurprised

Damian Lewis is so uncanny as Steve McQueen in his Once Upon A Time In Hollywood cameo.

JerBear50

Good article about Monday Night Footbaw and how fucking unbearable it’s become.
https://sports.yahoo.com/monday-night-football-once-great-130616368.html

Brick Meathook

MNF needs Kevin Harlan & Tony Romo

JerBear50

They need someone besides McFarland. He was a hell of a nose tackle, but he is unlistenable in the booth. He just says the dumbest, most pointless shit, and often completely contradicts himself. He’s like the last year or two of Madden’s broadcast days when he was just a shell of his old self, and he just yammered about past anecdotes whether they were relevant to the game or not.

ballsofsteelandfury

MY GOD THIS!!

Brick Meathook

Booger gets paid by the word.

scotchnaut

PSA: I’ve watched the show ‘Tattoo Nightmares’ on Spike TV. It doesn’t address Herve Villechaize’s downward spiral after being fired from Fantasy Island in any way whatsoever. smgdh

herodotus450

I too am looking for someone good to reupholster my Villechaize.

Viva La Tabula Raza

But Forbidden Zone was an overlooked classic!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9jtf6k0Nrs

scotchnaut

Overlooked Classic? I got this!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPjggN-KByI

rockingdog

found a funny:
Always carry a potato wrapped in foil to a party.

It’s a conversation starter: “Ever seen a lion’s egg?”

A conversation avoider: “Excuse me! Hot hot hot!”

A conversation ender: “Just got this cyst removed. Feel how heavy!”

Always carry a potato wrapped in foil to a party.

Senor Weaselo

What about a towel? Always bring your towel.

ballsofsteelandfury

Vancouver coffee is awesome. While you’re standing around, have some Caffe Artigiano Spanish Latte.

Holy shit that was good!

Brick Meathook

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WCS

Should have been you, Pence.

scotchnaut

“It’s a thin brown line between tossed feces and tossed salads.”

-Toronto Police Commissioner

JerBear50

/puts on Groucho glasses
“How revolting” – not Najeh Davenport

King Hippo

Jeebus, Fred Taylor was never even GOOD, let alone GREAT

scotchnaut

His entire career was spent on the ‘Questionable’ list.

JerBear50

Taylor’s legacy was basically forgotten the second MJD laid out Merriman like a fucking rag doll.

scotchnaut

“Steve Atwater deserves to be in the Hall of Fame… as a one hit wonder.”

-Christian Okoye

Brick Meathook

Speaking of white names, when I first heard the name ”Booger McFarland“ being bandied about at the beginning of (last?) season, I wasn’t paying attention enough to listen to why they were talking about him, so I naturally assumed that “Booger McFarland” was some good ol’ boy cracker who had just been hired as an SEC coach.

King Hippo

As Randy Moss has demonstrated throughout the years, we DO have us some black rednecks Down South.

Brick Meathook

I would listen to Moss talk on TV without watching and I swear he sounded like a hillbilly in a confederate flag ball cap.

JerBear50

That’s why it’s so fucking frustrating when idiots complain about “black talk.” It’s essentially just an extension of southern accents, you dumb shit. It’s the same reason half the people I knew around Hammond and Gary had southern accents even thought they’d never left the Chicago area.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Worked with a black dude in Afghanistan and later back in San Antonio who was at the time a major, civil engineer type, from the deepest hills of western North Carolina. When he spoke, he had the most horrible hillbilly mushmouth; you could hardly understand him until you got used to his rhythms. One of the smartest dudes I ever worked with, attended his retirement as a full bird colonel a couple years back. There was another black major in our branch, and this guy talked just like the “Not gonna fall for any banana in the tailpipe” guy in Beverly Hills Cop. The funny thing is they made fun of the way each other spoke, but only when the other guy wasn’t around.

TheRevanchist

With my fantasy football status, I fully expect to be in the Contributors list for the Centennial Hall of Fame Class.

litre_cola

I put up one of the lowest totals in a matchup in a DFO league last week. Shogun had a worse week this year and also had the best week. What a fucked season.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder why Trump hasn’t claimed credit for the centennial of the NFL yet, like he did today when he claimed that the centennial of women’s suffrage was his doing.
Actual quote:
“I’m curious why wasn’t it done a long time ago? And also, I guess the answer to that is because now I’m president, we get things done.”
Good God, what a fucking moron. We are doomed.

Brick Meathook

Why wasn’t the centennial held long ago? Is that the question?