The only good thing the state of Alabama has is football and now they don’t even have that. So, Crimson Tide fans, cram that loss up that MAGA ballcap, go back to your hovel and throw a Saban-like tantrum in front of your haven’t-bathed-in-weeks kids. Don’t forget to slap your cousin-wife for good measure. It’s her fault she looked at you funny again, right?
TO THE GAMES!
Jets/Bengals:
I’m streaming Darnold for this one because I’m frightened and confused. And also because since week 10 he’s been QB3 in fantasyland. There’s much to criticize about Adam Gase but the state of the Jets D is not among them. It has slowly become a very solid unit that is very to run against.
Titans/Colts:
Speaking of robust run D’s, Indy has one. But the sheer mass of Derrick Henry has a way of changing defender’s minds and defense’s stat lines. T.Y. is out so the Colts have to employ the remaining members of their “Bring Out Your Dead” receiving corpse.
Eagles/Fins:
Jordan Howard is done for this week so Miles “And Miles” Sanders is in a potential smash spot against a Miami D that gives up 130 yds. per game to rb’s.
Packers/Giants:
Does anyone remember when Janoris Jenkins was a lockdown corner? I do. It was way back in aught ’16. We were so young and foolish back then. We made tons of mistakes but we learned from them and we had such fun along the way…
Browns/Steelers:
Chubb and Snell should get all kinds of work today and I’m going to give the edge to the rook because Pitt’s D has been gangbusters Minkah came to town.
Potato Skins/Panthers:
Play McCaffrey. [wipes hands on shirt] There. Done.
Bucs/Jags:
Good Lord! Here’s a stat for you-11 times Tampa has played against a wr that averages 12+ fantasy points. Those 11 players have gone off for a collective average of 26 points. Btw, D.J. Chark and his 17.2 mark are salivating at the moment.
Niners/Ravens:
This is the reason so many of us are tuning in, right? I wouldn’t mind seeing this tilt again in early February either.
Hit me with your best words!
So, O/U on total fumbles in this rain?
Giants and San Fran game on commercial at the same time.
/#firstquarterproblems
LOL
Foles throws an INT
Eagles stars continuing the tradition of stealing paychecks from Jacksonville
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Remembering when Trotter and Douglas both went out and got paid to be bad at their job and came back to the Eagles and were immediately good again because Jim Johnson was a master of his craft
Ravens punt? Complete meltdown in Baltimore!
found a funny:
Me: do you think he called himself T.S. Eliot so nobody would notice that T. Eliot is toilet backwards?
Librarian: stop talking
Let’s enjoy Lamar! before he inevitably gets knee-capped.
LAMAR!!!!!!!
Goddamn, the dolphins suck
If it actually does come down to being their final show ever, it was an honor and a privilege to be there for the final campaign.
FUCKING SLAYER!
On and on, south of Heaven.
this is going to be the game to watch.
CRAZY!
OH HELL YEAH!
/livin’ la vida CAPSLOCK
Jimmy G after that sack
Are the players trolling with the gold chains? Because it seems COMPLETELY pointless to wear them otherwise.
Danny “Fumble-ina” Dimes is in the house!
WOOO LET’S DO THIS
“Sorry. What are we doing?”
-Giants O-line
May everyone’s knees remain intact. Our lady of victory PRAY FUH RUSS!!!
Hell in a Cell match today on Pittsburgh looks fun.
Funny that people think Pitt will be amped up because Yinzer Gaetz got what was coming to him.
For some reason my neck is really sore today.
too many pillows
Too many puppies!
Rodgers gets to travel to San Fran and New York City in back to back weeks. Did Ellen Page make the Packers schedule?
BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Afternoon, imaginary friends! May all your teams (except Redshirt’s) experience good fortune today! Oh, not Maestro’s, either, because fuck the Patriots.
Thanks iFriend!
Hoping for some Fitzmagic today
Good news. I benched him. He’s as good as gold.
If you can get to the semis and then the final he’s got the Jizziants and Cincy on the sked.
am going with the Rams today. if it was a later kickoff time, i’d pick the 49ers
As we stumble to week 16.
As far as psych up music goes, you could do worse than Black Sabbath Vol. 4 from “Snowblind” to the end (formerly known as “Side 2” smgdh).
The weather in Cincinnati is a perfect analogy to the 2019 Cincinnati Bengals season: Started with sunshine and unseasonable warm low 50s, falling to cloudy and high 40s at kickoff and continuing to fall to the low 40s and upper 30s with the chance of rain/snow mix by the game’s end.
So it’s a nice day in Ohio, you’re saying?
Nice morning, but its quickly going away to a cold, dark, wet night.
Anyone benching Ertz?
Fuck it. Ride or die.
Nope. Starting him in another league. No one on the bench to even fill in for him
Come on Naples eat Baloney!!!
Morning Folks
Afternoon from one hour in the future. Best of luck to you in 42 minutes. God be with you.
And back, sorry, i had an impromptu case of involuntary family IT and as per fucking usual, the “It’s going to take 5 minutes.. 15 tops” turned into a multi-hour battle against ignorance and hardware so abused, it was flashing a #MeToo error code
At least you could fix it, this is my family’s IT routine.
Step 1: “Redshirt, this isn’t working!”
Step 2: “Try rebooting it and/or the network.”
Step 3: “No! I don’t want to do that!”
Step 4: “Well then I can’t fix it.”
Step 5: “But its not working!”
Step 6: Repeat Steps 2 to 5 for ten minutes
Step 7: “Fine! Do it!”
Step 8: Reboot it and/or network
Step 9: “Is it working?”
Step 10: “Yes! About you fixed it!”
