Your “Please Just Go” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus
Latest posts by theeWeeBabySeamus (see all)

I originally had a very different idea to write about foar tonight.  Maybe you’ll get that one next week sometime.  Assuming I’m not in jail or in the hospital.  Or worst case scenario, the morgue.

Anywhooooo…

So my desktop computer died last night.  No worries there.  It’s not as if I hadn’t run that poor mass of metal and wires and whatnot into the ground for the past four years.  It owed me nothing but eventually it had to go away.

But in order to get tonight’s open thread done I had to whip out the laptop

Now I hadn’t used the laptop since August of 2019 on my last road trip.  So of course it had to update everything and didn’t even give me the option to tell it not to do so.  Meh, what can I do?

It finishes all of its automatic updates and I go to sit to get ready to start writing.  DFO won’t let me login.

Fuck.

So I go in and change my password.  In fact I changed all of my passwords while I was at it.  Takes about ten minutes, no big deal.  And now I am READY TO WRITE.

Then Mom comes into the office carrying a bunch of boxes.  For whatever reason she decided to go and get all of the gifts, Christmas or otherwise, which my niece asked for over the past two years, but never bothered to open.  And she wanted my opinion on all of them.  Individually.  As to which other kids in the family might get some use out of them.

I think (silently)….  Mom I frankly don’t give a fuck.  But I play along, what choice do I have?

This goes on for about thirty minutes.  No shit.

So we get through that and I think I’m out of the woods.  Yeah, suuuuuure I am.  She comes back about five minutes later with more shit.

Mom: Would you wear this? tWBS: No way in hell.

Mom: Do you have any use for this zip drive? tWBS: It’s at least fifteen years old Mom and they sucked even when they were new.

Mom: Well I don’t know as much about these things as you do. tWBS: Mom, if we have had no use for it in over five years it’s outdated.  Put it in a box and we’ll toss it.

Mom: Well I don’t want to waste it if….  tWBS: Mom it’s junk now.

Mom: Well OK.  Fine.

And she leaves the office and goes back downstairs.  So now I feel badly.  I go downstairs to apologize.  We hug it out.  And then I come back upstairs to write.  I close the office door and lock it.

So far so good.

To be clear, I love my mother.  But sometimes her timing is not the best.

And yes, in one form or another I’ll pay for it later.

Sports To Make You Want To Go Away

NBA

  • Milwaukee @ Indiana – 7:30pmEST – TV: ESPN
  • LAL @ Denver – 10:00pmEST – TV: ESPN

Full Schedule

NHL

  • Montreal @ Boston – 7:30pmEST – TV: NBCSN
  • Calgary @ Los Angeles – 10:00pmEST – TV: NBCSN

Full Schedule

NCAA BB

  • (23)Creighton @ (10) Seton Hall – 6:30pmEST – TV: FS1
  • South Carolina @ Georgia – 6:30pmEST – TV: SECN
  • Xavier @ (19)Butler – 6:30pmEST – TV: CBSSN
  • Alabama @ (11)Auburn – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
  • George Mason @ VCU – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU
  • Rutgers @ tOSU – 7:00pmEST – TV: B1GN
  • (18)Marquette @ (15)Villanova – 8:30pmEST – TV: FS1
  • Florida @ aTm – 8:30pmEST – TV: SECN
  • Providence @ St. John’s – 8:30pmEST – TV: CBSSN
  • Iowa State @ Oklahoma – 9:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
  • Michigan @ Northwestern – 9:00pmEST – TV: B1GN
  • (20)Houston @ South Florida – 9:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU

Full Schedule

Author’s Note:  I can’t help wonder who the programming genius is who managed to NOT get (3)KU @ (14)WVU on realsies TeeVee.  He/She needs to (wait for it)…

…Go away.

If you wanna see that one you can stream it online, however.  Watch ESPN, or whatever they’re calling it this week.

Time To Go Home

Please don’t YOU guys/gals ever go away.

In spite of the fact that we can’t escape our own personal situations at times, we can take solace in one another’s misery here.  You know, laugh at one another’s personal Hells?  We’re good like that.

