The eyes of a nation shift from Kansas City to San Francisco. The tv is changed from CBS to Fox. Mozza stix have been replaced by chicken wings. A glass of scotch that doesn’t need to be topped up is topped up. Balls are scratched. Someone finally notices the huge mustard stain on his t-shirt. A thought is given to exercising and is quickly dismissed. “Japanese threesome” shows up on a search history. All this and more is going on right now!
TO THE GAME!
Packers/Niners:
-I still maintain that Green Bay is the most nondescript three loss team in ever. How do they win? It seems as though Matt The Flower tossed the keys to the other Aaron (Jones) and he’s the fella that makes the team go. Given that they’re in the champeenship game they must be doing something right. I just don’t know what it is.
-The Green Bay Smith Boys (Za’Darius and Preston) are the only teammates to have 12 or more sacks this year. I guess that’s something.
-On San Fran’s side the combo of Bosa and Ford are legit game-wreckers. The NFL’s average sack rate is 6.5%. When those two are on the field together their sack rate is an incredible 17.3%.
-Funny how Shanahan The Younger is just like the old man in that you couldn’t trust which running back he would go with. By all accounts Mostert had wrestled control of the #1 spot as the season came to a close but then Coleman went off last week. I think this speaks well of coach not embracing a specific strategy going into a game and just going with what works. “MID-GAME ADJUSTMENTS!” Are you listening, Pat Shurmur?
-Prediction Time! Let’s do 28-23, Niners.
That’s YUUUUUUGE, now they can’t send it to OT with two TDs, two 2-pointers, and a FG.
I still don’t understand why they went for two after the last TD. If they’d kicked it, two more TDs with extra points would win it.
Assuming SF scores no more. Yeah, sure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lWjhgJ-aVI
Ewan McGregor use up all that Star Wars money on hookers and blow that he needs to work in this Harley Quinn big screen abortion?
I don’t think he lives all that extravagantly. I think he spent the better part of a year motorcycling around the world; that can’t cost much.
This birds of prey movie looks like what I expected suicide squad to be:
Just a “harley quinn and friends” movie
Really, though, there are worse movie concepts than “Margot Robbie in sexy outfits”
True, but that’s kinda my issue with the “new” harley Quinn media:
It’s like she went from the sorta interesting side character that gave us an insight into the joke’s madness and gave the animated series it’s own creation:
But lately it seems every subsequent version of her is just sluttier and sluttier to the point where she’s just DC’S version of Deadpool
Is she really that slutty, though? Who does she sex up other than the Joker?
Like, every animated version i see her in has less clothes.
I’m sorry if it sounds “white knighty” but it just bugs me.
The Harley Quinn movie .. Starring Ewan McGregor, as “Phallocracy McPatriarchy”
Mad streak of leaving the toilet seats up
Go away Rodgers
Ewan McGregor seems like an odd choice for Black Mask
Under fucking review!
This deficit is larger than the deficit the Patriots over came in superbowl 51
Shanny loves a challenge. And a blumpkin.
TOO. SOON.
This Graham kid seems athletic. Anyone know if he plays/played any other sports?
Surely we would have heard such a thing at some point in his career.
Squash
He flies a floatplane. That’s why he can only play for teams that are located on the water.
I gets a Cal Cunningham FOAR Senate ad. I hope he got a discount for the late time slot.
I don’t like the way he just disappeared on Richie, Joanie, and Howard and Marion.
Oh, you said “Cal,” not “Chuck.” Never mind.
Chuck became a beatnik, moved out to Frisco, and came out of the closet. The Cunningham family never mentioned his name again.
(This actually happened with my grandfather’s older brother [my great uncle, I guess] back in the 1940’s. My granddad was living with me at age 80, back when I first got internet in the late 1990’s. I located Uncle Ernie and asked my grandpa if he wanted to get hold of him, he said “no fucking way.”)
This… actually makes a lot of sense.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbV-Q6tz4B8
lol ded
“Can I get in your belly?”
– Mind Haze IPA from Firestone Walker, to me, right now
I’ll allow it.
Trying this again: anyone got a streaming link for this game?
New app called Just Fucking Watch It On TV.
u r obvs NAWT a Millenial, good sir!
I can’t I’m pretending that I’m working.
It’s MLKEve. You work at the RNC or somethin?
Here ya go:
Pick one….
https://sportsurge.net/#/streamlist/2325
Muchos gracias.
I’m watching on the yahoo sports app.
Joe Buck just claimed that “when you get into your dad’s business, you have to overcome a lot.” Yeah, I’m sure you really had to struggle to get gigs.
He’d be a great national spokesman for White Privilege
Nepotism: not throwing tantrums is harder than you think
Don Jr. nods thoughtfully while fisting a woman older than his stepmom.
Thank you for refueling my hatred of Joe Buck. The tank was running dangerously low.
Hearing him say “Mows-turd” several times in a row did it for me
I saw that Aaron Rodgers belt move, 49ers DB.
As for the call of the wild movie….
How much screen time does Harrison ford have? Because that book is from the dog’s perspective, and no one human is in more than 30% of the story
Look, man. They were barely able to animate the fucking thing, let alone make it the star.
I honestly loved the book, I loved the silent narrator thing.
( I read a simplified “young adult version”), so take from that what you will.)
Hey, you gotta work with whatever you find in the victim’s backpack.
Packers’ ML is up to +305.
Should I bet it?
You should not.
