Your “Loyalty Counts For NOTHING!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

NFL Notes:

  • Finding no trade partners, the Panthers have released Cam Newton after nine seasons.
    • Because his 2015 contract extension was front-loaded, the Panthers only take a $2 million dead-cap hit on his 2020 contract.
      • He would have made $21.1 million had the Panthers kept him for 2020.
    • Early front-runners as a landing spot for Newton are the Chargers.

Today’s internet good dog is, surprisingly, found by James Woods, whose Twitter feed is usually full of nuts & right-wing conspiracies.

I mean, the weirdos are still in the comments, but there’s no “Life Under Obamacare!! MAGA 2020!11!1!” following his picture, so that’s progress?


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • MLB Classics:
    • Blue Jays Classic – 1992 ALCS Game #6 – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
      • Spoiler – the Jays win their first AL pennant
    • Kansas City at New York Yankees in Game 3 of the 1978 ALCS.
      • George Brett hit 3 HRs, but Thurman Munson hit a two-run shot in the bottom of the eighth to win the game 6-5.
  • OJ: Made in America | ESPN / TSN
    • Episode 2 or 4 – 7:00PM  } – both channels weren’t clear on which ones
    • Episode 3 or 5 – 9:00PM  }           are being shown
  • Peyton’s Places – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / 9:30PM | TSN2
    • Revisit all five episodes in a row
  • Ink Master – 10:00PM | Paramount/Spike
    • Pressure grows as the Turf War ranks run thin, and the Artists’ versatility is put to the test. Meanwhile, an alliance strategy backfires, putting an unexpected frontrunner on the chopping block.

Today’s good COVID tweet comes courtesy John Cleese:

Cleverer indeed.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighBrick MeathookALXMACBC Dickyeah right Recent comment authors
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
yeah right

About graduation night.

/heard on Jonesey’s Jukebox recently.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

yeah right, I first heard of Cheap Trick when I saw them open for Foghat at the Capitol Centre way back when. Their “Live at Budokan” went big shortly thereafter.

yeah right

1978 at the Coliseum for the World Music Fest.

The Fabulous Poodles opened to great disdain.

Toto! April Wine, The Outlaws, Cheap Trick, REO Speedwagon and Ted Nugent!

There were rumors of acid.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

New Sondre Lerche?? NEW SONDRE LERCHE!!

yeah right

One of the greatest music losses we’ve had as a society is free form radio.

As our esteemed brother Brick Meathook mentioned with Jonesy’s juke box, Jim Ladd has been part of LA radio for 50 years and he did free form radio.

Brought his own albums from home..

Everything is pre-packaged and pre-situated and homogenized now.

Decades ago he played this for his audience.

yeah right

And that’s how a younger yeah right discovered the LA rock-a-billy scene that he would have never known existed.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

In the Running Down A Dream documentary, Tom Petty said that he wrote this about Jim Ladd.

yeah right

Back in the mid-late 70’s we had a kick ass rock station out here, KMET that turned into the very worst local radio station, The Wave. Jim Ladd was always there. What’s cool is on Sunday he did mid-days and led into Dr Demento.

And that’s pretty much the explanation of how I got here.

I can’t give a complete list but KMET introduced me to everything.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

yeah right

Yeah.

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

Just Lurking
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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

yeah right

Jonesy’s jukebox is the shit,

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I can’t get past the idea that Melania’s plastic surgery has all been to make her look more like Donald

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck it. Boobs.
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Col. Duke LaCross

With smaller breastesses. Like a somehow more demented version of Liberace and Scott Thorsen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

I guess that explains the flattering profile picture.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fine I guess I’ll just go watch Jeopardy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is there no one at the table? Did you check under the table? Did they lose their internet connection? Did Scotchy murder them? Well, if some serial killer did that, they probably keep playing, so that’s out.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I took all their moneh and they all got “tired”.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But we got long ass wire on Black Jeopardy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you going to have some soup now? Not sure why I’m asking but some delicious soup sounds good.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I have three different kinds of homemade soup. I was going to make some chili tonight but didn’t. Maybe tomorrow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

mmmmmmm chili…… meaty chili…….

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This will always be my favorite SNL “Black Jeopardy.” Tom Hanks has won two Oscars.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

And survived COVID-19.

A true American hero.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What kinda meat you got in yer chili?

*Question sounds much more personal than it really is.

Dunstan
Dunstan

You can’t go wrong with anything involving Elizabeth Banks.

Although that restraining order hearing was less fun than I expected.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Suuuure, on a night when I take all your fake money, you all leave without warning. You sure as shit stick around when you’re taking mine.
LOL

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The girl in the rocket was one of the TV ‘Catwomen,” all of whom could rock a skin-tight costume.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh REALLY?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

yes, moose, this is true.

jerry lewis has an uncredited cameo in this scene, which is not shown

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sarcasm font not working.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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[grumble, grumble] I can do without Tom Dick, just you watch. [grumble, grumble]

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

. . . and then they were all killed on the second day of the Battle of Gettysburg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

Hot!

litre_cola

I swear I saw a film where this piston pumped back and forth.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

BC Dick

Someone mentioned Dispatches from Elsewhere on some day in the “past”. Something weird enough to keep going back but not sure it’s good?
I watched the first two so far after seeing that and I agree. It’s interesting, though, and that’s what matters. I like so far. Who needs to know what’s going on if you want to see more?

