Your “Batalla de los Tigres” Monday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

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I promise you that the Tigers will win tonight’s NCAA Football National Champs game.

You can take that one to the bank.

(Hippo probably will, actually)

NCAA Football Championship – Clemson Tigers vs LSU Tigers – 8:00pmEST – TV: ESPN (LSU -5/ML -220, o/u 67.5)

The #1 ranked LSU Tigers, sporting the current Heisman Trophy winner, face off tonight against the defending national champion Clemson Tigers.  It’s Heisman vs Hair.

Seriously, even if he does look as if he’s a couple chromosomes short of 23 pairs, Trevor Lawrence has the best hair in the game.  Just look…

But have to give the dude credit.  Since he took over as the starter under center at Clemson, he has yet to lose a game.  Which is somewhat annoying to a fan of a team in the same conference division, right Hippo?  Yeah, me too.

LSU’s  QB Joe Burrow?  Well he’s just won the Heisman and is poised to try to become only one of a handful of winners to also win a National Championship in the same season.  That dude is good.

But let me tell you something if I may.

In spite of two very capable and future NFL QBs, this game is going to be decided elsewhere probably.

Both teams bring it on defense.

LSU will do everything they can to shut down Lawrence’s passing game.  And possibly aside from size and speed (their DBs are smaller than Clemson’s receivers) they have the personnel to do it effectively.  Maybe.  Which might open it up for Travis Etienne.  One of the best runners in the country you’ve probably never heard of.  If that happens, and Clemson can get an early lead, they could very easily control time of possession and ride this one into the barn.

And same thing going the other way.  Clemson is going to try to hold Joe Burrow under control.  And they probably can.  Maybe.

That could very well open it up for LSU’s rushing game in a big way out of Clyde Edwards-Helaire and Tyrion Davis-Price.  They’re no slouches, trust me.

Bottom line, I expect this to become a ball control/time of possession game.  Whichever team makes the fewest mistakes will take it.  It could even be decided on some freak special teams play.

LSU has survived a much tougher schedule this season.  Clemson has more experience surviving in the playoff.

I wouldn’t bet this game.  But if I had to, I’d bet the under, which has been dropping all day (all week actually) which means others agree.  And the Clemson ML +180 (if only for the jinx factor).

And don’t forget, Dabo Swinney has Jeebus on his side.

Frankly, I just want to hear Ed Orgeron talk some more.  He has the most soothing voice evar!!!!

Either way, it should be a good game.

So talk about it here.

Hey, at least Satan is home in Tuscaloosa.  AMIRITE????

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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WCS

That’s an owie.

scotchnaut

Dabo can’t be happy with all of the scoring going on right now.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Jeebus loves him some Dabo, it seems.

SonOfSpam

My understanding is that Jeebus loves anyone who talks about Jeebus.

Kind of a narcissist, that one.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

You know another narcissist that likes hearing people talk about him?
Fuck it, I’m not even gonna bother leaving a hint.

LemonJello
LemonJello

That frat-boy prick the Dalai Lama?

scotchnaut

A large percentage of these cheerleaders are going to get laid tonight-in my dreams.

/jk, I’ll be tuckered out after foreplay with the 1st one

SonOfSpam

Yeah, some of those dudes are handsome.

scotchnaut

And, if I’m being honest, I can’t lick balls all night like I used to.

litre_cola

The key is cocaine and changing positions.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Stretching and hydration are also important.

Redshirt

Then you can watch. Do I have to think of everything?!

scotchnaut

9 out of 10 pretend autistic doctors recommend watching 911-Lone Star.

SonOfSpam

Autistic Doogie is still a fucking ridiculous show.

WCS

My parents love it, because old.

SonOfSpam

“I…can’t…talk…right…but…you…have….AIDS”

TheRevanchist

But what if I don’t watch regular 911? Can I still get that recommendation? What side effects are there? Can it be used in conjunction with NSAIDS and Gas-X?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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WCS

Channeling my inner Bob Belcher tonight, and these burgers are excellent.

SonOfSpam

Damn, she fucked up that handoff.

Spur
Spur

This Burrow guy might be good enough to survive in Cincy with no help for at least 1 year.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

From jambalaya to Skyline Chili bah gawd

scotchnaut

Well, there ya go!

LemonJello
LemonJello

We can haz game now?

litre_cola

Just thought the same thing.

Redshirt

Dad: “No line support. No running game. Receivers not getting open. The way I see it, this is getting Joe ready for the Bengals.”

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Freddie Kitchens just appeared on the coaches corner to deliver Papa Johns

King Hippo

g’night, y’all

King Hippo

We liked the alligator-armed Ratbird WRs so much, we brung ’em back for tonite!

LemonJello
LemonJello

Burrows playing like this in hopes of not getting drafted by Cincinnati?

King Hippo

Old man with a “dip cup” – that takes me back to petrified drives with Racist Grandpa.

King Hippo

NEVAR forgiving y’all for this puppy abortion, tOSU

WCS

This slowfie commercial makes me want to punch a puppy.

King Hippo

things like this are microcosms of why I recluse

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Mike gundys hair really killing it on the coaches corner channel on ESPNU

King Hippo

Seems like an early bedtime for Hippo is in the cards.

scotchnaut

Kendall Jenner and her pores are opening up about her acne.

