Your “Let’s Put a Nice Bow on the Season, Shall We?” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

God, I hate the city.

There’s too much rushing around and for no good reason that I can see. Folks being busy for the sake of being busy because everyone around them is ‘busy’ or pretending to be. Things do seem to slow down a bit on the weekends and that’s my favourite time of the week. Guess I’m like most in that respect.

I found a small apartment-I’m on the top floor of a three story walk-up. Only six units and it’s a quiet building. The one next to us is the same deal but there are some younger, party-type people there. The neighbourhood is a good mix of well-to-do types, starter families, single worker bots and random people like me that keep to themselves-for the most part. I say for for the most part because just the other day I had a little adventure…

I should back up a bit. A few Saturdays ago I was looking out my living room window onto the park across the street and noticed two younger mothers arguing with a dicey-looking fellow. Didn’t make much of it the first time but it happened again just the other day. I really didn’t think it wise to stick my nose in but, well, the young women were visibly upset. I grabbed a jacket and hurried across the street.

-Is there a problem here?

-Yeah, you could mind your own business, pal.

-This guy sits on the bench and just stares at our girls. It’s disgusting!

-It’s a goddamn public park and I can do whatever the hell I want. I ain’t bothering anybody.

-We know about you, you and your, your history.

-Fuck off, you don’t know anything about me.

He put out his cigarette and left, crossed the street and walked into the apartment building next to mine.

The ladies thanked me for intervening.

-What’s this ‘history’ thing you mentioned?

-He’s got a molestation charge against him, we heard. How he’s allowed to live across the street from a park that kids play at, I have no idea! There’s a ton of kids that come here without being supervised. We’ve seen him talking to a few of them-We just know he’s setting up one or two of them. We’ve called authorities and they’ve done nothing!

-Huh, that’s shitty. I guess I’ll just keep an eye out when I can.

-Thanks.

I went back to my apartment and did some thinking. The park abutted a parking lot which was in turn beside an old arena which was no longer in use. I took a little stroll behind the arena and saw that there was a small area of overgrown grass and high fences that separated the grass from the backyards of roughly six houses. Hmmm. This could work…

The skeevy guy actually respected the no-smoking rule in the apartment complexes-I guess to his own benefit. He did smoke in the park at all times of the day and night and talked to more than a few kids that happened to walk past him. Some would engage him, others would not. It was a bit bothersome that the area, especially the parking lot, was so well-lit so I set my alarm for 3am, collected a few rocks and broke a few lamps.

His last cig was usually around 11 at night so I waited until Sunday before engaging him.

He was there-per usual. I walked out of my place and took a look around-there weren’t many houses with lights on. Perfect. I approached him-

-There you are. Me and you-we’ve gotta sort things out.

He could see what was coming. Well, I don’t think he saw everything. He got up and got in my face.

-Yeah, I guess we do, because I’m not going to stop coming here and you’re not going to stop me.

He took a swing at me, glancing the side of my face and then tackled me. I shook loose and backed up across the small parking lot, towards the rear of the arena. I began selling him a false bill of goods. I put my hands up as I backpedaled.

-Uh, okay, easy now. Maybe just relax.

Of course he sensed the advantage

-I’m gonna fuck you up.

At the edge of the lot I let him edge closer to me. I could smell his godawful breath.

-Thought you could just scare me away?

I reached into my pocket quickly and pulled out a fist-sized piece of concrete. As he swung he leaned forward and I hit him flush on his left temple-his knees buckled and he fell. He tried to get up but his legs weren’t obeying him. From my other pocket I grabbed a plastic grocery bag and wrapped it over his head. He kicked a bit but it didn’t take long. I dragged him the short distance behind the arena and wrapped him in the tarp I had left there the night I was ‘dimming the lights’.

I woke up the next morning. I checked the weather. It looks like we’re getting about six inches of snow total today and tomorrow.

I’ll bet they find him in the spring.

TO THE GAME!

Niners/Seahawks:

San Franny heretofore stifling D is looking a mite vulnerable this last little while. Over their last four tilts they’re 2-2 and have given up an average of 32(!) points. Yoinks! Shanahan The Younger doesn’t have much time to right the ship but playing against a running back depleted Seattle squad might just do the trick. Oh yeah, (limited) Beastquake is back in town.

Have at it.

 

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hippofant

Shanahan’s spewing a LOT of f-words at his defense right now.