Horatio Cornblower

That was me. Really liked last night episode. I’m in for the duration.

BC Dick

Ah yes. Thank you. I am back into it tonight. It sure seems like something Segel would think up.

litre_cola

2 seats still available at the poker table. Hippo can’t bluff.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Now that we’re all stuck inside and not interacting with people, we can go back to not washing our hands again, right? ASKIGN FOAR A FRIED.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How long since you washed yer balls, bro?

Dunstan
Dunstan

My balls aren’t interacting with anyone

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not with THAT attitude!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn, I missed the opportunity for the Peyton Manning joke; I have failed.

BC Dick

Just stay out of my office lavatory, got damn it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is a wise precaution not matter what.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m making masks out of old sheets and bra straps. To think of all the times I cursed these bra clasps to hell…who’s laughing now, high-school aged (okay, fine, COLLEGE-AGED) Rikki?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BRA CUP WILL STOP COROVIEO19; JUST WEAR THAT 24-7!

Senor Weaselo

For science: Different cup sizes and their mask capabilities!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Needs motorboat tests.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is a building down the street that a congressman has on office in and there was always Tea Party people protesting the wild ridiculous deficits when Obummer was in office at the height when the economic recovery was taking place. I have not seen them lately……

Gratliff

Look, sometimes the ‘Rona does a good

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not since 2016…..

Dunstan
Dunstan

“In total, the Patriots have $23 million in dead-cap money this year.”

Interesting that this would happen in the season that could be jeopardized by a pandemic.

A pandemic that originated in Asia.

A continent that supplies some of Robert Kraft’s favorite masseuses.

I’m just sayin’, people, CONNECT THE DOTS!

herodotus450
herodotus450

And Brady, a “free agent,” goes to the hotbed franchise of germ warfare? For what, exactly?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

CLIMATE CHANGE HOAX!!

rockingdog
rockingdog

Found a funny:

STAYING HOME DAY 1: I should create a schedule to give my life structure.

DAY 9: I wonder what photosynthesis tastes like to trees.

rockingdog
rockingdog

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Yo, get rid of “?format=” and replace with a period. And get rid of the ending “&name=medium”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe he should get a haircut too…..jussayin…..

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

And smile more. That’s not too much to ask.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

John was the walrus. Paul wasn’t the walrus. John was only saying that to be nice, but John was really the walrus.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gives you that weird feeling…..

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

“Story suggested by OLIVER JEFFRIES”

dang that’s a hell of a credit

Gratliff

Oh shit. Brand new RTJ

Gratliff

theeWeeBabySeamus

I love having no sports.

litre_cola

Give us your fake money.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Table open?

litre_cola

yessir

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

May be time to dive back into an MMO and replace this monotony with another, more expensive monotony

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Social distancing…..

herodotus450
herodotus450

The number of pornstars named Dani Daniels
Is too damn high!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Or so you’ve heard?

herodotus450
herodotus450

The Maestro

Poker’s happening, if y’all are interested. GET IN HEAH

litre_cola

En route

ballsofsteelandfury

Jonesy is a great nickname.

If any of you have seen “Scrotal Recall” (lamely renamed on Netflix USA as “Lovesick”), the Jonesy character was super cool.

Here she is:
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Jonesy’s Jukebox was my favorite radio show ever. I think he’s still on KLOS or internet radio. That’s Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols and the guy is funny as hell and plays great music.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I thought that was Al Davis for a second.
Also, that’s a pretty cush work schedule.

Game Time Decision

To be fair, Jonesey’s nothing without Reilly

Gratliff

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Col. Duke LaCross

“I smell body spray so I know it can’t be good.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Col. Duke LaCross

So many takedowns of big city slams, boys!

SonOfSpam

John Cleese is an international treasure and must be protected. (Along with Michael Palin and Eric Idle.)

James Woods should be pushed out to sea and lit afire with a flaming arrow.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

A flaming arrow fired by a Roman ballista.comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

John Cleese turns out to be a fucking racist asshole.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, that was a heel turn I didn’t see coming

SonOfSpam

I did not know that. Compliment rescinded.

Gratliff

It’s funny because he’s largely still very progressive but occasionally throws a “FUCKING IMMIGRANTS DESTROYED OUR BEAUTIFUL WHITE ENGLAND” in there from a private island in the Carribean

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They can also have the paternalistic racism going for them on occasion, which in degrees is not quite as bad, but still fucked up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I did not know until recently. He didn’t do a Bill Cosby, but still; I’ve always liked his comedy and his comments tainted (!!) that.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

It happens when people get older. Old people want it to be like when they were young. They see the increase in minorities as a threat to that desire. I watched it happen to three formerly fairly tolerant people over the last 20 years (aunt, grandfather, and father).

