Heckfire! That was a great day of football yesterday. So many twists, turns, silliness and what have you. If you haven’t, you must read Hippo’s recap for no other reason that it’s handy to be fluent in a second language. Let’s head on over to…
Fallout:
Punditbots, having heard the news that Josh Gordon was suspended indefinitely again are insisting for the nth time that, “Oh, he’s done. He’ll never play in this league again!” They then sat up on their hind legs and begged for a treat from Roger Goodell. Thing is, Gordon has a degree from the University of Phoenix and he will once again rise from the hash. (does anyone smoke hash anymore?)
-The news says that Chris Godwin is done-just after Evans was shut down for the year last week. As a Jameis owner I’m not the least bit worried. He is a relentless passing machine that, after getting at least one intercept out of the way in the 1st quarter, will go on to garner multiple 6 spots. It’s just that the names will be different.
-After trouncing the Fins the Giants front office released a statement that said, “You can take our #2 spot in the draft when you pry it from our cold, dead, well-manicured hands!” They are still on track despite winning because they have a lousier strength of schedule than the Lions, Potato Skins and Fins.
TO THE GAME!
Colts/Saints:
With two TD tosses Old Breezy leapfrogs Brady and ties Manning for most career thingys. He’ll likely get there and beyond with the help of Micheal Thomas, who happens to be chasing Marvin Harrison’s record of 143 catches in a year. Thomas is at 121 with a few games to go but most importantly, is being ‘defended’ by Pierre Desir who is allowing an embarrassing 67% catch rate.
Fight to the death in the comments!
Man, I did not play poker well at *all* tonight. It was a travesty that I came in fifth. I almost managed to quad up on the hand that I went out on with nothing more than a pair of 3’s, which would have been very amusing, but someone managed to river a straight.
I really liked “Richard Jewell” and hope the accusations aren’t correct because it’s a major plot point. Kathy Bates was incredible.
Guess who made the championship game and is projected to lose it by 20+?
HOLY SHEET tWBS might actually win the playoffs this year!?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsPh-EgH65M
TEAM OF DESTINY BABY!!!!
/promptly loses by 50 next week
Drew Brees is still a corny fucker for wearing eye black inside of a dome at night.
HAVE AT YOU, GOOD SIR!!!
/ good luck this week
100!
My god, I’m gonna get knocked out. .28 short. Balls.
Evening lizard people. I think I now lead the non-DFO Con people, because Sharkbait and I are chilling and that makes 4 of ya.
And Sharky has met BFC who has met the LA contingent, so we’re practically related!
I’ve never been to DFOCon but have done the bar crawl with the SoCal contingent. I’ve also met Sharky, Litre, Horatio, and makeitsnow. Lady BFC is still shocked I haven’t been murdered by one of you imaginary folks.
Mrs GTD and the kidlets were sure that Litre_Cola was a serial killer and i was about to the latest victim, when we met.
And there’s the record.
This Kamara kid might be good at the fitbaw.
Alright! Reds just signed another Starting Pitcher completing the overhaul of their starting rotation.
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/mlb/reds/2019/12/16/wade-miley-agrees-2-year-15-million-contract-cincinnati-reds/2671355001/
This is how bad the Bengals season is. I’m looking forward to baseball. Baseball!
Wanna go to Sarasota and watch Orioles’ spring training? I am. This should make you feel better now?
IT’S MILEY!
/The Soup references
I could really use a turnover right about now.
No, not apple.
Guess I should’ve bet on the Saints after all…
Eli Apple called for a penalty. Not shocked.
Just bench Brees so I can at least win one post season game this week. Ugh!
I’m not conceding just yet, but I think Fronk has this one in the bag.
El Tractoricito’s bum leg may have been my undoing this week.
Nah. Ded.
FINAL GRADES ARE IN! OFF FOR FIVE WEEKS!
Live footage of WCS leaving work before break.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d67Jqs4JtOs
Five weeks????
How in the holy hell is that possible?
I knew I shoulda gone into teaching.
Higher edumaschun at it’s finest!
Staff that has to be in after the New Year are celebrating too. No faculty and no students for a few weeks!!!!
Howevah, I’m sure that you are one of the “good ones” WCS.
“I’m in town until Tuesday”, she texted yesterday. Should’ve noticed the lack of emojis to parse intent beyond “Just Sayin”. Any way, CLOTS SUCK!
/AUK auk… [echo from empty Apt.]