Redshirt

Pete Carroll (over the helmet radio): “Okay, lets run a quick slant pass to the slot receiver.”
Russell Wilson (while giving the finger in Pete Carroll’s direction): “Halfback dive, on two.”

TheRevanchist

I hate the Pixel 4, only because of the commercials.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Gatoraids

Carroll finally goes to the dive

Viva La Tabula Raza

At least this didn’t happen again.
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litre_cola

BEEF MOE DOWN

Redshirt

Sorry. The Fresh Prince joke sent me on a YouTube binge. I’m now into a version of Let It Go where the music is all removed. It amazing how removing the music turns it from “Elsa accepts and comes to terms with who she is” to “Elsa finally goes insane”.

King Hippo

Some good play design there.

TheRevanchist

I had to pee really bad and totally went Beast Mode to the bathroom. Made it on time.

LemonJello

Artist’s rendition:
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Col. Duke LaCross

Over the line Smokey!

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Gratliff

I have no idea how Russ got that throw off like that, hold or no

litre_cola

David Moore? Are we sure he isn’t an Eagles receiver?

LemonJello

BEEF MOE: Activated.

King Hippo

Monterrey keeper looks like Cris Collinsworth. Also, why are they abbreviated “RYDS?”

litre_cola

I am on channel 7 in Mexico and they are abbreviated MTY

ballsofsteelandfury

Rayados

Gratliff

Jason Garrett: From Ginger to Brown

King Hippo

Sure, I could see him going back to his Ivy roots…oh #ThePauls??? Hell 2 da naw!

ArmedandHammered

Don’t care as long as Norv Turner does not get a head coach job.

Gratliff

It would bring me great joy to bring Norval back into my regular vocabulary

Gratliff

But they said they want an exceptional leader. Sounds like a Princeton man to me!

ArmedandHammered

I think the Browns need Riverboat Ron.

King Hippo

yup – a sane grownup

Viva La Tabula Raza

My Edward Jones guy is a Princeton man, from Montana. He was the president of the College Republicans for a period of time while he attended school there. I met him back in the mid-2000s at a Drinking Liberally meetup. He had just spent several tours over Aghanistan/Iraq way as a USAF Special Ops (AFSOC) Intel officer, and was on duty the night Pat Tillman got zapped by friendly fire; he thought there was some cover-up of that incident going on, and going forward after following up his Afghanistan deployment, with a couple tours in Iraq he was no longer a college Republican. After he got out, poor guy got called up for reserve duty, a year fighting the FARC in Colombia, which destroyed his marriage to a beautiful intelligent gal. He gave me the dog I have now when I moved into my house 10+ years ago.
Moral of the story is, not all Princeton alum, even the Republican ones, are bad people.

litre_cola

Well Hippo Sexy Mexi Futbol is on!

King Hippo

Murrica got what they needed early!

King Hippo

but still gimped across the room for my remote

Gratliff

Are they rebooting Big Fan?
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King Hippo

that was a fine movie

King Hippo

they may call that incomplete, in which case SEA can at least make ’em punt.

King Hippo

or they’ll just give up??

rockingdog

LOLcomment image

Senor Weaselo

Fun fact. I did one of those “holy shit I need the right lane because it’s a left lane exit” maneuvers. Christmas night. On the Cross Bronx. With a full string quartet in the car.

This was after the people braking to start a drag race, with me directly behind one of them, and a truck behind me.

rockingdog

Yikes.

King Hippo

Noo Yawk street cred!

Gratliff

Can’t blame Marshawn for that one when he had 3 Niners there trying to take the handoff

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know why the Seahawks didn’t challenge the spot on the previous play; it looked like he would have had it.

hippofant

Wasn’t it within 2 minutes?

King Hippo

yup, and spot seemed right in live speed

rockingdog

Found a funny:
Why am I the only naked person at this gender reveal party?

King Hippo

– T. Lawrence, Clemson, SC

King Hippo

this whittles down to 13-7, we can has game

King Hippo

Breesus having to go to the Tundra is likely the end of the Saints’ window.

Gratliff

Gonna need them to get knocked off by the Vikes next week for the Eagles to have even the smallest hope if they’re lucky enough to survive Seattle, and that would put Philly up in Green Bay for the divisional round.

King Hippo

unlikely, but nae impossible

litre_cola

That game is Spur’s nightmare.

King Hippo

SeaTruthers be cooked, man. Without the rushing threat, that OL can’t hold up.

litre_cola

Philly’s D line is the only thing in good shape.

