- Lesser Footy May Day – How Many tWBS’s Shall There Be? – May 23, 2020
- Most Glorious Return and Regerts FOAR 2028-29 – May 2, 2020
- Slight Emergence Into Reality – Saturday Open Thread – April 25, 2020
Yes, Steve Atwater gets the banner pic. He fucking earned it. The Smiling Assassin was a childhood hero, and remains a damned fine human being. Another thing to celebrate in this damned fine season of FITBAW.
Of course, there was the little matter of Sunday night’s game. Fat Andy v. Baby Shanny. Mahomes-y v. the ceiling-shattering Janeane Garofolo. Plenty to be happy for, no matter the final result. No Belicheat nor Dreamboat anywhere in sight. Fuck and YES!
Pre-game was horrid (even muted), and I will say nothing of commercials. You have annoying co-workers and/or aunts for that.
Fuck me, there was all kinds of motion and shifting in this mofo. KC went behind early (again), but this time only by 3 before a nice, long TD drive at the Q1 death. Fat Andy did right by going for 4th and 1 on the Tomsulas’ 5, and surprised everyone (at least me) with a run up the gut. Playing against tendencies is well-important, even if you might look silly when it backfires. I like all the adjustments both sides are making thus far.
Against typecasting, it was the CHEFS’ D-line that make the first major impact, pressuring Janeane into a pickerception. You have to think KC would feel good with a two-score lead. But despite another 4th and 1 conversion, the drive bogged down and they settled for 10-3. Punch, counter-punch.
Colonel Mostert and one-armed Tevin Coleman smashed back. Janeane settled down, too. Then the fullback caught a touched down and every white man over 60 came simultaneous-like. Yes, we can has tie. And Saleh’s charges made sure a tie it would stay in time for half. Huzzah, all HT moneyline bettors – y’all done pushed. Crucial OPI BLEERGH to prevent a Tomsulas FG, after some really smart punch/counter-punch timeout game of chicken.
Tomsulas get the ol’ pelota to start the 2nd half. They would throw successfully down the field, until Baby Shanny decided to be un-frisky on 4th and 2. 42-yarder is good, Santa Clara back into a slender lead. Mahomes took his turn to make a pickerception. That Fred Warner dude is underrated as fuck. As good an all-around LB as you’ll see. I’d say these defensive coordinators brought their A-games.
Peoples also don’t talk about Deebo! enough. A better version of Tyreek Hill, who also isn’t a (known) piece of shit. This Tomsulas bandwagon might just last awhile. Colonel Mostert made it to the touched down place, now Kansas City is in trouble. Playing Santa Clara from multiple scores behind is a very not-good idea.
Then Patrick made pickerception #2 on 3rd and 6. Yeah, already in FG range, but you have to be thinking TD there. It was just a poor throw. Because Santa Clara has the best DL in FITBAW, by a factor of around a billion. Made things tough on the young QB.
Still had a wee bit of dramatics, following a 3rd and 15 bomb and a bailout BLEERGH DPI on 3rd and 7. 20-17, but I still don’t see it happening. That said, I am wrong a lot. And at 5:18, Spagnulo forced the first Tomsulas 3-and-out of the night. Isn’t FITBAW fucking great??
All of a sudden, Mahomes remembered he was good. A perfect “drop in the bucket” to surprise hero Sammy Watkins took us to the 10, and Fat Andy called/designed the perfect play on 3rd and goal. Surprise hero #2 Damien Williams scored his 2nd TD, juuuuuussssst before stepping out of bounds. 24-20, but still plenty of time and 3 timeouts for each squadron.
Santa Clara had one chance, but Emmanuel Sanders seemed to pull up a tad lame, on a bomb that was just a tad overthrown. That combination of tads would be the difference, as KC took over on downs a play later, leading to Damien Williams score #3 in clock kill mode. 31-20, and everybody in the world breathes a big sigh of relief for Andy Reid.
As a Broncos fan, I recall what it was like for Elway/the franchise to get that 800-pound gorilla off our back. It is stupid, but I cried like a baby. Championships are something special. Relish it, The Revanchist! And congrats on a fantastic season, Ms. Nel and Madame Covalent. I suspect both of these QB/coach combinations will be back.
The 2019 NFL season was a true treasure. We don’t get many like this, so I feel it is important to savour things. Thank you for reading.