Spring Break is off to a whimper. We were supposed to go to a PADS fundraiser this evening, but it was postponed/cancelled because of the ban on gatherings larger than 250. It’s a shame; such a worthy cause. Pacific Assistance Dogs Society (PADS) breeds, raises and trains fully certified assistance dogs. Our service (mobility & PTSD) and hearing dogs provide life-changing independence to those with physical disabilities other than blindness.
In other words, it was a banquet to help out puppies. Like this guy,
and her,
and them.
Every summer at the baseball stadium, they bring their dogs to get them used to being in public situations. They ask me to go full volume around them so they are used to loud, sudden noises. It’s not uncommon; you might remember the story from last summer when a bunch of service dogs in Ontario were doing the same thing at a “Billy Elliot” performance,
same idea, except baseball & some asshole yelling about beer.
So, yes, I would like to pay $250/plate to share a dinner with handsome creatures like this, and we will attend when it’s rescheduled. Philanthropy can be such a burden sometimes.
Tonight’s entertainment:
- UFC Fight Night: live from Brazil
- Lee vs. Oliveira – 6:00PM | TSN / ESPN
- The “empty arena” stratagem. To quote,
- “I’m good with fighting in an empty arena,” Kevin Lee tweeted yesterday. “Let’s not panic too crazy, let us fight, entertain the people stuck at home.”
- The “empty arena” stratagem. To quote,
- Lee vs. Oliveira – 6:00PM | TSN / ESPN
- 2020 Super Rugby:
- Jaguares vs. Highlanders – 7:00PM | TSN2 / ESPN+
- From Buenos Aires; in an empty stadium.
- Brumbies vs. NSW Waratahs – 1:00AM | TSN / ESPN+
- From Canberra; no word on attendance issues.
- According to Wikipedia, “Super Rugby is a professional men’s rugby union international club competition involving teams from Argentina, Australia, Japan, New Zealand, and South Africa.”
- In Beerguy’s world – “Fuck you, at least it’s sports on TV.”
- Jaguares vs. Highlanders – 7:00PM | TSN2 / ESPN+
- Fútbol: Liga MX:
- León vs. UNAM – 8:55PM | UNI
Please try to be civil – all we’ve got is each other once our families turn either against us or into zombies.
Well, shit.
The failure in this video is almost mathematically perfect.
Enjoy it.
I’m predicting a lot of Christmas babies this year…
Meanwhile, I will die forever alone
But it has electrolytes.
I just read that Boris Johnson wants to aim for a herd immunity strategy for the UK. Not to reuse old material here, but it sure fucking feels like everybody’s choosing what’s in the box on Wheel Of Fish right now.
I’m shocked!
That I’d reuse material? Nah, I’m pretty lazy.
https://mobile.twitter.com/BrookeGMcDonald/status/1238986272137502720
What I don’t understand is why O’Hare or JFK or DFW are even still open. Yes, Customs is federal. The rest of the airport is not. Every one of those people should be taken from Customs to that black site Chicago PD ran or somewhere – I don’t care where – to keep the virus that obviously is infecting the thousands of people there before they can spread it to anyone else in the airport or get on a plane and spread it domestically. The governor tweeted at Trump, but the fact is that he has the power to isolate and quarantine every one of those people the second they step foot out of Customs and he hasn’t because he’s just as fucking stupid and worthless as everyone else in power.
We’re fucked because we have the worst people in the world as our leaders at every level, in every institution, and throughout the entire system. Every government, every corporation, everything: they’re all equally fucked because they are all run by the shittiest, stupidest, most despicable people in the world and now they are going to kill millions of people because we just let this happen for the last fifty years.