Best one so far that made me appear to be a wizard. Sister’s family got a Gig internet with a new dual band router. the while family was on 2.4 GHz, the phones, TVs, computers, everything. I moved all the priority devices to 5GHz. I just renamed the 5GHz “Fast WIFI” to get them all to connect to it should the get anything new
I did that in my house. My mistake was I told the family and everyone jumped on the 5GHz and abandoned the 2.4 Ghz.
My family’s problem is everyone has a smart TV, has their laptops open, is on their cellphones and each has an Amazon Alexa, yet they wonder why the network is always slow.
Oh,yeah, those are always fun… That’s why I’ve got multiple access points around the house (with similar setups at the in-laws and my parents), with a wired backhaul to enterprise-grade routers and with such an anal enrollment and access rule-set to match 😀
@Redshirt – add some devices using a P2P update process into the mix and I can visualize your router screaming for mercy 😀
Also, my family IT had a surprising happy ending – my father in law popped back in with a bottle of Bushmills 21 as a “Thank you”
Eh, mine is less “Have you turned it off and on again” and more of the “Fuck it, I’m gonna get my kit and the service manuals” kind 😀 (I’ve trimmed the “But it doesn’t work nao!!!!!!!” ones via weekly complete backups for everyone in the family that merits Family IT) … Turns out it was material fatigue on a ribbon cable connecting the FPR, BT daughterboard and Touchpad, which explained why I got a “I can still use the keyboard, but no mouse and it doesn’t work!!!!!XAKQATKJ!!!!!” What I don’t get is, why on God’s Green Earf is the TrackPoint routed via the Touchpad (software-wise), when it’s completely separate hardware-wise… Still, it’s rather refreshing to work on shit that’s actually designed for maintenance and longevity.
Speaking of which: Whenever possible, gift business-grade ThinkPads or DELLs to family, especially those that only use InstaFace and the like, ’cause they’re idiot and bullet-proof AND usually have way less bloat to deal with 😀
I’ve hit on it twice before so I’ll suggest it one more time-in a circumstance with two starters out (Engram and Golden Tate) target share increases greatly for Darius Slay and the long toss (30+ yards) enters the playbook. If you’re desperate for a flex guy/cheap DFS option I can assure you that Daniel Jones will throw long to Slay a minimum of 2/3 times today, probably more.
Can concur.
DC continues its trend of making great animated shows with “Harley Quinn”. With one or two weak things, it was a pretty solid show.
Additionally, I’m identifying myself with Poison Ivy on a very scary level.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXoRCafMVzg&t=1m49s
Holy shit. I need to subscribe to this channel.
Yeah, this looks quite enjoyable.
Leicester are some cynical, diving cunts.
Holy shit! What a beautiful sky in Manchester.
I realize that I get winter pretty mild for Canada, but this ice pellets and snow mix with winds of 45km/30mph just sucks. So glad I got my run* in before it started.
*fair weather runner. No rain
Do you enjoy words like aardvark, vacuum and moon? Perhaps you should watch ‘Bordertown’, a series created by Mikko Oikkonen, starring Ville Virtanen as a member of Lappeenranta’s Poliisi force. His wife Pauliina is played by Matleena Kuusniemi and it also features Kristiina Halttu in a co-starring role.
Sounds güd!
A Møøse once bit my sister… No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush. Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti…
Look who have won promotion into Norway’s top flight!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4-bUYU3BH8
was a 2-legged tie, you get another:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvZqWq0ZNjk
Arseholes gonna steal a point at Carrow Road
AC Milan could score any time now.
89th minute thank you very much. Now if Roma and Napoli could do their damn jobs it would be Magnifico!
Heard a helluva stat on a podcast this week: JUST McCaffrey’s receiving totals so far this season = OBJ. His rushing totals = ALL of Nick Chubb. Essentially, you’re starting two players in one slot.
I have seen movies where this is the case.
Looks like Bill O’Brien gets to buy all the groceries.
Hippo, how does Los Donks defense match up with LAC? They gonna have trouble with anyone?Or is this just gonna be a nut cutting, bitter cold División matchup?
it’s a reasonable matchup, unless Clippers du Merde run the ball 40x
For daily fantasy, I’m eyeing up Lindsay (UNDRAFTED!! COLORADO!!) and Sutton. Avoiding all bolts, unless you think one might pop.
Henry, maybe
How do you double a TE? Linebacker and safety?
Sneaky revenge game for Jay Ajayi if Philly gets a comfortable lead. Just sayin
Not gonna lie. I want a London team that plays at 10:00 every Sunday morning.
I also think microwaves should work faster, and if my GPS was REALLY trying I’ll bet it could detect a signal.
Mornin (checks watch… seriously?!) Afternoon ya kinky bastards! How’re ya this fine day? 😀
Are there Lumberg memes in Gooner-land:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFRa7Ovym8s
Pro’lly, but I’ve excised Arsenal from my head until the end of the season 😀
Hey Zach Ertz, are you playing mind games against the Fins, or are you playing? MY ONLY OTHER OPTION IS DOYLE!
This is a lovely, heartwarming little story: https://lardcave.net/text/the_racist_tree.html
/sees title, detects sarcasm.
eh, can’t leave up that subtitle, nvm
Stunning sunrise in Los Angeles this morning.
I haven’t seen this level of Alabama on Alabama violence since last night.
Windy today, boys! We’ve got 15+ mph winds in the (kickoff) forecast in Cincy, Carolina, Jax, and KC.
Could equal a YUGE day for your Fourny type RBs.
I gots Jags ML, and Tits ML in a tidy parlay.
Tits/Humps is gonna be a fistfight. And I’ll root for Jaboo, so he gets hit with the Mush Hammer.