“No Bullets Spent” Lesser Footy Morning

King Hippo

With world events what they have been this week, I find it particularly appropriate to feature Spoon:

What a delightful band, with amazing longevity.  I hope they are Evertonians, but unlikely.

Arsenal are away to Crystal Palace to kick things off (7:30, NBCSN).  Uncle Woy has at least temporarily taken Cenk Tosun off the Everton wage bill.  Thank fuck for small miracles.  Please Jeebus, let him score so they exercise their purchase option.  Vile shite, Cenk.

Burnley at Chelski (10:00, NBCSN) is your featured match in the main window, because…Ugly American player?  Who wants to see this dire match.  Hippo’s Toffee’s are home to Brighton in a must-win fixture (GAMBLOR devotees take note, expect a response to that woeful showing at Anfield), or even United/Norwich or Wolves/Barcodes.  All on Gold, all promise at least some degree of interest.

Spotlight dance is a real cracker, Redshite away to Mourinho’s Spurs (12:30, NBC).  I have a vague sense that The Formerly Special One can finally put a 2019-20 loss on stupid pisshead Jurgen Klopp.  The longer this unbeaten streak goes, the testier I gets.  It’s also one of those matchups where Tottenham clearly need the win MOAR.

Moose Hornets/Cherries (9:00) and City away to Villa (11:30) are your NBCSN Sunday Funday duo.  I mean, it’s worth having on in the background.  I wouldn’t be fighting through a post-apocalyptic hellscape to get to a teevee box or nuthin.

European Leagues slowly get back into the swing, with a hefty Serie A slate on Sunday, Copa Lana Del Rey all weekend in Spain, and all French divisions back at it.  The party is still missing the Germans, but they will eventually show up.  With beer.

Y’all be good.  The last full NFL weekend awaits.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

Next thread is up and running.*

*jogging**

**stumbling***

***staggering****

****breathing heavily

BC Dick

Does anyone else watch this Joe Pera show? It’s a delight.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey guys, what time is the Patriots gaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BC Dick

The first 136 HAs were warranted but those last three were over the line. I paid good money for these infrared Jammies and I feel cheated.

Gratliff

THOTS AND PRAY-UHS

Senor Weaselo

“Thots? Where?” -GRONK

scotchnaut

Cuse wrecked shit way back when. Now they’re 1-3 in the ACC and facing Virginny later today. It’s a long way down.

scotchnaut

“You’re just a punch-drunk sycophant-a little SOB.”

check out his work with The Commotions…

/hell, I’ll help you out. This is one of the most perfectly crafted songs I’ve ever come across. Rattlesnakes.

Horatio Cornblower

The world has caught up with Boeheim, and everyone but him and the Syracuse AD knows it.

scotchnaut

Not to go all “bk109 Obligatory Contrary Response” on you, but they both know it as well and they don’t give a rat’s fuck.

Horatio Cornblower

That is indeed a bold strategy.

scotchnaut

The Butler kid on Baylor is a small dude that can get to the hoop whenever he wants. This will come in handy in the tourney. Think Kemba Walker.

scotchnaut

“Kansas Blown Out At Home. What Happens Next?-an investigative report.”

-Dorothy, reporter

scotchnaut

Hey, you’ve got a big sausage in your hands. Where are you going with toppings?

scotchnaut

Relish. The answer is relish. Perverts.

scotchnaut

ONIONS! on his belt just made a reference to Marques Haynes of the Globetrotters. We’re both old as hell because I know what he’s yakking about.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Lemme know if things get interesting and he makes a Marquis de Condorcet reference

Senor Weaselo

The best thing with spoon.

Mistborn Impossible
Mistborn Impossible

The first half of Inter v. Atlanta today might be fun (NFL playoffs take precedence once they kick off), but the real fpooty match of the weekend is the Madrid Derby for the Spanish Supercup tomorrow!

Go Atleti! Fuck you Real!

litre_cola

Welcome to the futbol Madrid hate team Mistborn. Hippo, Balls, Don T and I are happy to have you. Fuck those fucks hard.

Mistborn Impossible
Mistborn Impossible

Pulisic got injured in practice recently, he’ll be out for a few weeks, and I don’t see why I should care what happens to Chelsea if Pukisic isn’t in the lineup

Also, everyone knows this is the best Spoon song:

Fronkenshteen

JMU ded.

litre_cola

Future me is going to be real happy with current me. I bought extra polish sausages for stoner me. Mrs. Cola may not like the results though, however she lived with BC Dick for 20 yrs

theeWeeBabySeamus

When you start emitting fumes, which one ends up on the couch?

