Banner Madness 2020: Salty 16, Day 1

Arguably the best-named round we came up with. Alternately, arguably the worst. Personally “Penultimate Four” is still my favorite. It’s also the What the Hell are Regional Semifinals!

As things go we start it with the top left of the bracket and the GAMBLOR Regional. Which I should finish filling in the master print copy of—it’s obviously been a stressful few days so it seems reasonable for things to have gone the wayside a little bit. Y’know, like the rest of the planet.

The GAMBLOR Region’s second round results:

64. “Only thing wetter than this Ravens-Steelers game is my wife seeing the Witcher in the tub.” beats 27. “You’d think everybody would remember the name of the jockey who became famous for riding Cigar, but all everyone ever talks about when it comes to that subject is Monica Lewinsky.” 21-15

44. “Touchdown, Mohammad. NO, NBC! DON’T SHOW HIS PICTURE!” beats 50. “THIS AARON DONALD I CALL HIM PEYTON MANNING IN THE TRAINING ROOM BECAUSE HE’S GOING TO DROP THE SACK ON YOU AGAINST YOUR WILL AND NO ONE WILL DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.” 21-15

56. “The Bengals have a bye next week. They’re three point underdogs.” beats 20. “THIS AAF, I CALL IT A LOT OF MY RELATIONSHIPS, BECAUSE IT GOT OFF TO A GOOD START, BUT WHEN THE MONEY RAN OUT IT WAS ALL OVER.” 25-11

49. “The Dolphins just announced that their entire roster will be listed as Questionable for next week. They’re not injured, just really fucking questionable.” beats 11. “We have to wait to vote? What are we, black people in GOP-controlled states?” 18-17

I like how the Bengals’ badness takes on the Dolphins’ badness for a spot in the Ice Milk Eight.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment. Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

Yes, only two polls per day from here to the final. That’s what happens as the numbers start to dwindle. Still time to vote, because it’s seriously not like we can do very much else at this point.

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Redshirt

Urge to vote twice rising….rising….

Old School Zero

That Bengals-Dolphins match up is the most exciting Bengals-Dolphins match up of my entire life.

nomonkeyfun

All DFOers working from home for the first time. Please remember that while you don’t have to wear pants, make sure your camera is off before standing up during any videoconferences. Also, dont wear your jag-rag shirt during the calls.

Game Time Decision

Pro tip: Put tape over the camera

Redshirt

Not clear tape.

King Hippo

Redshirt is CLEANING UP!

Redshirt

I’m a Republican, I know how to profit from racism and sucking.

King Hippo

You know, you’ve been such a good sport re our lefty-ism. I have to say – Gov. DeWine seems like he’s doing an honest, diligent, and proactive job. Good on him.

Redshirt

I’m impressed by his performance too. It takes a set of stones to force Cincinnati to cancel Opening Day. He’s gonna use this crisis as a platform to run for President in ’24, but so far he’s being far better than Trump.