- Lesser Footy – Now MOAR Than EVAR – May 30, 2020
- Lesser Footy May Day – How Many tWBS’s Shall There Be? – May 23, 2020
- Most Glorious Return and Regerts FOAR 2028-29 – May 2, 2020
Huzzah, I hope y’all ain’t tired of the Premiership. Because there’s a metric fuckton of it this weekend.
Bournemouth got a really good point off Arsenal on Boxing Day, so they go right back on the road to meet the ever-tricky Trashbirds of Brighton (7:30, NBCSN). My willingness to set the alarm depends on how early I gives up on Friday night JV mediocrity. Gus Johnson is calling Team Cornpone against the Troi Boiz as I type.
yeah right’s Cherries no doubt saving a Draw shall be followed by three matches at 10:00, led by Everton’s visit to take on the Barcodes (NBCSN). Newcastle, much like a K-Mart version of Leicester, have been punching way above their underlying analytics. They won’t likely be as humbled as the Foxes were Thursday night, but a fall is coming. Don Carlo won’t lose to these shits. Unless he does. Footy is hard to predict.
Norwich host Spurs in the regular Spotlight Dance spot (12:30, NBC), but you get extended ballroom time with United at Burnley next (2:45, NBC). Both biggies are away, so there will likely be at least some dramatics. But Burnley are dire, and United may have finally hit their long-awaited stride. Leicester at the Hammers are a bonus NBC Gold matchup in the 12:30 window.
Holy War action between Arsenal and Chelsea highlight your Sunday morning (9:00, NBSN), followed by the Redshite hosting shit-hot Wolves (11:30, NBCSN). Looks like they join City (who forfeited all remote Title hopes in Wolverhampton yesterday) away to Team Knifey – who can totally beat the champs – in progress. Match starts at 1p, which interferes with Mysterious NFL Week 17 anyway. I will cherish my time with Coked-Up RedZone Guy whilst I can, thanks.
Haven’t these JV exhibitions been liquid shit? You get two MOAR, before the Raging Semis start (which shall get stand-alone coverage):
Memphis (+7) v. Paedo State (Pick a Bale of Cotton! Bowl, Jerralworld – Noon, ESPN)
As if this weren’t gonna be a big enough ass-reaming (sorry for the Paedo State visuals there), FedEx is missing a bunch of starters. I don’t care enough to look up whether it’s grades, NFL prep, injury, or hooliganism. Don’t want to think of how shit-ass dumb you must be to fail out of Memphis. As an ATHLETE. Baddies roll.
Iowa State (+3.5) v. Notre Dame (Preliminary Hitler Mice Bowl, Orlando, FL – Noon, ABC)
At least I think this is the preliminary one. I get confused. Team Cornpone State has a legitimate shot here, they are well-coached and athletic. Plus, I think Big Twaaaaalve sides are better suited to exhibition “competition” where defense is often minimal, and guys don’t want to get hurt (more than usual). Plus, Brian Kelly killed a kid. Well, maybe KIDS, who knows for sure. But at least one. And I will remind the world of that (as will Horatio, no doubt) as long as he’s employed. Fuck him, fuck the Domers.
Balls’ Liga MX Minuto
I told teh Hippo that América had not won the first leg of any series in this Liguilla de Apertura. I urged him to bet Monterrey to win. Did he do so?
Yes, it would have been gut-wrenching as Monterrey did not score the winning goal until stoppage time, but score it they did.
Now, they go to the Azteca with a slim advantage on the scoreboard (2-1) but América has that precious away goal.
The second leg is Sunday night. I want Monterrey to win, but América has them right where they want them.