You’re not wrong at all. There was a Maddow interview clip I saw with a guy explaining what China does, and it’s something they had in place from SARS–screening everyone out and about for a fever, and if they pop they go to a fever clinic where they screen out flu, bacterial infections, then catscan the lungs, and if that’s positive only then do they do the nasal swab, and if positive you go to a different quarantine location, away from friends and family, where there’s nursing staff onsite. Here we vAlUe OUr FrEEdOm so we’re all left to infect those closest to us or massive airports full of travelers. Plus apparently the big private hospital boom in the past led to huge reductions in bed #s in most areas, so it’s not like we have intrinsic spare capacity to handle these things, so we’d have to convert schools and such to create these new wards… ugh, so unprepared. Should have just taken the goddamn red snapper when we had the chance.
In China if someone tests positive for the virus they are sent to an advanced clinic that can very comfortably house and treat them with the latest medical science but which is actually a giant incinerator.
This is a minor strain that has a very low mortality rate. It is very infectious; so the fear mongering is irrational and just like most other fears people react emotionally. You are completely correct that we as a nation are woefully unprepared and those in charge are aggressively antiscience and doing everything they can to reduce budget for anything that actually prepares us for when a real virulent pandemic with a high mortality rate crops up, and it will.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/report-nfl-players-union-to-discuss-postponing-free-agency-on-sunday/ar-BB11c9FS
Oh, come on! Now we’re losing Free Agency!
A while back there was a DFO poker game going on Pokerstars. With the lack of sports on, we’re bringing it back. Here is the club ID and the invitation code. Feed your gambling addiction with play money poker!
Club ID number: 3210828
Invitation Code: National Disgrace
Best code ever? Best code EVAR
“Judges?” (buzzer)
“I’m sorry. The correct answer is:
8008569
Nice!
On my way!!!
I can’t find the lobby to get to the home games, and the mobile app is “not available in my area.” I’m on an iPad (with a VPN) and I remember this issue last time the poker room was up and I was in L.A. Need some tech guidance here and/or detailed instructions on finding the home game
The Poker Club won’t work on mobile or Chromebooks or Ipads. It only works on desktop. I found out the hard way.
That’s what I thought.
AFL will continue with no spectators! More sports to watch!
Disappointing that they’re not making any changes to ensure public health
Hee hee hee! That’s funny for AFLW.
Men’s AFL is going crowdless too.
Why don’t they just let 250 spectators in and everybody sits 100 feet apart?
Brick should be President.
And you can bring your own beer
Think I’ll go hiking in the rain tomorrow. Then pick up some box wine on the way home. When I went to the grocery store a couple days ago it wasn’t out of anything other than Claussen pickle halves. They had spears, they had wholes, but NOT HALVES
Good thing you know how to make wholes into halves.
The brine doesn’t soak into the wholes as much so they aren’t as salty, that unfortunately isn’t fixed by cutting them in half unless you put them back to marinate for a few more days
Tough but fair
No halves?
Won’t someone think of the children
What are we, savages?
From a few days ago, apparently. Assuming everyone hates the dude in the middle and wants to infect him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_wjPzrrt4E
We have a Plan B in case WrestleMania gets cancelled.
https://twitter.com/WWEBrayWyatt/status/1238965910620254208
There is a 100% chance that Bray thinks this is a massive government conspiracy. Him and his brother are fucking crazy.
Agreed. He’s a great performer who puts forth 100% into his gimmicks, but you can tell that insanity is coming from somewhere.
Bo believes the Earth is hollow and ruled by lizard people who have hidden parts of the bible away from the rest of humanity. This is not kayfabe. Also, a Sandy Hook truther, but that’s hardly unique in the WWE
Bills Mafia Royal Rumble?
https://twitter.com/WrestIeFunnies/status/1238893308577013762
Rambo III: Hilarious in Hindsight is on now.
Just got an email that my company is work from home for the next two weeks starting Monday. Hello pantsless meetings
How is this different from before?
I have three depositions confirmed for next week, (Valhalla motherfuckers, I’m a goddamn Viking!), and am going to be shocked if they actually go forward.