Talk about that in the comments if you’d like.  Or anything else you might fancy.

Love ya’s.

(Now I have to go order an new desktop computer….uggggghhhh)

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theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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That guy in the background is fucking UUUUUUUGE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Someone below was talking about What Would Tyler Durden Do? And I read the shit out of that during the Brendon and (mostly) Lex years.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I left pretty much the exact moment Brendon did.

Senor Weaselo

I’m still mad nobody made a blog called What Would Brian Boitano Do, but I imagine copyright would be all over that.

Old School Zero

I miss the old days, back when the void was a vast, silent emptiness and there wasn’t even the concept of life. Nowadays it’s all laws of thermodynamics and the noise of brownian motion everywhere, and idiots perceiving some fragile order out of this vast chaos. It’s a wonder we get any sleep at all. And what the fuck is with Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson making a Saw movie?!

Doktor Zymm

There are still Saw movies?!

Old School Zero

https://youtu.be/L5pgwURxuNs

I don’t understand.

Gratliff

I did laugh very hard at Jackson’s take on the tagline, not because it’s particularly clever, but because it sounds like him doing a parody sketch of Saw

Old School Zero

I’m hopeful it’s actually a serious marketing campaign for a sly subversive parody.

rockingdog

Rollin & Jamin

rockingdog
Doktor Zymm

I naively entered a contest for a barrel of bourbon, and this apparently marked me as a ‘young father soon to be father’ and they started sending me a newsletter called ‘Fatherly’

They have severely missed their mark

Viva La Tabula Raza

If I’m not mistaken, isn’t that kind of thing right in your wheelhouse as a statistics wizard? Maybe you should proffer your services to them. For one thing, living/working in Bourbon country has got to be cheaper than in the Bay Area.

Doktor Zymm

As much as being paid in booze sounds like a good idea, it probably actually a really bad idea. And the Bay area really isn’t that bad living in the East Bay, it’s less than double what I was paying in Chicago for double the salary, and good wine is pretty cheap

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve never been to Chicago except O’Hare and Midway, but I did spend a few years in California back in the 1970s, and though I am sure it is not the same now as it was then, I was pleasantly surprised that I could buy hard liquor at the Safeway grocery store in El Dorado Hills when I visited an old friend out there last summer when I went out to scope a renovation job at the U-2 hangar at Beale AFB. Everybody bangs on Cali, but fuck them.

Doktor Zymm

Ya, it’s alright. And I have way more perspective on that song now that I actually know about Jerry Brown’s political career.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even if all living expenses totalled up as double, you’d still come out ahead, because 2*salary – 2*living expenses > salary – living expenses.

Senor Weaselo

Are you sure there, sport?

SonOfSpam

I believe in you. Father a child.

Doktor Zymm

Here comes the first XXX chromosome!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have lost close to 10 lbs in the last couple of months, because nobody feeds me. Burger King tries, bless his monarchic heart.

Doktor Zymm

Come work for a tech company, they’ll feed you!

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, I had my two month follow up with the podiatric surgeon this past Friday. I am now directed to put weight on the foot, but only with the protective boot. I find it kind of weird learning how to walk again after two months totally off the foot, and am using a cane to help keep my balance when needed. Still using the knee scooter with the bicycle basket to transport large items such as lunch and 1.75 liter bottles of liquor from the kitchen or dry bar back to my lair in the bedroom. Another odd thing I find is that I am having a lot more difficulty talking to people, since for the last two months I have only done so a few times a week rather than on a daily basis. Lots of stuttering and grasping for words that formerly came easily, as I am ordinarily a fairly well spoken individual.

Friend is going to come by Friday and load me into her car and take me to the bar for the first time in two months, really looking forward to that. The last two months have been like the first scene in Apocalypse Now, except I’m not waiting for a mission, like Captain Willard. But I do have as much booze, though mostly not getting quite as out of control as him.
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God I hate being cooped up.

