NFL Nuggets:
- The NFL will be experimenting with new rules at the Pro Bowl:
- Kickoffs after field goals or converts.
- A modified CFL rule, whereby the kicking team can then
- Give the opposing team the ball back on that team’s 25-yard line to start their series; or
- An ‘onside kick’ option, whereby the kicking team gets a 4th & 15 at their own 25, and has to convert to keep the ball.
- A modified CFL rule, whereby the kicking team can then
- A change to the illegal shift rule.
- It will not be a false start if a flexed, eligible receiver in a two-point stance who flinches or picks up one foot, as long as his other foot remains partially on the ground and he resets for one second prior to the snap.
- Kickoffs after field goals or converts.
- I guess that means there will be a Pro Bowl Open Thread on Sunday, because there’s nothing more that [DFO] loves than exhibition football injected with new rules!
- Interspersed in a story about how much of the Black Hole will move to Vegas from Oakland comes news that 40% of the PSL’s purchased for the new stadium come from outside Nevada.
- According to the Las Vegas Review Journal, all the PSLs have been sold, raising almost $478 million for the Raiders.
- The Raiders themselves only forecast reaching a total of $250 million.
- Prices for Raiders’ PSLs ranged from $500 to $75,000.
- And that The Black Hole has established a Vegas chapter, led by one Cisco Ortega.
- According to the Las Vegas Review Journal, all the PSLs have been sold, raising almost $478 million for the Raiders.
- I don’t give two shits about these topics:
- One shit: Where will Brady play next year?
- Other shit: Where will Rivers play next year?
- Speaking of shits, it was revealed today that Barstool & Dave Portnoy were found complicit by the NLRB for unfair labor practices when it came to intimidating employees from founding a unionized workplace at Barstool Sports.
- This was uncovered by Bloomberg, whose legal reporter filed a FOI request for the ruling.
- You can read the full NLRB decision here, but here’s some of the juicier bits:
- they have to delete all tweets related to intimidating employees from founding a union
- they admitted to, and have to delete, the “Barstool Sports Union” Twitter account, which was set up to catch employyes trying to unionize
- they have to remove an anti-union video mocking AOC
- There is an agreement that no labor laws were broken, and there was no announcement of any financial penalty.
Still,…
GUESS WHO GOT FUUUUUCKED?! https://t.co/jK8SbBiGhb pic.twitter.com/yfMqUymIK6
— IWW Freelance Journalists Union (@IWWFJU) January 21, 2020
ON THIS DATE:
January 21, 1994 – Robert Kraft buys the New England Patriots.
- He paid $227 million to purchase the team from James Orthwein.
- That’s $391 million in today’s money.
- Today, the team and its assets are valued at $4.0 billion.
- Mostly because of what he turned the surrounding area into.
- After threatening to move the team to Hartford in order to get the zoning he wanted.
- Mostly because of what he turned the surrounding area into.
1994 Masshole: “THAT MUTHAFUCKAH TOOK AHWAY MAH HAHNESS RACIN’, MICKEY! FUCK HIM AND HIS TEAM FAHEVAH!!”
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Vegas at Boston – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Penguins at Philadelphia Flyers – 7:30PM | NBCSN
- NBA:
- Clippers at Mavericks – 8:30PM | TSN4
- NCAA:
- Georgia at Kentucky – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Kansas State at Kansas – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Maryland at Northwestern – 7:00PM | FS1
- Miami at Duke – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- St. John’s at Marquette – 9:00PM | FS1
- Tennis:
- Australian Open: Second Round – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
MLB Nugget:
- Good times in the Home & Native Land tonight as Canadian Larry Walker & some guy named “Jeter” were elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
- He started his career as an Expo, and was part of the famed 1994 team that got screwed out of a playoff run by the strike.
- An event which ultimately resulted in the move of the franchise & the False Expos winning the 2019 World Series.
- He will likely go in wearing the hat of the Colorado Rockies.
- He becomes just the second Canadian-born player inducted into the Hall, joining pitcher Ferguson Jenkins.
- He started his career as an Expo, and was part of the famed 1994 team that got screwed out of a playoff run by the strike.
- Equally satisfying – Curt Schilling did not get elected.
I’m current with The Outsider on HBO and it’s actually quite faithful to the book. Having never seen the streaming version of Mr Mercedes is the Holly Gibney character the same on both shows?
I only ask because the Holly Gibney character is one of my least favorite Stephen King characters ever.
I’ll watch anyway.
I’m just gonna watch Psych and pass the fuck out
Did you hear about Pluto?
How come Goofy wore gloves but not Pluto? Weren’t they both dogs? It’s like MLK never even tread this planet.
That’s messed up
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Q-gnOi0pg7w
I didn’t do a Beat post on Season 2 of Bugglebots, the British 3 lb. (okay, 1.5 kg) competition on YouTube that has the same format (basically) as the rebooted Robot Wars (which got cancelled). If you watch the whole season you’ll see some people from BattleBots, like Sarah Malyan (Nelly the Ellybot), Tim “Rackers” Rackley (Monsoon/Ragnarok), Tom Brewster (Monsoon) competes with his beetleweight Drizzle, and some others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKFeoIPdzo4
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O-kHB2fWUS8
Important announcement: I have switched to beer
Good idea when you get too hopped up on whisky. Gotta balance the uppers and downers. Wait. They’re both downers. Never mimd.
