The latter will come on stronger as we’re cooped up, don’t worry. Meanwhile speaking of madness, here’s the BOLTMAN Regional Semis. First, the secon round results.

2. “These goal posts are taking it like an NFL girlfriend lately.” beats 48. “Maryland channeling their inner older, more mature Jesus by not going crazy at Temple.” 15-13

51. “THIS JASON GARRETT, I CALL HIM HILLARY CLINTON BECAUSE HE TOOK WISCONSIN LIGHTLY AND IT’S GOING TO COST HIM A JOB” beats 62. “I feel it’s fitting that the final play in the Oakland Coliseum is of a Raider being hit in the face with a pass that it was really important for him to catch.” 15-14

19. “Like an improvised rope made of bedsheets, Sharkbait’s banner held together long enough to strangle the competition.” beats 15. “11 days to make it just one round—what are we, Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ belt?!” 16-12

14. “To be fair, Gruden saw end of career Jerry Rice. Kind of like judging pie eating abilities of end of life Terri Schiavo.” beats 40. “I’ve had enough of condescending bodies of water. Get over yourself, Lake Superior.” 15-14

I can appreciate the razor closeness of the entire region. Two one-vote matchups and a two-voter, and the widest margin still was close, under a 60-40 split. Will it continue?

Let’s find out!