BC Dick

I strongly endorse this pre-meditated act of nasal warfare. It was only 15 years but it probably felt like 20 to her.

Senor Weaselo

Wait, what? Context?

BC Dick

We used to live on a polyamorous farm commune in the Yukon.

litre_cola

Siblings.

BC Dick

Yes, of course, we were all brothers and sisters of the sun.

scotchnaut

I’m on ‘Team Hot Italian’.*

*easy does it on the fennel, buddy. If I wanted the taste of licorice I’d buy fookin’ licorice.

Senor Weaselo

As you would expect I am also on that team. And possibly hotter if it existed.

yeah right

We had a power surge the other day and it blew up the motor on the filter to my fish tank.
Replacement bought, swapped out, installed and now I have a happy fish tank again.

Figured I could do a couple of productive things today before getting shit-all stupid.

scotchnaut

yeah right: Hey, we got a surge over here. What are you gonna do?”

The Power Station: “Bang a Gong, Get it on!”

yeah right: ……

yeah right

Needs more T-Rex.

scotchnaut

Ask and you shall receive. One of the most under-rated guitar riffs of all time, btw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

scotchnaut

Bill Raftery is looking old. You have to wonder if he wears ONIONS! on his belt.

BC Dick

That was the style at the time. It’ll come back.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If Indiana holds on, I’ve made 130 smackers today.
/nawt betting NC State/VT

litre_cola

Costco successful, polish sausage delicious. Next stop clothes shopping for Gigantor the toddler. These peach thc gummies are dangerously delish.

yeah right

My current gummies are 3:1 CBD:THC and they are also peach flavored.

They are delightful.

Mistborn Impossible
Mistborn Impossible

I make my own edibles, for me a 1:5 CBD:THC ratio works the best!

And fuck anyone who says CBD doesn’t do anything. I’ve never taken CBD on its own without THC, but it absolutely changes the THC high and makes it less of a high and more of a painkiller.

scotchnaut

In “You Can’t Touch The Ball With Your Foot” News, Baylor is up on Kansas early.

Fronkenshteen

Any reason to think spurs break free of the limpid tentacles of packed Liverpudlian defense in the second half?

Senor Weaselo

Trickeration in the under-JV Footy Championship!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

And a DOINK!

yeah right

Better get up and moving if I’m going to get in a breakfast and a grocery store run before game time.

Think I’ll make some carnitas and a pot of beans for Sunday Gravy tomorrow.

There’s plenty if you want to stop by.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Welp, I slept like 9 hours but am still exhausted. Really hope this isn’t the flu.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, time to go watch the Fighten’ Archies upset tOSU.

litre_cola

Off to Costco on a Saturday with a toddler. The appropriate amount of edibles have been taken. Oh yes there will be hot dogs and ice cream

theeWeeBabySeamus

Get me one of those big assed jars of pretzels.
I’m good for the money.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ooooh, Cheetos too!!!!!!

bk109
bk109

That seems like a divine punishment of the harshest kind… Were you Hitler or Stalin or Eddison-adjacent in a previous life or something? 😀

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m tired. It’s been a long week. And I have my niece this weekend and she’s being little pain in the backside.

Currently she has commandeered my big TV to play XBox, which I suppose is my fault since I bought the XBox for her to begin with. But I told her just now, “Go ahead and get your mind right with it because at 8:00 tonight you lose the big TV. I’m gon’ watch Lamar!!!!! on teh big screen”. “Why can’t you watch it upstairs?” she asks.

BECAUSE I PAY THE BILLS AROUND HERE AND YOU JUST EAT MY FOOD AND MAKE A MESS AND ALSO BECAUSE I SAID SO.