I’m remote until April 6th or so
Niiiiiiice!
Go team!
What odds can I get on this?
Puts me in mind of when I spend a couple hours straightening shit up before the Cleaning Lady arrives.
Someone check on BC Dick. He might be losing it.
Lost it. That’s from the olympics for shut-ins I think
Hurr-eh
Hur-ay hard
So it seems I got in on the ground floor by going to the grocery yesterday. Several of my friends went today and spoke of paper product, dairy, and meat aisles completely stripped bare. But they all spoke of how the beer and wine departments were fully stocked.
It’s gonna be all right!
Yep, that’s what I saw. Toilet paper completely gone, most meats gone. But alcohol and pork in ample supply — THE FOOLS! I win!
I am baffled as well that more people haven’t been stocking up on booze.
I’m hoping My Guy can bring by more scrip Xanax soon, and maybe some China White.
My store took all the chicken but left the beef and pork. All the toilet paper and paper towels. Half the soup. Half the canned vegetables. And for some reason, two endcaps of Gogert was stripped down to the plastic skids. The monsters even took the cardboard displays!
My trip to Meijer informed me that people only eat chicken, potatoes, bread, ramen, milk, soap, and toilet paper.
Well this whole quarantine situation really gives me a chance to catch up on my wikifeet editor duties.
My yard needs mowing and the battery is dead on my lawn tractor. Put it on the charger overnight, but if that doesn’t fix it, the next existentialist question becomes “what’s the point of getting a new battery?” It doesn’t help that I watched and read “Children of Men” a couple years ago and it sticks in my mind.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Children_of_Men
Even the years almost match.
Air France is having a crazy business class fare sale, this is the best one and it’s good through the end of the schedule so you can book for when we’re not on pandemic lockdown. https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/premium-fare-deals/2012851-af-kl-dl-vs-bud-us-750-r-t.html
The fare is out of Budapest, but you can nest it with an ex-US RT to get two trips
Example: US -> BUD on ticket 9/1, BUD -> US on ticket 2 10/1, US -> BUD ticket 2 11/1, BUD -> US ticket 1 12/1
“when we’re not on pandemic lockdown”
I admire your plucky optimism that we aren’t entering “The Stand” or “Lucifer’s Hammer” or “Earth Abides” or “Omega Man” or “On the Beach” or “The Quiet Earth” or “Road Warrior” or “The Handmaid’s Tale” territory. I guess since I have spent a half century reading and watching this kind of stuff, I am just naturally pessimistic.
That’s a risk, but I think booking stuff now has a positive EV so I’m willing to go for it
You have my complete support. You can say “OK Boomer” anytime you like and I will not be offended or offer any retort.
Pumas estoy getting rolled.
Muy malo PK
Keeper freaked him out by being off to one side.
It messed me up just watching.
Que lastima el penalty es muy mal
/is still watching All The President’s Men”, realizes that the word ‘intrepid’ has fallen into disuse.
//[sighs]
*Mid-1990s Chrysler product shakes head in sadness, sighs, rolls eyes.*
FanDuel has a DFS contest for the Democratic debate
Praise GAMBLOR
I want them to both roll out onto stage in them giant plastic bubbles. 25-to-1, maybe??
ALTERNATE – They sit on beanbag chairs, and play Mario Kart for two hours.
How does that even work? Isn’t that stuff subjective?
Wow.
h
ttps://imgbox.com/g/Z6sO4woiKh
“Unnamed box” indeed
I guess the snow, which has all melted, and the fear or stupidity kept everyone away. It wasn’t that bad and I realized most of what I got wasn’t worth the trip. I got some Lagunitas beer, though, so that’s nice.
that’s an excellent score, in these Mad Max times
Pils. Definitely an excellent idea.
I also got a Hell of a workout walking back in the cold with all this stuff.
Why in the fuck are they singing “Country Roads” in Durban, South Africa?