Larry Walker should have been a no brainer.
And fuck Curt Schilling.
In fairness, I would very much rather not fuck Curt Schilling.
WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA
I’d fuck him. With the standard rusty chainsaw, sideways. What an asshole.
Before or after the chainsawing?
It wouldn’t matter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB73Ko12yiQ
Cut him in half, fuck the bottom part, mail the top to the Rhode Island legislature as his debt repayment.
Yeah, what do I look like, the state of Rhode Island?
Oh does that fucking have to work in both directions?
The funny thing about that is they actually created a compelling game with a rich world despite having no idea what the fuck they were doing
Better to be the State of Rhode Island than the State of Massachusetts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVvcslW21lQ
Fuck it.
I WILL DUEL YOU WITH THEIR PISTOLS AT DAWN OVER MY SUBSTITUTE MATH/GLOBAL STUDIES/OTHER SUBjECTS TEACHER!
/I wasn’t in his 7th grade English class when he was full time
//I would like to apologize to Dr. Herbert for being a lazy little shit in 8th grade
Andrew Yang is such a genuine dork. I’d be sadder that he’s gotten fucked over throughout the campaign if I didn’t already have a favorite in mind.
https://twitter.com/CoachSiteman/status/1219690875325952001?s=20
Preeeeety Smrt by ol’ penis-head McConnel to drag the trial on this late at night; most of his constituents have put their diapers on and gone to bed and will only watch the fox news recap tomorrow.
He’s not dumb, just a major prick.
Yeah. Trump is evil and a dumbfuck. McConnell is evil and smart. That’s worrisome.
WELL ACTUALLY
He is annoyed that the Dems continue to bring up these amendments, and even asked if they could “stack” the vote (i.e., deal with them all at once). Schumer told him to get bent. The GOP had no idea the Dems were gonna drop hours and hours of testimony-disguised-as-amendments from the Managers. They are forcing up/down votes on each amendment, to be used in various commercials by GOP Senate opponents later this year. McConnell wanted today to be over long ago.
There’s no way he gets convicted, so it seems like the only question left is, does this trial change any potential voters’ minds? If listening to trump for 5 seconds doesn’t get people to turn on him, I have a hard time believing this will.
Repetition is a thing in politics. And this is causing damage.
Yes. Isn’t this all a huge waste of time and money? The Russia thing didn’t work so let’s try Ukraine. The election is this fall, no? Or next? Let the voters decide. That is the whole idea, I thought.
Except for the part where the idiot-in-chief is literally trying to fuck with said election.
They are doing their duty. And the Russia thing was very damning to anyone paying attention; unfortunately, too many are not.
If so damning why is this about something else? Seems like sore losers who think they know better than the electorate and are trying to correct what they think was an error by the people.
lol not at all. Russia was very damning; the Ukraine thing was brand new and thankfully for short-attention-span voters, much easier to understand.
Well if they had the evidence you’d think it would be used. The voter doesn’t take part in this impeachment kind of thing. That’s my issue with it. If Russia had legs they’d use it. It doesn’t so they’re trying Ukraine. They think voters are stupid so they go with this route rather than the election. That condescending attitude is what lost them the last election, why think it’ll win them the next.
I don’t think the intent is to change any of the faithful on either side’s minds, it’s to get the attention of the majority of voters who don’t usually pay close attention, like all the Obama voters from 08 and 12 who swung to Trump in 16 becuz her emailz or whatever.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Fuck Portnoy ’til he dies.
I’m astonished that I didn’t see this on Drew’s timeline coming home from work.
Sometimes [DFO] breaks the news.
I would love to see the tantrum that came after deleting those tweets. He’s gonna fire bomb a soul cycle
I like how AOC owned his ass.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/01/businessman-who-challenged-aoc-to-debate-him-on-union-law-agrees-to-settle-with-labor-board-for-violations/
She’s trying my patience with this primarying-Jeffries shit. Wonder what side she’s on sometimes.
In my experience, there’s no such thing as a perfect pol. Hell, as happy as I was to have him, I still got pissed at Obama a lot.
Oh, totally agree. That’s why I get annoyed at the Bernie-or-nothing types who demand purity. Hakeem is too centrist? Fuck off.
Dr. Reuben Portnoy is my fake mailing name. Now it’s ruined. Just like my last one, Wendell Smallwood. And the one before that, Vernon Showalter. I need another dead kid.
Paging Scotchy…
Apparently there’s a thing called “BTS” (Boy Twinks: Seoul) that’s gonna sell out the Rose Bowl.
Meanwhile, Georgia Satellites are gonna play my kitchen next week. Tickets are one six-pack of beer.
Just don’t get all hands-y with Dan Baird.
