Your “How Did I Get Here?” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL Nuggets:

  • Today’s trade / release rumours:
    Two of them have the height Bill Polian likes. They all have the drugs Jim Irsay likes.
    • Matt Stafford.
      • Unlikely, given that he’s a $21 million cap hit if he plays, but a $32 million hit if he’s released or traded.
    • Josh Norman.
      • He’s just too expensive, and Washington can draft cheaper options.
    • Jameis Winston.
      • Sure, he just had LASIK, but when Bruce Arians asks the double-entendre’d question of “What’s Door No. 2?”, it gets the mind a’ wandering.
  • Other, more boring rumours:
    As above, just singular.
    • Michael Bidwill “is open” to having the Cardinals be the featured team on the 2020 version of “Hard Knocks”.
    • FYI – there is selection criteria to being a Hard Knocks candidate:
      • if they do not have a first-year head coach,
      • have not been in the playoffs in the past two years, and
      • have not appeared on the show in the past 10 seasons.
      • Teams can also volunteer.
    • Other eligible teams:
      • the Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Jacksonville Jaguars and Pittsburgh Steelers.
  • Reinstated:
    • Myles Garrett.
      • He missed six games.
      • Mason Rudolph’s fine was upheld on appeal, which possibly played a part.
  • With all the rumours swirling about, here are some important dates to keep in mind:
    • February 25 – First day for clubs to designate Franchise or Transition Players.
      • With a March 10 deadline.
    • March 18 – a number of things occur, with 4:00PM ET being key:
      • Prior to 4:00PM:
        • Teams must be under the 2020 salary cap
        • All options & tenders must be exercised in order to keep the player off the free agent market.
      • After 4:00PM:
        • All 2019 player contracts expire.
        • Trading & free agency for 2020 begins.

Hi again. It’s my first day back in a few weeks. Oh sure – I’ve peeked in once in a while, just to see how everyone’s doing. I’m getting better, thanks. I’d known the guy over 27 years, so it cut pretty deep. Not quite up to full-speed yet, but improving. No one’s concerned anymore about my drinking, so that’s a positive step at least.

It turns out that when people see you liberally drinking from the bottle it’s considered a “sign”. But the movies make it look so cool!

Anyway, it was a nice service. Attendance exceeded expectations, and family drama was blissfully avoided. So, life started getting back to normal on Monday. We all know my dogs were a solace for me during these trying times, so let’s see how Westminster turned out. Surely, they picked a cool do–

MOTHERFUCKER! A GODDAMNED POODLE?!

They had a perfectly good Golden Retriever right there.

Look – he even carried his Best of Group ribbon! And I’m not alone in my rage – apparently #DanielWasRobbed was a leading trend on the Twitters Tuesday night.

What kind of inbred, self- centred piece of sh–

Never mind.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: (all Canadian games are regional broadcast only)
    • Flyers at Panthers – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360
    • Capitals at Avalanche – 9:45PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360
  • NBA:
    • Clippers at Celtics – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
    • Thunder at Pelicans – 8:00PM | TSN3
  • NCAA:
    • Memphis at Cincinnati – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Wichita State at UCF – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Colorado at Oregon – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Washington at Southern California – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • Arizona at California – 10:30PM | FS1
  • Left turns:
    • NASCAR Cup Series: Bluegreen Vacations Duel At Daytona – 7:00PM | FS1 / TSN
      • Back-to-back 60-lap races to determine starting positions 3-40 for Sunday’s Daytona 500.

 

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Porky PrimeALXMACyeah rightBrick MeathookDoktor Zymm Recent comment authors
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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

I found a bunch of random World Series DVDs at Goodwill…the box sets with the full broadcasts…for $3. I looked on eBay and some are fetching a solid return, but I also kinda wanna watch them.

Also, finally found a flaw in the new GF: Gotta sit thru Nickelback in September. Which I will. With a big pussy-eating grin.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

You got it backwards. Sit through Nickelback with a big I-just-got-my-cock-sucked grin.

yeah right

If I could sit through Bon Jovi you can sit through Nickleback.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

I’m not going to say Nickelback will be the worst band I’ve ever seen live, and that list also includes Bon Jovi. I roamed Hollywood a lot in the early 90s. The horror…the horror…

Doktor Zymm

I know many of you have been taken in by ‘Wyoming’ but the truth lives on in our youth!
https://twitter.com/craigcalcaterra/status/1227594895747141632

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Aside: First Reformed is incredible

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Thanks for the Rec; it’s been on my watch list since forever

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

There’s a line in Collateral that really annoys me. Jada Pinkett-Smith says “I represent the Department of Justice and….” That’s not who she represents. I’ve seen the captions. She represents The People of the United States of America, and when you are on the other side of that caption it must be just a tiny bit daunting like you just fucked with the Roman Empire during Pax Romana.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I was rooting for Tom Cruise to kill her.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Hope Trump can bring this guy out of retirement/back from cryogenic storage to announce the election results in November.comment image

SonOfSpam

He’s basically a hot Sarah Huckabee.