Fun Fact*: The recent resurgence of that song is mostly due to a marketing campaign by the stakeholders in the song. Looks like the score is now:
Conglomerate Media Rights Holders: 1
John Denver: 0
Mountans: 1
True Fact:
Robert Redford in the ’70’s could walk against traffic and would never be fined for Jaywalking. Prove me wrong. I dare you.
Probably could still get away with it, unless the cops were real young and didn’t know of him.
Even though I can only understand 10% of what’s said, TUDN is a great channel.
Dunno whether to pull for Leon or Pumas, just glad SOMETHING IS FUCKING ON
I’m pulling for a seamus. /phrasing
He dies on a bus at the end of Midnight Cowboy and then turns up at the beginning of All The President’s Men? I just don’t trust Dustin Hoffman.
Also in a famous love story with marriage at the end, then in a famous divorce movie PICK A SIDE ALREADY
Plus that time he was a French counterfeiter who kept all his money in a tube up his ass in prison in French Guiana with Steve McQueen as his buddy.
One thing about watching All The President’s Men is that Robert Redford had a number of face blemishes that was never addressed by TMZ.
I haven’t been to the liquor store in years. I just drink beer or wine. But I don’t want to go buy beer because the animals are out at those places.
Singing their sings like the bastards that they are. How Dare They!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw7RTUEZMyg
Rumour has it that they will be closing the LCBO ( liquor stores) in Ontario next week
We got a new liquor store down the street a few months back. The owner is from New York, drives a Merc SL55 or something similarly fancy, and is probably on the witness protection program or something. “Fuck Lillehammer, dude, how bout running a liquor store in an exurban community just north of San Antonio?” My favourite part is that it’s unlike Texas liquor stores where the shelves only go up to shoulder height, but just like a packy back up east where the shelves go all the way to the ceiling. He gives me 10% discount with my Air Force (civilian) ID, so I like to go there even though it’s a little bit higher priced. Especially since it is the closest retail liquor establishment to my house.
This new NFL CBA with the added games? I’m against it because I’m not sure I can come up 18 new ‘stories’ about hobos meeting their maker.
How about one where you’re an entitled, short sighted
conservativemoron who casts their vote to defund public works and social welfare programs, thereby, effectively, killing many tramps.You spelled Trammps wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_sY2rjxq6M
This UFC thing in an empty arena is wild.
That was one hell of a KO
Yeah, I’m not sure what Meia is complaining about. He got KTFO.
I want to go to the store.
In another 2 or 3 months, we’ll be able to!!
Pick me up some hand sanitiizer, would you?
None to be had.
“All The President’s Men” is showing on TCM at 8pm. Given the current (small p) presidency you have, I’m sure I’m going to end up hugging my TV at the end of the movie.
.
I was going to make fun of you jumping in and shitting on my comment. But I thought that would be too much. Here we are.
No. I’m an asshole.
Me too. We’ve something in common.
one of us!! one of US!!!
Pennsytucky’s liquor stores are closing Monday. Time to stock up.
what’s left in Sudameriano y the former Soviet bloc has keep my addiction sated. Today.
[high fives Hippo] I met Johnny Two Teeth behind the dumpster two hours ago. It did not go well for him.
#addictionsated
Well, since there’s nothing else to do, you all have no excuse but to partake in a reading of the play that I’m writing. I trust you all received the script I sent you. I’ll start.
“Is it St. Swiven’s day already,” replied Aunt Helga.
*Flips to correct page
“SNARLGROWLCHOMPCHOMPSNARL”
*shrugs
/Horatio stands at the edge of the stage, arms spread to show that he is a tree
“Man, my agent is so fired.”
Just placed my online grocery order. It will be available for pick up on Tuesday.
Super Rugby is great! AFLW is still on. No word yet on Men’s AFL. Finally, Liga MX is continuing albeit behind closed doors.
Pueeebbblllaaaaaaaa
Did I tell ya, or what??