Your AFC Divisional Round Playoff Game Open Thread

There are certain commentors here that are emotionally challenged, er, invested, I meant to say ‘invested’ in this game and they should be out in force tonight. Don’t forget to put on your kid gloves before engaging them-they’re in a vulnerable position right now what with everything on the line and all.

TO THE GAME!

Titans/Ravens:

-Rb Mark Ingram was ‘limited’ in practice late this week but he’ll play. Not sure how effective he’ll be. Maybe we’ll get a handful of Gus Edwards! That’s sticky.

-Speaking of running backs, there’s a broad-shouldered guy that has hoisted his team up there. Earlier in the year I pointed out that Oh Henry! wasn’t human and I stand by that observation. He’s got to do everything and a lot more in order to bulldoze his way to the W. There’s a real danger that the Ravens big, physical and aggressive D-line pushes Tennessee’s front backwards more often than not.

-I don’t think the Titans can win with Henry getting twice more yards on the ground than Tannyhill did through the air. There has to be a few long, successful deep shots to A.J. Brown in order for Baltimore to loosen up. I don’t think they’ll play the Belichick game of ‘let Henry get his and we’ll shut down everyone else’. They’ll get after it.

-The Ravens just have too much talent, right? That pass game that has to have an impact for the Titans meets up with two All Pros in Peters and Humphrey.

-Prediction Time. Henry finally succumbs but not before going out with a fight. Ravens 33 Tits 17.

Go Ahead. Make my night.

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Horatio Cornblower

Well, that’s not optimal Lamar.

litre_cola

Baltimore Sports Radio tonight will be a good fucking time.

King Hippo

You think they called timeout to set up that defensive read??

hippofant

That was just an awful throw. Waaay inside on a short out.

Spur

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Unsurprised

This is the absolute best rendition of The Raven ever made

Redshirt

THIS! My high school teacher showed us this when we were reading The Raven.

Doktor Zymm

We’ve replaced the Baltimore O-line with Folger’s Crystals, let’s see what happens!

Unsurprised

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King Hippo

I could still see this tight at the end

hippofant

That’s what she said.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, they can do wonder with episiotomies these days.

Horatio Cornblower

How does Dan Fouts get this game?

LemonJello

I’m not sure he “gets” this game anymore.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

LAMAR! still sucks in the playoffs.

I’m going to assume Peyton teabagged him to transfer the curse.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly, I can’t blame Lamar. He’s gotten no help tonight, and Tennessee has decisively won the battle on both sides of the line. Gotta give credit where it’s due. They came in and imposed their will.

Congrats Tits. You definitely earned it.

Mr. Ayo

I can’t accept a world where Tanny Fanny is successful.

Stupid Dolphins.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

Horatio Cornblower

Hold my coat while I go to hell.
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herodotus450

My stock in “pats fans smugging themselves over Belichick’s coaching tree winning” is soaring!!

King Hippo

I mean, they have to feel better about last Sabado’s performance now

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s nice to know that you got slammed to the floor by a team that’s looking to take out the number 1 seed.

litre_cola

It has already been mentioned in a group text I am in. Uggh.

Spur

Lamar after the gamecomment image

herodotus450

/Checks notes
Tennessee winning in the playoffs?
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Horatio Cornblower

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s absolutely not how maple syrup works.

King Hippo

And this run is only possible because of THE NOO YAWK FOOTBAW JEST

Dick E. Phuck

Tanny gonna make Kirk Cousins money this offseason

Redshirt

The Pylon Cams out?! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Senor Weaselo

There’s the rushing TD we all expected by…Ryan Tannehill?

LemonJello

WE’RE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS HERE, PEOPLE! RBS THROWING FOR TDS AND QBS RUNNING FOR SAME? MASS HYSTERIA!

Viva La Tabula Raza

CAT LIE DOWN WITH DOGS!!!

Doktor Zymm

Tanny’s turn

Spur

Fanny is laying it on. FUCK ME!

King Hippo

El Tractorcito throws for 7, Tanny Fanny runs for 7. MAKES CENTS

litre_cola

I am now hoping for the 500’s tomorrow. An imaginary team hosting the former Houston team will be great.