Happiest news is I was finally able to put both my feet with full weight on the electronic scale for the first time in two months. I had been really worried that since I have been so sedentary with nothing to do but drink, eat, snack, and watch streaming video in my recliner, I would have put back on a bunch of the weight I’d lost over the last 14 months. Was very pleased to find a weight gain of only 5 pounds, which I should be able to lose again fairly easily once I get a little more active, have less time to sit in the recliner and gorge myself on nuts, scotch, pretzels, and rum, and get on the stationary cycle and recommence with the weight loss.

Gratliff

Build your computer like a man. It doesn’t count until you start a fire in the case when you plug a case fan into two separate power sources because you’re trying to get it done on your lunch break so you can dive head first into escapism when you get off work.

Doktor Zymm
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Building my own desktop and having it boot cleanly from the word “go” was one of the top 50 feelings of accomplishment in my life

Unsurprised

Time to flip the card to zero on the “Days since a Big Ten school got its dick stuck in a sex crimes investigation” board

SonOfSpam

LEAVE GYM ALONE!

Or indict and imprison and execute him, whatevs.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Trump is going to make Jordan the Secretary of Education once he steals the next election fair and square and gets rid of Erik Prince’s Amway c**t sister from that position.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Since coronavirus hit the scene, the S&P 500 is up about five percent. That’s a pretty insane gain even in the best of times. Sooner or later the bottom is going to fall out, and I am not savvy enough to time things properly to avoid the crash. I’ve described as like being on an amusement park ride that is spinning faster and faster and faster and you just know that it is going to fall apart any minute now, but it’s too late to get off safely* so you might as well just try to have fun until this stupid ride up and kills everyone on it.

*i.e. inflation

SonOfSpam

I’m leaving everything alone, since my stock investments are all part of mutual funds/401Ks/IRAs and I can’t quit working for at least 15-20 years so (shrug).

Agree, it will definitely crash (probably right after a Dem gets elected).

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That would be wonderful. A greater fear is that it will collapse right after Shit-for-brains gets elected again, and we become 1930’s Germany.

Senor Weaselo

When I started my Roth I figured the market correction is inevitable, so I went with the international stock fund with the knowledge of what amount I need to get into the legit funds and estimating it would be 3-5 years. As this was before the corona virus I see that I may have miscalculated.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FWIW I was conviced the top had hit when SPY (the S&P 500 index fund) was at 300. It’s at 337 tonight. I didn’t miss out on too much, fortunately, because I realized my mistake pretty quickly.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fucking SPYs have cost us a lot over the years.comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How much longer is Rush Limbaugh going to live? Should I buy the champagne now or wait until it goes on sale?

SonOfSpam

I checked this week’s Vons ad; the $5 Friday special includes…Cooks champagne. That’s fucking ballsy.

Anyway, I don’t know how long he has to live but it’s already been too long.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

LaMarca is on sale there too. And T-bone steaks!

SonOfSpam

I picked up $2.99 strip steaks yesterday (last day). LaMarca is always solid.

Valentine’s Day is probably gonna be at home, where it’s cheaper AND better.

Viva La Tabula Raza

When you see viral videos of underage Dominican rent-boys celebrating in the streets of the favelas of Santo Domingo, that’s when you’ll know it’s time.

Also, Walter White says “Not so fast there, young man. There is a thing called remission, if the ratings indicate it’s worthwhile.”

SonOfSpam

That’s horrible and accurate.

litre_cola

There is a player on Pachuca futbol club that goes by Burrito Hernandez. I think that is awesome.

SonOfSpam

Especially if he’s wet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s very interesting being alive to see the Great Filter do its work.

litre_cola

Freezer vodka?

SonOfSpam

My last dry month was during the Reagan administration.

BC Dick

Month?! Good lord. I think I’d need an induced coma.

WCS

I haven’t slept more than three hours a night for a week. My kids will absolutely not leave me alone, at all. I don’t know what their problem is, since they won’t say anything besides, “I want you, Daddy.” That’s great and all, but, for crying out loud, Dad needs some personal time, preferably with Mommy. Nope.

herodotus450

“I want you, Daddy.”

That’s weird, usually the people who say that to me are happy to go away once I’ve paid them.

SonOfSpam

Well sure…the steel mills won’t run themselves.

