Your “There’s No Place Like Home” Friday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus
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As with many communities across the country, my locale has instituted martial law beginning 2 hours ago.  Well, martial law might be an overstatement I suppose, but not by much.  But according to them I’m not allowed to go anywhere.  And I could be fined and/or jailed if I’m not out and about for “valid” reasons.

(is looking for a hooker a valid reason?)

((seems like one of those “essential” things they keep talking about))

(((just me huh?)))

Anywhoooooo….

And there’s nowhere to go anyway because everything is closing up early.  So here I am at home.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got everything I need.  Food, water, shelter and heat.

And even most of what I want.  Books, booze and satellite tv.  A hot nekkid chick WOULD be a bonus.

But you can’t have everything.

It kind of annoys me that I’m being told arbitrarily by “the man” that I can’t go out “unless”.

Yesterday before the crackdown I went shopping.  You know, just in case.  They already had cops posted at the store.  I mean I’ve seen cops at the store before.  Shoplifters, etc.  But these guys were literally “posted”.  Meaning they were enforcing and making certain nobody hoarded anything.  This concerns me.  Maybe that’s just me.

And don’t get me wrong.  I understand the deal with the aspects we’re dealing with here.  The closings, etc.  Trying to keep people from passing “teh virus”, etc.

But it still annoys me.

It also annoys me that every day, several times a day, when I’m trying to watch TV, especially Jeopardy, the news breaks in and claims to have Breaking News.  And then more or less tell me they don’t know what the hell is going on today any more than yesterday.

YOU JUST MADE ME MISS THE CATEGORIES.  HOW CAN I PLAY NOW?

Non- Sports

Yeah you already know this part.

I honestly have no idea unless you want to watch reruns of old World Series or Superb Owls.

Friday night dramatic TV also stinks, but I do have a lot of Science Channel docs and game shows on the DVR.

See? I knew Vanna White liked me.

(ahem)

And I still gotta get caught up on Better Call Saul.

I did also start reading a really good book today, recommended to me by none other the the lovely and talented King HippoThe Singer’s Gun by Emily St. John Mandel.  So far so good.

(yes Hippo, I did finally get through Station Eleven)

Anyway, we’re all mostly stuck at home for the time being it seems.  At least most of the time.  So talk about how you’re passing the time.

Oooooh, I just hit the Video Daily Double.  Suck it Trebek.

Home Bodies

On the bright side, even while stuck at home there are any number of things you can still do to pass the time.

Enjoy…

Checking the cushions for spare change to tide you over until you get your stimulus check.
Airing out the cushions after you found the spare change.
Looking through a french door toward the inside. Ok that doesn’t make sense but she’s still hot.
It’s ok to go onto the deck as long as no one else is within six feet.
Hanging out the bathroom is ok. As long as you wash your hands.
Don’t get too drunk or you could fall over the furniture you forgot was there.
However, if anyone unexpectedly shows up and breaks the six foot rule, hiding behind sheer curtains will not work, btw.
Hanging out in the bedroom is fine. You could even catch up on dusting your furniture.
Even though I hate selfies, I suppose when you look like that you get a pass.
You can go through your wardrobe and see what still fits. I’ll approve this one.
You can check to make sure the carpet isn’t pulling up from the pad. Looks OK from here.
Always remember to stretch.
A good book is always a plus.
Moar furniture dusting. And why is it called “dusting” and not “un-dusting”? Or “de-dusting”?
You can just walk around looking like that. Although don’t do it here at my house or the six foot rule is out the window.
And if all else fails we can cook something. But I would not recommend letting “those” too close to that pot.

OK folks.  Try not to get cabin fever.  Drink heavily if necessary.

Screw it, I want a burger and I’m going to the drive-thru.

Catch me if you can Mr. Policeman.

GO FASTER DAVE!!!!!!

Have a nice weekend everyone.  Be kind and be safe.

Love ya’s.