Doktor Zymm

This needs to happen

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fucking Ay. As a 25-year Oilers fan and an almost 20-year Texans fan, this would be an optimal AFC championship game in my book.

King Hippo

How many awkward honky TN youth are trying to grow out opposum-tail hairdos?

litre_cola

Ratbirds look real defeated.

theeWeeBabySeamus

See, now if they’d kept Flacco, he could lead the comeback.

Unsurprised

This is going to need a Kim Kardashian-level comeback

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, I was laughing as I typed that.

Redshirt

Live shot of the 2019-20 Baltimore Ravens

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Horatio Cornblower

Is that bad? It looks bad.

Mistborn Impossible

Nah this is normal. It’ll just inflate again when they fill it back up with sweet, sweet crude oil

Gratliff

I am not prepared for the taeks that will emerge from this game

Spur

the best will be the ones about the Dolphins and Fanny

Senor Weaselo

SUDDEN not that much of a change.

Horatio Cornblower

/Horatio writes “offensive line help” for Baltimore’s 2020 mock draft selection.

hippofant

They let Osemele walk, right?

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t have any idea who that is.

BC Dick

They must have at least two pro bowlers if not all pros in Stanley and Yanda, no?

Spur

Ravens imploding

Petronel

….and that 21-6 hole may be about to get worse

theeWeeBabySeamus

May be?

Mr. Ayo

Not so fast!

— Houston

Mr. Ayo

Fire both Harbaughs now.

King Hippo

WOW

Unsurprised

Derrick Henry looks like me when we played tackle football at recess.

Damn it. I should never have stopped playing. I would’ve rather had CTE

Unsurprised

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Even if they win, Titans ain’t getting out of this town without some fucking harassment.comment image

herodotus450

Fucking cocksucker McNulty!
/looks at picture closer
Oh, wait

Unsurprised

This must’ve been after they fired Melissa Leo. Excuse me, Oscar winner Melissa Leo.

Unsurprised

She really was the only actor and character in Olympus Has Fallen that was worth a shit.

Fun fact: Clark Johnson (Det. Lewis) directed it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I loved that show so much, but it really went downhill the last couple of seasons.

Dick E. Phuck

That was honestly frickin awesome

Redshirt

Well, Baltimore. Time to move on to the Orioles.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup. I’m not spending roughly $1500 to go to Florida for spring training for nothing.
Wait, that now seems kinda stupid. ARE MY RESERVATIONS REFUNDABLE??????

Spur

Derrick Henry now has prima nocta rights over the Ravens

Fronkenshteen

With his hair horn

Doktor Zymm

Lamar is not the only guy in this game who can play multiple positions rolled into one dude!

King Hippo

methinks it is the second, upside-downsie exclamation point that does it

Mistborn Impossible

WTF is a “yoolie bulldozer”? Is this some east coast bullshit I wouldn’t know about?

Mistborn Impossible

Oh he went to Yoolie High School in Florida. So yes, I was right.

Gumbygirl

Yulee Florida us a tiny little town that’s only claim to fame, and I swear I’m not making this up, is a sasquatch kind of creature who lives in the woods who has exceptionally large testicles. They call him Big Nuts

theeWeeBabySeamus

Whew. For a minute I thought it was a sex thing.

King Hippo

Andy Reid has to be shitting his pants right now.

/but yes, he still would like another rack of ribs

Horatio Cornblower

Who among us?

Gratliff

Derrick Henry is now the Ravens coach. Those are the rules.

Spur

I love these Tits

Viva La Tabula Raza

I love all tits, but I especially give these ones my support.
—Playtex Living Bra

King Hippo

Well, like a Tebow who doesn’t suck

Horatio Cornblower

“Oh trust me, the original version doesn’t either”
Mrs. Tebow, sadly.

Spur

HAHAHAHAHAH

Petronel

Oh that was hilarious.

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least you AFC West fans can be happy that KC gets a home game next week.
Oh wait…
(LOL)

litre_cola

That. Was. Awesome.