WCS

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Viva La Tabula Raza

At the gentlemen’s club, I find I always get the most attention when I’m at the Pulse machine. Funny how that’s the only kind of business establishment that dispenses your ATM withdrawal in one dollar bills.

jjfozz

I think 6 people have been killed in Baltimore in just three days. My wife was accosted by an angry squeegee kid. Our acting mayor should be the lead in Dumb and Dummer Part 3.

Other than that, things are good here in old Mob Town.

Redshirt

Holy shit, Survivor is still on?! What does it think it is, the Simpsons? They have earned what they’ve earned.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I have spent the entire day at work organizing our Photoshop library for outgoing weekly emails, which is wonderful busy work to do while listening to Podcasts/music. I’m, about to go and get beers with the new Lady Commander nearby and get some tacos for dinner.

I gotta try and be around more often. I miss you buncha deranged lunatics.

SonOfSpam

Lookit mister “I found love both physical and emotional so I have things to do other than share misery with you lot” over here.

We hate him, right fellas?

Redshirt

No, I’m happy for him. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go punch a wall for no particular reason.

LemonJello

He better be bringing enough tacos and beer for the whole clubhouse.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Scan with a stud-finder first to understand where the 2x4s are in order to avoid unwanted trips to Urgent Care for x-rays.

SonOfSpam

Every time I use the stud finder (about once per fifteen years), I point it at myself and make it light up. Wife hasn’t laughed yet, but I’m gonna git her someday.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe she thinks it’s a “plank-finder” rather than a “stud-finder?”

SonOfSpam

Shit, I can’t plank either.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Plank was one of my favorite characters in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.comment image

jjfozz

Look, Mr. Happy. This shit ain’t gonna stand around here. We are miserable human beings who revel in the lives of normal people, because we can make fun of them and dream of their public disembowlings. So seriously, break up with her and start buying cases of Thunderbird.

Christ, do i have to do everything around here?

Redshirt

When I’m elected Evil Overlord for Life, I’m putting you in charge of a Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood like show. Your wisdom cannot be wasted in this website.

Senor Weaselo

LOOKS LIKE LOW COMMANDER’LL BE EATING TWO TYPES OF TACOS BUT NOT CHOCO, HARF HARF!

Redshirt

Live shot of the Biden Presidential Campaign.

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litre_cola

Doing taxes, I know I am owing. Damn amateur stripper gig and their auditors.

Senor Weaselo

Remember, you can deduct your Huevo Splash.

Redshirt

I keep getting refunds but they are getting smaller and smaller. I’m being punished for paying off my student loans and investing my money into a Retirement Plan. Now that I’ve put a few Ks under the pillow in a certificate, I’m expecting it to go down a bit more.

“You got $20 interest last year? Cool! Give me $19 of it.”

jjfozz

FYI kirsten dunst is in a new series on Showtime, and her boobs are fucking out of control. Also, Mrs. Fozz is gone tonight so I’m drinking bourbon, ignoring the little shits I sired, and smoking cigars.

Redshirt

“out of control”: You have a no words; you should’ve sent a poet?
or
“out of control”: She is more plastic than boob now?

jjfozz

The first one. I think she was pregnant and them boobs did NOT go away. Holy crap.

Redshirt

(does image search)

Wow. You weren’t lying.

jjfozz

I never lie about boobs. They are my life.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hearing the name Kirsten Dunst takes me back to the old What Would Tyler Durden Do days. The guy who ran that site hated her so much. My favorite line of his was “if Kirsten Dunst and I were driving in a car and somehow got stuck in a snowbank and had to huddle together for warmth to survive the night, they would find me in the morning with icicles on my nose and a sneer on my face.”

Sharkbait

Holy fuck, I forgot all about WWTDD.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was the first site where I was a legitimate “regular”, and eventually led me down the rabbit hole to withleather and then KSK.

Sharkbait

Same. As well as Warming Glow*

*Bring Back Matt

Viva La Tabula Raza

Boobs? Yeah, I did those, multiple times.
—geeky dude John Carpenter
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’s been in the camera business for a while.

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