Your “Same Crap; Different Diaper” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Noise:

  • The Tom Brady rumour bullshit has now hit Favre-ian levels: 

Free agency begins March 18th, so this current national nightmare will end soon.

Wanna bet?

(I carried this over from yesterday, because Dreamboat is still a hot topic today, and I feel it got lost amongst the Super Tuesday talk. I was kinda proud of it.)

In doing my due diligence for the Tom Brady piece yesterday, I observed that the Cowboys, in lieu of signing Dak Prescott & Amari Cooper to long-term deals, have $78 million in cap space available for 2020. Now, the Cowboys have said they’d like to negotiate a deal, but are also not adverse to using a tag for one of the two in the interim.

For the 2020 season, the cost of the franchise tag is $26.895 million for a QB, and $18,491 million for a WR. If you consider Prescott the more valuable of the two,

And why wouldn’t you?

here’s what you could buy for that $26.895 million:

As you can see, there’s a lot of value out there, should they choose to move on from Dak and to a high-round draft pick.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Flyers at Capitals – 7:00PM | NBCSN
    • Blue Jackets at Flames – 8:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Ducks at Colorado Avalanche – 9:30PM | NBCSN
  • NBA:
    • Pacers at Bucks – 7:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
    • Pelicans at Dallas Mavericks – 9:30PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Xavier at Providence – 6:30PM | FS1
    • Texas A&M at Auburn – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Villanova at Seton Hall – 8:30PM | FS1
    • Florida State at Notre Dame – 9:00PM | ESPN2
  • Wrasslin’:
    • AEW Dynamite – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
    • NXT – 8:00PM | USA

I guess we don’t have to discuss politics until next Tuesday, March 10, when five primaries take place – Idaho, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Washington – and one caucus – North Dakota. Or we can laugh/cry at Bloomberg blowing $500 million without denting his overall net worth. Or we can do what comes naturally – make memes out of Tom Brady turning into late-career Brett Favre.

See?!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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yeah right

Time for a proper Irish goodbye.

“Listen up lads! I’ll be having a piss then stopping at the bar on the way back.

What can I get ya?

That’s a shot of Irish and a beer for Seamus, a right proper drink. Balls is up for anything, aye and a stout for Low Commander. Rikki with the usual late night light and Dok with her exotic white wines. Anyone seen Son of Spam or Brick Meathook?

Got it.

Watch me beverage and I’ll be right back!”

Uber arrives and nobody sees yeah right until next year.

We’re doing the annual Atwater Village pub crawl soon, boppers.

Stay tuned for details.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
Unsurprised

Speaking of Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, Jane Levy should’ve turned on 2FA for her iCloud account

Senor Weaselo

I will continue making Viva Laughlin jokes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vtonEFBeZk

ALXMAC
Unsurprised

The scene of Titus killing Cicero is so hammy and hilarious.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The next name in hockey: Shane Wright. Got OHL exceptional player status last year and is a point per game player this season on a dogshit Kingston team.

I once asked Rick Mirer if he enjoyed being a Golden Domer and he said, “yeah man Asian chicks give the best head.”

blaxabbath

Who was the bigger boy band — NSync or Backstreet Boys?

Mr. Ayo

BackStreet Boys by a mile

— Balls and Brick

ballsofsteelandfury

You know that’s right.

Senor Weaselo

“I prefer Shower Boys.” -Jerry S., federal penitentiary

Mr. Ayo

He’s just jealous because their beat was more catchy than his rhythmic slapping

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

tWBS’ new ride?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Chelyabinsk AATV, 1950s. A prototype rear-engined 8-wheel Amphibious All-Terrain Vehicle. Built by the Design Bureau of the Chelyabinsk tractor hydraulics plant in the 1950s.

ballsofsteelandfury

That is pretty cool!

yeah right

And radiation proof from pesky non-communist radiation that was totally not released by accident.

Also has vodka freezer!

DA!

nomonkeyfun

The airport light poles wouldn’t have a chance.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My wife is watching the pilot of Zoe’s Extraordinary Playlist. They should call this show Johnny Deformed…wait, I mean Zoe’s Extraordinary Music Rights Budget.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Charging more for the men’s model? Gran Prix Enterprises was woke to the gender wage gap before it was cool.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Just twist the base and away she goes. Gives fast, penetrating comfort.”

The men’s has more girth.

BC Dick

If he’s buying a men’s, the women’s should be included.

Senor Weaselo

FIve minutes? What is it, some kinda machine? Wait, it is? Carry on then.

Senor Weaselo

Bring back Viva Laughlin!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Fuck. JVR broke his hand

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Look at the tits on that one lobster, though.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Drugs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Watching porn in the Bat Mobile.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This fabulous flip belongs to biomedical engineer Judy Sullivan, who monitored the vital signs of the Apollo 11 astronauts throughout their spaceflight training via small sensors attached to their bodies. On July 16, 1969, she was the only woman in the suit lab as the team helped Neil Armstrong suit up for launch.