BC Dick

I bet old people who are minorities in whatever place they live get like that, too. So who’s to judge? I don’t need John Cleese to be a good person, he just needs to make good jokes. Just like I don’t need my football players to have a gentle soul.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t really expect him to be funny anymore, except maybe an occasional clever bon-mot I might see on the internet. Just like I don’t expect the Rolling Stones to go into the studio and produce an album of the quality of, say, Exile on Main Street, Some Girls, or Let It Bleed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, there is a tolerance level for bullshit and while people can ignore someone being a nazi or some shit as long as they put out good music or play well for their team, it makes me personally not enjoy them as much or not at all any more. A good example is Tyreek Hill. I’m not saying this case is nearly that extreme, but ignoring shit is not really my game, but you go right ahead.

BC Dick

Yeah. There’s a wide gulf between national socialism and making jackassy comments on twitter or whatever he said where.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Here’s is what I said; “I’m not saying this case is nearly that extreme” Yeah, comprehension.

Also said to set the bar for his crime: “It’s like when Rachel Hunter married Rod Stewart; she kilt mah boner for her.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve seen the opposite happen and neither. Generalizations like this are usually worthless; but agree it happens a lot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some fucking nostalgic thoughts get distorted with time and casual associations get made.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s like when Rachel Hunter married Rod Stewart; she kilt mah boner for her.

scotchnaut

If you like The Boxing, The Modern Martial Artist channel on the YT should sate your needs.

BC Dick

Oh yes. Lots of good fights available on the computers these days. Love me some foreman and norton and the like.

Gratliff

I’ve definitely fallen out of love with boxing over the years, but I do still get that jolt of sick glee watching old Tyson knockouts.

Gratliff

That fucking shot on Mark Young was some Dragonball Z shit. Looked like he knocked him out just from the fucking wind following his fist.

SonOfSpam

Many Tyson knockouts (of males) were done before the bell rang.

“Everyone has a plan til they get punched in the mouth”

Gratliff

The best ones are the ones where they’ve already died and they don’t even know it. Like Ric Flair hamming it up, but with (more) concussions.

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litre_cola

Gamblor be praised. Mrs. Cola is an essential health care worker and Decilitre will go to daycare in 2 days. Holy Fuck I am so relieved, no way I could work from home and mind a toddler (aka small coked up drunk person).

scotchnaut

Daycares are not shut down in The Alberta?

litre_cola

They are except for health care workers where there is limited spaces.

Gratliff

Got an email from the state today informing me that I’m a critical infrastructure worker. Nicest thing I’ve ever been called by an employer.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Today I had to send this memo from Undersecretary of the AF and DHS to all my contractors working USAF construction projects. Posted without comment.
https://media.defense.gov/2020/Mar/22/2002268024/-1/-1/1/DEFENSE-INDUSTRIAL-BASE-ESSENTIAL-CRITICAL-INFRASTRUCTURE-WORKFORCE-MEMO.PDF

Gratliff

ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder
Senor Weaselo

So, I just finished teaching and we’re apparently giving all of the money ever to Wall Street? No way they squander it, right?

scotchnaut

Cam: “I’d really like to play for the Chargers.”

Chargers GM: “How many kids do you have?”

Cam: “Kids?”

Chargers GM: “You heard me. Kids. Children. Offspring. How many?”

Cam: “Um, well, I have three.”

Chargers GM: “If you want to play QB for us, you’ve got to have at least five, with more on the way. Maybe you have a few more out of wedlock?

Cam: “Uh, no.”

Chargers GM: “We’re done here.”

Cam: “Uh, okay. Huh…”

Chargers GM: [buzzes secretary] “Send in Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This needs to be an entire post.

TheRevanchist

I had to resort to frozen microwavable sushi for lunch. These truly are trying times.

Gratliff

Couldn’t you just not microwave it and let nature take its course?

TheRevanchist

There is an instruction for putting the container in warm water for 20 minutes, but I don’t have that kind of time or surface area on my desk to make that process work.

Well, maybe on the corner of the desk, but that is about it.

BC Dick

That sounds atrocious. I’m betting on mushy hot exterior with bone-hard frozen insides.

TheRevanchist

Food that is barely above gas station level is better than being below gas station level. And I like gas station food.

Gratliff

BC Dick

Ha! I do too. Those slimy little sandwiches with the off-brand mayo and transparent lettuce. Something about how it’s all been melded together over its short, 3 week shelf life. And don’t get me started on the goddamn taquitos. I would eat those forever at every meal.

Senor Weaselo

I’m assuming it’s vegetarian, because otherwise that sounds dangerous.

herodotus450
herodotus450

That PAT Gostkowski missed three years ago is really coming back to haunt him now.

scotchnaut

GOSTKOWSKI WAS CUT BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DO HIS JERB. NO ONE DENIES THIS!

herodotus450
herodotus450

You see some Sensator player was the first to test positive for the carbinevirus? Good thing nobody goes to the games, or else it could have spread.

scotchnaut

Nate Silver ran the numbers and the Red Wings lousy goal differential of -122 would have been slightly better if Detroit didn’t bother to play a goalie. ZING! POW!

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

I hope that the Pats lose multiple games by missed extra points or field goals.

BC Dick