Your NFC Divisional Round Playoff Game Part 2 Open Thread

Let’s keep ‘er rolling along like a certain running back, shall we?

TO THE GAME!

Seahawks/Packers:

-Are the Packers the most underwhelming 13-3 team in ever? I went down their sked and I can see all of 2(!) quality wins. One is versus the Chiefs early in the season and the other is against the Vikes much later on. There was much dreg to play against and they won most of them. When they did play a half decent squad they got their balls blown off by the Niners, 37-8.

-Rodgers 7.5 yards per pass attempt is his lowest since 2011 and speaks to the receiving corps not having a game-breaker anywhere on the roster. Yet Davante should do okay-the last time he played against cb’s Griffin and Flowers in a game he had 65+ yards against each one of them.

-Seattle has acquitted itself well in the run game despite leaning on a 3rd stringer, a practice squad-er and a guy that was living in a cardboard box under a bridge just three weeks ago. And the passing game is coming along as well with D.K. Metcalf catching 3 balls 20+ yards down the field just last week.

-Maybe keep an eye out for Wilson turnovers, particularly intercepts. In seven games against the Packers he has 10 picked passes. Green Bay is +12 in turnovers this year so this might be a thing.

-Prediction Time! I’m not sure about this one but I do know it’ll be close because Seattle loves themselves the one score final whether it’s a W or an L. Let’s say Seahawks 27-24?

Let me see those those brain farts of yours.

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King Hippo

LENGTHY SPOT CHALLENGE

Mr. Ayo

Terrible spot! He was short!

King Hippo

yep, about 6 inches. Or Favre + 2.5

Spur

Tits journey ends next week. I like the Chiefs in a close on.
49ers are going to push in Green Bay’s shit.

KC vs SF – not a bad match up.

Doktor Zymm

Do NFL QBs ever actually know where they’re throwing? I can’t see shit in those POV cams, but pretty sure those aren’t actually accurate

Old School Zero

fun fact, the “forward pass” in football is created using the same tech Kubrick used to fake the moon landing

/tips tinfoil fedora

Doktor Zymm

Pfft, Kubrik didn’t film the moon landing because none of the craters had eyelashes, duh

Gratliff

Brett Favre was never as good as Aaron Rodgers

Gatoraids

Aaron Rodgers didk pick is still pending

King Hippo

But it’s a pretty low bar to clear.

Gatoraids

Low grey bar

Doktor Zymm

He’s smart enough to consider lighting and perspective when doing his dick pic. Seriously, dude’s gotta take more care with that. As much as you like it, IT DOES NOT LOOK GOOD IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES

Viva La Tabula Raza

He understands all that lighting and perspective stuff due to his involvement in those insurance ads.

Horatio Cornblower

But he was far more childlike out there.

King Hippo

Well, at least they got him out of bounds. Is still over, they’ll run up the middle for 15 now

Gratliff

Rodgers with that cheat code dart

Spur

What is Green Bay up to? that was DERP.

Old School Zero

Aaron Rodgers looking like he’s ready to burn all of the Jedi teachings

Gatoraids

Younglings on watch

Horatio Cornblower

Tonight, on Fox, 911 Storrs CT.

Oh no! Ol’ Man Hall’s cows are loose again! Better get someone down there and round ’em up!

Doktor Zymm

Cite that bastard for shitty fence management! Before his neighbors sue for the damage his livestock has done to their roses!

Horatio Cornblower

That’s actually torn from the pages of real life. My neighbors cattle have been in my yard on several occasions. Often enough that they now know that when I come out of the back door holding a Wiffle bat it’s time to to get the fuck out of Dodge.

Doktor Zymm

By ancient Celtic law, you may have rights to some of their land, or at least a hefty cash settlement

Horatio Cornblower

“Your honor, I would draw your attention to my Celtic cross tattoo and therefore claim that my rights to prima nocte on my neighbors cattles are established res ipsa loquiter.”