My kitchen, my rules.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUbn5ss8j9c
Did not have Rep. Jeffries spitting Biggie lyrics at Jay Sekoluw on my Impeachment Bingo Card.
Fuck Mitch McConnell with a polio leg brace.
With about a 3 minutes to go I told Mom, who doesn’t know shit about hockey btw….watch, in about a minute, Yinzers gon’ pull their goalie and then Philly gets an empty netter. When it happened she asks “How did you know that?”
It’s fucking hockey, Mom.
They should take away the Atlantic’s third spot and give it to the metro division and then relegate the entire Pacific division
Fuck Pittsburgh imo
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PB751NOeWQ
Not sure if anyone got cut from that to cause a “Bleeding Kansas” situation.
Dang, they’re still at it in the Senate. Wonder if they’re getting overtime.
My work challenge tomorrow?
Find a home for 60+ pounds of washed and cut broccoli that was sent to us in error.
LOL thats soooo much broccoli.
I called a few soup kitchens today and the general response was, “Uh, I could take maybe 5 pounds”.
As good a cover story as any for a little “hunter’s recon”
I have questions.
You got bukkaked by the jolly green giant
None for me, thanks.
—George H.W. Bush
Simpsons called it!
49ers gonna win da superbowl
90% of that 40% is from Southern California.
Gua-ran-teed
That’s what they assume.
I’m predicting a serious drop off in the cigarette and toilet wine futures throughout the California Penal System.
Padre Weaselo was at the tar pits today apparently. My apologies to the tar.
“If you paid up in time like we asked, we coulda done some serious damage.”
-Feathers, LA gangster
These stupid ACC games I watch. This one is sponsored by “Night Hero”, the binoculars that see at night-right into your cousin’s bedroom!
“You mean cousin sister?” -The SEC version of that commercial
Found a funny:
Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job?
Me: Because of something my boss said
Interviewer: It says here you were fired
Me: That’s the thing he said
LOL, cause and effect. Seems legit.
I remember seeing Schaefer Stadium under construction from my aunt’s apartment across US 1 when we visited up home in 1970. I last visited that place to go to the pro shop for a jersey in Jan 2002, the week before the Tuck Rule game (still have that Bruschi jersey).
The horse track closed briefly for a couple years late 80s/early 90s, didn’t close for good till 1997, right after the Pats’ SB loss to Favre and Desmond Howard, so the reaction probably wasn’t as extreme as the quote above, except from all my racist uncles who hated football (insert quaint NE racial slur here) and loved harness racing down at the track.
Pens @ Flyers so far? Equal derp.
Let’s watch and see what happens.
Redshirt Family Impeachment Update (after 30 minutes of discussion):
Father: Doesn’t care about Trump, but hates Democrats and want them to crash and burn.
Mother: Pro-Trump but not to racist level.
Neck: Intact, unable to decapitate by biting through.
Racist Level: [waits patiently]
“Hhhrgnnffgggg hrrnnnngggg fffssshhgllllllnnggg.”*
-A. Hernandez
*Decapitation seems like a bad way to go. Can I hang here and see how it goes?
I would hope that at the very least they recognize how much of a sham it is that Mulvaney, Bolton, Pompeo, and Giuliani won’t testify. Even if to “exonerate” the IMPOTUS.
fuck tuesdays. and winter. and oprah
“That third one. Do I have to?”
-Steadman
If he did, it would be his first time.
Let’s not be too hasty.
– Gayle King
Sometimes I think about how close the pens were to folding before the Crosby era and mourn what could have been
“I hear springtime in Sudbury is lovely this time of year.”
[hands Gratliff a frozen envelope]
“Wait you’re not Gary.”
[runs away]
Attentioin DFO Overlords, my boots on the ground ravens shitpost is ready for review.
Yinzers are the one good team the flyers don’t own so looking forward to misery
And the one dissenting vote on Jeter was a Barstool writer. Who was also the Adam Dunn vote!
If those turds get a baseball HoF vote, we deserve an NFL Hall vote.
I nominate Zymm, if nothing else because she can be Dr. Z the Second.
Wandered into my local LCBO today and this tune was playing. Threw me for a loop because background/overhead music should be non-distinct and not elicit an emotional response.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8se66vS90Z8
LOL
what the shit Chelski
Arsenal play with 10 men for 90% of the game yet it ends with a tie? Sheesh….
It was a superb game. Arsenal was lethal on the counter attack.
Won’t that just lead to closely flexed receivers fake jumping near the line trying to draw offsides?
If they are all set, then no one can move.
The way I read it was if he keeps one foot on the ground and gets set again for one second it’s all good. So if a receiver jumps but leaves one foot planted, drawing say a DE over the line, the tackle could reach out and touch the end, drawing an offside. And if he doesn’t get the DE to move the receiver can just reset and no false start call.
I guess that’s why they’re trying it out at the Pro Bowl, so they can see who does what & then tweak it in the offseason.
Too bad no one will ever see it to find out.
Oh, Grumblelord will be watching…
Is Brady playing for the AFC team?