Sullivan appeared on the game show “To Tell the Truth,” in which a celebrity panel had to guess which of the female contestants was a biomedical engineer. Her choice to wear a short, ruffled skirt stumped everyone and won her a $500 prize. In this photo, Sullivan monitors a console during a training exercise for the first lunar landing mission.

Brick Meathook

She probably fucked ‘em all, for science.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, just because you did that on the sub doesn’t mean everybody does it.

Brick Meathook

We didn’t do anything for science.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good point.

herodotus450

“Hey toots, why don’t you check my blood pressure down here [grabs crotch]”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Whenever she didn’t want to have sex, her boyfriend would simply turn her off and then back on again. Simpler times, back then.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She wore boots.

scotchnaut

Story Time!

After I was done a few years of university I moved into this old house with a few other buddies. The house was massive and it had a huge sitting room just off the front entrance that none of us had any use for. We had to fill it with something and I got it into my head that we would fill it with other people’s stuff. So I started dragging shit home from other folk’s front lawns/porches/driveways while staggering my way back home from bars. The kicker was that our lease was only for a year and towards the end of my stay I started returning (some, not all) stolen items to their owners. To this day I wish I could have seen the look on someone’s face as their wicker rocking chair magically re-appeared on their sundeck nine months after it had vanished. That Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer that you left on the lawn until early spring? BAM! It’s yours once again. It’s important to give back to the community.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You Sir, are a true humanitarian.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Who, apparently, does a shit-tonne of acid.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, he’s gotta be fueled up for the Hobo killinz.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s interesting though. These days I want to rid of the shit. But nobody wants it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

All that blood? Here, take it back Mr. Vagrant!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nothin’ cleans your soul better ‘n’ Hobo Blood.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How on earth did you remember where each piece came from?

scotchnaut

Just some, not all. That area of town (Ottawa, off Bank Street) was set up on a grid system and we would walk home on just 4 or 5 streets most of the time so we were fairly familiar with many of the houses plus we would talk and laugh about previous thefts so that helped.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Here’s a few from the gallery “MISCELLANEOUS”:

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One of the best band names I ever heard was “The Vic Taybacks”

theeWeeBabySeamus

MEL!!!!!!!

scotchnaut

Mel never did kiss Flo’s grits.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We’ve replaced the Washington Capitals with the Detroit Redwings. Let’s see if anyone notices.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A road sign pointing the way to a brothel in Pompeii, 79 AD

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Plymouth cock?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If your joke was on a different continent…..

herodotus450

Philly finally getting revenge for having the Nation’s Capital stripped from them 223 or so years ago.

blaxabbath

God I need take a huge corrosive shit bad.

Have they marked Rush’s grave yet? I want to get started while the “Christians” who will mourn him are still Danny Boying.

WCS

Game. Blouses.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, sorry; you meant something else.

LemonJello

“Nobody tell her she’s got her dress on backwards okay?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“I hate them he dresses anyway.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fucking editing pussy.

Gratliff

Good, good hockey

Gratliff

Konecny died to prevent that goal

Gratliff

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Gratliff

So it doesn’t work if you capitalize the extension

theeWeeBabySeamus

Where the hell is Gratliff? Oh, there he is.
How did youse get these officials into DC? I’m getting pissed.
Let’s go to Lazlo (yup, still funny)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ij4a6x_mPs

Gratliff

I feel nothing gazing upon DC’s despair

theeWeeBabySeamus

‘Dats whuts up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s the story from here in hell.

Senor Weaselo

Brady Skjei’s in Carolina now, so that dashes my Lazlo Holmes/actual Brady Skjei interview

Brick Meathook

Does anyone else use Postimage for image storage? Have you noticed that they are now using pop-up ads that hijack you off to some other fucking webpage?

I have thousands of images and gifs over there, categorized in over a hundred galleries. It sucks because it would take a year to download them all off of there.

I’m going through some of my more obscure galleries. Looked at one titled “BULLWINKLE & SPANKING” just a while ago. Now I’m looking at the gallery called “NUTSHOTS”:

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I use postimage all the time these days because no one likes partially nekkid wimminz uploaded. Haven’t noticed popups yet though.

Brick Meathook

They don’t pop-up so much as they take you to another site and there is no back button. Like a shady Russian identity thieving porn site.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I did try to upload an image a day or two ago and my whole system shut down. I had forgotten about that but I thought is was just me.

Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought that one looked familiar!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dZAwBcH4Kw

Brick Meathook

I like how his shoe comes off. It’s science!

Gratliff

Jake the Snake Roberts just walked into AEW and cut a killer promo in 2020. Dallas Page deserves the congressional medal of freedom.