Judge: “Sit down Cornblower you goddamn idiot”

Doktor Zymm

How often are your neighbor’s cattle getting married? Because you can probably have your way with them without prima nocte. Just saying.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Apparently, you have read Larry McMurtry’s The Last Picture Show, in which cow-fucking featured (did not make it into the movie).

Viva La Tabula Raza

We had that problem back in the day, but our primary concern was that one of our neighbor’s cattle would drown in our swimming pool.

clint greasewood

Special Guest appearances by Geno Auriemma and Diana Turasi.

Horatio Cornblower

Geno has got a pretty good restaurant uptown. Taurasi, eh, not so much of an attachment.

clint greasewood

Swinn Cash, Maya Moore, Sue Bird, Rebecca Lobo? pick one.

Horatio Cornblower

Man, Jesus is absolutely fucking with Wilson right now.

Not cool Jesus, not cool.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Jesus had his money on AAron.

King Hippo

Ball. Game.

Gatoraids

Wilson hasn’t felt this much pressure to score since his wedding night

Horatio Cornblower

Which one?

King Hippo

The white one got her sexy time from Golden Tate, took most of the pressure off.

SonOfSpam

+3599 psi

King Hippo

Loose Change blitz package does it again! TEH TROOTH SHALL SET U FREE

Spur

Rodgers always wanted a brother combo

SonOfSpam

Hell, Griffin coulda sacked Rodgers with one ha-

/pummeled by DFO censors

Spur

YELLOW WEASEL – Rodgers pet name

Horatio Cornblower

“I’ll bet ‘yellow weasel’ is a slant play!”
-Bill Parcells, speaking into a microphone hooked up to nothing

Gratliff

YELLOW WEASEL is how Jerrahl orders a night of water sports

SonOfSpam

Bob Kraft, at a massage parlor

Brocky

BOOOOOO….

Reluctant upvote

Petronel

YELLOW WEASEL

Old School Zero

YELLOW WEASEL

King Hippo

Danica must have given it a nickname? But Y IS IT YELLOW??

Dunstan

Huh. And I had always heard Rodgers preferred a gerbil.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s mah boy!
—Richard Gere

Horatio Cornblower

“That’s all you are there, a runner…”
Runners everywhere: Awwwww

Doktor Zymm

YOU ARE NOTHING, JUST A RUNNER IN THE WIND

Old School Zero

“Now I gotta ice my ego AND my knees…”

SonOfSpam

skinny jerkass, forlornly looking at has 13.1 sticker

Doktor Zymm

There’s a rule against cleats-first, yes?

Brocky

replay shows Pete signaling for 2

Dad: shut up Carroll you look like an idiot

King Hippo

wow, what a catch

Old School Zero

good cgi on all the misty breath here, production values going up in the NFL

Spur

I wanna see Rodgers get sacked hard

SonOfSpam

So does Rodgers.

Old School Zero

okay, but you’re gonna have to download a couple of specific apps…

Old School Zero

Your wish… has been granted.

King Hippo

This would seem a worse collapse than the 500s, being favoured and at home

SonOfSpam

“Speaking of Lynch, wonder how Spooky Obama is Doing.”

DJT’s twitter, probably, not gonna check

Gratliff

This 630 start time was kind of slick. is this what it’s like watching football on the left coast? THey should give us that time slot and make Californians wake up at 7 am for Sunday afternoon foosball

Doktor Zymm

I have experienced FOOTBALL in many time zones, and despite the many, many other drawbacks, the best is Central, NAWT more western. ALSO, take pity on Hawaii, they do watch

clint greasewood

Use to live in Hawaii. Once you get use to waking up at 8am and make a 2 gallon batch of Bloody Mary mix ,drink and be done with watching football by 2pm ,its not that bad.

Brick Meathook

In Hawaii they show the MNF game live and then again in the evening. You can really clean up gambling on the evening game.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I was in Kabul during the Randy Moss 18-1 Pats season back in ’07, Armed Forces Network broadcast live NFL games. They started around midnight, you could catch the SNF game live at the chow hall Monday morning while you had breakfast, same on Tuesday morning for the MNF game. Same deal when I was in Iraq and Kuwait the following Matt Cassel season. It was kind of disorienting.