Isn’t that code for “take me out already!”?
Yes. But the Tits were playing!
I know I know
WTF? It’s only 6:36. Everything’s over? I just made a gif!
Don’t let that stop you.
Deprived a record. Back to the expanse.
So glad they avoided fucking up the show by landing on a planet
I do enjoy Burn Gorman. Also, his second is one of the hockey ladies from letterkenny.
I’ve liked him ever since his effort in Layer Cake. Now there’s a movie that launched a couple careers.
My gif too large? Sorry.
Oh woops i dropped my too-large-gif all over the ground, how clumsy of me.
Dropped this monster gif for my Magnum dot-com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgRE6BPhN2I
The Sheriff is near?
Experian boost is stunning. Just admitting credit ratings are an arbitrary joke that your entire adult life is dependent on.
Come on Brissett. Shit or get off the pot. I NEED TACKLES!!
You know, since Drew Brees and Tom Brady are both active and will be trading the NFL TD record, I demand a show-stopping, on field celebration every time one of them gets one more TD than the other.
Complete with B-2 and F-35 flyover and a short recording of Trump congratulating the white guy for his record, and then he fugues off for 35-minute Fidel Castro-esque rant about how there is no quid pro whatever the fuck and he has the body of young Sylvester Stallone and tells all his Chuds to go out and murder all minorities and democrats with their second amendment solutions but Fox News says he was just joking wink-wink.
“We need a catchy name for this plan…how does Final Solution sound to you?”
-White House staffer, probably
Nah, its Star Wars Week. Lets go with Order 66.
that’ll do, FITBAW. See you on Sabado
Yep, thinking the same thing.
Think I’ll bail, maybe check back in during the 4th.
At least NO’s D hasn’t screwed me over yet.
I’M COMING FOR YOU SHARKBAIT!!!!
Let me rephrase that.
tWBS, dramatic re-creation:
Oh shit, I didn’t watch Jeopardy tonight.
SONOFAMOTHER!!!!!!
Evening, folks. Finally found a little bit of time to elf – nothing like football in the background to kill your productivity at making Xmas gifts!
With a lathe? Macramé? Microbrews? Felt? Do elaborate.
Musical notation software, my good sir!
If I ever make a designer drug, I’m gonna call it “chargeback” to invoke the euphoria of sticking it to some shmuck trying to rip you off.
I have to drive back to western North Carolina again first thing in the morning.
Have you ever been to western North Carolina? It’s marginally better than eastern North Carolina. “Marginally” being the key word there.
I’ll take the mountains over anything east of I-95
Oh hell no do not go east of 95 unless you go really fast.
Stop when you see the water.
or just keep driving into the water
I do got a surfboard.
Yeah grandparents retired up in Highlands in the mountains near the Georgia, SC and NC border. The mountains are pretty in summer and fall didnt go up there much in the winter. Uhhh Asheville is cool?
I’m going to Candler again. Candler, NC. Yes, it’s a real place and I didn’t make it up.
Even in December, I’d rather be going to the beach.
I like going to the beach in the winter. Everything is so forlorn.
Agreed totally.
and NO PPL
Yep. Me and former GF spent a couple nights around thanksgiving at a B&B in Provincetown a couple years back, only about 20% of the businesses were open, dark gray skies and blustery cold wind, I just love that atmosphere.
Supposedly its only 8 miles out of Asheville should find some good ther.
Yup, sounds about right.
My son is trying to choose a premiership team. He’s narrowed it down to Chelsea (likes Pulisic) or Everton. Need hippo to talk sense to the lad.
Well Chelsea doesn’t even play in Chelsea so they are frauds to start. Frank Lampard is a complete douchebag, they hold John Terry in high regard, and are basically just scum.
WE GONNA GET CARLO ANCELOTTI!!
/also, Frank Lampard is a Tory cunt
Monday Night Football has become an exercise in parsing why an adult would willingly insist that he be addressed by the name, ‘Booger’.
Those sweet, sweet Mucinex royalties.
**FIRE UP THE YEAH RIGHT SIGNAL**
House LemonJello is doing up Prime Rib for Christmas dinner – I need some ideas for seasoning and preparation.
I’ll hang up and listen to your response.
Not really for Xmas but this was a quick instapot recipe you can try on a non holiday for roast beef. made yesterday with a guiness au jus
https://foodieandwine.com/roast-beef-recipe/
I’ll bet he goes simple S & P-maybe a bit of garlic. She’s such a fine cut of meat, there shouldn’t be much fooling around.