Gratliff

Again appreciate the bravery, but Flyers not built to throw with Wilson

scotchnaut

You know what drives me wild? Basketball dudes with all the talent in the world that can’t hit their free throws. I was an intramural all star that hit 80% because I practiced that over and over again. You know what else drives me wild? People that can’t let go and spanking vids-that combo gets me rock hard.

/just putting it out there…

ballsofsteelandfury

I like the number 69 but that’s just me. ??

scotchnaut

You just got the old -1. Hope you’re happy with 68.

litre_cola

Put him on the list Scotchy!

scotchnaut

Done.

Brick Meathook

You must be jizzing uncontrollably in your pants right now

Brick Meathook

Here’s more scotchy porn:
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Gratliff

KEVIN FUCKING HAYES

Gratliff

Tom Wilson in full shithead mode tonight

scotchnaut

The ESPN scroll tells me that “The NHL is experimenting with ‘Smart Pucks'”. If they manage to gain sentience in the future I’m sure they’ll morph into footballs, because that’s where the real money is.

Brick Meathook

Does anyone here enjoy cartoon spanking videos? Anyone?
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ballsofsteelandfury

I do!

Brick Meathook

Oh I got plenty of ‘em. Balls, do you like anime?

Brick Meathook

Someone’s been naughty!
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ballsofsteelandfury

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Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

This one actually has a live action version
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Mr. Ayo

Of course!

Brick Meathook

. . . and one for you . . .
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herodotus450

Is always Boris

Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut

If you could lose the turban on that guy and make it a busty Japanese teen in an empty warehouse surrounded by judgmental moose? Yeah, I might be interested.

Brick Meathook

Well by gum I’ve got just the one! (no moose though) This is the cartoon that brought out the Victorian prudes and forced me to ban myself. You be the judge:
h
ttps://i.postimg.cc/SsDFy0kr/IMG-5066.gif

Could there be anything more sweet and innocent than that? Watch her tits bounce! Then remind yourself that it’s a cartoon.

scotchnaut

You’re a monster, plain and simple. Your self-imposed intermittent exile in Montreal where you are trying to atone for your sins means nothing to me.

herodotus450

Hockey talking guys: “..Elliot down (in the butterfly) early.”
Heh, also a line from my Scrubs fan fic

Gratliff

Wave that one off, you fucks

Gratliff

What is goal in DC

Gratliff

Call on the ice is technically correct, the worst kind is correct

scotchnaut

In a perfect timeline, Bloomberg would still spend millions upon millions of dollars on anti-Trump ads (because they seem to be really effective and tend to have the effect of emasculating the current President) long after he’s been eliminated from the Democratic race because Trump would waste a ton of energy barking at someone that was no threat to him because he’s that goddamn stupid and petty.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I read that Bloomberg’s campaign staff is paid through November, so they might do exactly that. They are not allowed to coordinate with Biden’s campaign.

blaxabbath

Bloomberg spent $500,000 — or a buck per pound of Meghan McCain — on his campaign.

Horatio Cornblower

Substantially larger than her IQ

scotchnaut

Stop fat-shaming Meghan McCain. That’s not cool. You should get with the program and start dumb-shaming her.

Gratliff

Dad-shaming also works

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He could kill two birds with one stone and start calling her a “fathead”.

blaxabbath

SHE CAN BE TWO THINGS!

Like, “[two] million pounds.”

WCS

A Mike Bloomberg commercial just aired during Wheel of Fortune. Lol

Horatio Cornblower

Watching a thing on one of the ESPN challenges on Pete Rose, and regardless of your stance on whether Pete should or shouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame, I think we can agree that he is a remarkably stupid person. I mean just absolutely bugshit bag-of-hammers dumb.

Gratliff

Also a massive piece of shit even beyond what mlb hates him for

Horatio Cornblower

Personally I have more of a problem with him dating teenagers while an adult then betting on baseball, but I have very high moral standards.

Horatio Cornblower

Rose: “All you’re doing is going over a book!”

Baffled Reporter: “But it’s your book.”

Brick Meathook

Great haircut, though.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: I think we should be hermits for the next three weeks. Just to be safe.

DR MRS DEADLY, ESQ. (RET): Sounds good to me.

– five minutes later –

DR MRS DEADLY, ESQ. (RET): Let’s go to Costco and get samples!

Horatio Cornblower

It’s really no worse than the flu. Some orange guy on the teeveelevison told me that.

Gratliff

Terrible fight to take

Gratliff

Meant to be a hockey comment, but good luck with the super SARS

herodotus450

And everything is going just swimmingly over in the Ottawa Senators camp, in case anyone is wondering. Nothing unusual at all happening over there.

BC Dick

Greasy Gene being a vindictive blowhard who can’t help but stick his dick in the mashed potatoes rather than let someone else have any? Yeah, seems par for the course to me.

scotchnaut

Everything King Melnyk touches turns to mold.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Somewhere, Jimmy Haslam is taking notes

Horatio Cornblower

And then his attorney is immediately grabbing and shredding them

Gratliff

Fuck Washington imo