King Hippo

yeah, you’ll have a puncher’s chance

hippofant

They’re also getting no rush of their own. Garopollo’s carving them up over the middle.

hippofant

Of course, as soon as I say that, Garropolo fucks up on two cutesy pass plays in the red zone.

hippofant

Nice drive.

LemonJello

-Jackie Kennedy, on the flight back from Dallas

litre_cola

Deebo comin.

Gratliff

Brandon Graham is the only good thing to come out of Michigan
https://twitter.com/PhillyFreck215/status/1211462488581136385

litre_cola

Why would there be a dude in a Cowboys jacket there? Scout?

Petronel

OK then

Redshirt

I haven’t seen this much focus on two people kneeling in between a circle of 9 men since that video I saw online a few days ago.

TheRevanchist

When a room full of 10 guys isn’t enough to please you, just go for 11 guys. I don’t judge.

Gratliff

Please stop putting voice activated assistants in your home

TheRevanchist

Alexa, remind to not put any more voice activated assistants in my home.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wouldn’t have one if they paid me.
I don’t even trust my phone as far as I can throw it.

Well, actually I could probably chuck my phone pretty far, but you know what I mean.

hippofant

Letting big tech firms listen in to everything going on in my house? What could possibli go wrong?

King Hippo

srsly, I liked smartphones and Wi-Fi primarily because they helped me to do less fucking talking

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t Mess With My Discount!!!!

Mistborn Impossible

Tre “smoking” Flowers

Brocky

Lord do I wish I had seen this earlier
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Redshirt

I don’t care if it will throw the design of the website off, this needs to be bannered.

Brocky

I’ll try it in comment form:

Brocky

I just imagine the Lombardi trophy dressed as the Fresh Prince yelling “HOW COME THE COWBOYS DON’T WANT ME MAN?!?!”

litre_cola

Kind of happy I didn’t go to Scotchys town back in Sept. I survived meeting Game Time Decision.

Game Time Decision

Haha I was just late. You were never in any danger

Gratliff

So Janeane is easily the weakest link on this team, right?

King Hippo

also down like 4 DL

hippofant

Yeah. Been hearing a lot that the 49ers have lost all their backup defensive linemen, and that’s been draining their starters and sapping their 4-man rush.

King Hippo

seems to add up, they especially need the bye week

Redshirt

Has 49ers always wore these as their away jerseys or is this just a throwback?

Senor Weaselo

The Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl? That’s probably a top ten ridiculous sponsor.

Spur

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King Hippo

FOAR TEH GREATER GOOD!! #NorthernOntarioHero

Redshirt

Freddie Kitchens has been fired. By my calculations, they probably had the buses peel out of the Rest Stop just outside Washington CH exit on I-71 and left him stranded there.

LemonJello

Send up the Scotchy signal!

Game Time Decision

Tomsula will be by shortly to show him the ropes

Mistborn Impossible

Ropes? Nah, nothing so fancy. You can tie things together with old shoelaces.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Shoelaces? Nah, they took those away. But don’t fret; you’ve still got options.” – Aaron Hernandez

TheRevanchist

Browns lose forever. Kitchens MUST be the reason for all that losing for so many years.

Gratliff

Whoo! Loser gets to explain during the offseason how one of the best teams in the league loses to a pretender in the wild card round!

Redshirt

Its funny when its not my team!

Spur

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Rodgers wishes he was born earlier, explains the mom hate

Spur

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Spur

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Spur

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Unsurprised

It’s a shame that thing didn’t bite him. Their bites aren’t lethal, but a faceful of the bacteria and crap in their mouths would definitely ruin his lif— Oh, wait. maybe it did bite him.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mistborn Impossible

Martha Stewart’s show is about ginger today! I’ve been on a huge ginger kick. Ginger lemonade, veggie fried rice… yum!

Senor Weaselo

Redshirt’s Karen Gillian sense is tingling!

Gatoraids

Jerry Jones bout to go on a big ginger kick too

TheRevanchist

I love me some ginger. One place I frequent does a fried rice with the pickled ginger. So good!

Gratliff

Pickled ginger is gonna be Princeton in a few hours

ballsofsteelandfury

LOVE the hobo tales!

LemonJello

Agreed.

King Hippo

chuh chuh

Spur

KC, Ravens, Viks, 49ers. Bills, Tits, Ospreys are my teams now.
All the rest of you can eat ass. I hope Rodgers breaks his leg and the MAGA Philly QB loses to a black QB

Senor Weaselo

Vigilante hobo murdering!