See why I intentionally never made a kid?

bk109
bk109

Repeat after me (to her):” One more peep outta you, an’ the only gaming you’ll do is “snake” on my old Nokia” (don’t worry if you don’t recall having or buying a Nokia – they are always there, hiding, biding their time in the bottom of your discarded gizmo drawer. Never fully charged, yet never empty 😉

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Jesus, I just looked and you are right. Are…are you a sorcerer?

bk109
bk109

No, I just looked for Mini-USB cable (I got a film digitizer, but of course it didn’t come with a bloody cable :D) .. and instead… I found a 3310…And it turned on (’twas on a half-charge). Spooky thing is back when it was “new”, neither me nor my wife owned anything from Nokia and the only Nokias I’ve bought are a PureView and now a 7Plus, so we’re still a bit in the dark where the fuck it came from 😀

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The AK-47 of phones.

litre_cola

Either did I and look where that got me. – A. Cromartie

litre_cola

GOL TEH MIGHTY WHITEY AND GOL TEH TOFFEEEEES?

bk109
bk109

Unrelated: I just noticed on my DVR that it recorded Stephen King’s The Stand and I must say, I’d love for Netflix or another streaming service open to throwing a lot of cash at a marquee project to give it a big budget mini-series update.

Also, I guess 10TB is not enough… Might as well set it to record to the NAS directly

rockingdog
rockingdog

Found a funny:
🎶give me the vape pen
I need that smoke
I wanna end life with a cough and choke
and drift away🎶

rockingdog
rockingdog

Goooooo Chelski!

litre_cola

comment image

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Bad week for people listening when Liz tells them “No”.

litre_cola

HOW THE FUCK CAN I GET HANDBALL AND WHEELCHAIR BASKETBALL STREAMS BUT NOT MIGHTY WHITEY!!!

litre_cola

Hippo you have brainwashed me. On my teevee I have the Toffees game.

bk109
bk109

Just a quick PSA: Don’t let your spouse use liquid metal TIMs and then laugh maniacally at them after she accidentally shorts out the CPU and fries the whole system 😀

litre_cola

Pardon my ignorance but in this country TIM’s is sub par coffee and shitty pastries.

bk109
bk109

Thermal interface material, aka thermal paste, aka the shit that costs like cents per machine, yet every OEM (regardless of the “class” of machine) skimps on an’ causes your laptop (or pre-built desktop) or console run hotter than it has to. I do kinda (sorta) understand if that was happening in mass-market crap, but in business grade machines, workstations AND proper gaming machines – it’s fucking insane 😀

Quick example – both my work P52 and my personal Clevo both ran a bit on the hot side (and throttled), because of the shitty thermal paste and a 30 minute process later with a high-performance non-conductive paste shaved 20*C from the max temps BUT without throttling and with the GPUs now hitting way higher frequencies, so the net effect is … even more noticeable 😀

litre_cola

This BK I call him the Bulgrish Professor cuz he teaches Litre and teh Hippo every weekend.

bk109
bk109

That’s raycess! I worked long an’ hard to be a knock-off Irishman 😀 Hell, I even made cake when I relinquished my Bulgarian passport (home-made Schwarzwald cake)

litre_cola

To be sure, to be sure, I can nae see ure accent on teh screen.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Well Scotchy, fitting that the game ended in a tie after both teams had the same number of goals at the end of overtime.

scotchnaut

I can feel your hot breath on my neck.

litre_cola

Oooh Calgary vs the Zlatan.

litre_cola

The folks at Selhurst are all bundled up. It is 10 degrees C there you soft fucks. Come up here if ya want cold!!!

bk109
bk109

yeah, I noticed those softies… Here it’s also 10*C, yet I’m smoking outside wearing an Arsenal short-sleeve T-shirt (that I don’t mind potentially ruining with cigar ash aka a Van Persie 10)…

litre_cola

-18 “feels like”-28 here due to wind chill.

bk109
bk109

So long-sleeve or high BAC weather? 😀

litre_cola

Yes. Edibles cuz its too cold to burn one outside.

litre_cola

Mighty Whitey takes on Hull. Do I pay the 5 quid or find it online…

bk109
bk109

Arsenal are away to Crystal Palace to kick things off (7:30, NBCSN). Uncle Woy has at least temporarily taken Cenk Tosun off the Everton wage bill. Thank fuck for small miracles. Please Jeebus, let him score so they exercise their purchase option. Vile shite, Cenk.

I am sorry, but this is way incorrect, for you see I’m in a great mood today, which means that Arsenal have neither played nor will play a game today… Ergo, us losing away at Selhurst isn’t actually gonna happen ergo^2 – that information is incorrect 😀
(This wishful denial of reality’s been brought to you by:)

litre_cola

Uncle Woy is a fucking God.