I hope you mean +3050
It’s only a joke, I’m not gonna bet it. Glad I took the ‘Niners ATS though.
Ooooh, there is a prop bet that the next play will be a turnover. +1200
+2000 now.
And yes Hippo, it was +3050, Moved to +4000. Now they shut everything down other than props.
Can still get a +175 for under 57.5 IF THE GODDAMNED NINERS WOULD TAKE THEIR FOOT OFF THE GAS!!!!!!
Timmy Smith Part Deux
TOO SOON, ABED!!!
What do we want? Gays in Scouts!
When do we want it? TIMM-AY!!
LOL
Great minds or what have you.
I think you misspelled “Similarly fucked up minds”.
Here’s a reminder that Matt LaFleur is a rookie head coach.
Holy shit. Jimmy G only has 6 pass attempts
Now for the kill shot on Rodgers or that annoying Aaron Jones
I just creamed for the third time.
Yep, me right now
https://giphy.com/gifs/southparkgifs-l0HlRJDMdblulGwz6
“Taking away the manhood” Jesus Christ, Troy
Followed by, “Niners imposing their will.”
I’ll take “How to say ‘raped’on network TV for 200, Alex”
The implication
Turgid. I am lady turgid.
beware the clitful thinking
Lady Tumescent seeks an audience with a power tool.
So many responses.
But these days I behave myself. Mostly.
Packers gettin Raheemed.
Just get on the bus, idiots
Dog Sled movies are like crack for white people
What’s crack for black people? Crack?
Martin Lawrence?
Tisha Campbell still looks pertty good. Just sayin’.
RockingDog approves of this funny
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYDKK95cpfM
I’m Han Solo…Solo I’ll do a bad CGI doggy movie.
Rodgers is going to punish LaFleur for this. He’s going to choke him, rub coarse sand on his nipples then pull his hair while having to call Rodgers mommie.
Does military grade F-150 mean that I have to pay $58,000 extra for a toilet seat in the pickup bed?
It means when you suck some guy’s dick in the truck you don’t say anything.
Hey man, he was just a guy, and I was just helping him out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVPnX2LdZYQ&t=100s
CHOO CHOO
Better let them score real quick so your team has more time to work on the comeback
that timeout sure helped
Okay, it’s now double Dark & Stormys.
I am knee deep in salty, spicy beer! But more of a victory polish…
Seconded — see below!
Better than an Orange & Stormy.
And to think space nuts was one of my favorite dirty movies….
Here’s what I’m making for dinner- beans and greens with chicken thighs. The dilemma- biscuits, garlic bread, or cornbread?
Cornbread is best, biscuits are easier, NO GARLIC BREAD.
As strange as it is to say, I agree with Seamus.
I agree with his freezer vodka and weed, but disagree with his ex girlfiriend stances. However, I agree with him on this one too.
I feel like I’m being made fun of. We’ll settle out of court.
Gimme one of your dogs.
(Litre can keep the decilitre shit machine)
Yes, but the beans and greens are molto garlicky, so it would floooow. I think cornbread is too sweet in this application. Narrowed it down by one!
Not the deep south cornbread. Not sweet at all. I hate that sweet cornbread.
True, but I am a lazy bitch and all I have is the boxed stuff. I usually add jalapenos just to cut some of the sugar, but they would be weird here. I think I’m going biscuits, it will depend on how motivated I am after the edibles kick in!
quick biscuits–either standard drop or the super quick equal parts self rising flour and cream
Biscuits as a butter and honey vector
As a Packers fan, do I stop drinking or double down?
You know what is the right answer.
Did your mama raise a quitter?
DISCOUNT (booze) DOUBLE DOWN!!!!
It’s as if we don’t even know you anymore.
you know what to do
You indecision is powering this Niners drive.
No, that’s because I’m touching myself.
Your FitBit thinks you ran a marathon?
Then stroke away, my love!
I thought that was what Olivia Munn was laughing about.
You must be sore from the first half
You spelled “January” wrong.
I’ve somehow legit never noticed you were a packers fan, my bad. I will reduce the venomousness of my posts by 10%
Also, you literally have beer in your name and you have to ask?
Troy just said Alex Gibbs started “twinking” the run game.
He’s clearly uncomfortable with the word. I guess he’d be more comfortable calling a Bears game.
The XFL: What are you going to watch? Regular season college basketball?
What the actual fuck, XFL?
Turn the crockpot of beer cheese soup too warm.
More than a little jealous
SUDDEN MINOR CHANGE!!!!!!
Man, remembering that there are targets not named Davante Adams really opens things up for GB
You try to stay in bounds (stoopid) then get hit, then you’re going to bitch about it?
Nothing gets you back in the game during a massive blowout like a plodding, clock killing drive
After Green Bay worked so hard in the first half to establish the turnover
Apple or Cherry?
“WE GOTTA GET FIRED UP! So for the third quarter, we need to split up some kindling, take our time finding the driest logs, make sure everything is set up right, clear the surrounding area of any dangerous debris, check to make sure the fire extinguisher is charged, check the battery in the smoke detector, find the matches, and then maybe by the two minute warning we’ll be ready to light things up.”
What’s the o/u on how many times tonight Olivia Munn has laughed?
Oh no! Poor, Bosa bear!
He’s needed a play or two off to check the immigration status of that family in the second row with the “year round tan.”
I’m ashamed, but yes I laughed.
I see someone’s booted up Tecmo Super Bowl in the booth.
DOUBLE REVERSE FLEA FLICKER… for seven yards