/waits
That would be my suggestion. Simple dry rub. Use a goddamn oven thermometer — an ovenproof one that you can check without opening the oven door repeatedly (and even set an alarm) is nice.
Make Yorkshire pudding.
Oh, and some people recommend cutting the ribs off and tying them back on with twine before cooking, on the grounds that it’s easier to cut the uncooked roast. Haven’t tried that yet.
The most Montreal ad I’ve seen yet:
You must have been speechless when you first saw it.
I like hash. You used to be able to buy it at the grey shops in BC before legalization. Now it isn’t available there as thr stores are following provincial guidelines. Bummer, thr Moroccan stuff was smoooth.
I never had any other experience other than going sleepy by-by shortly afterwards.
Ok Mr. Leonard, I know you’ve been carrying my dead ass for the last 2 years, but I reeeeally need you tonight. Think ya got 9 points in you?
/ btw, good luck Turn Your Head And Goff, whichever of us degenerates you are
That’s MY team! And I need an immediate ejection at the coin flip for your gentleman.
Arizona
dog eatersCoyotes going all in, acquiring girls-name-having Taylor Hall. If they win the Cup, do we have pity and count it as a Canadian win?At the ice Giants- ice Titans. Fuck I forgot how expensive beers are down here
So the Senate completely supports a corrupt commander-in-chief and has no problems letting him do whatever the hell he wants.
When did we become the Galatic Republic?!
In all seriousness, this shows what happens when the two-party system breaks down (and our elections system basically makes third parties completely implausible). We need competition to drive better ideas, and keep everyone honest. When 1 of the 2 (or both) quits operating in good faith, shit breaks apart.
If a 3rd Party forms one of the parties will need to fold or shatter. My vote is whoever loses in ’20 will have the moderates bolt tired from the Far Left Activist wing of the Democratic Party or the moderates bolt from the Pro-Trump, Ultra Nationalist Republican Party. It won’t be sudden though. It will start as a grassroots thing until they have enough people to form a party. If you have 30 party members holding elected seats in Congress, you’re a third party. If you have 3 party members holding elected seats in Congress, you’re an Independent.
When a strong, relevant third party emerges it keeps the older parties in check, in that they both have to move to the center policy-wise a bit in order to court votes. Parties don’t just collapse-if a third party comes to the fore the larger parties reassess their policies. Hardcore members may split off but they tend to become marginalized.
What I expect to happen is that a far left party will emerge here in CA, and Democrats will congeal in the center, and the Republican party will become functionally irrelevant. You’ll see something similar emerge anywhere that there is ranked choice (or approval) voting, though elsewhere this might include a far *right* party with the Democratic party becoming the irrelevant one. Ultimately this will lead both major parties to occupy more of a centrist position as far as national politics are concerned.
LOL California and far left.
There’s a reason why that hasn’t happened since 1860.
The two-party system is a large part of the problem.
These Trade Federation folks nasty nasty business. But see how they like the force of our tariffs, some say the forcest and maybe its true. Our clone soldiers are the best and high trained force in the nation. Other day I talked with my good friend JarJar Senator from South Carolina and he reassured me not a single wrinkle on my body and he checked me thouroughly I assure you.
1968
Need -6 pts from New Orleans D tonight. Cook and Godwin injuries deflated my chance to roll over the dread McCaffrey owner in our league
I need like 5 FGs and a few surprise TDs from kicker Lionel Hutz. And that’s just to get me to check the score.
For a moment there I thought you were talking about the Mueller investigation that was a total hoax.
If the Democrats want to pull off the Hail Mary, they need to trick Trump to testify under oath before the Senate. Either he’ll perjure himself or 20 Republicans will finally hear him speak for the first time, get sick of hearing him talk and vote him out.
I’d love it if he testified, but it would be like the debates – sane people would see through his nonsense and empty promises and “in two weeks I’ll tell you” shit-talk, but his supporters would hear nothing other than a choir of angels every time he opened his mouth full of rotting teeth (apparently he has bad teeth; he said something about Pelosi’s falling out and by his consistent pattern of projection it is safe to assume he’s talking about himself).
A small shoutout to a commenter that brings it on a regular basis. I mean, someone has to cheer for the Detroit Dreadfulwings, right?
The Fanometer is almost at “Bag on Head”
ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER stopped following them and now he’s happy and married. Football is worse than heroin.