Mother Puncher
Mother Puncher

I’m glad Joe is getting some reps playing with no O line

WCS

Good practice for playing on the Bungles.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I hate the fucking Tigers. That’s why I’m rooting for the Tigers tonight.

King Hippo

I’m impressed at the number of different ways Taco Bell can present “diarrhea in a box”

Spur
Spur

the secret is when they add the chives in

King Hippo

much like how The Chive was “diarrhea in a weblog”

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

And just to be sure you shit for days, apparently you have to wash down their “food” with anti freeze.

litre_cola

Antifreeze and Mountain Dew both function as the same thing do they not?

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

Mountain Dew is embalming fluid

rockingdog
rockingdog

Found a funny:
A lot of people claim dogs are “good” but I’ve never met a single one that cares about climate change

scotchnaut

I know-I’ve told my dog so many times that if he could just stop wagging his tail he’d reduce his carbon footprint 75%.

Brocky

carbon footprint

Carbon pawprint

FTFY

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s why I only have dogs with docked tails. While cruel, it IS ecologically sound.

Brocky

I once adopted a rottie mix with an undocked tail.

Took me all of two hours to change my opinion on tail docking.

Puppy used tail whip!
IT HURTS LIKE SHIT!!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Also good at clearing drinks and food off the coffee table.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, it does no damage and only lowers your defense! I say bullshit!

Mother Puncher
Mother Puncher

Also surprisingly neutral on recognizing the Armenian genocide

LemonJello
LemonJello

You’re sure these are the two best teams in college fitbaw?

Spur
Spur

Best teams money can buy

Spur
Spur

“Not recruited by his dream school Nebraska” – that’s funny

King Hippo

Don’t they still be all like “forward passes make u gay?”

scotchnaut

That and reading The New York Times.

SonOfSpam

Just completed ones.

Spur
Spur

More like ““forward passes make u gay and where’s my corn welfare?”

Spur
Spur

Delpit must be a Cowboy next year. Make it happen Stephen Jones.

King Hippo

More Son de Clem dance team PLEASE

LemonJello
LemonJello

Herbstreit is gonna jizz in his pants before the first series is over.

King Hippo

absolutely Dabo! fart sniffers, these two

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Better than him jizzing my pants

LemonJello
LemonJello

Well, don’t stand too close to him and you should be okay.

Spur
Spur

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Spur
Spur

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SonOfSpam

“GENIUS!!!”

– Bill O’Brien, watching the first play

Spur
Spur

you think Satan would have be able to nix a Trump visit?

It’s my team or Trump!

SonOfSpam

Rooting for LSU because of Coach O. Obviously he’s awesome, but the fact that USC took Sark over him is just icing on the gumbo cake.

GEAUX TIGERS.

Spur
Spur

Pac-12 crew? Get ready for the DERP

WCS

Pac-12 refs? BLEERGH WILL FEAST

SonOfSpam

LOL Pac12 refs.

TAKE THE OVER.

Brocky

I was looking for college cheerleaders and I found this:

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Who’s dick did Booger suck to get to walk out for the coin flip?

Brocky

Being an alum gives you a lot more prestige than it should. He’s royalty down there

SonOfSpam

That’s right. He was a really good player before becoming an awful awful announcer.

Spur
Spur

He gave some Booster’s wife the fucking she been wanting.

Brocky

Was he giving commentary during that as well?

Spur
Spur

An Empire in decline.

Brocky

Stupid question for you chefs on here:

Using a new crockpot from christmas, making a basic chicken breast recipe.

Used half a carton of the chicken broth left in the fridge, and only just now noticed it says to thrown it away after 2 weeks after being opened.

I think we used it the week before Christmas, broth was already in there, so I just added the usual fixings.

I know to never take a chance with expired meat, but just wondering if I’ve made a colossal mistake

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

If they say it’s safe for 2 weeks, I am willing to bet 3 weeks is fine. Don’t worry, enjoy your chicken!

Spur
Spur

Send that Tiger out to eat fuck face trump

LemonJello
LemonJello

No tiger deserves that kind of abuse.

Col. Duke LaCross

They look so lifelike, don’t they folks?

SonOfSpam

They don’t seem attention-whorey at all.

Spur
Spur

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Brocky

I really hope there’s a dramatic dip in ratings for that exact moment in the national championship

King Hippo

I changed the channel. Mute button suffices for Dabo’s fucking weinerface

Col. Duke LaCross

Dress by Glad.

SonOfSpam

Policies by Vlad.

Brocky

Can we get a two part banner comment out of this?

SonOfSpam

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(Trump announcement, not Goodell.)

Fronkenshteen

Just a dopey daily fantasy bet foar me, thx. Should be a beaut. Going ubering. Enjoy, fellas.

King Hippo

Bizarrely, I ain’t bet this’un. Could see the argument for each side of it.

litre_cola

I bet son of Clem and took the points

rockingdog
rockingdog

Found a cool:

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The layoff between the last bowl game and this game has been so long that any residual fucks I had to give about college football are long gone

yeah right

Exactly! They couldn’t have played this last week instead of giving us the “Piss Bowl?”

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Piss Bowl, you say? HEY! WHY DIDN’T I KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE? Air Force One could have gotten me there for the kick-off!”
-Anonymous, 1600 Penn Ave

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I thought this was the kickoff for next season

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