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighViva La Tabula RazaBrick MeathookWCSMr. Ayo Recent comment authors
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[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] much like Fozz’s late-night rant from yesterday predicted for him, I spent the day in hell cleaning & deciding what to toss & what […]

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Today is Day Nine of my strict self-imposed quarantine after I flew from Montreal to Los Angeles.

I’ve been mostly okay, but this evening I got a slightly runny nose. This is how it starts, the beginning of the end.

I get a free funeral from the government, but if you guys can send me drinking money until then why I’d surely appreciate it. I’ll thank you when we all meet in heaven.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I freak out every day when I wake up and have to clear my throat. MY GOD I AM INFECTED! I finally got hold of a thermometer and can ascertain that I am not afflicted. Yet.

WCS

Exactly how did Rocko’s Modern Life make it past censors as a “kid’s cartoon”?

Sharkbait

Speaking of reading, I started reading “Sandworm” by Andy Greenberg. It’s fucking terrifying.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

You know what I find terrifying? THIS:
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LOOK AT IT
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Go” was such a pleasant surprise of a movie for me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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jjfozz

Mrs. Fozz wanst to clean th house otmorro . i wan tto shove a glass catheter down my dicek and smash it with a brk. fuck

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

litre_cola

Easy Blax, I can hardly keep up with 2 personas

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Ooh, get one for me while we’re at it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BC Dick

You fellas watch Atlanta? I’m a big fan. Good, widely-varied stories and styles and Van is a hot lady I would live in a storage locker to keep. Or something. It’s a good show.
Yoo-hoo!

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

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BC Dick

Yes. There are so many good things. It’s one of the few shows that when the credits roll I’m already excited to see what comes next week.

jjfozz

Lots of voka tonic and bourble now, i will survive. sty tuned

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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clint greasewood
clint greasewood

Just Lurking

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Too bad folks in the Ukraine did not have this kind of prescient warning.

BC Dick
BC Dick

Goddamn these internet puzzles. It’s the Seinfeld Ukraine thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Joliet Jake Delhomme

So, I am watching the youtube replay of the 85 bears superb owl. Through the first quarter, I was probably terrified. I also noticed that they were running Walter Peyton in motion to screw with the Patriots defense. Opened the way for Matt Suhey in the running game. Willie Gault is underrated.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

I wish I still had my “BEARS” sweater.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Everyone was watching Walter. Anywhere he ran, the defense would follow. I feel bad he didn’t get a touchdown, but it was the right way to gameplan.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

It is amazing to see an entire group of men who will never put their hand in their pocket in the city of Chicago for the rest of their lives. Such is the city of Chicago.

BC Dick

That’s a team you can get behind. The teams that win with defence are almost always more likeable than the offensive teams.
Bears I didn’t see in 85 since I was not born yet but the Ravens and Bucs in early 2000s and Seahawks (also because they’re my team) defensive domination just makes me so happy. Might have something to do with playing end/OLB and developing a deep hate for the fancy offensive dandies who need to get a lesson taught to end.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

One can make arguments, but I don’t know of a better NFL defense than the 85 bears.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

During your social isolation, search youtube for 85 bears.

BC Dick

Oh I will. I love good run D and nasty hitters. Brooks and Lynch for the bucs. #1 D beating #1 O decisively. Same with Seahawks. And Ravens too but they beat another top D in the giants. I think that I liked because it was Collins vs Johnson as the qbs.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

As a 26 year old Patriots fan, watching that game was my first experience of prison rape, like I was Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption. My cousin is an attorney in Mansfield, next town east of Foxboro. Grogan owns a sports equipment supply company there (helmets and hockey sticks for high school teams kind of thing), she represents his company; says he is really kind of a dick. Kind of fits the Patriots mold, I guess. It would be poetic if the real estate end of her practice covered the closing on Brady’s mansion; when it comes to the NFL she’s kinda like the female version of Tawmy from Southie with the same amount of NFL awareness, but it would be the high point of her life. Not a true fan, I accuse her; she won’t even stay up for night games. But aside from that she is a wonderful person.