SonOfSpam

Watching football on the West Coast is great because we’re on the West Coast.

Dunstan

Shh.. . our freeways are crowded enough. We try to keep the joys of Sunday football scheduling secret, and let the east coasters brag about their bagels and pizza and “change of seasons.”

King Hippo

My GAMBLOR account could use this comeback. But I noe better.

Doktor Zymm

Hindsight in the year 2020, giving it to Lynch is a GOOD FUCKING IDEA

Gatoraids

And thought watchmen had the biggest lynch pilot in the 2000s

Dunstan

He gave it to Lynch?

HE GAVE IT TO LYNCH!

Horatio Cornblower

Look at that, a 1 yard TD lunge from Lynch 4 years too late.

Gratliff

Packers gonna fuck this whole thing up

Spur

one can hope

Brocky

They deserve it

Mr. Ayo

BEEF MOE!!!

Doktor Zymm

There have been many injuries on GB? They aight? I guess if ya gonna be delicate, do it when you’re at home?

Brocky

Packers defender is faking his injury

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well at least we know what Petey likes to do in this situation

Horatio Cornblower

Does that sign say “Chew Your Cum”!? What the fuck is going on in Green Bay?

Petronel

Severe dehydration?

Gratliff

Misspelled cud. A local delicacy.

Old School Zero

it’s cold, if ya wanna make babbies, ya gotta loosen it back up

SonOfSpam

Most of it comes (heh) out kinda curdy

King Hippo

If This Charming Maaaaaaannnnn keeps it up, I’mma have to go back and re-write the end of tomorrow morning’s shitty column.

Old School Zero

2 columns 1 cup

SonOfSpam

russell and morrisseey each have two s’s just saying

Dolph Ucker

I seee what you did there

Gatoraids

2pt conversion strikes again

Brocky

At the risk of sounding salty, I get a twisted sense of satisfaction when a defender initiates helmet to helmet and comes out the worse for it.

I’m still watching on a bit of a delay

King Hippo

why have penalties when you can has Karma?

Doktor Zymm

Player from Northwestern has bad tattoo…not surprising

King Hippo

TAKE THAT AS A DFO CHALLENGE, make it snow!

Gatoraids

Hope fox does a Latin piano injury mix in the style of the Chappelle show skit for the super bowl

King Hippo

Insane flip #3 of the playoffs

Doktor Zymm

I enjoy this trend

King Hippo

it’s not quite “the ball explodes at random intervals” but BABY STEPS

Viva La Tabula Raza

Jesus, the visualization of that. Thanks.

clint greasewood

Charmflipper

Brocky

Hey god. You know how you like to give unfortunately timed injuries to the teams I like?

Wanna try that for green bay? You fucking owe me

Gratliff

/Entire Eagles roster shows up as Force ghosts

clint greasewood

Granted

Mr. Ayo

I love DK so much.

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza
Mr. Ayo

HELMET TO HELMET! DAMMIT!

SonOfSpam

The first draft of Requiem for a Dream was missing…something.

King Hippo

surely we already made Balls search that??

Gatoraids

Docking isn’t a penality

Old School Zero

This game is about as inspiring as an HR powerpoint presentation about changes to the health plan

Gratliff

It inspires you to torch the nearest BCBS office?

Old School Zero

YOU CAN’T PROVE SHIT

King Hippo

you were SURE not to leave a trail of ass blood?

King Hippo

it will suck 10% more, costs up 20%

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Throwing into triple coverage? Maybe that’s why your parents don’t love you.

Doktor Zymm

They do a good job making that incredibly dead grass look sorta like viable turf

King Hippo

maybe Riverboat will get Li’l Danny to paint their asphalt more carefully?

Doktor Zymm

Everyone gets 1-2 things before their spirit/body is broken! That’s the Snyder Code!