Sharkbait

At least both eyes can loOk in the same direction.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

His ass is probably less hairy than Sarah’s, too, when doggy styling.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I have to admit that I am impressed at how MLB has managed to come off even more incompetent and corrupt than the fucking Shield.

litre_cola

Gary Bettman is no glorious leader either.

Sharkbait

He IS a regional disgrace

Senor Weaselo

Astros or new playoffs idea?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yes

JerBear50
JerBear50

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blaxabbath

Watching the Futurama where Nixon gets Bender’s body and runs for Earth President. God — I sure hope we can get back to a time where elections are not a matter of fascists vs civilized America.

Redshirt

1948?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Guess it all depends upon how you define “civilized.”
—Strom Thurmond and the Dixiecrats

Redshirt

Shit. Forgot about those assholes.

1928?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Probably more like “never.”

Redshirt

I don’t know. The Elections of 1788-89, 1792 and 1820 went pretty good.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Weren’t those elections the kind that rich white landholders owning at least 200 slaves were the only people eligible to vote? Kinda like the way we are headed now?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I keep thinking, “there’s more of us than there are of them, why the fuck are they in charge?” Then I remember the cheating, gerrymandering, Russian fuckery, and voter disenfranchisement, and think, “oh yeah, that’s right.”

ballsofsteelandfury

You should be thinking South Africa and apartheid.

JerBear50
JerBear50

And when he’s done masturbating?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m never done masturbating.

Redshirt

Stupid refractory period.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Kinda like the Sunnis and Shi’ites in pre-invasion Iraq, too, I reckon.
The world is such a fucked up place, and it can all be blamed on human beings….

Redshirt

Apathy. Apathy is the poison for Democracy.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Absolutely. BTW, didja check out American Idol the other night?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Welcome back, akakmenschrob!

The woman who just moved in a few houses down is a dead ringer for Olivia Munn. She said her name is “Malik” but am hoping that she was lying and someday her boyfriend “Nicholas” shows up and tosses a football around with me.

ballsofsteelandfury

You realize she broke up with Aaron, right?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So you’re saying that she’s single…

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve bragged on this before here, but anything in the header pic having to do with Heads triggers me. Maybe I should just type it up in a word doc and cut and paste it every time I get the opportunity.
‘Saw Byrne three times during the 2018 American Utopia; twice in San Antonio and once at the Merriweather Post Pavilion outside Baltimore. Due to the intense choreography, the setlist was almost identical each time. Awesome show.”
And yeah, they did “Once in a Lifetime” each time I saw him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

More like Thrice in a Lifetime, amirite?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Thrice in a Year’s Time, more like, I reckon. Saw him several times late 80’s and throughout the 1990’s after Heads broke up and he was pretty prolific with the solo albums and tours.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

You’re the Chris Christie Springsteen fan of the Talking Heads.

BC Dick

Stafford? That seems nuts. He’s the only thing keeping them competitive. Ish. But it is the lions.

litre_cola

I thought the exact same thing. I am sure it is nothing. His numbers are very good. Although he has been there 10 years and not won a playoff game.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Matthew Stafford is a non-itinerant/non-nomadic Ryan Fitzpatrick.

herodotus450
herodotus450

PK Subban getting booed so bad I thought the game was in Montreal.

Redshirt

The new leadoff batter the Reds signed from Japan missed his first batting practice pitch of Spring Training. So, there’s nowhere to go but up.

Also here another GIF for the Sweet Travesty of Justice:

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SonOfSpam

Reds gettin a lot of preseason love. But Votto should retire soon, like 2 years ago.

Redshirt

Agreed. Votto may have a great eye for the ball but time is undefeated.

If anything they need to consider moving him down in the lineup to maybe the 5 or 6 hole. If some batters get on base ahead of him, suddenly the pitcher won’t be able to pitch around him and Votto may get some better pitches.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Found a funny
Know why I pulled you over?

“No sir”

1987, 7-11 on Main, you paid for Coke but filled your cup with Slurpee. We gotcha. We finally gotcha

litre_cola

Who gets signed 1st, Dez or Antonio Brown? Discuss.

BC Dick

Dez I think. There’s only so much you can lay on a coach.

blaxabbath

AB.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It turns out that when people see you liberally drinking from the bottle it’s considered a “sign”. But the movies make it look so cool!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Whoever promises to get rid of NHL blackout rules has my vote for president.

Redshirt

I just want to see the look on the Democratic candidate’s face when Trump pulls his Right Bower card and outlaws all spam calls and emails.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For a second there I thought you said you were gonna vote for the guy who gets the blacks out of the NHL, and was like, “no, don’t vote for Trump!”

rockingdog
rockingdog
Redshirt

Not gonna lie, a Scorpio/Skeletor ticket seems intriguing.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I have the 2016 version of this t-shirt, I wear it when I’m working out in the garage.
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Senor Weaselo

Kodos 2020: Don’t Blame Me

Redshirt

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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